Reverence: Baxter Aftershave


Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at a minimum.

Not only does it have a pleasant smell and refreshing feeling, it opens the pores after a good, close shave to help moisturize and revitalize, leaving  your skin clean and smooth with no bumps or rash.  Just the other day, a neighbor remarked that my shave was magnificently smooth and close.  I couldn’t have done it without Baxter.

Oh, and before you start thinking I’m some kind of sissy, know this: I never use this shit on my face.  No sir, the good stuff is for the legs only.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Damn it Frank, publish my manifesto. My credibility as a founder of Rule 5 Fundamentalism is really suffering here.

  • I wager Brett is the one who recommended Baxter to frank, although I may be wrong.

  • Thinking about this, Frank does have more cajones than most, I think other men (myself included) would have a squeamish hesitation about broadcasting these intimate details or he is just more in touch with his feminine side?

    But Frank if I go back to shaving (and since my peaking schedule has been successful and the guns are looking like Big Bertha- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Bertha_(howitzer) - with an awesome tan line I am toying with the idea) thanks for the tip, it sounds like great stuff.

  • @david
    We've kind of been here before, but how can you recoil in horror at Bazters worship while not have an at least equally violent reaction to Coors Light? Or is that the reason for the choke? (And, speaking of choking, anyone want to lay odds on "Chokingdoush" as an addition to the Lexicon by the time we reach the Champs Elysee ... ?)

  • @Geof Good Lord, geof, it's hard for me to understand that. Coors Light: easy to drink, clean, crisp, cheap, and unpretentious. How's that related to a grown man using some high-end embrocation after shaving his legs? I don't see it.

    I'll stick by my pick of Mark Cavendish for the Green. It's not hard. He's the best sprinter out there, and he's been working hard to become a green jersey rider. He may not win it, but he certainly won't choke. Manx Missile, all the way!! "Speed talks."

  • I don't use Baxter, nor am I one.

    After I've shaved my balls with a cut-throat razor, I slap on a handful of Pedros Syn Lube to get that sheen that the ladies love...

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