Categories: Guest Article

Guest Article: Velominatus Testamaximus


Our lives as cyclists are made sweeter by the occasional intersection of our world with that of professional cycling. Spotting a pro out on the road, stumbling across a team training ride, sneaking onto the back of said team training ride, even stealing a conversation with a pro or ex-pro can leave a lasting impression and provide a cache of tales that will in all likelihood become more glorious with each telling.

Chance encounters with Pros are one thing, but to the Velominatus, the other people associated with the professional cycling world who keep it all moving forward are perhaps even more meaningful. The team mechanics, soigneurs, physios; these are the people who devote their life to the sport and work tirelessly and without headlines that their pedaling counterparts receive.  Perhaps they like it that way, but these are people whose love for the sport runs deep and whose roles are critical to keeping the sport alive.

Cyclops recently had the opportunity to have his Lactate Threshold tested by the head team doctor for Team BMC, Dr. Max Testa. Personally, having my threshold tested is kind of like checking my bank account; I was happier before I knew the truth, and now I have to deal with reality again. Cyclops doesn’t seem to be influenced by these same concerns and, apparently, finds some motivation in the prospect. To each their own.

Please enjoy Cyclops’s’s’s latest installment; his tale of Velominatus Testamaximus.

Yours in cycling,

Frank

Even though my life has revolved around bicycles and racing (in one form or another) for most of my life I would not say that I became a true Velominatus until just recently.  I was always floating around just outside the “inner circle” because I treated cycling just like all the other things in my life – with a sort of casual interest that belongs to one that has a level of natural talent that makes most things easy but doesn’t allow for an excelling at anything in particular.  I never really applied myself if things got serious – I would just move on to the next interest.  But road bikes always seemed to be just back there in the white noise of my life.

This all changed a few seasons ago when I was out on a ride with one of the local hammers and he casually remarks “You’ll never beat me.  You don’t train.”  I didn’t really think much of it at the time but I guess it planted a seed deep down in my psyche because all of a sudden I found myself doing intervals and actually looking forward to slogging it up the local big climb.

Last year was my first year of serious (for me) training and I saw marked increases in the amount of the V I was able to dish out but I wanted to take it to the next level.  Enter Dr. Massimo (Max) Testa. If you aren’t familiar with Dr. Testa – “You Americans are so formal over here.  Please, it is Max.” – he is an Italian sports physiologist that has trained the likes of Levi Leipheimer, George Hincapie, Team Mapei, and the 7-Eleven team, to name a few and is currently the head team doctor for BMC.

Max lives near Salt Lake City and has professional ties to Dr. Anthony Joseph, an ISU (Idaho State) sports doctor that helped me with some knee issues.  Dr. Joseph brought Max up here to do Lactate Threshold testing for the locals.  So here’s a little ol’ fat Cyclops getting a chance for some world class direction in my training, and have some concrete numbers on which to base my training so I was very excited about my “date” with Max.  Ironically, the day before the testing was Valentine’s Day but I resisted the temptation to surround the tub with some of Frank’s candles as I ran a bath in preparation for the “shaving of the guns”.

I’ll get to the results in a bit but let me say that Max is an extremely nice person.  He talked with everyone as if they were the best of friends.  The seminar he gave after all the testing was done was very informative and he stayed afterward and answered individual questions for about an hour.  Each question was answered with a passion and thoroughness that let you know that he cared for your individual concerns.  Each answer was usually accompanied by an anecdote too.  One of which I would like to share with the Velominati.  Somebody asked a question relating to TTing and Max told the story of when he asked Eddy Merckx to give Raul Alcala some TT pointers.  Eddy tells Alcala to “Make sure that you go out as fast as possible because you’ll lose valuable seconds if you don’t go out as hard as the others.  Then you must make sure that for the last 2-3k you are going as fast as possible so that you can gain time on those that are fatigued and let up at the end.”  Alcala then asked Eddy “What about in between?”  Eddy’s response?  “Go as fast as possible.”

Another little side note – the girl in the picture above is Kari, Max’s assistant.  I was talking with her about Team BMC and mentioned that they are one of my favorite teams because I like Cadel Evans and Big George.  She gushed about how nice of a person George is and that it is nice when the people you admire are decent people.  She didn’t say a word about Cuddles.  Hmmm.

So now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for with baited breath.  How does the Cyclops stack up?  Well, I’m old (50 in 6 months) and fat (down 16kg from the fattest but I need to lose at least 7 more kilograms to be where I want to be) and it is February in Idaho so please be merciful to me.  I put out 2.7 W/Kg – the average person puts out around 1.5 W/Kg. and the pros are putting out 6-7W/Kg.  At my current LTHR of 146bpm I’m putting out 215 watts.  When they stopped the test I was putting out 250 watts at a HR of 152bpm.  I was a little disappointed with the numbers but at least my “Lactate response is consistent with a well-trained cyclist” – I think they threw me a bone.  Basically I fall right in line with your average Cat 5.  But now I have some numbers, some motivation, and some direction (train more in “Zone 3”).  I’ll have to do a field test in a couple of months to see how much I’ve improved.

By the way, in the three times I’ve been up against the “local hammer” since the casual remark I’ve placed higher than him twice (one was a 1st place).  The one time he finished higher than me I was closing the gap on him on a mountain top finish but ran out of road so he finished about a minute ahead of me.  But overall I got about a two minute lead on him in our little Tour de Testosterone GC battle.

Cyclops

I really like riding road bikes as fast as possible. I live in Lexington, KY so here is a standing offer to anybody coming my way: Need a place to crash, need a steak grilled to perfection, need a beer you can't see through, need your wheels trued, need theological insight? I'll hook you up. Just get a hold of me.

View Comments

  • great post Cyclops, that anecdote about Eddy has really cheered me up after a pretty shit coupla days

    i wanna race this season, and i feel i could use something like this, but as i don't anybody got tips for training?

  • @Marcus
    Yeah, you're right. Definitely getting in touch with a bike shop ASAP after arrival and see what the local racing scene is. I have not raced in years and really look forward to getting blasted out the back for a bit until I can find my racing legs! And what's this Masters Shit! No way I can be masters!!! Why just yesterday I was a raging 21 year old Cat 3 (or was that 18 years ago?).

  • Man, I play hookie one day and my article gets posted and know I gotta try to answer all this stuff. Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement.

    @xyxax

    The way the test went was to start at 100w and increase 25w every three minutes with a blood sample at the end of each three minute segment. I was surprised that the test ended because my RPE didn't seem very high. I'm hoping this was an indication that I know how to suffer because I definitely have a LOT higher RPE when TTing and hill climbing. Which brings up a point that others have commented on here and which a Cat 1 that was at the testing was discussing with me - "This is a number to base training off of but it doesn't tell us what your ability to suffer is."

    So this brings up something that I've always wondered about. What is "suffering"? Can somebody give a objective definition? Am I really suffering or is there this whole nuther level that I'm not privy to?

    @Marko

    Nobody said anything about my kit. I was bummed.

  • @xyxax

    Oh, I forgot to mention that Max says the your indoor results are usually 5-8bpm lower than an on the road test.

  • "Suffering" is the point at which your sensory perception of the outside world starts to shut down as your focus is almost exclusively, and involuntarily, directed to the pain, numbness, burning sensations, pounding heart and other things going on within your own body. You know you are suffering when:

    1. Your arms also get numb and start to burn like your legs;
    2. You don't hear anything but your pounding heart (which you are aren't really hearing but feeling all over your body including your head and ears);
    3. You get a form of tunnel vision in that you don't really perceive anything you are seeing (your eyes "see" things but your mind does not register them because it is directed inward);
    4. Your sense of time is altered in that 1 minute feels like 10, or maybe even more; and
    5. You lose the sense of how fast or slow you are then going, or how much or little power you are putting out, because your body is now only telling you "hurt, hurt, hurt" all over and you've lost the ability to judge performance (this is when a speedometer and/or power meter can help you figure out just how strong or pathetic actual performance has become at that point in the effort).

    There are other examples of indicators. These are just a few.

    When you really know how to suffer, your actual performance doesn't matter. You can really suck from a comparative perspective, but if you truly suffer you are a badass and a hardman. It is kind of like Rule 9 from my perspective, if you know how to suffer you are a badass--period. The difference is, unlike being out riding in bad weather, only YOU know if you are truly suffering.

    That is my take on suffering.

  • @Cyclops

    Awesome article, i was wondering as it has been a few months whether you have done your field test yet and if so what the results are.

    @Frank

    The team mechanics, soigneurs, physios; these are the people who devote their life to the sport and work tirelessly and without headlines that their pedaling counterparts receive.

    I couldn't agree more either with this, and usually they are so willing to give of their time and knowledge when asked. I remember very clearly when I was younger and at some regional race my dad had taken me to he was sat down on a little chair next to the mechanic who he asked nicely if he could watch him strip down the bike and rebuild it. Dad took notes and the mechanic was extremely happy to oblidge and even gave him his contact details incase he wanted to call and ask.

Share
Published by
Cyclops

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago