Velominati: You Must Obey

What motivates a Velominatus?  It seems a simple question, but the answer is complicated and gets into various issues that are neither interesting nor compelling.

For me, cycling has been a life-long obsession.  I enjoy any kind of riding.  I enjoy technical, single-track mountain biking, I enjoy riding on dirt roads or wide trails.  I enjoy commuting by bike, and I enjoy riding my bike to the local markets. I love riding an old clunker bike around a city like Amsterdam.  But my heart has always belonged to road cycling.

When I was a kid, my dream was to start a frame-building business.  In my free time, I sketched bicycles – anything from standard road bikes to exotic time trial machines.  I even designed logos for my imagined company, humbly named Strack Cycles.  When not designing frames, the next priority was to dream up the names and kits for the teams Strack Cycles would invariably sponsor.

When time allowed during the Summer months, I would go for multiple training rides per day, some on the road, and some off. Officially a Nordic ski racer, I realized that I had become a cyclist when the shortening of the days as Fall approached was met with dread that the cycling season was coming to a close rather than excitement for the imminent ski season.

Long hours on the road bike were filled with fantasies of being in day-long solo breakaways at the Tour de France; motivation to climb aboard my bike in the rain was eased by imagining I was racing in a Belgian Spring classic.

Such are the motivations of this particular Velominatus.

Then came Velominati.  We've carried on long conversations.  We've established our own vernacular. Most of us are probably on some psychiatric “People of Interest” list.  And, we have our own kit. In addition to bearing the Velominati colors and logos, the kit bears various details that only those of us in the know will appreciate:  the “Obey the Rules” emblem appears in various places, and the right leg of the bibs bear three Rules, referred to only by number and oriented such that they are legible for the wearer.  We modestly believe it to be the most awesomest kit on the planet, ever.

A non-nondescript box greeted me upon my arrival home from work yesterday.  The box bore a simple, handwritten note: “Velominati – You Must Obey”, signalling the arrival of the first order of the Velominati Kit (which leads me to believe the folks at Castelli subscribe to Rules Holism). My hands were shaking as I opened the box and gazed in at the oblique realization of a lifelong dream.

With that, I present the Velominati kit, made by Castelli and designed by KRX-10. We'll be placing more orders throughout the year, so just drop us a line if you'd like to put the whole Rule #17 issue to bed and fly the Velominati colors.

UPDATE: I have updated the set of photos in the post to more accurately reflect the colors of the actual kit.  The kit is black, and in no way brownish or purple, as some of the photos appear to be.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Velominati Kit Arrival/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Rob, @john
    They are even more awesome than the pictures and the design hinted at. They are all in the mail. Their arrival is imminent.

    For the record, some of the pictures make it look like the kit might have a purple tint to it; it is black, baby. Well, almost. It's very, very dark gray. The same color as the the dark banners and buttons on the site. In fact, all the colors are based on the site's design.

  • @Jarvis
    Despite some really cool years in racing - like the NORBA years with Julie Furtado, John Tomac, and Ned Overend, I'm with you completely on this: it's just hard to get into mountain bike racing.

    I think a big part of that is the rich history, tradition, and mythology that surrounds road cycling. Mountain Biking just doesn't have that same je ne c'est quoi.

  • @frank I don't think the money disappearing from MTBing around the turn of the century and the loss of the MTB teams makes it harder to form an allegiance with riders. Somehow teams help with that, you add team rivalry to individual one-on-one.

    Besides, XC racing is so dull to watch on TV, as bad a time-trial.

  • So, last night's conversation in our household goes something like this:

    Wife: I bought something a little bad today.
    Me (alarmed): Oh? What?
    Wife (with guilty look on face): More shoes.
    Me (increasingly alarmed): Like you need more shoes! What type?
    Wife (laughing): These. (Holds up pair of bright pink patent leather knee high boots.)
    Me (after recoeving my poise): WTF?!
    Wife: (Laughs)
    Me: Well in that case I'm going to buy something too.
    Wife (alarmed): Oh? What?
    Me (with guilty look on face): More bike kit.
    Wife (increasingly alarmed): Like you need more bike kit! What type?
    Me (laughing): Velominati kit.
    Wife: WTF?!
    Me: At least it's not pink.

    Will get an order off to you shortly, Frank.

  • I'm looking to scrape up the dough for the official Velominati jersey. I dig it.

    I think many of us have dreamed of building frames. For me, the pieces of the puzzle started forming early - before the notion even entered my defective head. In school, I took drafting and pre-engineering classes, plus many metal shop and welding classes. Then add in gear head motorcycle and car stuff, finally topped off with a few bike shop years, a few zillion miles of riding, and the insane amount of bicycle related reading and research. And with all that, I never attempted to build a frame. I'd dig taking a frame building course someday.

    My thinking over the last few years has changed however. My dream (one of many) still revolves around starting a bike company. However I won't be manning the torch. Like oh so many companies today, I'd contract out my design to be manufactured elsewhere. Look how Hampsten does it: http://www.hampsten.com/

    Other option would be off-shore, like most other places. Same soul as the one man or small US shop? No. Still super quality, low production frames? Yes. Unless you really, really like metal work - which frame building is - be more fun on the marketing/design side. No?

    As for mountain bike XC racing - for sure, the old school NORBA days were the best. I followed all of it back then, it was a cool era. The big sponsor XC days appear to be over. As far as boring to watch, that's all in the eye of the beholder.

    A few XC related DVDs worth checking out are 24 Solo, Off Road to Athens, and Race Across the Sky. All do a pretty cool job of documenting XC racing without being boring. I am biased though, XC mountain biking is still super cool to me.

    Once again, gentleman - cool blog and feedback from all.

  • On TV, I also prefer to watch road racing. Live, I think XC MTB might have the edge. It certainly did the day Paola Pezzo came to Wellington in the early 90's and won the World Cup race around our favourite tracks on Mt Victoria. Though that may have had more to do with Paola (and her gold lyrcra shorts) than the racing.

  • @Geof

    Way to take the Velominati kit exclusivity from me in Welly!

    The World Cup on Mt Vic was 98. It was also Cadel's first WC win. A mate of mine was his mechanic, and we got his used Diamond Back bikes at the end of the season to use or sell. There's still one kicking around in Newcastle.

    I had one of his T-shirts too, with 'CE' in marker pen on the label... it was a SRAM ESP Grip Shift shirt, pretty cool... ended up as rags.

  • @Geof
    Kudos on the very wiley domestic tactics that scored the new kit! I am using the old chestnut of "Oh look what came today - you remember I ordered it last winter?" It may be a cool start to a hot summer.

  • @brett
    OK. Thanks. That way I won;t breach Rule #58.

    Was the '98 WC the second time they'd run it here or the first? The one I was thinking of, when Paola raced, was the first one they held here. We hired a couple of pro DHers to take some of us and some clients who were MTBers around the course. The DHers brought spot prizes. We asked them to only give them to our clients. But they gave me the best one - a new helmet - for my "endo with three metre fall and half twist onto waiting instructor not quick enough to get out of the way", which I completed (with all the grace of a dead chook) on the chute which dropped into the Velodrome. Then a few days later I watched all the pros ride the chute effortlessly at pace and in the wet. I realised then that I could never date Paola.

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago