The Hardmen: Cover Art.

The Hardmen: Legends of the Cycling Gods

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Today’s a big deal over here at VHQ; V-Pints are being clinked and backs are being slapped in celebration of our second book, The Hardmen, being released in the UK and Commonwealth countries today, June 1. (It is due out in the United States in the Fall as well as The Netherlands and Belgium in Spring 2018.)

I have a new appreciation for what a band might go through when faced with putting out their sophomore effort (which in our case was something of a sophomoronic effort). While I would never put forward the idea that writing our first book, The Rules, was in any way “easy”, its writing was one unencumbered by the notion that anyone might actually read it. The pressure of expectation for our second book might well have been something we placed on ourselves, but the pressure felt very real nonetheless. The irony did not go unnoticed that we had to harden the fuck up and focus on the business of writing the best book we could manage, given the book was centered around the general notion of Rule #5.

The Hardmen is just that: the tales of the most epic rides and riders in history, or at least in our collective recollection. We wrote it in the style you’ve become familiar with, (ir)reverently with a focus more on legend than on fact, and avoiding research wherever possible for the simple fact that research feels a lot like cheating. Our inclination to make words up also proved an interesting challenge for our copyeditor.

Of the variety of obstacles we encountered along the way, that of selecting the riders to include in the book figured prominently; there are so many worth including that we could hardly set about including them all. So we picked at our whim and whimsy, and we welcome you to challenge us on both our inclusions and omissions.

With that, I will retire to the patio and indulge in more celebratory pints but not before leaving you with this very flattering and possibly unjustified review on the Washing Machine Post.

Thanks to everyone here for your support as our writing slacked off over the past year while we labored to get this book done. We owe you each a debt of gratitude and look forward to enjoying your company online and back out on the roads. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

// V-Announcements

  1. Congratulations. Just ordered mine.




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  2. What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?




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  3. @MangoDave

    What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?

    Exactly. Perhaps we can take solace in the up coming book about soccer players (non-American Football to the rest of you) The Pussies: flopping legends.




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  4. Can’t wait and congrats to ye all. I’d be challenged to think that you cannot order it online and have it sent to outside-common-poverty-regions. I saw various sites where you should be able to order it from.

    Just occurred: you know the Big Mac index, which is an alternative way to compare foreign exchange rates? Well, there’s a new Fx-converter in the making….




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  5. As I said, can’t wait. Just ordered it. Shipping to Switzerland.




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  6. @MangoDave

    What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?

    It’s coming out in the Fall here because @frank is a jackass. Albeit a funny jackass.




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  7. @litvi

    @MangoDave

    What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?

    It’s coming out in the Fall here because @frank is a jackass. Albeit a funny jackass.

    Or have one of us in EU ship you a copy?




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  8. @Ccos

    @MangoDave

    What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?

    Exactly. Perhaps we can take solace in the up coming book about soccer players (non-American Football to the rest of you) The Pussies: flopping legends.

    +1




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  9. @Teocalli

    @litvi

    @MangoDave

    What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?

    It’s coming out in the Fall here because @frank is a jackass. Albeit a funny jackass.

    Or have one of us in EU ship you a copy?

    Better get your skates on while we’re still in it!

    Or vote Lib Dem.




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  10. Very cruel to force your own countrymen to endure such a wait. Aren’t we suffering enough with the current group of clowns at the wheel, and now you foist this delay on us?! This might have proven to be a spark of hope, a beacon in a treacherous landscape, a ray of light that inspires a weary country.

    Or, it might just be something that sits on my nightstand through the winter. Time will tell.




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  11. @Ccos

    @MangoDave

    What the hell?!? How am I supposed to wait until the Fall?

    Exactly. Perhaps we can take solace in the up coming book about soccer players (non-American Football to the rest of you) The Pussies: flopping legends.

    Really! I mean … WTF? FFS!




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  12. WTF?! The V-Bunker has a patio? You lot are going soft.




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  13. Congrats on the good timing! Finished just in time for the decent weather here in the NW.




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  14. Mine is ordered and on its way.

    Just one more reason that all true Velominati should live in Europe!




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  15. It has been far too long since I’ve lurked around the site but this announcement has woken me from my slumber. The order went in yesterday, and I am informed that it shipped today.

    Even though the local atheneum emporium stated it would be unavailable until well past Il Lombardia I exercised my membership in the Commonwealth to procure a copy. Being Canadian does, at times, have its advantages.




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  16. But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???




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  17. @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?




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  18. @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???




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  19. @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.




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  20. @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.




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  21. @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    It’s OK. I’ve confirmed we can eat beef jerky in the saddle. See?




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  22. @Teocalli

    @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

    I’m calling His Nibs, Campa shaped hoods, but with a curved bar top, which rules out the Movistar Canyons.




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  23. @Mikael Liddy

    @Teocalli

    @litvi

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    Thanks, Mate for weighing in with me! We’ll have fun in the penalty box together while we are banned from the site, eh???

    I think it’s an orange kit, but that still doesn’t excuse the Rule #14 and Rule #15 violations. Now, to your tastiest point, I don’t think there’s a rule against carrying beef jerky… but there had probably ought to be one against mounting the rear derailleur on the left side of a bike.

    Damn good spot! Must be one of those US track bikes with the left hand drive converted for road use.

    I’m calling His Nibs, Campa shaped hoods, but with a curved bar top, which rules out the Movistar Canyons.

    And the wheelset as well? Deep section with possibly bladed spokes??? And hopefully me eyes deceive me but it looks like a sloped top tube? Maybe for the last few years a few (rare few) Hardmen rode such abominations but Coppi/Merckx/RDV/Kelly/LeMan/Hampsten, etc sure as hell didn’t.

    Come on, Velominati–there is still time to fire the cover designer and get a right proper one for the US release, right???




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  24. @litvi

    @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    But I have to say, what the fuck is up wth the cover??? If you are going to have a silhouette with the maglia rosa, jesus fucking christ, don’t make it a full body suit, eh? Who is that silhouette anyways, Cipollini???

    I’m going nuts trying to figure out who the silhouette is of! It might be Cipo. My question is: why does he have a stick of beef jerky in his right hand?

    It’s OK. I’ve confirmed we can eat beef jerky in the saddle. See?

    I have occasionally taken beef jerky on rides. It is great protein, which I like to pack because my stomach doesn’t react well to all carbs and gels. As far as I know there are no rules against this.




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