I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Perfect timing. As you were posting this, I was deep in the mist of the plak-tow: the blood fever. With hands greasy from disassembling my speedplays to prepare for their bearing overhaul, I tackled the long awaited conversion of bike #2 to 10 speed. Having collected the needed parts, I just need to throw myself at it.

    And MerckxDammit - it works. From 8 speed to 10 speed. All by my little self. The Keepers have shown me the Path. How good it is to walk each cobble. VLVV.

  • "I love the... aroma of it."

    Bent over the bike last night hooking the track pump to the front valve, I caught a whiff of my bar tape. I cannot say I love the aroma of it. Changing it this afternoon.

  • It breaks me down when I'm overconfident, it builds me up when I'm insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should be a stronger man.

    Having experienced the bold section of the first sentence 7 weeks ago, it took all of 10 seconds after getting to the end of the driveway on this morning's return to get to the second part of the sentence.

    2 minutes later as the cold air absolutely seared my airways from the back of my throat to the lowest depths of my lungs, I knew all about the second sentence again.

  • @Marcus

    Frank you have taken anthropomorphism to a new level. Well done - but more than a little weird.

    I'm not sure whether you have reached this point yet, but if your bike ever starts talking back to you, then it could be time for an intervention.

    Anthropomorphism and ten feet of seatpost? What are you trying to say?

  • Deep. Not Miles Davis deep - Ahmad Jamal kind of deep. A Love Supreme deep. Sun Ra type deepness. Sitting at a cafe post 40km ride in the rain on your own and a good double shot machiatto with sun peeking through illuminating the steaming curves of my titanium princess - style deep.

    Top post Frank. I get it. Not weird. Much.

  • Meh, this is one area where I'm with COTHO. I see the beauty of them as design, I appreciate the functionality and of course I love riding but I don't feel that much for the bike, other than as a tool.

    Probably more than Oscar felt for women though...

  • @Smithers
    You speak my language! I would contend few have gone as deep as Trane. I don't think Miles did. Trane was playing in some state of pained exaltation. Albert Ayler perhaps. Some of Kalaparusha's early work. I'll stop digressing though.

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