The Hardmen: Cover Art.

The Hardmen: Legends of the Cycling Gods

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Today’s a big deal over here at VHQ; V-Pints are being clinked and backs are being slapped in celebration of our second book, The Hardmen, being released in the UK and Commonwealth countries today, June 1. (It is due out in the United States in the Fall as well as The Netherlands and Belgium in Spring 2018.)

I have a new appreciation for what a band might go through when faced with putting out their sophomore effort (which in our case was something of a sophomoronic effort). While I would never put forward the idea that writing our first book, The Rules, was in any way “easy”, its writing was one unencumbered by the notion that anyone might actually read it. The pressure of expectation for our second book might well have been something we placed on ourselves, but the pressure felt very real nonetheless. The irony did not go unnoticed that we had to harden the fuck up and focus on the business of writing the best book we could manage, given the book was centered around the general notion of Rule #5.

The Hardmen is just that: the tales of the most epic rides and riders in history, or at least in our collective recollection. We wrote it in the style you’ve become familiar with, (ir)reverently with a focus more on legend than on fact, and avoiding research wherever possible for the simple fact that research feels a lot like cheating. Our inclination to make words up also proved an interesting challenge for our copyeditor.

Of the variety of obstacles we encountered along the way, that of selecting the riders to include in the book figured prominently; there are so many worth including that we could hardly set about including them all. So we picked at our whim and whimsy, and we welcome you to challenge us on both our inclusions and omissions.

With that, I will retire to the patio and indulge in more celebratory pints but not before leaving you with this very flattering and possibly unjustified review on the Washing Machine Post.

Thanks to everyone here for your support as our writing slacked off over the past year while we labored to get this book done. We owe you each a debt of gratitude and look forward to enjoying your company online and back out on the roads. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

// V-Announcements

  1. It has been far too long since I’ve lurked around the site but this announcement has woken me from my slumber. The order went in yesterday, and I am informed that it shipped today. Even though the local atheneum emporium stated it would be unavailable until well past Il Lombardia I exercised my membership in the Commonwealth to procure a copy. Being Canadian does, at times, have its advantages.

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  2. But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

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  3. @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

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  4. @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

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  5. @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

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  6. @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

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  7. @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    It’s OK. I’ve confirmed we can eat beef jerky in the saddle. See?

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  8. @Teocalli

    @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

    I’m calling His Nibs, Campa shaped hoods, but with a curved bar top, which rules out the Movistar Canyons.

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  9. @Mikael Liddy

    @Teocalli

    @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

    I’m calling His Nibs, Campa shaped hoods, but with a curved bar top, which rules out the Movistar Canyons.

    And the wheelset as well? Deep section with possibly bladed spokes??? And hopefully me eyes deceive me but it looks like a sloped top tube? Maybe for the last few years a few (rare few) Hardmen rode such abominations but Coppi/Merckx/RDV/Kelly/LeMan/Hampsten, etc sure as hell didn’t. Come on, Velominati–there is still time to fire the cover designer and get a right proper one for the US release, right???

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  10. @litvi

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    It’s OK. I’ve confirmed we can eat beef jerky in the saddle. See?

    I have occasionally taken beef jerky on rides. It is great protein, which I like to pack because my stomach doesn’t react well to all carbs and gels. As far as I know there are no rules against this.

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  11. @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    … but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Perhaps it’s a disc brake caliper. C-Record, by the look of it, just like what Merckx used for the 1972 hour record in Mexico City.

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  12. I’m going with Spartacus on the cover.

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  13. @MangoDave

    @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    … but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Perhaps it’s a disc brake caliper. C-Record, by the look of it, just like what Merckx used for the 1972 hour record in Mexico City.

    Nice.

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  14. It’s Kittel in last year’s Giro. Duh.

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  15. @Teocalli Track bikes have no derailleurs nor brakes.

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  16. @KogaLover

    @Teocalli Track bikes have no derailleurs nor brakes.

    Ha – wouldn’t sort you fitting one per the methods before D Mounts were built in…..you could even then just about fit it on the wrong side. Brakes only slow you down……….

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  17. Anyone caught the Hammer Series events over the last few days? Interesting to see some new formats and coverage on the web from people like GCN. The final event, a TTT, literally came down to a sprint finish between Sky and Sunweb… in fact a sprint between their fourth riders. And behind them 6 other teams were all riding in a bunch on TT bikes – insane. Maybe it needs some tweaks but I hope it continues from a sporting as well as a politcal point of view, with teams more in control not ASO or UCI.

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  18. @ChrisO

    Anyone caught the Hammer Series events over the last few days? Interesting to see some new formats and coverage on the web from people like GCN. The final event, a TTT, literally came down to a sprint finish between Sky and Sunweb… in fact a sprint between their fourth riders. And behind them 6 other teams were all riding in a bunch on TT bikes – insane. Maybe it needs some tweaks but I hope it continues from a sporting as well as a politcal point of view, with teams more in control not ASO or UCI.

    The Hammer Series was an absolute hoot to watch. Today’s TTT was very exciting even if one was not rooting for either team. Seeing the judges trying to keep the six teams that were riding together from drafting on narrow roads was comical. I also enjoyed watching the GCN commentary, good job by the guys.

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  19. @litvi et el

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    As I was writing this, I was going to remark on the non-black bibs…but didn’t. Can’t remember who the rider is but I think it might be Nibbles. The shorts are orange indeed but it has to do with the graphical composition to the cover more than anything.* *Apparently authors don’t get to be as controlling over graphics on the books as they do on their own websites.

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  20. Done. ordered.

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  21. this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

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  22. @Rick

    @ChrisO

    Anyone caught the Hammer Series events over the last few days? Interesting to see some new formats and coverage on the web from people like GCN. The final event, a TTT, literally came down to a sprint finish between Sky and Sunweb… in fact a sprint between their fourth riders. And behind them 6 other teams were all riding in a bunch on TT bikes – insane. Maybe it needs some tweaks but I hope it continues from a sporting as well as a politcal point of view, with teams more in control not ASO or UCI.

    The Hammer Series was an absolute hoot to watch. Today’s TTT was very exciting even if one was not rooting for either team. Seeing the judges trying to keep the six teams that were riding together from drafting on narrow roads was comical. I also enjoyed watching the GCN commentary, good job by the guys.

    Now ya tell me! I completely didn’t bother tuning in. Sounds like I missed a good show!

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  23. And, congratulations on the book! Must feel awesome to get a second one under ye belts. Good job, Keepers!

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  24. @Ron

    @Rick

    @ChrisO

    Anyone caught the Hammer Series events over the last few days? Interesting to see some new formats and coverage on the web from people like GCN. The final event, a TTT, literally came down to a sprint finish between Sky and Sunweb… in fact a sprint between their fourth riders. And behind them 6 other teams were all riding in a bunch on TT bikes – insane. Maybe it needs some tweaks but I hope it continues from a sporting as well as a politcal point of view, with teams more in control not ASO or UCI.

    The Hammer Series was an absolute hoot to watch. Today’s TTT was very exciting even if one was not rooting for either team. Seeing the judges trying to keep the six teams that were riding together from drafting on narrow roads was comical. I also enjoyed watching the GCN commentary, good job by the guys.

    Now ya tell me! I completely didn’t bother tuning in. Sounds like I missed a good show!

    https://youtu.be/qkF0wd1hQZg

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  25. @frank

    @litvi et el

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    As I was writing this, I was going to remark on the non-black bibs…but didn’t. Can’t remember who the rider is but I think it might be Nibbles. The shorts are orange indeed but it has to do with the graphical composition to the cover more than anything.* *Apparently authors don’t get to be as controlling over graphics on the books as they do on their own websites.

    Nailed it…

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  26. I was delighted to pick up my copy from my local bookshop here in the north of England today, if a little disappointed to discover I didn’t merit my own chapter; did you not hear about my 5 hour snowbound schlepp across the north Yorkshire moors back in 2013? I’m always happy to give a blow by blow account if you’re curious?

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  27. @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    Now THAT is a FUCKING Spot On cover!!!

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  28. @Buck Rogers

    @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    Now THAT is a FUCKING Spot On cover!!!

    yeah i really like it. this era of cycling is what made me a fan for life. Lemond, Fignon, Hinault, in particular. they elevated cycling to pure ART. this book doesn’t come out until the fall here in the states, but i’ll be right at the front of the line when it does.

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  29. @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    That’s the US cover…or at least a draft of it. Ironically, none of those guys actually made the book.

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  30. @frank

    @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    That’s the US cover…or at least a draft of it. Ironically, none of those guys actually made the book.

    NO SPOILERS!!

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  31. Chapeau! Another most enjoyable book. Since I am more of a pedant than a Hardman, my contribution would have to be to point out the typo in the Robbie McEwen story: the reference to the Tour first stage should surely be to 2007 and not 1997 (p 185).

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  32. @Cary

    @frank

    @Cary

    NO SPOILERS!!

    This will keep you wondering… According to books.google.com the US version looks like this:

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  33. however it turns up, i can’t wait to read it

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  34. @Pete Linsley

    I was delighted to pick up my copy from my local bookshop here in the north of England today, if a little disappointed to discover I didn’t merit my own chapter; did you not hear about my 5 hour snowbound schlepp across the north Yorkshire moors back in 2013? I’m always happy to give a blow by blow account if you’re curious?

    Is this your first post? If so, chapeau.

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  35. @frank

    @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    That’s the US cover…or at least a draft of it. Ironically, none of those guys actually made the book.

    WTF? No Fignon?!

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  36. @Pete Linsley

    I was delighted to pick up my copy from my local bookshop here in the north of England today, if a little disappointed to discover I didn’t merit my own chapter; did you not hear about my 5 hour snowbound schlepp across the north Yorkshire moors back in 2013? I’m always happy to give a blow by blow account if you’re curious?

    Reminds me of the story of some chap who got stuck up there in a car one winter, when asked how he survived he said something like “Well I was stuck in the car when this chap appeared across the moors on a pair of skis, he gave me a sandwich and a thermos of tea and disappeared back the way he came”……wasn’t you by any chance?

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  37. @RobSandy

    @frank

    @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    That’s the US cover…or at least a draft of it. Ironically, none of those guys actually made the book.

    WTF? No Fignon?!

    And was Delgado late AGAIN, so he did not make it into the book? And what about the originator of Rule #VV who also wrote the foreword of the previous Keepers’ book?

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  38. @RobSandy

    oh yes

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  39. @RobSandy

    @frank

    @Cary

    this is the cover as it appears on Amazon. Fignon, Delgado, Lemond. pretty outstanding.

    That’s the US cover…or at least a draft of it. Ironically, none of those guys actually made the book.

    WTF? No Fignon?!

    And no LeMan?!?!?!?!?!? (maybe he and Le Professeur are getting their own book solely dedicated to them???)

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  40. @litvi

    @Cary

    @frank

    @Cary

    NO SPOILERS!!

    This will keep you wondering… According to books.google.com the US version looks like this:

    This cannot be correct as this photo has STI/brake lever shifters and no way you could have that on the cover of a Hardman book.

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  41. @Buck Rogers

    @litvi

    @Cary

    @frank

    @Cary

    NO SPOILERS!!

    This will keep you wondering… According to books.google.com the US version looks like this:

    This cannot be correct as this photo has STI/brake lever shifters and no way you could have that on the cover of a Hardman book.

    Nah man, that’s Campy 10S Powershift. Exactly how much of that Marnier did you drink??? You’re going blind!

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  42. @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @litvi

    @Cary

    @frank

    @Cary

    NO SPOILERS!!

    This will keep you wondering… According to books.google.com the US version looks like this:

    This cannot be correct as this photo has STI/brake lever shifters and no way you could have that on the cover of a Hardman book.

    Nah man, that’s Campy 10S Powershift. Exactly how much of that Marnier did you drink??? You’re going blind!

    Well fer fuck’s sake, they are not down tube shifters so my point is still valid (and obviously it is time for a refill)!!!

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  43. Just got word The Hardmen will be translated into Dutch and released in The Netherlands/Belgium in time for the Classics. Now, THAT’S hard.

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  44. By the way, I forgot about this little gem we added to The Rules in the book – now added to this little album. Take that.

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  45. @frank

    By the way, I forgot about this little gem we added to The Rules in the book – now added to this little album. Take that.

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    Ha! Talk about covering all yer bases! Well done!

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  46. I asked @frank the following :- ” Has it got the glorious leathery velvety cover feel of the first edition ” Rules ” book ?? ” and was greeted by this reply ” Actually it does. A surprise ending, because I expected a dust jacket – which I didn’t want…” So, on the basis of the cover feel alone, I will be purchasing.

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  47. Have to include johan museeuw. He was a crusher on the Cobbled classics, winning Paris-roubaix three times and the tour ofFlanders three times.

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  48. I’ve got mine through Amazon UK–couldn’t wait for the US version. I also like the TdF jaune UK cover. My review of the book so far (having read Sean Yates)–fucking awesome.

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  49. @tmgrasso

    I’ve got mine through Amazon UK–couldn’t wait for the US version. I also like the TdF jaune UK cover. My review of the book so far (having read Sean Yates)–fucking awesome.

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    Can’t wait to read that Yates chapter. The guy just oozes hard core vibe. I was in the press lounge after the ’97 Paris-Roubaix and I saw him across the room. He glanced over in my direction and the look on his face was pure “dude, don’t even come over here.” You could tell it was killing him inside to be behind the scenes and not out on the velodrome that day. And what a day. Guesdon came out of nowhere. Everyone in the parc was like “what the fuck just happened?”

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  50. @litvi

    @tmgrasso

    I’ve got mine through Amazon UK–couldn’t wait for the US version. I also like the TdF jaune UK cover. My review of the book so far (having read Sean Yates)–fucking awesome.

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    Can’t wait to read that Yates chapter. The guy just oozes hard core vibe. I was in the press lounge after the ’97 Paris-Roubaix and I saw him across the room. He glanced over in my direction and the look on his face was pure “dude, don’t even come over here.” You could tell it was killing him inside to be behind the scenes and not out on the velodrome that day. And what a day. Guesdon came out of nowhere. Everyone in the parc was like “what the fuck just happened?”

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    Yates is a legend. I think part of being a Velominatus is not wanting to be the skinny guy in yellow with his arms in the air, you want to be the guy who has put the whole bunch in the hurt all day chasing down the break or stopping everyone else attacking. We all want to be Yates.

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