Categories: Defining MomentsExportKeepers TourLa Vie Velominatus

(Re)Discovery

Vermont in Autumn. Photo via @LazyJackFlash.

I’ve lost a lot of things that were, at some point or another, dear to me. At times, I’ve even cast them away deliberately, either because of a nurtured indifference or an irrational or impulsive dislike. Regret is an easy emotion to find in reflection, it lays right at the surface and provides us with a quick answer without requiring further introspection. I prefer to recognize that every choice I’ve made was an opportunity and that even the failed opportunities make up part of the foundation that lays beneath me and helps support me as I grow. Life is about learning from your mistakes, looking ahead, and seeking beauty in every approaching moment; to embrace the opportunity to make the best choice we can based on our experience and our goals.

We walk along an intertwined web of choices and possible futures. Every choice is a crossroads where the direction we choose sends us hurtling towards a new destination. Some crossroads have paths that ultimately lead towards the same end, but all of them represent a different journey. We cannot see the path, so we are left to decide what to make of the journey. We always have a choice, even if the choice is simply to reject an option. But even rejection leads to a new choice, and that to another. Choice gives us freedom. To be deprived of choice is to be enslaved.

My season’s objectives lie at my back and before me stretches a long period of time as I work towards my next milestone, which is Keepers Tour 2015. Between here and there lies the Cyclocross Season in which I will sporadically race, and also a possible trip up Haleakala, but with my season just having ended, I will face them without any special preparation or training. My rides during the Fall are deliberately without objective, I ride as my fancy dictates. My objective is simply to ride and to rediscover the basic sensations that fuel my love for Cycling.

With this deliberate lack of structure, I explore once again the mysteries of The V. On some days, I come home from work and as I pedal away my muscles twitch as they hunger for the deep burning that only a session in the Five and Dime can do. Yet on other days I am drained and wish only to feel my legs spin and surrender to the hum of my tires as my senses fill with the cool damp smells of Autumn. The mystery lies in the fact that nothing between my days at the office will have been fundamentally different; I do not know the state of my body and mind until I climb aboard the bicycle.

Riding a bicycle may have nothing to do with the elemental existence of humankind, but it does have something to do with the elemental existence of us as individuals. The bicycle is freedom, to be sure, but it is also a mystery unto itself while paradoxically helping unravel the mystery how I respond and interact with my surroundings. Therein lies the enigma: the bicycle knows me better than I know myself.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Oct 18 2014 at 8:01 am

@Ccos

The off season is quite the paradox: I find it mentally refreshing without the structure of the season, but then I get a bit testy as I watch my fitness wane. Talk about regret.

Maybe I should race cross a little more...

Yeah, even in the last two weeks I've seen my form drop off significantly, but at the same time I'm having a lot of fun on the bike. Cogal today, CX race at Magnuson park tomorrow where I'll experience Surround Bollocking.
frank says:

Oct 18 2014 at 8:04 am

@ped

off topic, came across this avatar on an overclocking website, nice

WTF?? Where was that?

@girl

Well written, you create some vivid imagery there. But being in the Southern Hemisphere with my race season beginning in just over a week and then my longest race two weeks after that, I kind of smile at the fact that I am (hopefully) in the opposite form and frame of mind. But I do envy you getting on your bike and just pedalling over then next little while.

And I envy you being on the other side as well; we'll always look at the other side of the cycle with some nostalgia, won't we? Feeling that sharpness in your muscles, the ease of movement that comes with it - even the feeling of power when you walk up some steps and smile quietly to yourself.

And when I'm there, I'll be similarly nostalgic for the freedom that comes with not having a plan anymore...
frank says:

Oct 18 2014 at 8:08 am

@ChrissyOne

160k of relaxation this Saturday. Can't wait!

Woot woot!

@rfreese888

As the days get shorter and the temperature drops I feel like I am riding into a kind of caVe; where the attention goes inward and insights mined from moments of solitude on the bike are waiting for me.

Very well put! This are indeed times for discovery.
frank says:

Oct 18 2014 at 8:11 am

@antihero

Yes. Rule #74. No training, just riding. No power meter. No GPS. No computer. No math. V-Meter only.

I imagine if you use a power meter how liberating it must be to get rid of it. I used to take my heart rate monitor off when I was a slave to it and it felt like the relief you feel after putting down a heavy load.

@unversio

A good 12 hour day, an MX Leader (The Sword) with no data, 52/42, 11-20 straight block, roads mapped by memory, some serious Parallax socks to inspire my own space-time continuum, and the sound of silence.

I forgot you made that block! That's a proper gear ratio you've got there, all around.
Buck Rogers says:

Oct 18 2014 at 8:38 pm

Lovely read. Thanks Frahnk. And love that photo. For me, that's home, and always will be.
frank says:

Oct 19 2014 at 9:47 am

@VeloSix

It's my goal to have a week off of work, each autumn, and ride without a plan taking in the autumn colors.

This is a very good goal.

@chuckp

Frank - This has been the year of (re)discovery for me on a bike. I quit 15 some odd years ago after getting burned out from racing and running a club/team. But when I found myself temporarily unemployed this spring, I decided to get back on the bike (my 20+ year old "steel is real" race bike) and just ride. I (re)discovered the joy of just riding to ride. No goals. No aspirations. Not worried about how far or how fast I rode. Just riding. Re-connected with one of my old racing buddies (who was also not working) and we rode together a lot ... reminiscing about being younger, stronger, faster but not trying to be. Started doing a regular Sunday group ride and took on the role of lanterne rouge to make sure no one got dropped or lost and to help with anyone who had a mechanical. And helped some of the slower riders ride faster. More fun than hammering and trying to crush souls. I might occasionally duke it out on a hill/climb but for the most part ride sans ego. I know the younger guys (and gals) are supposed to be stronger/faster than me. I just do my best to hold my own given the difference in years. Sometimes experience pays off and I uphold Fausto Coppi's adage "age and treachery will overcome skill and youth." Even though most of my rides have been in 20-30 mile spurts, I've managed to log a tad over 3,400 miles since I got back in the saddle. But it's not a benchmark or milestone. Once I start having those again, riding won't be any fun for me. Yes, I have personal goals for certain favorite Strava segments where I think I'm capable of doing better. But my only real goal is to just ride to ride. Enjoy the bike and time on the bike for what it is.

Welcome back; take it day by day my friend.

@Barracuda

@frank excellent read.

So you've actually structured a lack of structure. Strong work and not easy to do.

...I suppose that's right! Hadn't thought of it like that.

Ive tried to ride of late with the same lack of structure, but most of the time turns into " must ride further and harder " and therefore kind of takes the enjoyment out of it.

This is my biggest beef with Strave; I love the social aspect and the training log side, not to mention the detail provided by the segments, but its the pressure and how it pulls you out of your plan that keeps me from using it regularly.
frank says:

Oct 19 2014 at 9:50 am

@therealpeel

@ron well said. Thinking of balance in life I remind myself that balance is never static. We turn the pedals around to stay upright on impossibly narrow strips of rubber. We shift our weight forwards and back to compensate for changing terrain. What is now will not be in a moment. Such is life. Jobs, VMH's, partners, kids, etc all require us to constantly move between competing demands in order to stay balanced. Lean to far or commit to heavily, and its rubber side up and a trip to the ER.

Congrats on striving for balance. Keep moving.

Fantastic observation. I love this. Especially the line:

What is now will not be in a moment.
unversio says:

Oct 20 2014 at 9:00 am

@frank

@unversio

A good 12 hour day, an MX Leader (The Sword) with no data, 52/42, 11-20 straight block, roads mapped by memory, some serious Parallax socks to inspire my own space-time continuum, and the sound of silence.

I forgot you made that block! That's a proper gear ratio you've got there, all around.

The 206mi idea is out of my system now. Although the ride stopped at 100mi I am calling it a "successful test" and have the route registered to memory. The one tooth differential was the best decision that I've ever made with the drivetrain. Best decision of the day was to enjoy the idea of "stopping" with my family. They had endured 6 hours to the 3rd checkpoint with smiles on their faces and I then decided not to ruin that by pushing them for 6 hours more. The day was perfect.

My notion of building up a Coefficient of Difficulty to endure the 206 mile route went in the ditch at mile 100. The adventure was a good one though. And I while I originally thought that I would want to describe my deep internal nature that I refer to as the Coefficient of Difficulty, I don't need to. I rode alone and the miles are behind me now. And all the moments are left on the road.

There is one remarkable eye opener though that came within the first 10 minutes of riding at dawn.
I had the bike up to speed (the road was giving it to me) and maintaining the early stage of the Coefficient. Dead silent morning; dead silent bike; eerie strobing front light; rustling and crashing in the trees; light enough to see a whitetail bobbing along; one deer running up to speed in the tree line; I accelerate and shout "Heeahh!"; that next 100th of a second the deer clips my right butt cheek with its snout; crosses over my rear wheel without touching; still riding and the deer was gone. I momentarily rode as if it did not happen, and shortly thereafter found myself riding with a greater awareness for the rest of the day.
JCM says:

Oct 20 2014 at 9:44 am

@unversio Strong work! Thanks for sharing the story and photos. The last photo leaves no doubt that it was indeed a perfect day.
Ron says:

Oct 20 2014 at 10:53 am

Oh, and I love the lead photo. Reminds me a bit of...the photo I have next to my name. Mine is from one of my favorite road loops near where I grew up. Heads either from NY into PA or the other way, depending on which direction you ride the loop.

Hmm, maybe I can manage to ride it when I'm visiting the Olds for Thanksgiving in a few weeks...