We want to look like Pros, sure, but what we’re really after is feeling Pro. All the aesthetics are just a tool we use to fuel the fickle internal combustion engine of Morale. In the end, there is little that will make you feel Pro more than clattering along a stretch of cobbles in a small group; instant “select breakaway”. One of the magical things about the cobbles is the risk of crashing is always there, so your adrenaline is always pumping. The other magical thing about the cobbles is that you have to ride them full gas to smooth them out, which means you have the combination of bombing along a tooth-rattling road at full gas with adrenaline coursing through your veins like it’s New York in 1984. And then Johan Museeuw blows by in the gutter and now it’s a real party.
The most Pro you’ll ever feel, however, is clattering along the cobbles, feeling your back rim start to hit the stones and realize the worst: you’ve got a flat. You don’t have any tools; in fact you have nothing in your pockets at all. But fear not, you just swing off, do a cyclocross dismount while reaching for you back QR skewer which you unlatch right as your second foot hits the ground. A snap of the seatpost and the wheel comes loose. You hold it up in the air and the support van screeches to a halt as the mechanic jumps out with a fresh wheel. Moments later, you’re back on the street, in the non-prostitute sense.
This is Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics. I’ve never had a flat on the cobbles, but I’ve seen it enough first-hand to attest to the above scenario. I also recognize that due to my hubris in mentioning the scenario, I will experience it firsthand this year.
Keepers Tour is back for 2015; based out of our Gite outside Lille, we’ll be crushing cobbles and watching the best races of the year in dust-covered front-row seats. Roubaix, Flanders, Wevelgem, we ride them all. Roubaix, Flanders, Scheldeprijs, we watch them all. This is an amazing time of year to be a Cyclist, and it’s the most magical time to be a Cyclist in Belgium. Our trip is 100% all-inclusive; get yourself to Lille and you will not need to spend a dime until you’re back in Lille nine days later.
The provisional agenda is below. Changes will likely be made but the basic agenda of major events will stay intact. All-inclusive cost for the full 9-Day Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2015 is €3,250. A 50% deposit will be collected in January, with the balance due upon arrival in Lille. Register on the Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2015 event page.
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So, only because I enjoy being ridiculed by complete strangers, I thought I'd ask some opinions. Surely, there must be an opinion out there somewhere? What are your thoughts on riding a fixie, or single speed (freewheel) over the cobbles? The question "Why Not?" kept me awake all night last night. GO!
Can't log in through the V-site - have sent an email to Frank saying I'll be there - will this do?
I need to go hunt me some pelts now to pay fer it all.
@the Engine
You're in mate...
@Mike Hunn
Oh Mikey, why lug a fixie halfway across the world just for it to be thrown in the back of the van after the first secteur, never to be ridden again? (That's if William, Alex and Frank even let it near the cobbles!)
@Mike Hunn
This is what it'll look like when you're being ridiculed by Frank...
@Barracuda
That's my favorite looking grouppo of all time, too; the Mavic SSC. Those hoods were so cool looking - they looked fast standing still! And that crank!
(Not the right bike but that's the right group set!)
@the Engine
Oh come on. Surely Mrs Engine can save a few pennies out of her generous housekeeping budget to let you travel to France? However, if pelt hunting you must do, I'm assuming that you're talking about haggis pelts? They fetch a high price I hear . . .
@wiscot
I've set a haggis trap in the river at the bottom of the garden - this time of year they tend to like the shelter of the river bank...also trapping them avoids damage to the skin - essential for the discerning Italian market
Reading about the Keepers Tour makes me think I'm Ulysses and the Keepers are the sirens.
Not too sure who's tied me to the mast though...
Reading all this stirs up a particularly painful memory for me. I was offered a (dream) job at a luxury cycling tourism company as content writer and marketer a couple years ago. I had to turn it down because their compensation package just wasn't feasible for my wife and me. After a couple days of negotiating I realized we just weren't going to get it done. Clicking 'Send' on that 'I regretfully decline...' email was brutal. Au revoir, rolling in the tracks of giants.
Maybe I'll be able to join in on the Keepers Tour: 2059 when I'm nearing retirement age...