Three days in, and it’s already been a brutal opening week of the Tour. I’ve never heard of the Tour neutralizing part of the stage unless a Schleck was involved, but I was relieved to understand that the reason for the neutralization had more to do with how many doctors were available for the second crash than it did with the riders’ safety. That’s a load off; for a second there I thought the sport was going soggy on us.

Fabian broke his back for the second time this season, which makes me wonder what his plans are for the rest of the year. Appenzeller and blackouts seems like a good place to start; I don’t think he needs any more memories. Nibbles and Quintannaroo missed the split on Stage 2 and lost over a minute. Froome humped a lightbulb like a maniac up the Mur de Huy to take some more time on everyone but J-Rod. My Merckx, Chris can make a bike go batshit fast but fuck me if he doesn’t make it look absolutely horrendous. If everyone looked like him, I don’t believe I’d ever have gotten into the sport.

All this is to say that the opening week of the Tour de France sets it apart from every other Grand Tour; the large field, the level of competition, and the nature of the windy, mostly flat opening stages makes for chaos and chaos makes for crashes. How many riders have lost their chance at the Tour’s GC in a moment of inattention during the first 7 days on the bike? Even Hinault did a face-plant during the stage to Saint Etienne in 1985, although only he knows why he would be so reckless as to contest a bunch sprint in the first few days of the race.

Froomedog looks very good. On paper anyway, he looks horrible on the bike. I mean, look at him. He looks Nibbles in 2014 strong. Nibbles looks fit but seems a bit inattentive. Quintana looks overwhelmed. Contador looks fit tired. Everyone but Froome is looking for their peak; the only question on Froome is whether he’s peaking too soon. Remember that l’Alpe d’Huez comes on the Saturday before Paris.

The first signs of weakness are exposed in the first week of the Tour. And tomorrow we ride the cobbles. Fuck yeah cobbles.

Vive le Tour and Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @GogglesPizano

    Spartacus' face was white as a sheet after the crash, vision impaired - goes on to finish the stage - epic!

    Sorry we won't see him in full fury today.

    Sagan giving the final climb a go with GC lads was well impressive too.

  • @GogglesPizano

    and Spartacus rides in the last 59km of the stage with fucking a broken back!

    this is why I love cycling and hate football(soccer).

    Cyclist has a major crash, breaks some bones, rides 59 km to the finish.

    Footballer stumbles on a stalk of grass, falls down on the soft nice field. Cries to mama for help and gets carried out on a stretcher. Weichei!

  • @GogglesPizano

    I like to think the conversation at the hospital was;

    "I'm right, I'll keep going"

    "Mr Spartacus, Cobbles tomorrow Sir."

    "Scheize! Ah, it will be ok, I'll ride"

    "And you lost the Malliot Jaune"

    "No worries, I will ride"

    "To Froome"

    "Ach, I am too embarrassed to face the crowds, they will taunt me for losing the jersey to a rider with such poor style. I will rest, how will I face my family, my children will laugh in my face ... " (fade out muttering)

  • @brett

    God the Tour always disappoints me. I mean, no-one is going to beat Froome now. Good as over. But what are these morons doing getting caught out in a split on Stage 2 FFS?

    So a young gun beats the old Lion and the World Champ on day one, Etixx and Tinkoff split the field and put time into two GC guys, and the Gorilla takes the brat on the line- he sits up and loses the yellow for his team mate, then the Lion hits the deck at 80 plus with a bunch of his mates, breaks his back for the SECOND time this year and rides it in, the main favourite puts time into all his rivals, (J-Rod is not a rival) and takes yellow by 1 sec to the cobbles today.

    You're disappointed?

    Far from over, the fat lady hasn't even seen the music sheet yet,18 stages to go, think it's worth a watch.

    Fantastic racing, fucking loving it.

  • To be honest, I doubt if Sky and Froome would want him to be yellow so early, I don't think they planned it that way, but the two mass pile-ups put in a position to have a go on the last climb. It does give them the advantage of being car no. 1 today on the cobbles, if (or when) he punctures. I expect him to lose it today, as some mad fool used to pave goes flat out for glory. He'll just want to get round in one piece whilst keeping a watch out on the other GC guys.

  • @brett

    There's 18 days of racing left. As much as I like Froome, I don't think he'll be able to go that hard all the way to Paris. Back in 2013 Quintana had the measure of him in the last week. Given the number of maountains in the back half of the race there's a good chance that will happen again. And I think Froome doesn't have the self control to not go hard in the Pyrenees. I could easily see him struggling up the Alpe while Quintana, Pinot et. al. are zooming up it.

  • @rfreese888

    As much as I admire Faboo for the determination to continue with a knackered back, I'm a bit more reticent to cheer given that he seemed to have a concussion. I just might be a bit sensitive to it, as I'm a big fan of both American Football and Rugby, both of which are having to come to terms with concussion management. I had similar feelings in 2013 when Tony Martin continued on after a serious bang on the head.

    If Cancellara had fallen off the bike again yesterday and hit his back, it probably would have just hurt him some more (I'm assuming that he had just fractured some of the tranverse processes, as opposed to a potentially more serious structural break to the core of the vertebra). But if he'd hit his head again, it could have killed him.

  • @LeoTea

    I agree - heroic but possibly stupid.

    In Rugby now I think they have stricter protocols about assessing for concussion and keeping players off the pitch when at risk. Am I right in saying cycling has not reached that level of assessing and decision making?  Seems it would have been pretty obvious to keep Faboo off the bike given his symptoms.

  • @Barracuda

    Also glad Andre the giant got up and is in green, couldn’t handle the frustration if Cav was there.  He’s acting like some of my tennis countrymen at Wimbledon.  Spoilt brats !

    Another stat I couldn't quite believe was that this is the first time the Gorilla has worn the Green Jersey at the Tour. I don't think Cav can or will try to win the green - Sagan pretty much has it once the race gets bumpy, he's so much quicker over the hills than the other sprinters - but he's looking for stage wins.

    And him and his team completely threw one away on Sunday.

  • Also, Hinault...what a hard bastard. He gives me the shivers.

    "as long as I have two arms and two legs it will be very difficult for them"

    Fuck yes. That's a competitor.

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