Anatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMelvis and Tom Ritchey

Q'est que c'est le Fuck?

Brett’s article on the the 1995 Worlds set the standard of quality in our fledgling Anatomy of  a Photo series. The great tale he had to tell of watching it from Spain, the artifacts of mid-90’s racing such as the neon colors and handlebar attachments, to say nothing of the identification of Oliviero Rincon (who, I believe may have accomplished more in his career falling off his bike than winning races).

I’m following up on his analytical and articulate piece by submitting a photo that that does little more than make me giggle like a school girl.  This puppy could double as a groundbreaker in the Breaking the Rules series, given all the violations I’m seeing even at a first glance.  Quite frankly, I’m not sure what to say that this image doesn’t already communicate in spades.

We have LeMelvis, seemingly not in any way on the same page as American Cycling Icon Tom Ritchey.  He seems to be begging for Tom’s attention like a child tugging at his mother’s skirt. Tom seems to hardly notice the three-time Tour winner and is apparently intent on capturing him in this humiliating state.  Not that Greg needs help in that department, seems a proper genius at it, in fact.

Then we have the fact that LeMond is riding in a longsleeve jersey, and Tom has seen fit to (shoddily) cut the sleeves off his jersey altogether.  Seems to be bit of a difference betwixt the two in sense of temperature comfort zones, or perhaps a more coordinated evaluation of the outside temperature pre-ride would have been suitable.

In any case, this photo deserves a place in this series, and what better time than a Friday afternoon to stare at a computer screen and make fun of some people who have accomplished loads in their careers.  I prescribe heavy helpings of The V to both of them.

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76 Replies to “Anatomy of a Photo: Greg LeMelvis and Tom Ritchey”

  1. For a man five years older than Greg, Tom’s hair is remarkably less ravaged with grey. Greg’s thinking “that hair is doped, mine’s the real deal”…

  2. Brett :For a man five years older than Greg, Tom’s hair is remarkably less ravaged with grey. Greg’s thinking “that hair is doped, mine’s the real deal”…

    Ha, that’s funny. Tom’s hair is totally on the sauce.

  3. That’s be a serious ‘stache, too. I bet there’s doping going on there, too. LeMelvis is gonna complain about that one.

    Where does Ritchey live? He looks way ‘Vegas.

  4. Really, this is a great study in comparison and contrast. Both in Assos jerseys, one long sleeved, prim and proper, the other w/the sleeves jacked off of it cause the lone wolf doesn’t need’m. Now which one are you going to jack with now??

    I also see Lemond, scrapping to hang on, a little short of breath as he mentions to Tom ‘yeah, he said that, then I said….’ Tom says ‘this is who I dropped today on my ride’….snap, then Tom, never says a word and just rides off.

  5. I also see Lemond, scrapping to hang on, a little short of breath as he mentions to Tom ‘yeah, he said that, then I said….’ Tom says ‘this is who I dropped today on my ride’….snap, then Tom, never says a word and just rides off.

    I had two different people come into my office to ask me what I was chuckling about.

  6. @frank I am amazed by how much of the Great Work you get accomplished in the office…love it!

    Oh, God..that’s a great photo. But I feel guilty, almost, laughing as I do. Greg – I don’t know what to say. A tragic hero with this kind of unique naivete. I think what i appreciate about Greg, as opposed to The Robots, is that, even when he’s making an ass out of himself, he’s just being real. Sometimes it’s painful to witness, frankly. Sometimes I get where he’s coming from. It’s messy. I love taking photos out of context and musing about them. Perhaps, Frank, we should have an “anatomy of a photo caption contest”? This one has great potential. And yes, I have no idea what the hell is going on with Ritchey’s cut-off jersey sleeves…I don’t think this is an example of transcending the rules.

  7. There is something about this photo. I feel hauntingly taunted by it. It stays with you. I’m not sure I’ll sleep well tonight…

  8. @KitCarson

    I am amazed by how much of the Great Work you get accomplished in the office…love it!

    Ah…the magic of being the first to arrive to the conference call and having a minute to burn…

    This photo does stick with you…it is tragic. Ritchey’s open jersey and ‘stache make him look more like a misplaced Harley dude than a Cycling Legend. Indeed, poor ol’ LeMelvis…Such a hero.

    Damnit. Now I’m depressed.

  9. LeMelvis: hey, Tom…Rule #51 sure is funny….right Tom? hmm? Boy, those guys got that right…Livestrong…cockrings…who uses them things….right Tom?? Lance probably does….jese…but who uses them TOM?? Tom? Have you ever used them Tom?? I haven’t…Tom.

    Tom: chuckle….snap….pic

  10. Um, do we even know if they’re riding bikes? Because that’s pretty important to establish; otherwise their posture raises questions. LemonD the John McEnroe of the cycling world?

  11. @Marko
    It’s all about that sweet ‘stash. He looks like Freddy Mercury.
    freddy
    And Lemond…I don’t even know what to say about that head. It looks fake.

  12. My image posting is pathetic. Grover from Sesame St. is a dead ringer for Greg in that photo.

  13. @Souleur
    You are fucking killing me here with these Gregisms. You are so nailing what it looks like he’s doing here. There is NO V going on there.

    All you guys…I’ve been off galavanting all day, come back and get an eyeful of genius work. Too much, and I apparently need a full more pulls from the V-Chalice to get clever.

    WORKING ON IT.

  14. @john
    Freddy Mercury, without a doubt and not “arguably”, is the best frontman in rock and roll history (although he may have actually been a bottom). That dude could fuckin’ rock.

  15. @Marko
    ONE, TOOTH, BUCK TOOTH, SUCK O’CLOCK ROCK! That guy was a massive douche. Grover is a better frontman than Freddy MerK.

    I give you Robert Plant, the 1985-1988 editions of Axl Rose, and Zack de la Rocha.

  16. How come it won’t post my pictures even though I’m logged in it shows the image link/html code before I submit the post?

    Anyway…

  17. @Cyclops
    Try removing pop-up blocker. If that doesn’t work, cut and paste a link and a Keeper can upload the image for you. Sorry for the hassle.

    And, no, I don’t think Freddy Mercury was the best frontman of all time. I post that shit on blogs from time to time to get flame wars going and stir up the homophobia. Works every time.

    Without a doubt, it was Steve Perry from Journey.

  18. i have had the same prob cyclops, not sure what i did wrong but couldn’t upload anything but a bunch of letters in a apocalyptic configuration

  19. @Cyclops

    @Souleur

    Now, now, children.

    Hey guys – you both have my email address, so go over to this web page, and paste the contents of it into an email to me; I’ll see what I can do. This will tell me what browser you’re using etc, and I can use that to troubleshoot the problem. Oddly enough, Troll Noise isn’t a very helpful debugging tool.

    Technology: it makes us 100% more efficient and creates 200% more work.

    http://filemanager.dutchmonkey.com/browser.php

  20. A little trivia: What famous U.K. bike shop did they rent all the bikes in the Queen video from?

    Hint: think Nicole Cooke

  21. @Cyclops
    Thank you for edging things back to being on topic. For a moent there I thought I had mistakenly gotten onto some Twitfacesterspace music blog.

  22. Cyclops :A little trivia: What famous U.K. bike shop did they rent all the bikes in the Queen video from?
    Hint: think Nicole Cooke

    Umm, Minger Cycles?

  23. @Steampunk
    I love Midnight Oil, and Peter Garrett with his Joe Cocker-esque spasms. The guy is just cool. I thought since he’s like the grand minister of the outside or something now in Australia and a big greenie like me I might find him pictured on a bike. The first page of google images didn’t come up with anything though.

    Any Aussie’s down there have any opinions on the guy? Cuz from up here he seems pretty awesome.

  24. @Marko
    I shall forgive your ignorance due to the tyranny of distance. Garrett – whilst not bad fun as a musician – has been an absolute fuck-up as a politician.

    The Greenies down here were expecting a lot of him (even if he is a Labor man), but he has made mistake after mistake and let party politics get in the way of him doing anything meaningful. His biggest mistake was an ill-fated housing insulation scheme that was rorted by dodgey tradesmen and resulted in a number of deaths.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/02/11/2816296.htm

    We are looking at the prospect of a hung parliament right now and with any luck this monkey will end up in the backbenches where he belongs. Yet another “celebrity politician” who has been a failure with Ronny Reagan being the notable exception!

  25. @Marcus
    I might not agree with you (entirely) on Marko’s shoes, but I’m with you on this. In their day, MO were a great live band – in large part because PG was a hoot on stage. But even then you got a sense it was all a bit of an act tinged with more than a hint of insincerity. Then I saw him talk to a bunch of students when I was at university and I remember thinking that he didn’t do anything wrong but it was all a bit of an act tinged with more than a hint of insincerity. Then he entered politics and it all made sense. That said, it is a shame to see him making such a total hash of it – not becuse I care about the Australian body politic, or because I worry about the fate of the inhabitants of Australians generally, but because I don’t want him to chuck it in and start touring again in one of those “old bastards fresh out of ideas but keen to grab some mega-dosh pretending to still be the rebels they once thought they were” tours.

  26. @G’phant
    Oh fuck – what am I doing? This is supposed to be All About The Bike, not a little bit about Peter Garrett. Sorry, folks. Quick, a cycling topic someone. Er … anyone wanna guess what the Grimplets’ new team will be called?

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