Motorhead

Motherfucker.

I honestly don’t like swearing in an Article, much less using such a word to open an article, but seriously. Motherfucker. A motor discovered in an U23 rider’s bike at the Cyclocross World Championships has to be the lowest of the low that anyone can go. I’m so pissed off, I’m rhyming. Which itself makes me madder than a hatter.

I have a pretty lenient stance on doping, which I hold to fairly wide criticism. I believe that the path towards doping is full of shadows and gradual steps towards the darkness. It is easy for me to imagine a young, ambitious rider who has sacrificed education and other vocations for the chance to become a Pro Cyclist, who is taken under the wing of an older, more experienced rider and to whom is explained the ways of the sport. If I was 18 and following that path, I cannot say with certainty what choice I would make, given the limited perspective one would have under those circumstances. While I hate doping and wish for clean sport, I hold limited judgement over those who have strayed down that path.

But we ride bicycles for the pleasure of propelling ourselves along the road under our own power. We push the pedals and we go faster, it is as simple as that; the motor resides in our heads and in our hearts. Performance enhancing drugs will, to various degrees, fine-tune and modify that motor, but there remains alive a notion that even a doped rider is holding true to this basic notion.

Competition is about finding out who is the superior athlete, it is as simple as that. We train, we fine-tune our equipment, we learn the strategy and tactics required to rise to the top. Doping certainly obscures that concept, but that a rider would abandon this fundamental principle of our sport by utilizing a motor in their bike seems to me an order of magnitude removed. It is gratuitous to the extent that there is no possible justification apart from an unabashed desire to win over all else.

This is bike racing, not motorcycle racing. For fucks sake.

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179 Replies to “Motorhead”

  1. Here goes to hoping I never have to see the world “tautological” outside of my academic reading. Damnit.

  2. @Barracuda

    @brett

    @Gianni

    Inconclusive. I ride up the Koppenberg at that same pace!

    (Ok, I’m comment doping there…)

    The fact that she wasn’t pedaling up the Koppenberg may have been an issue.

    !! +1 Badge!

    @Teocalli

    Interesting idea. Leaking wattage? I like it.

    @Teocalli

    @litvi

    I’d suggest that the flywheel effect of the rim would far outweigh any type of flywheel that could be concealed within a frame and it would have to be in the hub anyway otherwise the chain would have to be driving the wheel and back to the pedals needing to be turning.

    The only other method of driving it would be with the magnetic drive being in the wheel rim.

    Totally agree. On further thought, that has to be electromagnetic if it’s not just a locked up freewheel or something flukeish.

  3. @frank

     

    Or an electromagnetic wheel?

    http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/electromagnetic-wheels-are-the-new-frontier-of-mechanical-doping-claims-gazzetta-dello-sport/

    But more to your point, I wonder if a dynamo powered only by the rider themselves is different from a motor. At least it is all energy that the rider put into the machine themselves. There was a guy I ski raced with that used poles with springs in them. They were heavy and ineffective, but even if they worked, it would just be an exaggerated version of using steel’s flex to propel the bike during acceleration.

    This is an interesting philosophical turn.

    A flywheel would be the rider’s power, held in reserve.  Much like Sagan did in Richmond: wait for the right moment, then apply the power (hold on! I love the guy and how rad he is, so stick with me).  A dynamo would be the rider’s own power as well, leveraged through electromagnetics.  Not much different from mechanical leverage.

    How is it much different from the variable leverage through oval chainrings? It is, after all, still the rider’s own energy… just applied at more optimal time(s).

    If a rider stores kinetic energy in a flywheel, and it’s applied through a smart clutch, it’s still his energy.

    If a rider creates electrical charge through a dynamo, which propels permanent magnets, it’s still his energy.

    If a rider keeps his ATP reserves fresh by gliding with the peloton before applying it all at once, it’s still his energy.

    If I’m more efficient at 90 RPM and ride a compact, and I beat a guy with a 42×23 uphill, is that cheating?

    If a cyclist is on a bike with variable carbon lay-ups engineered to be compliant this way, and springy that way, and whatever other tech jargon the magazines are using these days, it’s still his energy.

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Some of these means of leveraging a rider’s own energy are legal, some are not.  Technical innovations are all frowned upon, or even forbidden… until they aren’t.

    One guy built a velociped. Another guy built one with suspended saddle.  Then some guy built a bicyclette with a chain drive… then two gears… then a gear changer… then derailleurs, now e- and hydraulics.

    All that said… electromagnetic drive assistance may not be a motor, but it still smells like cheating.

  4. @Ron

    Here goes to hoping I never have to see the world “tautological” outside of my academic reading. Damnit.

    Welcome to class.

  5. Good news everybody.  I found the guy who loaned Femke the bike.

    I did not have electromagnetic relations with that woman.

  6. @Gianni

    @brett

    @Gianni

    Inconclusive. I ride up the Koppenberg at that same pace!

    (Ok, I’m comment doping there…)

    OK, besides Brett, people don’t ride away from such powerful cyclists on that kind of grade. To my eye it looks totally evident she has an assist.

    Sure does to me too.

  7. @litvi

    Good news everybody. I found the guy who loaned Femke the bike.

    I did not have electromagnetic relations with that woman.

     

    Then it’s all gonna depend on what the meaning of “is” is!  Ahhh those were the good ol’ days. When the prospect seemed very real of the Supreme Court of the US of A having to debate what exactly oral sex was in terms of sexual relations. Regret that it never got that far. It’d have been one for the constitutional scholars to have debated for years. It’s not like anyone is debating if this electromagnetic relations was cheating is it? Just the magnitude of the cheat? And the appropriate consequences? Dang there are some similarities here… Interesting. Cheers

  8. Motherfucker, it’s alright to use the word motherfucker in this instance. However, it is NOT ok to besmirch Motorhead’s good name right after Lemmy died, ok, motherfucker.

     

  9. @litvi

     

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

     

    Is that like capturing your own blood and Re-applying it later?

  10. @litvi

    @frank

    Or an electromagnetic wheel?

    http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/electromagnetic-wheels-are-the-new-frontier-of-mechanical-doping-claims-gazzetta-dello-sport/

    But more to your point, I wonder if a dynamo powered only by the rider themselves is different from a motor. At least it is all energy that the rider put into the machine themselves. There was a guy I ski raced with that used poles with springs in them. They were heavy and ineffective, but even if they worked, it would just be an exaggerated version of using steel’s flex to propel the bike during acceleration.

    This is an interesting philosophical turn.

    A flywheel would be the rider’s power, held in reserve. Much like Sagan did in Richmond: wait for the right moment, then apply the power (hold on! I love the guy and how rad he is, so stick with me). A dynamo would be the rider’s own power as well, leveraged through electromagnetics. Not much different from mechanical leverage.

    How is it much different from the variable leverage through oval chainrings? It is, after all, still the rider’s own energy… just applied at more optimal time(s).

    If a rider stores kinetic energy in a flywheel, and it’s applied through a smart clutch, it’s still his energy.

    If a rider creates electrical charge through a dynamo, which propels permanent magnets, it’s still his energy.

    If a rider keeps his ATP reserves fresh by gliding with the peloton before applying it all at once, it’s still his energy.

    If I’m more efficient at 90 RPM and ride a compact, and I beat a guy with a 42×23 uphill, is that cheating?

    If a cyclist is on a bike with variable carbon lay-ups engineered to be compliant this way, and springy that way, and whatever other tech jargon the magazines are using these days, it’s still his energy.

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Some of these means of leveraging a rider’s own energy are legal, some are not. Technical innovations are all frowned upon, or even forbidden… until they aren’t.

    One guy built a velociped. Another guy built one with suspended saddle. Then some guy built a bicyclette with a chain drive… then two gears… then a gear changer… then derailleurs, now e- and hydraulics.

    All that said… electromagnetic drive assistance may not be a motor, but it still smells like cheating.

    Totally agreed. The point is that it isn’t in the open; they are hiding it which is one of the key aspects that makes it cheating.

    One thing that makes it “feel” like doping is that the resistance caused by storing up the energy on a huge descent in the bunch doesn’t feel a lot like the guy suffered more than anyone else to get the energy stored up.

  11. @EBruner

    @litvi

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Is that like capturing your own blood and Re-applying it later?

    Oh, ouch!

    Great point. Its different, my gut tells me, but I’m not sure I can articulate why!

  12. @wilburrox

    @Gianni

    @brett

    @Gianni

    Inconclusive. I ride up the Koppenberg at that same pace!

    (Ok, I’m comment doping there…)

    OK, besides Brett, people don’t ride away from such powerful cyclists on that kind of grade. To my eye it looks totally evident she has an assist.

    Sure does to me too.

    The big thing is she accelerates without changing anything in her pedalling style.

  13. The only stored energy doping I am guilty of is hauling my fat ass up climbs just as fast as the skinny 20 somethings, and crushing them on the decent with my “stored” kinetic energy.

  14. @frank

    @EBruner

    @litvi

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Is that like capturing your own blood and Re-applying it later?

    Oh, ouch!

    Great point. Its different, my gut tells me, but I’m not sure I can articulate why!

    They aren’t  a whole lot different, after all.  Pharmaceuticals : battery powered motors :: my own blood stored in bags : my own energy stored in a flywheel.  One is clearly outside help, whereas the other is a little murky.

    What’s important is what the rules are.  Rules are rules, and agree or disagree, you Obey the Rules.  (That’s even codified somewhere.)  Because the rules are known.  The rules keep the playing field level when they are “out in the open,” everyone knows them.

    However I’m not sure being “out in the open” is always enough to decide if a thing is cheating or fair play.  The proprietary nature of new and innovative technology is part of its appeal, right?  The first electronic shifters were kept under wraps for a while.  Ferrari’s first spoiler was visible, but the concept was concealed (“keeping fuel splashes from hitting the hot tailpipes”).  But that doesn’t make them cheating, or more to the point, Wrong.

  15. @frank

    @EBruner

    @litvi

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Is that like capturing your own blood and Re-applying it later?

    Oh, ouch!

    Great point. Its different, my gut tells me, but I’m not sure I can articulate why!

    a ) Your dutch

    2 ) that’s why

    * ) no artificial articulation needed.

    I like @EBruner thinking though, as in, its my blood and I’ll do what I like with it.

     

  16. Going back to the beginnings of Frank’s article: 100% agree, traditional doping (of your body – FFS now we have to call that “traditional!”) still requires you to lay down maximum V in the moment of truth. Gruber assists/motors/magnetic drives are more akin to holding onto a team car or grabbing onto a passing press motorcycle in a race – for just a bit you get relief from the suffering and hell, that does help (as long as you don’t misjudge and crash or get caught by the commisaire). And there is no way in hell the riders who have these don’t know they are in there. I can tell when I have a full bidon or an empty one, a motor and power pack would definitely be noticeable on a pro peloton bike.

    I’ll wager the UCI was immediately suspicious of dear Famke after her Koppenberg performance, and waited for just the right opportunity to catch her out somewhere that was sure to garner more press coverage. What’s better than World’s. Message sent and definitely received.

  17. @Barracuda

    @frank

    @EBruner

    @litvi

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Is that like capturing your own blood and Re-applying it later?

    Oh, ouch!

    Great point. Its different, my gut tells me, but I’m not sure I can articulate why!

    a ) Your dutch

    2 ) that’s why

    * ) no artificial articulation needed.

    I like @EBruner thinking though, as in, its my blood and I’ll do what I like with it.

    Your Dutch or my Dutch?

  18. @brett

    @frank

    “I honestly don’t like swearing in an Article…”

    This is as big a joke as “it’s my friend’s bike”!

    Ok, searching for the word “fuck” does show an increasing incidence of that word in my articles, but it’s still a significant minority. You and Gianni have almost a perfect record! Chapeau to both of you.

  19. Method of detection is an interesting one here. I talked to Helen Wyman after the race, and she said that apparently lots of bikes were screened during the race by commissaires passing iPads over them. She said there didn’t appear to be anything attached to the iPads (like thermal imaging cameras or whatever), though I think that must have been based on previous incidents because of course she was kinda riding her bike while it happened.

    One explanation is that the whole thing was intel-led and that mass-testing is simply a ruse to convince all pros everywhere that – as Brian Cookson repeated over and over again at the press conference – “we know how to detect mechanical fraud and we will catch you”.

    Also: great racing at the weekend. Does anyone have a vid of the move van der Haar put on Van Aert down the drop with the left hand turn, in the last lap? Staggering skill.

  20. Of course mechanical doping already exists… it’s called Di2 and EPS.

    Seriously, I don’t see any philosophical difference.  OK the Di2/EPS is not directly powering the bike but it is being used to help the functioning of the drive train which has a direct role in the bike’s drive. They are both external power sources being used to replace or enhance human energy.

    If anything a power reserve which stored the riders’ energy and then re-applied it should be more acceptable than external battery power.

    I said it when that stuff first arrived. A bicycle is a human powered vehicle and once you introduce external power sources it has become something else.

    For everyone calling for her head, yes she has to be punished because she broke rules, but at a higher level I think the rules are hypocritical.

  21. For some reason I had the feel that this article justified doping somewhat.

  22. I heard she got busted because when she loaded her Koppenberg climb into strava and got the QOM her SRM only showed her putting out 96 watts.

     

  23. @ChrisO

    Of course mechanical doping already exists… it’s called Di2 and EPS.

    Seriously, I don’t see any philosophical difference. OK the Di2/EPS is not directly powering the bike but it is being used to help the functioning of the drive train which has a direct role in the bike’s drive. They are both external power sources being used to replace or enhance human energy.

    If anything a power reserve which stored the riders’ energy and then re-applied it should be more acceptable than external battery power.

    I said it when that stuff first arrived. A bicycle is a human powered vehicle and once you introduce external power sources it has become something else.

    For everyone calling for her head, yes she has to be punished because she broke rules, but at a higher level I think the rules are hypocritical.

    Something like 90% of pro peloton is mechanical doping ? And will probably be even more once the SRAM sponsored teams have all the eTap gear the need (and racers want?). There is no doubt that the motorized derailleurs work very well. And there are definitely little motors on the bike.

     

  24. @sthilzy

    But also, from what I’ve read about the tiny road bike motors is that you have to turn them off and on – in the Hesjedal clip they are descending, so why would he have his motor on? It’s also in slow mo, makes everything look a bit weird.

    I don’t buy it.

  25. @ChrisO

    Amen brother. If it was for me, i would ban anything electric or electronic on a bike. No power meter, no radio, etc…

     

    As for Femke, between her brother who dope, her father who is a thief, i am not surprised…

  26. @Oli

    @KogaLover

    Oh dear. You didn’t, did you?

    Jesus H Tap-Dancing CHRIST, I’m with you on this one Oli.

    Fuck, I thought I had escaped facebook.

  27. @chris

    Aha, must be because I am not on Facebook that I am not sensitive towards this. I must have missed the Rule on memes then. Hill repeats coming!

  28. @slatanic

    Cancellera ?? Go to 3:20 Very interesting stuff……

    https://youtu.be/8Nd13ARuvVE?t=3m20s

    wow, hadn’t seen this before….i’m just a mere mortal, but when i go faster i’m either going downhill, pedaling faster and or changing gears….none of that seems to happen to Spartacus here.  Boy do i gotta lot work to do to channel that kind of V.

  29. @sthilzy: “Hmmmmmmm…….Hesjadal’s seems to spin longer without slowing…….”

    I do assume the allegation refers to Hesjedal using a motor in his seattube. If Hesjedal would have had a motor, the pedals also would have continued spinning, since the motor works on the cranks/pedals and not on the wheel/axle directly. Hesjedal came down so must have had more speed.

    If it would have been an electromagnetic motor, embedded into the wheels, then this is the biggest laugh, since those wheels cost 200k EUR and the camera/motorist cracked his rim when driving past him after he’d crashed.

     

     

  30. @frank

    @Chris

    I got dropped on Turn 4 of Alpe d’Huez by a 60 year old fat broad on a E bike. I ain’t been right ever since (Send EVERY doper/cheater a lifetime ban or this sport is dead).

    Yes, but neither she nor your were racing. I’d suggest you should be able to get over that one quite handily.

    To “get dropped” surely implies that Chris WAS racing this “old fat broad”, even if she wasn’t aware of it!

  31. @RobSandy

    @sthilzy

    But also, from what I’ve read about the tiny road bike motors is that you have to turn them off and on – in the Hesjedal clip they are descending, so why would he have his motor on? It’s also in slow mo, makes everything look a bit weird.

    I don’t buy it.

    I don’t buy it either, but when the bike hit the deck, a button in the control lever could have been accidentally pressed

  32. @wilburrox

    Something like 90% of pro peloton is mechanical doping ? And will probably be even more once the SRAM sponsored teams have all the eTap gear the need (and racers want?). There is no doubt that the motorized derailleurs work very well. And there are definitely little motors on the bike.

    Technically no, morally yes.

    And their little noise is horrible. That tiny electronic whine that says “I can’t shift my own derailleur.”

  33. @sthilzy

    @sengelov

    @Gopha

    Other articles keep mentioning Froome and Cancellara(I won’t accept that) but I couldn’t stop watching this video then and I can’t stop watching it now;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ideiS-6gBAc

    Me too, but take a look at this simple demonstration:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN7HjwZI-k0 (@0:34)

    I was looking for that one as well.

    Hmmmmmmm…….Hesjadal’s seems to spin longer without slowing…….

    The demo just spun the pedals gently, think how much faster Hesjadal would have been going.

  34. @frank

    @EBruner

    @litvi

    If I can capture MY OWN energy and re-apply it later, through carbon layup nanoseconds later, oval chainrings microseconds later, and both are legal, maybe applying my own power from a flywheel or a dynamo later on isn’t cheating after all.

    Is that like capturing your own blood and Re-applying it later?

    Oh, ouch!

    Great point. Its different, my gut tells me, but I’m not sure I can articulate why!

    It’s different because in the case of capturing blood and re-applying it later, the rider didn’t take his/her blood from his/herself in the middle of the ride and put it back at the feed station, or at the 20km to go banner, like getting one last bottle/gel.  If they depleted their red blood cells after the start, then put them back just before the finish, you’d be getting closer to the mark of what Frank is talking about.

  35. @frank

    @litvi

    @wiscot

    @Gopha

    Other articles keep mentioning Froome and Cancellara(I won’t accept that) but I couldn’t stop watching this video then and I can’t stop watching it now;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ideiS-6gBAc

    I watched it several times. I’m no mechanical engineer, but if the rear wheel was being driven by a motor, wouldn’t the bike have swung in the opposite direction?

    seems like the right direction to me, if the rearmost part of the wheel moves up, toward the saddle… no?

    Agreed. But maybe @wiscot is confused about how he descends verses how a Pro descends?

    No sir. There’s no confusion about how I descend versus a pro. I descend like a big jessie compared to the likes of Faboo, Yates, Kelly et al. In fact, no-one would ever confuse me and a pro. Actually, I take that back. I was asked for my autograph by a kid while I was in the pits at the 1988 Grand Prix des Nations. I was young, fit, tanned and looked pro enough. Ask Darryl Webster, he was standing next to me having actually ridden the event  – but was in civvies.

  36. @Teocalli

    @sthilzy

    @sengelov

    @Gopha

    Other articles keep mentioning Froome and Cancellara(I won’t accept that) but I couldn’t stop watching this video then and I can’t stop watching it now;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ideiS-6gBAc

    Me too, but take a look at this simple demonstration:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN7HjwZI-k0 (@0:34)

    I was looking for that one as well.

    Hmmmmmmm…….Hesjadal’s seems to spin longer without slowing…….

    The demo just spun the pedals gently, think how much faster Hesjadal would have been going.

    The guy who made that comparison video gets demerit points for carelessly scuffing up his saddle and tape job.

  37. Whenever I see that video of her going up the Koppenberg I can’t help hearing a Jetsons-esque sound effect in my head.

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