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Release The Book

Release The Book

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June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Eddy Merckx will be directing one of his man-servants to the nearest bookshop for a copy.

Why an English publisher? I think the British have such a deeply entrenched sense of humor, only they thought this is insane enough to maybe be funny. An American company might never have gotten the joke. Sceptre seems to be a reputable company and yet they approached us to conjure up a book about The Rules. Obviously, the Keepers are in equal parts dumbfounded and thrilled this has happened. If someone approaches you to do something like this, something you have never done before, never considered doing, with deadlines and contracts attached, say yes. Then figure out how to do it.

How do we write a book? We divided the number of words required in the contract by the number of Rules and it came out to 666 words per Rule. That seemed about right. We never got together in a pub and argued about a mad idea like this. It shames me to say this but it was a virtual collaboration  There were endless emails, spreadsheets, skype calls, and ignored shared file folders as five disconnected people each wrote alone. A month into the writing someone let on we couldn’t be using expletives in this book. Oh for fucks sake, I’m back to zero aren’t I then?

Luckily that was a false alarm.

Artists Pedale.Forcheta and Jesse Willems offered us use of their  photographs, an act of generosity that made our work much easier. With no hyperlinks and video to fall back on, really good photography still saves the day. The Rules and Lexicon were already written by this excitable community of Cyclists, we just had to fluff it up. We are fluffers.

Due to publishing rights we don’t understand at all, The Rules is not available in the USA yet. VVVV Norton in New York has secured the US publishing rights. They too are also a seemingly upright and stalwart publisher. Maybe too upright for the likes of us but damn it, they have signed on and will be printing and releasing it in the USA in 2014. Before that happens we will have to dream up some more promotional stunts, something (like measuring sock height) that will either end up in litigation, a tazing or a shooting.

Brett has still not seen the book and Marko won’t see one for another month, unless we air drop a copy to him, in a dry bag, somewhere near Hudson Bay, Canada. I’m afraid to read it. I’ll find the glaring mistake I made and never caught. And I’m afraid to show it to my ma. I’ve disappointed her enough already in this life. But everyone else, in Britian and the Commonwealth, go out there and buy a copy or three. It could almost fit in a jersey pocket. Come on Keepers Tour 2014 and get it signed!

// The Rules // The Works

  1. I was going to get off of work early today but then I realized that my copy was shed-juh-ulled to be delivered today at my office so now I have to hang around until the mail shows up.  Bastards.

  2. I received my copy today in Florida.  It is a beauty to behold!  And just 4 days before my birthday.

  3. @Al__S

    Congratulations. I bought mine electronically, as is the way of the world.. One minor niggle- “London Guardian”. Really? There’s still them that call it by it’s old full title of “The Manchester Guardian”.

    The accepted title in satirical society is”The Grauniad”

  4. Mine shall be arriving today if all has gone well. Assuming the Royal post is as or more efficient than our Federal Mail System. One would think they would be, serving at the pleasure of the Queen and all.

  5. Just pulled this bad boy out of the mail box!

  6. Biblical.

    just bought 5 copies for my riding crew.

    massive chap-fucking-eau to you all.

  7. Totally forgot to order my copy. That has now been rectified. Can’t wait to get it!

  8. Got in from work yesterday to find my copy waiting for me. What a great evening.

  9. A superb book – as it should be.

    There are some magnificent sentences in there – may I submit an early favourite of mine that is not a rule?

    “We are inspired by past legends, but what ultimately drives us is progress: lighter stiffer equipment, more breathable clothing that is better able to deal with moisture, whether it be from our bodies or from the heavens”.

    david

  10. Got mine on the day of release. Absolutely brilliant. Is it just me or does the cover feel fantastic.

  11. @Cantose s

    Got mine on the day of release. Absolutely brilliant. Is it just me or does the cover feel fantastic.

    Yes, seems to be made from some sort of rare earth material.

  12. Morning, looking forward to receiving my copy. I can read the e-book now if I wanted, but it doesn’t seem *right*….

    What I love about publishing in the UK is that now, a version of this will be held in the British library *forever* – a sense of immortality has been achieved!  I doff my cycling cap to thee….

  13. @asyax

    SBS Fantasy Cycling Comp 2013 – Tour de France is back on again.

    http://www.sbs.com.au/cyclingcentral/home/fantasy?position=image&cid=23218

    Not sure if those outside Australia can participate in this but I’ve taken the liberty of creating a Private Competition for fellow Velominati – as an aside to the Super Prestige series.

    Private Competition Name: Velominati Oz

    Password: RuleNo5

    If you’ve done this in the past years it’s a bit of fun – create your ultimate cycling team & I’ll look forward to seeing you on the leaderboard.

    Put my team on the Velominati Oz Comp ……….   Game On ……  says the Administrator has to accept me first …..   is there some sort of weird initiation ceremony to go through or something … although I love Honey, I dont care much for goats !?!

  14. @pistard Our town was left relatively ok. Our house and the shop are well above the water line.

    The Rules will be an appropriate addition to our inventory!

  15. @Adie

    Morning, looking forward to receiving my copy. I can read the e-book now if I wanted, but it doesn’t seem *right*….

    What I love about publishing in the UK is that now, a version of this will be held in the British library *forever* – a sense of immortality has been achieved! I doff my cycling cap to thee….

    That hardly seems correct. My apologies in advance to the future generations what will have to tollerate this shit.

  16. @strathlubnaig

    @Cantose s

    Got mine on the day of release. Absolutely brilliant. Is it just me or does the cover feel fantastic.

    Yes, seems to be made from some sort of rare earth material.

    … or compound, perhaps? Probably grips v.well.

  17. OK this is just plain genius….that is Christmas presents to everyone I know sorted for this year…so that’s a total of 4 copies bought…one for myself, it does bring it home how few friends I truly have….or as I prefer to think of it….few people who are truly worthy to be in receipt of the V-ible

  18. @frank

    @Adie

    Morning, looking forward to receiving my copy. I can read the e-book now if I wanted, but it doesn’t seem *right*….

    What I love about publishing in the UK is that now, a version of this will be held in the British library *forever* – a sense of immortality has been achieved! I doff my cycling cap to thee….

    That hardly seems correct. My apologies in advance to the future generations what will have to tollerate this shit.

    Haha, that might be the case, but if they’ve understood the rules properly at least they’ll look fucking fantastic whilst they do….

  19. Strong work gents.

    My copy arrived last week via Amazon, and i’m currently working my way through it. A fair few LOL moments so far, and the book gives the opportunity for the Rules to be explored in more detail.

    Chapeau!

  20. Just received my copy of the Bible in the post – is it me or does the cover feel a bit like soft touch fi'zi:k microtex?

  21. My rule book (s) arrived here in Soretaint, Nevaduh today. All the way from the UK, via Amazon.  Worth every penny.

    Grazie, RB

  22. @crampangoslo cracking name, chapeau!

  23. Got mine in the post yesterday here in good old South Australia … when the cardboard was carefully opened of the Amazon packaging a warm glow was emitted ..  I cannot confirm nor deny whether the warm glow was from the book or the little bit of wee that came out when I realised what it was.

    Excellent sizing dimension wise of the book too guys, fits neatly in my musette that is my work carry bag, no excuses now!

  24. Evolution of Man, in cycling book terms ….

  25. @Barracuda

    I reckon a large chunk of the evolution of the book on the extreme right came from hours of flicking back and forwards through legendary mags like Winning. I still dwell on the pics when I pick one of these up.

  26. exception 'ImagickException' with message 'unable to open image `/nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati//wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/php/image.php?degrees=0&scale=yes&width=600&height=700&quality=85&maintain_aspect=yes&rounding=nearest&image=/home/frankdstrack/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/sthilzy/2013.06.25.12.25.46/1/100_6261.JPG': No such file or directory @ error/blob.c/OpenBlob/2638' in /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php:1270 Stack trace: #0 /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php(1270): Imagick->__construct('/nas/wp/www/clu...') #1 [internal function]: dm_replace_image_embeds('

    start_el('?display_element(Object(stdClass), Array, 1, 0, Array, '?@sthilzy

    @Barracuda

    I reckon a large chunk of the evolution of the book on the extreme right came from hours of flicking back and forwards through legendary mags like Winning. I still dwell on the pics when I pick one of these up.

    So that’s where all my copies of Winning went! All mine just vanished but I still have the Moser, Anderson, Roche and Kelly posters they issued. The cover of Kelly riding a mountain bike in a yellow sweatshirt puts a tiny dent in his hardman image though . . .

  27. Having a commuter buddy at Sceptre helped. I have a proof copy that’s for reading and the hardback copy that’s for show. I then got a copy for a colleague to ensure he broke no further rules when he came in to the office after a lunchtime shop with an EPMS. Rule #29. Ugh!

  28. My first selfie…

  29. @Cyclops fantastic!

  30. IT just arrived in the mail!  Fantastic hardcover, feels great and perfect timing to help me fill those lost hours between the end of one stage and the start of the next.  Thanks to the keepers for all the hard work to put this into print after all computers are only last till tomorrow but print is forever.

  31. I’m so sad.  I finished reading The Rules.  Now what?

  32. My copy has arrived.  It is a lovely little tome!

  33. @Cyclops

    I’m so sad. I finished reading The Rules. Now what?

    That’s easy. Now you get out on your bike and go put the rules into practice!

  34. Yep, it’s that time!

  35. Just picked this up from the LBS, Mapping Le Tour, the Rules still two weeks away, note the placement on the coffee table it’s natural habitat, two pages and one map per race including this year. Great photos and an excellent reference for some fast facts.

  36. @Frank shared a review of The Rules at http://www.podiumcafe.com/2013/7/30/4566958/cafe-bookshelf-do-you-live-by-the-rules in another popular social media site. I browsed through the comments at the bottom and found this:

  37. Bummer: amazon.ca just pushed out the release date of The Rules from July 30th to August 27th.

  38. exception 'ImagickException' with message 'unable to open image `/nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati//wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/php/image.php?degrees=0&scale=yes&width=600&height=700&quality=85&maintain_aspect=yes&rounding=nearest&image=/home/frankdstrack/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/Ivor Campbell/2013.07.30.20.55.08/1/centaur22.jpg': No such file or directory @ error/blob.c/OpenBlob/2638' in /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php:1270 Stack trace: #0 /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php(1270): Imagick->__construct('/nas/wp/www/clu...') #1 [internal function]: dm_replace_image_embeds('

    start_el('?display_element(Object(stdClass), Array, 1, 0, Array, '?@the Engine

    @Frank shared a review of The Rules at http://www.podiumcafe.com/2013/7/30/4566958/cafe-bookshelf-do-you-live-by-the-rules in another popular social media site. I browsed through the comments at the bottom and found this:

     

    Jeee-ZHUS!  Even the five year old girl in the lower right of the photo knows that this guy is deep in the weeds of the fringe dwelling community.  What the fuck???

  39. exception 'ImagickException' with message 'unable to open image `/nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati//wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/php/image.php?degrees=0&scale=yes&width=600&height=700&quality=85&maintain_aspect=yes&rounding=nearest&image=/home/frankdstrack/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/Ivor Campbell/2013.07.30.20.55.08/1/centaur22.jpg': No such file or directory @ error/blob.c/OpenBlob/2638' in /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php:1270 Stack trace: #0 /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php(1270): Imagick->__construct('/nas/wp/www/clu...') #1 [internal function]: dm_replace_image_embeds('

    start_el('?display_element(Object(stdClass), Array, 1, 0, Array, '?@Buck Rogers

    @the Engine

    @Frank shared a review of The Rules at http://www.podiumcafe.com/2013/7/30/4566958/cafe-bookshelf-do-you-live-by-the-rules in another popular social media site. I browsed through the comments at the bottom and found this:

    Jeee-ZHUS! Even the five year old girl in the lower right of the photo knows that this guy is deep in the weeds of the fringe dwelling community. What the fuck???

    What gets me is that looking closely at the background to this picture a number of like minded people seem to have gotten together and BUILT AN ENTIRE TOWN so that they can better dwell in their creation.

  40. exception 'ImagickException' with message 'unable to open image `/nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati//wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/php/image.php?degrees=0&scale=yes&width=600&height=700&quality=85&maintain_aspect=yes&rounding=nearest&image=/home/frankdstrack/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/Ivor Campbell/2013.07.30.20.55.08/1/centaur22.jpg': No such file or directory @ error/blob.c/OpenBlob/2638' in /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php:1270 Stack trace: #0 /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php(1270): Imagick->__construct('/nas/wp/www/clu...') #1 [internal function]: dm_replace_image_embeds('

    start_el('?display_element(Object(stdClass), Array, 1, 0, Array, '?@the Engine

    @Buck Rogers

    @the Engine

    @Frank shared a review of The Rules at http://www.podiumcafe.com/2013/7/30/4566958/cafe-bookshelf-do-you-live-by-the-rules in another popular social media site. I browsed through the comments at the bottom and found this:

    Jeee-ZHUS! Even the five year old girl in the lower right of the photo knows that this guy is deep in the weeds of the fringe dwelling community. What the fuck???

    What gets me is that looking closely at the background to this picture a number of like minded people seem to have gotten together and BUILT AN ENTIRE TOWN so that they can better dwell in their creation.

    Is that Jan Ullrich?

  41. exception 'ImagickException' with message 'unable to open image `/nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati//wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/php/image.php?degrees=0&scale=yes&width=600&height=700&quality=85&maintain_aspect=yes&rounding=nearest&image=/home/frankdstrack/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/Ivor Campbell/2013.07.30.20.55.08/1/centaur22.jpg': No such file or directory @ error/blob.c/OpenBlob/2638' in /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php:1270 Stack trace: #0 /nas/wp/www/cluster-40013/velominati/wp-content/themes/velominati/generics.php(1270): Imagick->__construct('/nas/wp/www/clu...') #1 [internal function]: dm_replace_image_embeds('

    start_el('?display_element(Object(stdClass), Array, 1, 0, Array, '?@wiscot

    @the Engine

    @Buck Rogers

    @the Engine

    @Frank shared a review of The Rules at http://www.podiumcafe.com/2013/7/30/4566958/cafe-bookshelf-do-you-live-by-the-rules in another popular social media site. I browsed through the comments at the bottom and found this:

     

     

    Jeee-ZHUS! Even the five year old girl in the lower right of the photo knows that this guy is deep in the weeds of the fringe dwelling community. What the fuck???

    What gets me is that looking closely at the background to this picture a number of like minded people seem to have gotten together and BUILT AN ENTIRE TOWN so that they can better dwell in their creation.

    Is that Jan Ullrich?

    Ha!  Coke zero all over the keyboard on that one!  Well played!

  42. @the Engine

    What gets me is that looking closely at the background to this picture a number of like minded people seem to have gotten together and BUILT AN ENTIRE TOWN so that they can better dwell in their creation.

    You have stumbled across the Texas Renaissance Festival grounds.  It has grown over the years to a permanent dwelling of anachronisms.

    images of yearly festival

  43. @wiscot

    @wiscot

    @the Engine

     

     

    Is that Jan Ullrich?

    Or perhaps Marcus after that x-ray that he posted???

  44. @itburns

    @the Engine

    What gets me is that looking closely at the background to this picture a number of like minded people seem to have gotten together and BUILT AN ENTIRE TOWN so that they can better dwell in their creation.

    You have stumbled across the Texas Renaissance Festival grounds. It has grown over the years to a permanent dwelling of anachronisms.

    images of yearly festival

    Sights like that can’t be easily unseen – don’t under any circumstances follow the link.

    I did follow it and will now have to take a few days off work – I was particularly disturbed by “Jan’s” leather clad female friend – they appear to be quite close.

  45. My copy of the scared text arrived last night.  On first perusal, to use an analogy that will not be understood here, it is a home run. 

    Maybe I should rephrase that and call it a Grand Tour All Day Solo Breakaway Mountain Stage win.  Just awesome!

  46. @Buck Rogers

    My copy of the scared text arrived last night. On first perusal, to use an analogy that will not be understood here, it is a home run.

    Maybe I should rephrase that and call it a Grand Tour All Day Solo Breakaway Mountain Stage win. Just awesome!

    Who scared it?

  47. @Mike_P

    @Buck Rogers

    My copy of the scared text arrived last night. On first perusal, to use an analogy that will not be understood here, it is a home run.

    Maybe I should rephrase that and call it a Grand Tour All Day Solo Breakaway Mountain Stage win. Just awesome!

    Who scared it?

    HA!  Could not figure out what the fuck you were talking about there for a moment!  Got to love fat fingers on the keyboard!

  48. Got my copy today as a surprise from the VMH.

  49. Page 52-53, Rules #77 and #81. Same description for both for everyone?

  50. The request was sent to Santa a while ago so I hope to receive my copy tomorrow morning!!

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