Choose Your Parents Wisely
Evelyn Stevens was working on Wall Street four years ago and is now the best American women cyclist. How is that possible? Her parents must be enjoying dinner with pulses of 40 bpm and sky high VO2 maxes. Are they both professional marathon runners? Is that how they met? Maybe they have never attempted aerobic sports. If Evelyn has siblings and they are not professional athletes, I hope they are taking advantage of their superior aerobic thresholds, somehow, like hustling people at the city public lake. It’s easy money.
Hey youth, fifty bucks says I can swim across the lake faster than you, with this cigarette in my mouth.
No way tubby, you are on.
It’s a source of frustration for me as I bump my head against the low ceiling of my genetic limitations. “You can be whatever you want to be!” That is such nonsense. Every professional rider is a genetic freak, they certainly aren’t physiologically normal. It’s not all hard work and desire. It may be all hard work, desire and a better than average cardiovascular system. Training, weight loss, diet will bring one up to one’s own maximum fitness but we are all bracketed by how we chose our parents. Having the perfect amount of dumb may be my only professional qualification. I don’t want to be a pro, I just want to casually crush my friends and I can’t.
Greg LeMond did a fantastic job choosing his parents. As a junior he was beating the best seniors in the country. As a twenty-two year old he was winning the World Championship. LeMond took his natural talent and went out there, got his ass handed to him and kicked some ass too. I admire his jumping into the deep end when Sean Kelly and Bernard Hinault were already in the pool, waiting for him. I like Andy Schleck less because I sense he is relying more on his natural talent than hard work.
The guys I really admire are the ones who are dealt a less generous genetic hand and still make it into the professional ranks and get a little glory. Ludo Dierckxens is my kind of rider. He was working full time painting trucks at the DAF factory yet training after work and racing on the weekends. The selection to become a professional rider in Belgium must be the toughest in the world. At age thirty he signed his first contract for Saxon (?!) in 1994 and strung together professional contracts until he landed on Lampre in 1998. In 1999 he won the Belgian Road Championship and won the 11th stage in the Tour. Most professionals would be happy with those palmares.
Fabian Wegmann is another great rider to watch, he always looks to be on the edge of anaerobic destruction, dying just to stay on a wheel. I can relate to that.
But enough of the professionals, I’m a little sick of them right now. We are the ideal cyclists. We ride for the fun rather than the money. We get all the pleasure and as much pain as we care to endure and then as much as it takes to get back to the house. It is perfect.
Early on as a cyclist I understood I had chosen my parents badly. I wasn’t paying attention. I take that bit of information, fold it up and put it away in a drawer when I go out on the bike. I am still healthy enough to ride myself into the ground. Occasionally I can outsmart someone, or scrub off less speed in the corners or use my awesome mass to distance people on descents. I may get shelled when the road goes up but I’m going to look good when it happens. I take my quiet little victories when I can.
This video is a bit the of 2006 Giro Lombardia. Wegmann is the last man still with il Grillo as the race gets serious. Wegmann drops his flash light deep in the pain cave. Enjoy.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZUwQSQHiKs[/youtube]
Gianni!!!!!!!!! Yes, what timing! I have been mulling over a bunch of this stuff, as I’ve finally, finally pulled myself away from the bike and focussed on getting my goddamn self out of college, finally.
The timing of this couldn’t be better for me! Thanks for the words & the thoughts.
Ha, I don’t want to be PRO either. And I played competitive sports that weren’t always fun for most of my life. I am determined to keep cycling wholly, or at least mostly, fun.
Very interesting comment on Schleck as well. Hmm, makes me wonder if he is half-arsing things.
I was thinking of where to put this during my morning cyclocommute & here is a perfect piece for such ruminations. Thank you, Gianni! And aside from the nice writing I’ve now learned of two new grinders. I love guys who get by with hardfuckingwork. I’d like to consider myself such a lad. Not the tallest (ha, I’m 171cm!), strongest, or fastest. But I did hone my skills and got to the top level of my favorite (former) sport. I’m pretty proud of that. Ha, and it doesn’t hurt that the current Player of the Year in the U.S. is from my school/team. He’s makin’ me look even better.
What I’ve been pondering is how my status as a Follower has/might have changed in the past few weeks. I’ve been doing a lot of work and dedicating my focus & energy on that. I don’t like not riding but if I can finish this project it’ll be a huge step for me in many ways.
But, I feel a bit guilty. I find myself wondering if I can call myself a Velominati if I’m not riding six days a week, like I used to. I also have, of course, lost some form. It’s only early autumn and my bibs feel a bit girdle-like, as I haven’t quite scaled back my intake to meet my new less-active lifestyle.
I’m riding less & definitely two months from peaking. But, I don’t want to be PRO. Just be able to ride long and hard and kinda fast. I know I can ride just 3 or 4 days a week and stay/return to decent form. And the odd thing is that when I do get to ride these days I really appreciate it, as opposed to doing it daily and sometimes feeling it was a grind. And, I also get a thrill out of pulling on my kit and pulling out a nice bike. That’s gotten better with less riding.
I guess I’m asking how some of you handle less riding. I know some of you train daily and race and love that. I also know some of you just ride for fun, leisure, and the occasional Communing with Butterflies. I guess I’m worried that I might have to turn in my V-membership card because I’m not hammering it daily for 2-3 hours. I did that for a few years since I had fewer commitments and more time, as I was fucking off with my work.
I still feel that passion, but I almost feel a bit like an imposter since I can’t ride as much as I used to and since my form has slipped.
I am lucky if I can ride one day a week, my bib-shorts are somewhat more snug than they should be and I’m slower than a glacier, but I’ll be fucked if anyone says I’m not a Velominati!!
Every now and then, when I have good legs, I can ride a 12-year-old off of my wheel. I still have hope.
@Oli Hear, hear! I’ve not really ridden properly in a month but it doesn’t change what I am.
@Gianni, there’s enough stuff that I blame my parents for so I’m going to put the fact that I’m not a pro down to drinking, smoking and generally arsing around too much in my late teens and early twenties. Obviously, if I’d wanted to, I could have been a pro.
Great piece Gianni! Lots of almost-but-not-quite guys out there. I think wee Paolo was the only WC to actually rock the all-white kit. Maybe it s his size – Thor was too big to be wearing all white. Boogerd looked pretty good in the Dutch champ’s jersey too.
@Ron
Ron, obviously riding is the core activity of the velominatus. However, circumstances both seen and unforseen can really have an impact on that. What remains, no matter how many kilometers are ridden, is the attitude and adherence to the rules. Should you remain true to these, you shall remain a velominatus.
“But enough of the professionals, I’m a little sick of them right now. We are the ideal cyclists. We ride for the fun rather than the money. We get all the pleasure and as much pain as we care to endure and then as much as it takes to get back to the house. It is perfect..”
Can I be the first to say this is brilliant?
Brilliant.
I chose my parents very wisely. It was the other decisions that were stupid.
When my grandfather, quite the fast swimmer, had a VO2Max back in Eastern Germany, he blew the puny measurement device apart. It was, apparently, not rated for more than 50ml/kg/min (Greg LeMan had over 85, apparently). My mother, these days national 70.3 and Ironman champion, also has hers in the upper 50s.
It was I who chose to waste my teenage years on the couch, and therefore I have to pay the price and chase hard to make up for the lost years.
@Oli
Ha, YES! Perfect. This sets me straight & puts me in the right mindset. Hope everyone has a great weekend planned or…unfolding.
@wiscot
Hey wiscot. This was very much a “seen” one. Finishing up the final step of graduate school. A self-driven project at this point so for too long I rode my bike like crazy to feel accomplished each day, but did little work. Now I realize it’s time to get crackin’. A wife & a new house, both great, but it’s time to move along. Plus, I could be getting paid for the work I’m doing as soon as I finish! Very good motivation.
I will not waver in attitude or adherence! I felt that yesterday. I only rode for an hour, it was an errands ride with a few stops, but damn, it felt great to be outside, in nice kit, and on a nice, finely tuned bike.
Thanks for the words of wisdom! And, in reality, if I’m just efficient with my time I can still ride most days of the week!
@Ali McKee
awesome.
LOVE the shout out to Ludo Dierckxens!!! That guy is such a fooookin hardman! Loved him from when I first became aware of him during the 2001 Paris-Roubaix and that goofyass helmet he wore. Guy just exudes hardness. Per Paul Sherwin, all of Ludo’s friends “made” him go pro as he was just killing everyone on the weekends and working away during the week at a blue collar job. Now that is class.
@Oli
YES!!! A-Merckx to that shit!
@Chris
+1.
I chose parents, who at the age of 56 and 59 had to have knee replacements, and took the metabolism from my mom, who gains weight, merely by looking at food, whilst my dad eats and drinks more than me, while doing no exercise whatsoever, and still manages to weigh a good 25 kg less than me. Bastard.
@Ron
I did an organized two day event recently. I had a flat from a tiny sliver of glass soon after the beginning of the second day. As I was changing tubes, a motorcycle support guy pulled up.
Support guy – “You look like a rider that has everything you need, but I have a floor pump if that will make things easier.”
I took advantage of the floor pump and then noticed and commented that all the riders had passed me by and were well up the road.
Support guy – “Well, I don’t think you will have any problem catching up.”
His impressions were 100% from following The VVay and 0% from my form.
@Ron
Clearly there are people here who work in riding into their every day life. I see some of them posting on Strava.
However, it’s easy to lose the forest for the trees on here, especially when one of the key passtimes of Velominati is to take the piss out of each other over riding, following the rules, being hard, and all that.
Ride as much as you can to still enjoy it, no more and no less. I’m currently struggling with the transition from summer riding (when I can ride as much as I feel like) to winter riding, when I’m more constrained by work and the weather. Some of that summer riding volume is replaced by trainer rides after work, but that is a poor replacement and even a hard trainer session doesn’t replace the simple pleasure of riding the commute to/from work.
I’ve had one good ride in the last two weeks and it’s killing me, but that’s how it goes some times. Just don’t go months without touching the bike and you’ll be fine.
My father always used to point out that with my ancestry I was lucky that I was capable of wiping my own arse…I may have exceeded his expectations somewhat.
@itburns
When I run across random cyclists on my rides I get constantly asked about what team I ride for, and comments like “haha you’ll probably drop me on this next hill up here”, that sort of thing. It’s pretty funny actually what people assume when you look put together. I guess its sort of like walking into an office and seeing the guy in a suit vs. the guy in the shorts and stained v-neck shirt.
It blows me away because I’m not what I’d consider fast. I’m certainly faster than a lot of recreational cyclists, but when I ride with racers I have to really work to hang on. I did a roller ride with @scaler911’s team last weekend and was busting my ass just to stay in visual contact with the bunch when we really starting going up and down the hills.
Hard work will do a lot to overcome genetics. My dad was in pretty good shape before he got sick and died, and my mom has always been a small lady. However I remember when I started cycling a few years back just how hard it was to even go a few miles down the road and back.
I think about that now when I can go an bust out over 100ks on any day I want without a problem and it sort of blows me away. And it makes me feel that all the time I do dump into riding pays off, even if some days I still feel slow.
@Chris
Almost all of us did too much arsing around in late teens and early twenties. I did realize early on I sure didn’t have the hard-ass discipline to train as much as would be required either.
@tessar You, my friend, suck. I want your parents. Luckily, the time wasted on the couch doesn’t really matter. The best (?) US marathon runner, Bill Rodgers used to watch the race while smoking cigs. It somehow occurred to him maybe he should try running. Especially with endurance sports, where you don’t peak until late twenties and early thirties, you can arse* around a lot.
*my new favorite expression
@itburns
So you mean he wasn’t offering you a “sticky bidon”? Hell, I would have grabbed his taillight and held on for dear life!
Wow. The look on Wegmann’s face after 3:55 as the cricket chirps up the road is staggering. THAT is why I will always love this sport.
@Ali McKee
Thanks! I’m glad you like that. It does seem true though. We have it all. We can look pro but not live their rather weird lives. And drink more beer from V-pints then they are allowed.
@Gianni
Arseing around is the state passtime of Hawaii, is it not? Island time and all that?
@mcsqueak In a word, yes.
@Jeff in PetroMetro My 15 yr old drops me like a rock on the climbs. But, I look good on the descent. Here’s hoping the hardwork I put in now will pay off in a couple years when I can race as a 60+ Masters.
@Mikeweb
+1
@Gianni My mom was always miffed that none of her kids did sports with her, so she gifted me an alu Trek for my 18th. It took me nearly two years of casual commuting until I agreed to buy proper clip-less shoes and a pair of shorts. Within a month I could make it up our toughest local climb (slowly and panting, but I managed!) and soon after, I could match and eventually drop her. Things have been going uphill since, as they should for a fella as tall and light as a Schleck or Brownlee.
I followed her footstep into triathlon and indeed, when it comes to running and cycling, I’m within touching distance of the local elite, who’ve been at it for years. Within a year, I expect to out-gun them on the bike (already matching the best bike-splits) and hit the 38-minute mark for a 10km run. My limiter is swimming, where technique and background matter more than having an aerobic engine the size of a freight train. That said, I do enjoy getting on the bike at the back of the pack, knowing I will hunt them down, one by one.
When I ride the road-bike, however, I’ve got the pro look nailed. Nu-uh, I won’t embarrass a peloton with my beloved compression sleeves or ludicrous, if effective, bottle mounts.
@mcsqueak
They probably have a more mellifluous word for it than “arsing around.”
Great topic Gianni. “Enough of the professionals” — spot on.
@Ron
There wouldn’t be very many Velominati if ridings 6x a week were a requirement.
Speaking of great pain faces, CA Sorenson:
@Gianni
Yeah, this is a particularly sparkling part of the piece. Nice going, Gianni. Right on. They do live rather weird lives!
And I actually don’t think I spent enough time in my late teens and early twenties arsing around. Maybe that’s why I had the time & energy to do it in my late twenties, as I blossomed into a Velominatus.
mcsqueak – “Ride as much as you can to still enjoy it, no more and no less.” I’m going to keep this in mind all the time for the next few weeks. And the next few weeks after that. Very, very good advice.
Nate – Hmm, I think you’re right. I guess I was just fortunate to have a very flexible schedule the past few years and I really, really lived it up. Now that I’m back to reality I’m have a bit of a hard time not feeling guilty about riding less. But, it’s an overall healthy move for me to work more & ride less right now.
Cool.
Just need one of those Mavic Ducati bikes to motorpace around with. Carry a photographer and spare wheels.
@Ron
I just accept it as the landscape I live and work with in real life. I am an academic and try to slip out the door early for a mid-week ~1 hr, 15 to 20 km ride, and get something ~ 2 or 3hrs in over the weekend, either Sat or Sun…once in a while both days. I did not race this year, but focused on century/metrics as free weekends allowed. Got into a CX race a couple weeks ago to justify holding a license this year. Hope to get a couple more 30 min suffer-fests in before it expires in Dec. Still, I’m closing in on 3,200 km for the year so I feel pretty good overall, not as good as some…but better than a whole lot of others. Its all relative, and keeping with the theme of this thread, most of the time your really don’t get to choose them and have to work with what (whom) you were born with.
Mavic Service Moto
Voiture balai — Having the broom wagon following you is one of the most demoralizing experiences for any racer.
Here’s the next car for the family. We do need another car, so it may as well carry bikes.
Mavic Support — Amateurs challenge the Paris-Roubaix cobbles (video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvJggiOXvYU&feature=player_embedded
Last one — Paris-Roubaix Challenge 2012 (video)
Let me put it that way: We (or at least most of us) are spending money to ride for the fun!
GREAT article Gianni! It’s a thought that’s often with me: whether I’m being dropped on the Tuesday night training bash or grinding slowly up an alpine climb whilst communing with butterflies: it’s all my parents fault!
Nothing to do with the fact that I’m always two months from peaking, my poor diet and excessive alcohol consumption. If only they had blessed me with better genes then I’d be flying up those climbs like il Pirata (only without the performance enhancing and recreational drugs of course, just in case anyone else accuses me of worshiping fallen heroes).
The associated thought that I often comfort myself with is that it’s much harder for us average cyclists than it is for the pros.
Take something like a typical mountain stage of the Tour. Five hours perhaps for a pro. But for me: up to eight hours. But the key thing is this: we will both be working at a roughly similar intensity level relative to our genetic abilities, but him for only five hours versus eight for me.
So, who are the real Hard men and women? The pros? Or us, who will still be flogging ourselves up those climbs three hours after the pro has had his shower, post ride massage and is safely aboard his luxury team bus on his way to the hotel?!
@Mikeweb
oh man, the pain on his face. That is bike racing. Unbelievable.
Nice one Gianni my friend… ultimately, we ride for fun. The pain and suffering may seem like the furthest thing from fun as we endure it, but the rewards when we come out the other side are well worth it.
In the last two days I’ve had two of the funnest rides recently (and there have been a lot). Both totally unplanned and opportunistic. After a day of working behind a computer with wind and cloud, the sun peeped through and the gusts died down around 6pm. I wrestled with the ‘shall I/shan’t I’ demons and got on my mtb for a quick loop of a favorite trail. I rode hard on the climb and bombed the downhill, crashing at one point. I came home feeling no matter if I didn’t get to ride again for a few days, that I still had a complete week.
The next day, a full day in the shop and a shitty disposition due to a huge car repair bill, all I wanted was to have a couple of beers. I saw two of Spoke’s reviewers kitting up for a ride, had a chat and wished I was going out too. Still, beer seemed necessary. I called in at my mate’s shop for the regular Friday social drinks. A couple beers later and an invite for a night ride was put out. More beers and the promise of “a little, easy loop”… 3 hours later, on no food, water run out, motor senses put to the test on trails I’d never ridden, hammered by climbing gurus and I arrived home at 11pm with the feeling of a best-ever ride.
That’s what it’s all about.
@Mikeweb
and the emotion of Bettini shown slo-mo in the last thirty seconds. That also captures the beauty and pain endured in our sport. I love Italian cyclists, they know true passion and emotion.
@wiscot Cipollini wore all white, even in the rain!
Great post, Gianni. Hammering home yesterday (late) with backpack and bow tie, I blew past a kid kitted out for a proper ride. He made some comment about me on a singlespeed passing him. I wish I’d just called back: “It’s the genes,” instead of some apologetic “I’m in a hurry and probably not going as far as you…”
But save a thought for state of mind (which needn’t be genetic). Today, in cold and windy conditions at the end of an incredibly hectic week, I got kitted out in Johnny Cash Black, three weeks from having adhered to Rule #50, and put in 2.5 hours. It wasn’t about looking fabulous, and while I’m sure I owe a great deal to my parents for any athletic ability I might have, the ride had more to do with will and determination to get out in the first place. That’s not genetic: it’s cultivated.
@ken
I’m sure we are as fried or more so after a long ride. We are working as hard but going slower so we actually suffer a lot longer. I bet no pro would be as wasted as I am after my Sunday group ride. What does all that mean? Who knows.
@Oli
Cipo gets a pass, on everything. He is Cipo.
@czmiel
True, but after the initial bike purchase it starts to get pretty cheap on the cost/fun ratio.