The Dotted Jumper

Steven Rooks wearing the Dotted Jumper in 1988

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m too fat to climb and therefore admire those who aren’t, or if it has something to do with the masochistic nature of sprinting to the top of every hill during a three-week race, but the competition for the best climber in the Tour de France has long captured my imagination.

The ugliest of all jerseys, it is also somehow the coolest one, despite the many abominations that have been created in the recent trends of matching the rest of one’s kit to competition leader jerseys. Who would have the nerve to design a jersey made up of a pattern or red dots? The French, apparently.

I first noticed it in the 1988 and 1989 Tours. Here were these crazy, tall, lanky Dutchmen dominating the mountains. The Dutch are flat landers for whom, aside from those living in the Southern province of Limburg, the phrase “Living at Elevation” means living at three meters. But it turns out that tall Dutch guys can climb, as is routinely demonstrated by Robert Gesink in his countless mountain escapades – not to mention in yesterday’s finale up to Morzine-Avoriaz.

Recent memory has this jersey particularly stained by drug scandals, but a review of what is involved in challenging for – let alone winning – this jersey makes it somewhat easier to appreciate that a little dose of EPGo might help out. The jersey is decided based on points awarded at the summit of each categorized climb along the route based on the following scale (from Wikipedia):

Hors Catégorie climbs: 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, 10, 8, 7, 6 and 5 points respectively for the 1st until the 10th rider to climb the mountain.
First category climbs: 15, 13, 11, 9, 8, 7, 6 and 5 points respectively for the 1st until the 8th rider to climb the mountain.
Second category climbs: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 and 5 points respectively for the 1st until the 6th rider to climb the mountain.
Third category climbs and hills : 4, 3, 2 and 1 point, respectively for the 1st until the 4th rider to climb the hill.
Fourth category climbs (hills): 3, 2, and 1 point, respectively for the 1st until the 3rd rider to climb the hill.

Consider, then, the profiles of mountain stages like we’ll have tomorrow to St.-Jean-de-Maurienne, and the weight of this competition starts to weigh heavy on the legs. Climbing these mountains in the first place is hard enough, but to add a sprint to the top of them is something else altogether. Drugs or not, that requires a heaping spoonful of Rule #5 and an intimate exploration of the depths of Rule #10. Personally, I think JérÃ´me Pineau might just be mad enough to try for it this year, although it might also come down to Gesink if he were to give up his GC ambitions for the chance to take home the Spotted Tog.

In any case, whoever wins it will have my admiration. And then I’ll hold my breath in anticipation of the doping suspension.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Geof says:

Jul 13 2010 at 4:25 pm

@frank
Speaking of custom paint jobs for special bikes, just after Phil and Paul had mentioned that poor old Sammy Sandshoe doesn't get a special jersey despite being Olympic champ, the camera spent some time on a close-up of the man himself showing gold bar tape and a gold seat. Nice touch.

And, speakingof the Phil and Paul show, anyone else catch their interchange on the descent off Madeleine along these lines, re Sammy Sandshoe:

Phil: "Ooh, he's not much of a descender is he? He's really fighting it."
Paul (diplomatically): "Actually, he's normally a pretty good descender Phil".
Paul (less diplomatically, but after five mintues have passed so that Phil will have forgotten his previous nonsense): "Sanchez is an extremely good descender - one of the best in the business" (or words to that effect).

On a slow day it would be amusing. On an action-packed day of drama like today it's just silly.
frank says:

Jul 13 2010 at 4:59 pm

@Geof
Phil makes me mad and I love him at the same time. Paul is a star. The two of them, well...it's really all I know. And I love it. Phil, for me - at the end of the day - is the voice of cycling. Sherwin started to help out in '86, but all the awful overdubbed commentary for the first videos I had - '89 and '90 (which I wore out) were all just him. The soundtrack on the '89 video was just classic. Was that Kraftwerk?

Teeny Bettini had classy Gold Ladies instead of White Ladies:

And, in a slightly less sexy light:
Geof says:

Jul 13 2010 at 5:18 pm

@frank
WTF?!!!
frank says:

Jul 13 2010 at 5:26 pm

@Geof
It could be the light, but his back wheel doesn't look like the big winner from the deal.
Hawkeye says:

Jul 14 2010 at 12:25 pm

Just as a note on the scoring, and a de-digression (I love the digressions btw) they double the value of the points if it's a mountaintop finish. So it's very heavily skewed to the stages with mountaintop finishes. So Stages 14 & 17 are the key remaining ones for the dotted jumper.

Tourmalet baby! I'm excited just thinking about it.

And back to the digressions, think about all of the teams that have to destroy the custom kit they make "just in case" one of their boys gets a jersey! The bikes get paint jobs I'd reckon, but the clothes? Destroyed you'd think.
Pistolfromwarragul says:

Dec 1 2011 at 1:40 pm

Whilst I respect the traditions of the sport, the polka dot jersey is one tradition that I would not miss. The only things uglier are the dresses that the podium chicks have to wear when presenting the jersey!
Oli says:

Dec 2 2011 at 12:36 am

Bzzz, WRONG.
Dr C says:

Dec 2 2011 at 3:08 am

@Pistolfromwarragul
not even in a subtle way?
wiscot says:

Dec 2 2011 at 5:20 am

@Pistolfromwarragul
I thought those polka dot umbrella dresses were awesome! remember, they're for pr purposes and meant to get your attention. They certainly did that. There's really no need for any practical application unlike cycling gear where, I'll admit, the tendency to make everything yellow, green, dotty, pink, WC bands etc, etc is bad.Sometime, just the jersey alone with regular team kit is enough. 9I'd post examples of this if I had the skillz.
Buck Rogers says:

Dec 2 2011 at 5:25 am

@wiscot

@PistolfromwarragulI thought those polka dot umbrella dresses were awesome! remember, they're for pr purposes and meant to get your attention. They certainly did that. There's really no need for any practical application unlike cycling gear where, I'll admit, the tendency to make everything yellow, green, dotty, pink, WC bands etc, etc is bad.Sometime, just the jersey alone with regular team kit is enough. 9I'd post examples of this if I had the skillz.

Agree, love the Dotty Jumper and would love to jump a Dotty-Jumper-dressed-podium girl and play connect-the-dots as well!