Lean In, Lean Out

Lean casually.

I profess to understand every mannerism and habit of the Cyclist. I’m Dutch, and I’m a writer, so it all comes pretty naturally. The problem is that thinking you understand something and actually understanding it are two completely different things; the first is confidence, the second is wisdom; there is no Venn diagram that has an intersection between the two. As we move inexorably towards 2016, I humbly seek to temper my confidence with a (light) dusting of hubris.

I’ll start off, a full three days shy of 2016, with my first acknowledgement of not understanding why we do certain things: this leaning against stuff rather than unclipping business. When I say “things”, I mean objects like fences, light poles, cars, other riders, small marking wands that under no circumstances can hold the weight of a Cyclist, rubbish bins, traffic cones and any other paraphernalia that looks inviting.

It is an undeniable fact that Eddy looks entirely badass in this photo, leaning away like putting a foot down on the tarmac would be an affront to the soles of his shoes. There is, of course, a good reason for it: he finally got his toe clips and straps sorted just perfectly, and he is not about to start over on that sordid affair just to avoid putting his handprint on the team car. We, the modern Cyclist, have clipless pedals and they are quite easy to sort and there is very little at risk when it comes to unclipping, apart from the humility of making a balls of it and falling over like a twunt.

Which brings me back to this irresistible desire we have to not unclip from our pedals. Twunt Tumbles aside, there is really no good reason for us not to unclip any time we come to a halt, a practice which itself should admittedly be kept to a minimum. Unclipping is a prime opportunity to demonstrate to the world our ability to Wait Properly. But none of us want to do it. We’d rather wobble about in some sort of balancing act as if putting a foot down were admitting defeat to gravity or the coriolis effect or some other such nonsense.

And careful with the car lean, you might just piss off the wrong driver.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Oli says:

Dec 29 2015 at 2:27 am

So now we have to worry what the fucking morons in cars think of us? Fuck that! Trackstanding is the fucking LEAST of what they hate about us. This thread is fully maing.
PT says:

Dec 29 2015 at 2:58 am

@Oli

So now we have to worry what the fucking morons in cars think of us? Fuck that! Trackstanding is the fucking LEAST of what they hate about us. This thread is fully maing.

Jesus & Mohammed man, who gives a flying continental about car drivers? Its the girls in the cafes Oli, the girls in the cafes. Or even better, the girls in the peloton. Still, you're probably right, even the girls in the peloton aren't impressed by trackstands.

Unclip and wait properly.
Oli says:

Dec 29 2015 at 3:40 am

@PT
If you're doing them to impress anybody else you're dreaming, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do them.

From my car I've seen terrible wobbly trackstands and impressive rock solid ones at both bad moments and perfectly timed, but I judge them on their individual merits. I don't want them all to stop because some people are shit at it; by that logic most of shouldn't be doing most things, including cycling!
Oli says:

Dec 29 2015 at 3:43 am

A list of things that might impress only us small band of fanatics:

1. Bicycle brands

2. Lycra

3. Cyclists

I guess trackstands fit as a subset within 3.
Owen says:

Dec 29 2015 at 6:27 am

@Chipomarc

@frank

@Haldy

@frank– So what you are saying is that you never learned how to trackstand?

I can track stand. I saw a kid do it in flip flops a good few years back and decided it was time. But I hate myself for it. And at the same time always try to avoid unclipping. It is so easy to clip in, I simply don’t understand this compulsion of ours.

If those guys trackstanding at the stop light only knew how dorky they look they just might stop doing it.

This is exactly what I was going to say. There are very few things more goofy looking than a roadie doing a track stand at the light. Most of the time he (or she) wobbles around and slowly meanders into and out of the intersection, bike lane, turn lane, etc instead of just unclipping and taking a seat on the top tube.
wiscot says:

Dec 29 2015 at 6:50 am

Dammit Frank, you're reading my mind. I just penned a piece (yet to be sent to Gianni) about clips and straps.

Most of my routes rarely involve traffic lights so unclipping is a rare thing. And those I do encounter can be seen from far enough away to time arrival on green.

I used to do the "hold" on vehicles but only trucks and vans. I avoided holding onto cars that were occupied by the (likely) owner.
chuckp says:

Dec 29 2015 at 7:38 am

Unclipping and putting your foot down is perhaps the best opportunity to exude casual deliberateness. Isn't this how we all look when we're waiting at a stop light?
bea says:

Dec 29 2015 at 7:59 am

I have the wisdom to unclip. A very painful demolishment of my hubris taught me that.

It didn't cure me of leaning against stuff though...
emerson says:

Dec 29 2015 at 9:59 am

@Oli

Maybe this thread will become focused on pedals.
cognition says:

Dec 29 2015 at 10:03 am

Odd. I rarely if ever lean up against something or hold on to something, but I do trackstand at red lights if the road surface allows it. I enjoy the brief challenge of balancing. I never thought much about what other people think of it. If you do it well -- not weaving tentatively all over the place -- why is it dorky?