June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Eddy Merckx will be directing one of his man-servants to the nearest bookshop for a copy.
Why an English publisher? I think the British have such a deeply entrenched sense of humor, only they thought this is insane enough to maybe be funny. An American company might never have gotten the joke. Sceptre seems to be a reputable company and yet they approached us to conjure up a book about The Rules. Obviously, the Keepers are in equal parts dumbfounded and thrilled this has happened. If someone approaches you to do something like this, something you have never done before, never considered doing, with deadlines and contracts attached, say yes. Then figure out how to do it.
How do we write a book? We divided the number of words required in the contract by the number of Rules and it came out to 666 words per Rule. That seemed about right. We never got together in a pub and argued about a mad idea like this. It shames me to say this but it was a virtual collaboration There were endless emails, spreadsheets, skype calls, and ignored shared file folders as five disconnected people each wrote alone. A month into the writing someone let on we couldn’t be using expletives in this book. Oh for fucks sake, I’m back to zero aren’t I then?
Luckily that was a false alarm.
Artists Pedale.Forcheta and Jesse Willems offered us use of their photographs, an act of generosity that made our work much easier. With no hyperlinks and video to fall back on, really good photography still saves the day. The Rules and Lexicon were already written by this excitable community of Cyclists, we just had to fluff it up. We are fluffers.
Due to publishing rights we don’t understand at all, The Rules is not available in the USA yet. VVVV Norton in New York has secured the US publishing rights. They too are also a seemingly upright and stalwart publisher. Maybe too upright for the likes of us but damn it, they have signed on and will be printing and releasing it in the USA in 2014. Before that happens we will have to dream up some more promotional stunts, something (like measuring sock height) that will either end up in litigation, a tazing or a shooting.
Brett has still not seen the book and Marko won’t see one for another month, unless we air drop a copy to him, in a dry bag, somewhere near Hudson Bay, Canada. I’m afraid to read it. I’ll find the glaring mistake I made and never caught. And I’m afraid to show it to my ma. I’ve disappointed her enough already in this life. But everyone else, in Britian and the Commonwealth, go out there and buy a copy or three. It could almost fit in a jersey pocket. Come on Keepers Tour 2014 and get it signed!