Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: The Four Pillars of Awesome

The mighty pillars

Whenever I send out an Out of Office reminder at work, I take special care to indicate where I’ll be, which is always Awesomeville.  It amazes me how few questions this raises, but I chalk it up to it being a foregone conclusion. Imagine my surprise, then, when upon my return from Maui someone asked me where, precisely, Awesomeville was. I patiently explained that Awesomeville is anywhere within a three-meter radius of me. “As a matter of fact, you’re in Awesomeville right now.” The blank stare was a refreshing change from the puzzled bewilderment I normally encounter when I talk about my personal life at work.

Maui was incredible, with the notable exception of the deathmarch up Haleakala. In fact, it was so incredible that we experienced something I had only ever theorized was possible: The Awesomeness Singularity. This is a condition where there is so much Awesome in one location that the Awesome reaches critical mass to where no Suck at all can enter.

The photo above was taken moments before the first singularity occurred, at an incredible lookout along the West Maui Loop. It’s a good thing that no Suck could enter our space, since we had just struggled up a brutally steep incline which Gianni and his VMH danced up and had neglected to warn us about, and my right cleat was broken and fastidiously violating the Principle of Silence.

Because normally, that’s the kind of thing that would piss my shit off.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Awesome. Or, as David Tua (NZ heavyweight boxer) once reportedly said on Wheel of Fortune when explaining the vowel he wanted to buy, "O for Awesome".

  • G'phant:
    Awesome. Or, as David Tua (NZ heavyweight boxer) once reportedly said on Wheel of Fortune when explaining the vowel he wanted to buy, "O for Awesome".

    bwilliantly owesome cuz

    @frank
    awesomeville - love it. Within a three-meter radius of yourself - even better.

    Do you radiate the awesomeness to such an extent that people lose all control of their bodily functions in awe; or is it more that it can emanate from you in such a way that those within the three-meter awesome sphere experience a sense of well being nay glowing after experience that they cherish and recall the moment forever? A bit like communing with Merckx?

  • That Maui Trip just gets better and better.
    No matter how you feel about the volcano it gave us winter bound fools a real shot of awesomeness. I would think you are almost at that point where the pain memories are fading and you are saying to yourself "mmn it wasn't that bad maybe I should book in for next year and break 4:00 hrs."

    @All Having spent only 12 hours in "Awesomeville" I would like to report to all those who have not been there yet that there is only one word able to come close to describing the experience - AWESOME!

  • Awesomeville must be kinda like "Gregtopia". My riding buddy Greg* (*See page 76 of the Nov/Dec '09 issue of Road Bike Action - That's Greg [on the left] dragging my fat ass up a 35km climb) says that when the road is perfectly smooth and you're cruising along above 40kph with a nice little tailwind you're in Gregtopia.

    I asked him once when we were both having a near-death experience at the 225km mark with the temperature close to 40c and we were out of water, and had a horrendous headwind on a nastily chip sealed road if we were in "Gregatory"? He just gave me an ashen little smile and replied "nice".

  • We have a friend here in Boulder named Bill. Bill goes on big rides out of Boulder, both mountain and road, on which he proceeds to lose himself even though he has ridden the trails/roads before and carries a map and a gps. When this happens, we say that Bill is in Billville. Normally, riding home in the dark or calling a buddy for a ride because you're still lost after 5 hours of riding in the mountains is a bad thing, but I think he does it on purpose. He always has this shit-eating grin on his face when he talks about Billville that makes you wish so badly that you had been on the ride. I have only seen Billville from a distance on a couple of rides with him, but I never say no to riding with Bill just in case I get a chance to visit Billville. It sounds like the greatest place to ride. Thanks for the blog work to everyone who contributes, I have been thoroughly enjoying every post.

  • @Lucky
    Maybe "Billville" should go in the Lexicon--when you've gone so deep into the pleasure of riding that you forget where you are or where you're going.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro
    I think you nailed it. It does seem as though he has been given a unique gift, and I honestly believe that he doesn't ever take it for granted. In Billville, every ride is the best ride ever.

  • The west maui loop is awesome ++. The high point of my every-other-year trip to Maui. That steep hill is called THE WALL by the wags at the bike shop in Lahina where I rented my ride.

  • @il ciclista medio

    Do you radiate the awesomeness to such an extent that people lose all control of their bodily functions in awe; or is it more that it can emanate from you in such a way that those within the three-meter awesome sphere experience a sense of well being nay glowing after experience that they cherish and recall the moment forever? A bit like communing with Merckx?

    It doesn't really work that way. People who enter the sphere just get more awesome. In fact, it's not limited to just people. Anything within 3m is more Awesome. A software developer might say it's Awesome++.

    I arrived at the office this morning to a piece of paper taped over my name plate on the wall outside my office that said, "Mr. Awesome."

    True story.

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