Rule 43: Don’t be a Jackass

Not being a jackass seems simple enough in spirit but can be difficult to operationalize. Waving to another cyclist because they are on a bike and not ‘the right’ kind of bike reduces your jackassness. But what if that cyclist is clearly riding his daughter’s bike to work because he probably got a third DUI? Taking the time to at least say hello to, if not get to know, everyone in your Tuesday night group ride is another. Especially if you’re the guy who lays the group to waste. The one I struggle with is not escalating tiffs with jackass motorists.

And yet another is living La Vie Velominatus by organizing events, building community, and providing cyclists opportunities to do what they love, en masse, simply because you love it when people ride bikes. Chris Skogen, the organizer of Minnesota’s Almanzo 100, is such a Velominatus. I do not know Chris and only briefly met him and saw him in action this past weekend, but he’s the type of person who exudes stoke for cycling (especially Gravelling) as one of the ambassadors of the Midwest’s gravel scene. Along with the other organizers of the Ragnarok 105 and Heck of the North, Skogen, the lead on the Almanzo 100, Royal 162, and Gentleman’s Ride, is a key figure in an extraordinary series of races.

This year was my fist entry into the Almanzo. One thing that sets it apart from the Heck of the North is that entry is not limited by numbers of riders. It seems anybody who signs up via postcard between the specified dates gets a slot, whereas the Heck is limited by lottery. Planning and budgeting for this must be a challenge as the race is totally free. Yes, read it again, free. Free stuff is good but when stuff is free expectations have nowhere to go but up. What Skogen offers in terms of support, SWAG, and hospitality could easily come at a premium and often does at races. He has done a fantastic job garnering sponsors and community supporters who all make the racers feel welcomed and appreciated. I can only hope that other riders expressed their gratitude to the locals as well.

I’ll spare you a race/ride report. Instead, I’ll try to provide you with a sense of the place the race occurs. Imagine the farm fields of Flanders periodically dipping down into numerous pastoral river valleys. Add to that the white gravel roads of Tuscany raced over in Il Strada Bianche and you’re pretty much there. These are not intermittent sectors of gravel but a continuous network of crushed limestone endemic to the area that intertwine for what must be thousands of miles. Over the course of the race I’d estimate not more than 10k were ridden on tarmac. The deep little river valleys are beautiful and thrilling places to descend into and provide really challenging climbs as they peter out onto gently rolling farmland above. This is especially true given the loose gravel. Comfort climbing in the saddle is a prerequisite to prevent tire slippage. Furthermore, the rolling farm land was no respite from the steep little climbs on race day as the wind was blowing at a sustained 40kph and gusting to 55. I was pushing the 34-17 on my ALAN to go downhill at times and nearly blown over or off the road several times.

The gravel is loose and deep compared to the more compacted gravel I’m used to in the northern part of the state. This early in the season it has also been freshly graded and added to by the local municipalities after a punishing winter. I had arrived the night before the race with my lucky Open Pave’s from the Keepers Tour mounted to my cross bike. After the pre-race Spaghetti feed I decided to recon some of the local gravel. Thankfully I’d thrown my Michelin CX-Jet tires in at the last minute as skinny road tires were much less than confidence inspiring. Descending these roads at 50+ and cornering would be downright sketchy so I hurried to remount my “fatties” before dark. I heard several first time riders who’d ridden road tires after the race comment that they wouldn’t be doing that again.

But back to not being a Jackass. In addition to an extremely well organized and SWAG’d-out event, Skogen seemed to be everywhere. He greeted everyone at the door of the spaghetti feed, welcomed each rider to the start line (before leading the entire field in a chorus of Happy Birthday to his 6-year old son, Jack), was seen at numerous places on the course encouraging riders, and welcomed each of us to the finish line with a handshake and a smile. His countless army of red-shirted volunteers were warm of heart and always smiling. He commented to me before the start that he felt terribly that he’d only rented three porta-potties as we looked at the line of 50 or so waiting to relieve themselves pre-race. I laughed and said I’d just come from the line and heard nothing but easy banter and a laid-back aesthete. He walked over and apologized to everyone in line anyways. It was apparent to me that the Almanzo is truly a labor of love for Chris and he approached it and the riders with kindness and humility.

There are so many things that we can step back and say cycling is about. The Bike, Rule #5, tradition, culture, the list goes on.The Almanzo covers all these bases handily. I ‘d posit that perhaps, though, it is really about Rule #43. If we really want people to enjoy riding bikes let’s not start by telling them to Harden the Fuck Up, shave their guns, or remove that fugly YJA. They will choose that path for themselves in due time. Let’s start by not being a jackass. If being kind is too much for you, you can at least not be a jackass. We could stand to take a lesson from Chris Skogen and welcome all comers – hard or soft, shaved or hairy. We’re not telling you to go out and create a badass race requiring heaps of Rule #5 that attracts some pretty strong riders on cool-ass bikes. We’re just saying that however you engage with cycling – including on this site – don’t be a jackass.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/marko@velominati.com/Almanzo 2012/”/]

Here’s a link to some great photos of the race.

I Strava’d my ride but my phone battery shit the bed at Km 118. Have a look if you care to here.

 

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

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  • Wow, Marko! This looks & sounds like a really incredible event. I'd love to ride in this sort of race.

    Some gear questions - I've been wanting to try that tape. It's the fizik logo tape? While I'm generally a fan of less commotion and more simplicity, I like it for some reason. (and the Prologo tape too) How's it feel - like traditional cork or like the thin fizik stuff? What size tires did you go with?

    As for Rule 43 - yes, a big A-Merckx! I'm still learning far too much myself and developing in many ways as a cyclist to Be a Dick. I might adhere to the Rules and revere them but I'm never one to scoff at other cyclist because of something small. Maybe it's because I do all sorts of riding, from road to cross to commuting to around town, that I don't turn my nose at other cyclists for the small stuff.

    Two great experiences this past weekend along these lines. Saturday helped a dude repair a flat who admitted he was a rookie at it and didn't know if his mini-pump even worked. I sorted him out, gave him a bunch of tips in a few minutes to make his life easier, didn't do things like point out his triple, his cargo bag sized saddle bag or yell at him to clean his wheels so that my hands didn't get dirty & then soil my virginal Leaders Tape. My V-jersey is on the way but such an interaction will be even more important when I get one and am wearing it. I want to be a good representative of the Velominati. Sure, a Rule Follower, but not a dick.

    Sunday reminded me to not judge the book by the cover. Showed up to ride with a few pals and there was a new guy. He was riding a very new, very rad aero road bike with Di2. He wasn't really race fit either. "This guy doesn't ride. He's just got a pricey bike & he doesn't ride it enough." The guy then went out and lead a strong pace the entire way, pulling us along through the wind, keeping us working hard in a paceline, and generally Captain-ing the ride. Plus, he was a good dude who knew how to ride his bike and was strong as hell despite a bit of extra weight. Reminded me to not be too judgmental.

    Thanks for the write-up and the words of wisdom, Marko!! Nice one.

  • Sounds like a classy event. I have a long, gravel rail trail four doors from my house, which is a terrific entry point to all kinds of single-track riding (and, the other way, my commute to work). Limestone, too. I'd heard a few places, though, that limestone can be incredibly corrosive when left on bikes...

  • Nice ride Marko! Sounds like respect to all riders and behind the scenes. Nice vibe about the event.

  • @Oli
    Like the orange peeking through!
    You'll need some nice bar end plugs to go with that tape! Maybe something like this?.....

  • @RedRanger
    There was quite a variety but I'd say a good 90% were CX bikes, then a few road bikes (again, riding 160k of that limestone gravel on anything skinnier than a 28 is hair raising) - some mountain bikes and those god-awful Pugslies. I saw two tandems and one unicycle. Tandems make great wheels to suck but can't climb for shit.

    @G'rilla
    Not sure about that. I was squarely in the pain cave for the last 2 hours. The wind was absolutely like no other I've ridden in. Yes, I've ridden in strong winds but not that strong for that long.

    @versio
    This was something that really impressed me about the event. Skogen has a nice eye for design - from the post cards to t-shirt to website he puts together a really aesthetically pleasing "brand".

    @Bianchi Denti
    Indeed I think it may be. You're spot on about the style, the bikes (a proper CX or road bike with appropriate tires) is really all one needs, and the distances are all ideal. The scene here in the midwest is large as it's probably the most interesting type of riding around here since we don't have mountains or pave. The more I've been doing it the last four years or so the more I find myself gazing up gravel roads wondering where they lead, doing long recce rides on my moto to find new loops, and considering my gravel bike #1. In fact - I just recently decided to scrap a steel Colnago road build in favor of upgrading my ALAN and moving some gruppos/bro-sets around.

    @bugleboy21
    thanks to some Aloe-vera it surprisingly didn't hurt.

    @Ron
    We'd expect nothing less than a totally awesome fantastic enthusiastically cool roadside tire change lesson from you, Ron. Nice work.

    It is the soft touch fizik logo tape - leftovers from KT otherwise I may not have put it on. I really like the feel of it under hand. I've also become a huge fan of the fizik gel. Since applying it at KT I've also put it on my gravel bike. The gel provides a subtle just soft enough but not too soft feel. What I really like is the diameter increase. I'll always ride it.

    @Oli
    That's cool for the right bike. What is it?

    @all
    Thanks. Now get out there find some gravel and stop being jackasses!

  • @Marko
    Great article and timely reminder of Rule 43. Unfortunately we don't have anything like your gravel tracks in the UK, it's either full on tarmac or muddy farm tracks. There isn't really anywhere you can go off road on a road bike.

    I'm also a convert to the fizik dual tape since putting it on for the KT. I like the regular stuff but doesn't really work for me on longer rides or on the rollers where my hands go numb and it doesn't grip well without gloves when sweaty.

    It's sad that some of the worse jackassery on this site has coincided two of the most humbling and inspirational Guest Articles. @Ron is spot on with his post, the more cyclists the better even if only a few of them will ever find their way to following the rules. Encourage and help others but don't denigrate them. The only person you should be concerned about beating is yourself*.

    *Unless you're racing, of course.

  • Great write up and a timely reminder to us all.

    btw @Marko, that bike looks bloody huge!

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