On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

[rule number=41/]

Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time of conjuring. Nevertheless, they apply to the weekend warrior as much as they do to a Tour de France Champion.

Television commentators waxed poetic about the garbage bag caught on Froome’s back wheel being symbolic of how this race has thrown everything at him and still he persevered. Well, I’m here to tell you that his litter collection was little more than civic service and had nothing to do with bad luck: it was penance paid for a blatant violation of Rule #41. Full stop.

Obey the Rules and this sort of shit won’t happen.

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80 Replies to “On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors”

  1. @piwakawaka

    No one mentions Quitana’s time on the Alp,

    pretty dubious company, and it’s a tiny piece of isolated data, but no questions and certainly none of the sort of treatment Froome got.

    Or Pinot’s

  2. @Mike C

    What would make the fab 4 really interesting is to put them and only them into a two week race. All of them fresh and rested. Allow no drafting. You gotta pull your own ass along the entire route. Then let’s see who is really a bad ass.  Would Froome crack like the Chris-tal glass he is? Would Contador go off like quick draw McGraw? Would the shark get eaten? Would Quintana’s facial expression change?

    Froome won the Tour, no doubt.  Without the Sky train pulling him along, I don’t think he could have.  Could he have defended his lead like Contador did in the Giro? Would he have even gotten back up after dislocating his shoulder? Probably not. ..

    Sort of like Race Across America meets Ironman Triathlon bike leg? I can’t wait. Much.

  3. @frank

    For the record I am a Texan living in Ireland – so not gushing over the brits but have to hand it to Brailsford.

  4. @piwakawaka

    @Teocalli

    I was going to say that, surely Pinot was even quicker.

    The way the French media treated Froome over those 2 weeks was pretty disgraceful. Don’t know what their problem is, they seemed to quite like Wiggins.

  5. @Barracuda

    @ChrisO

    @frank

    @ped

    @rfreese888

    Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

    Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

    Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

    Let’s end this now


    cool


    the antithesisa

    Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

    I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

    I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

    I see another guy who – putting historical comparisons aside – is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

    I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

    None of that stops me questioning some of Sky’s approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.

    I reckon Im with you on this one @ChrisO.

    Given the spanning of years its just the natural progression of things and as you said, whats not to like about black Jags, high end Pinarello’s, Rapha and those Kask lids.

    Im envious and exhausted all at the same time.

    FWIW, best looking overall team in the game.

    No doubt Guimard and Le Blaireau just look the business and had loads of success with a clever, innovative approach and a healthy dollop of panache. Brailsford and Froome look totally nerdy in comparison. Too early to compare Brailsford to Guimard and forget about comparing anyone today to Le Blaireau.

    All that said Sky / Froome delivered in V Fashion in 3 out of the last 4 tours and until proven otherwise with a totally clean team.  When Hinault went to La Vie Claire they were all about the modern look and gadgets, scientific training etc. like Sky is today. They introduced targeted training with heart rate monitors and the Badger found the whole approach a revelation after being sick of getting ordered around by Guimard all the time with Renault.

    Brailsford and Froome are just dorky yes – but everyone is copying Sky’s formula now, including the French Cycling Federation!  So if Brailsford is not the new Guimard then who is?

  6. @Oli

    @RobSandy

    Quintana was mowing Pinot down, so that would make Pinot slower.

    Yes, good point.

    I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes.

  7. Hinault and Guimard were a killer combo in their day. Froome and Brailsford are a killer combo right now, but the sport has changed so much in the 30+ years that separates those photos that the comparison is unfair. Froome is very good, but he’s no Hinault in any way, shape or form.

    Froome handled himself very well – the abuse from fans and media was/is unwarranted. This wasn’t his first rodeo – one tour in the bag already, a 2nd in the Vuelta in 2011 (which he should have won but didn’t as he was working for Wiggo and could/should have beaten Cobo (where’s he now FFS?), and a 2nd in the Tour in 2012 to Wiggins. So let’s recap, if CF had been given free reign over the past 4 years, we could be looking at a 3 time Tour champ and one-time Vuelta winner. He’s been tested and tested and tested and not on scintilla of impropriety.

    Yeah, Sky have good gear, but the proper cycling cap Froomie wears looks shit. They need to contact whomever does the Etixx caps.

  8. @wiscot

    Yeah, Sky have good gear, but the proper cycling cap Froomie wears looks shit. They need to contact whomever does the Etixx caps.

    I think Froome would look odd in any cycling cap or hat. He’s got an odd shaped head.

  9. @Jim

    Just checked my own setup and I’m good.  Exactly per the rules.  Whew – breathed a sigh of relief.  Offending the velominati would be a bad thing.

    See, the thing is, my forks won’t allow the correct application of #41, so do I buy a new bike?

    Or, by NOT buying a new bike, am I in direct contravention of #12?

    Am I proper fucked either way?

  10. @wiscot

    I’m getting tired of the notion that Froom could’ve/would’ve/should’ve won the 2012 Tour. He didn’t. Because not only did Team Sky think Bradley Wiggins was the stronger rider, Bradley himself showed that in each ITT.

    Did Froome show he was faster at certain points in the race? He did. Big deal. Froome wasn’t the strongest every leg in the 2015 Tour either. Yet he was the strongest rider overall and he deservedly won. As did Wiggins in 2012.

  11. @markb

    @frank

    @RM2Ride

    True. Except that particular hipster just hoisted a silly blue cup at the end of a 23-day vacance en France. It might be hard to argue with that, somewhat.

    Dunno, never tried those rings myself. Wonder if they’ll catch on now.

    Fair enough, but they didn’t catch on after Wiggo and Froome won the Tour before. I rode Q-rings for a bit myself and found them fantastic some days and awful others. 1000 reasons that could be the case but chainring shape seems to be at most the “marginal” in “marginal” gains. You push on the pedals to make your bike go, not the other way around.

    All that said, I love Froome’s win this year much more than 2013; he really showed fight in the end and you have to respect that. This was not an Armstrong or Indurain style win. This was a good race.

    Not classic or epic. But good. But better than many. And I walk away from it liking Froome the most I’ve ever liked him. Whatever that means.

    Fuck, and I like Sagan now, too. And Cav. What’s happened to me?

    I was really gunning for Degenkolb there in the end.

    I don’t think he used them on every stage – I could imagine they are pretty awkward when standing going up hill.

    Can’t say I *like* Froome as a person – I’m pretty sure a night out with Cav  could be pretty wild, but Froomy would be sipping a diet coke in the corner tutting. As a cyclist, he rides ugly but he definitely understands Rule #5.

    @frank

    @RM2Ride

    True. Except that particular hipster just hoisted a silly blue cup at the end of a 23-day vacance en France. It might be hard to argue with that, somewhat.

    Dunno, never tried those rings myself. Wonder if they’ll catch on now.

    Fair enough, but they didn’t catch on after Wiggo and Froome won the Tour before. I rode Q-rings for a bit myself and found them fantastic some days and awful others. 1000 reasons that could be the case but chainring shape seems to be at most the “marginal” in “marginal” gains. You push on the pedals to make your bike go, not the other way around.

    All that said, I love Froome’s win this year much more than 2013; he really showed fight in the end and you have to respect that. This was not an Armstrong or Indurain style win. This was a good race.

    Hold on, don’t we all agree on this site that Pharmstrong never won the Tour?

  12. Guimard vs Brailsford be done

    Passed today, another great DS

    Embedded image permalinkIl professore, Giorgio Albani

  13. @nobby

    See, the thing is, my forks won’t allow the correct application of #41, so do I buy a new bike?

    Or, by NOT buying a new bike, am I in direct contravention of #12?

    Am I proper fucked either way?

    Yes I confirm you are fucked! (obvious-man at work again)….

  14. @wiscot

    @frank

    @rfreese888

    Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

    Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

    Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

    I so wanted Quintana to win but Movistar will have to plan it better and hope Froome has an off tour next year.

    They would have to plan another unusually hilly route if he’s going to have a chance; and this year, I’d say if there was one more mountain to climb, he’d have won the Tour.

    Yeah, and if there had been another proper TT in the last week (as there should have been) Froome would have taken minutes out of Quintana.

    Exactly, it won’t be soon that they design another Tour like this, although it was the best one for ages.

    I just can’t warm to CF, but he won it straight – won a stage and defended it brilliantly. NQ will have to get Guimard on his side vis a vis tactics to win. Hated seeing Malmerde on the podium – Nibbles deserved that spot for his stage win and fight back in week 3. Nibbles clearly came in below appropriate strength/fitness. Bertie was cooked and never looked like a serious contender.

    I loved Nibbles’ fight and that’s why I love him so much (and am so disappointed he’s at Astana – the only redeeming note from that is that obviously he and Vino hate each other). His flat on l’Alpe was such horrible luck.

    Piti is such a problem for so many reasons, but the man looks beautiful on a bike and can lay down some power. I find myself inexplicably rooting for him, like when he attacked Finger Guns on the stage Cummings won.

    So happy for MTN Quebeka – a spot in the dotty jumper and a great stage win by Cummings. Totally justified their selection.

    I’m quite in love with South Africa; if I was going to move away from Seattle it would be Cape Town. Massive props to that team for sure, although they could stand to have a prettier kit and I’d love it if they did a more classic National Champion’s jersey.

    The French have much to optimistic about – 5 riders in the top 20. I really thought Pinot was going to get all whiny and petulant after his crappy first week but came back strongly. Chapeau for that. Barguil and Bardet look very promising.

    Indeed – Pino stepped up a few rungs in my estimation – and another rider who looks beautiful on a bike. Now if he’d just switch to a team that used black shorts.

    Two Dutchmen in the top 10 – been a while there for sure.

    Fuck yeah.

    Happy too for Greipel – 4 wins for a nice guy. Going for stages rather than GC was a smart move for Lotto Soudal

  15. @wiscot

    Hinault and Guimard were a killer combo in their day. Froome and Brailsford are a killer combo right now, but the sport has changed so much in the 30+ years that separates those photos that the comparison is unfair. Froome is very good, but he’s no Hinault in any way, shape or form.

    Froome handled himself very well – the abuse from fans and media was/is unwarranted. This wasn’t his first rodeo – one tour in the bag already, a 2nd in the Vuelta in 2011 (which he should have won but didn’t as he was working for Wiggo and could/should have beaten Cobo (where’s he now FFS?), and a 2nd in the Tour in 2012 to Wiggins. So let’s recap, if CF had been given free reign over the past 4 years, we could be looking at a 3 time Tour champ and one-time Vuelta winner. He’s been tested and tested and tested and not on scintilla of impropriety.

    Yeah, Sky have good gear, but the proper cycling cap Froomie wears looks shit. They need to contact whomever does the Etixx caps.

    Finally at the end you’re making some real sense!

  16. @Barracuda

    @ChrisO

    @frank

    @ped

    @rfreese888

    Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

    Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

    Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

    Let’s end this now


    cool


    the antithesisa

    Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

    I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

    I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

    I see another guy who – putting historical comparisons aside – is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

    I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

    None of that stops me questioning some of Sky’s approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.

    I reckon Im with you on this one @ChrisO.

    Given the spanning of years its just the natural progression of things and as you said, whats not to like about black Jags, high end Pinarello’s, Rapha and those Kask lids.

    Im envious and exhausted all at the same time.

    FWIW, best looking overall team in the game.

    Oh, come the fuck on; where’s your sense of humor? I’m just saying lets have some reverence for the legends of our sport before we go making these sorts of comparisons.

    But more to the point, the contrast between the photos is hilarious. The top photo with the shirtless Guimard and a fucking thumbs-upping Hinault is just so classically rad in the most horrible way that I can’t help but love the fuck out of it.

  17. @frank @ped  Im stuck in an office 10 hours a day, my sense of humour has had a by-pass for the last few weeks.

    I assure you I’ll be back to my sarcastic self in no time.   Point taken

  18. @1860

    @nobby

    See, the thing is, my forks won’t allow the correct application of #41, so do I buy a new bike?

    Or, by NOT buying a new bike, am I in direct contravention of #12?

    Am I proper fucked either way?

    Yes I confirm you are fucked! (obvious-man at work again)….

    Aww Gawd Damn it!!!!

  19. @frank

    @Barracuda

    @ChrisO

    @frank

    @ped

    @rfreese888

    Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

    Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

    Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

    Let’s end this now


    cool


    the antithesisa

    Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

    I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

    I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

    I see another guy who – putting historical comparisons aside – is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

    I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

    None of that stops me questioning some of Sky’s approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.

    I reckon Im with you on this one @ChrisO.

    Given the spanning of years its just the natural progression of things and as you said, whats not to like about black Jags, high end Pinarello’s, Rapha and those Kask lids.

    Im envious and exhausted all at the same time.

    FWIW, best looking overall team in the game.

    Oh, come the fuck on; where’s your sense of humor? I’m just saying lets have some reverence for the legends of our sport before we go making these sorts of comparisons.

    But more to the point, the contrast between the photos is hilarious. The top photo with the shirtless Guimard and a fucking thumbs-upping Hinault is just so classically rad in the most horrible way that I can’t help but love the fuck out of it.

    Its just nice to see a picture of The Badger smiling. Im so used to seeing him mashing the cranks with a ‘Fuck The Peloton’ look on his lowered angry brow

  20. @nobby

    @frank

    @Barracuda

    @ChrisO

    @frank

    @ped

    @rfreese888

    Is Brailsford the new Guimard? How amazing would it be if he can win a TDF with a 3rd rider like G or a non brit like Landa.

    Hard to see any team beating them when they are on song now.

    Oh, for fucks sake. Guimard’s legacy is a little more extensive than Brailsford’s. I’m happy for you Brits, but lets not get carried away here.

    Let’s end this now


    cool


    the antithesisa

    Plus One badge passes to you. Spot the fuck on.

    I honestly fail to see what is so uncool about that.

    I see a guy has won his second Tour with some hard and tactical riding on a course designed to give him the least advantage.

    I see another guy who – putting historical comparisons aside – is the most successful and intelligent manager currently in cycling.

    I see stylish kit, a stylish car and good looking bikes.

    None of that stops me questioning some of Sky’s approach and PR, nor do I particularly warm to Froome but seriously, get over the bitterness guys.

    I reckon Im with you on this one @ChrisO.

    Given the spanning of years its just the natural progression of things and as you said, whats not to like about black Jags, high end Pinarello’s, Rapha and those Kask lids.

    Im envious and exhausted all at the same time.

    FWIW, best looking overall team in the game.

    Oh, come the fuck on; where’s your sense of humor? I’m just saying lets have some reverence for the legends of our sport before we go making these sorts of comparisons.

    But more to the point, the contrast between the photos is hilarious. The top photo with the shirtless Guimard and a fucking thumbs-upping Hinault is just so classically rad in the most horrible way that I can’t help but love the fuck out of it.

    Its just nice to see a picture of The Badger smiling. Im so used to seeing him mashing the cranks with a ‘Fuck The Peloton’ look on his lowered angry brow

    What’s also cool is that the Hinault/Guimard pic was taken during the Giro (in 1980 I think) as he was crushing his rivals to win his first Giro. (He’d have won the Tour too if it hadn’t been for a knee injury). It was the Giro where Hinault and Bernaudeau won the race with some fine tactical riding over the Stelvio on stage 20 that put Hinault in pink. This pic says “we have it in the bag!”

    Contrast Hinault’s arms and those of Froome. If you’re a striking worker, who are you going to be scared of getting punched by?

  21. OM-fucking-G, that gives me such a trouser tickle. Lemond’s OAKLEY’S are just everything to me.

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