As Keepers Tour crossed from dream to reality and routes over the cobblestones of Northern Europe were sketched out, with it came the familiar tingling in my fingertips and uneasy sensation at the base of my spine as my mind starts its irrevocable journey towards categorizing as mandatory an unnecessary indulgence. I was going to need a wheelset and tubular tires that were up to the job.
The folklore goes a long way towards that justification; Paris-Roubaix is the race where every trick of the trade is exploited to deliver riders safely to the finish. Equipment which usually carries riders for a season or more finds itself in the trash heap after a single day on in Hell – maybe good enough for training but certainly not be trusted for another race. Special wheels are built, and only the strongest tubulars are glued to the rims. Aldo Gios, De Vlaeminck’s mechanic, is said to have aged his tires in his wine cellar to allow the rubber to harden, making them more resistent to punctures.
Ignoring the possibility that there may be some difference in strength, speed, or skill with which the Pros ride over the Cobbles, it didn’t take me long to determine that it wasn’t so much a matter of wanting a set of tubulars for Keepers Tour, but that it was indeed my obligation. I have a responsibility, after all, to the attendees of trip that I not fall off my machine and bash my head open on a cobblestone. Messy, certainly, but it may also frame the event in a somewhat negative light, and I think we’d all like the opportunity to do this again some time. The only way to assure I don’t suffer some catastrophic equipment failure and jeopardize the trip was to build a set of wheels based on the same components the Pros select for the purpose, and line them in the same rubber they choose. Logical, really.
The seduction of symbols was the first phase, followed quickly by the art of building wheels. The final step was to procure the right tires for the job. FMB is perhaps the most revered name in hand-made tubular tires; inspection of photos of Roubaix will reveal the pale yellow or green sidewalls of the FMB Paris-Roubaix tire on many of the wheels bouncing over the cobbles – often rebadged on order to satisfy sponsorship obligations.
I needed a set, naturally.
The tires were ordered in December, as from January onward Francois (of Francois-Marie Boyaux from which FMB takes its name) becomes overburdened with orders from the teams riding Roubaix and indicated he wouldn’t have time to squeeze in an order from a nobody such as myself. They arrived in February, at which point they displaced a few bottles of wine to age in the darkest corner of our basement which doubles as our wine cellar. Having mounted another set of tubs on the wheels in order to bash the bejezus out of the wheels so as to make myself a little less certain that I buggered the wheel building process, they had to wait until this past week to be mounted.
They have not yet been ridden, but they certainly look the business.
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Gluing on a tubular tire is a glorious study in patience and settles beautifully in the intersection between art, science, and ritual. And the glue smells distressingly fantastic.
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@frank
@mcsqueak
Those are some sexy tubs sir. Now while I realize this is more or less a dictatorship around here, I'm going to agree with @McSqueek; Stop huffing the glue..........
Forgive me a cruel chuckle as I delight in the notion that I've succeeding in making myself seem crazy enough for the possibility to exist that I'm serious about the brake block matching Rule. It's inspired, of course - but also completely insane. Now that I put it like that, I suppose I can see why...
At the risk being burned at the stake as a heretic - after wearing out the Contis that came on my 404's I got some Vittoria Corsas from a friend for $50 a piece and I can say with all honesty that they were the biggest pain in the ass to deal with and definitely has me questioning whether tubular's (supposed) superior ride is worth the hassle for the average Cat 4. If I were a pro that had a mechanic that dealt with such tribulation for me and all I had to do was put up my hand and wait for the team car to take care of things that would be another thing. But I ain't.
I will definitely only be riding the tubs in races this year.
Le Frank,
The wheels look fantastic, minuscule as they may appear when framed by your excessive bodily lank.
If you are going to look pro, however, remember to look pro in all things, especially when posting photographs. I know where your focus lies, but right there behind you...two straps per pair, placed at the contact points between tips and tails only, unless they are race skis in transit, in which case a third strap just forward of the binding is permitted. Poles always upright and leaning against binding toe-pieces or hanging by the straps from something other than the skis, never strapped to anything, least of all each other. These things are in the same room--the same photograph, even--as your bike...ergo, to the extent that is is possible, they must reflect the same aesthetic.
Again, nice wheels and nice tubs. Stay smooth; smooth is fast.
Whilst I recognise the seduction of tubulars and the skill it takes to mount them, here in Malaysia we live by the old chinese proverb of "Man who ride tubs, go home in Taxi". If the potholes the size of a car don't get you, the glass will. And if your bike skills are deft enough to avoid these, the general road surface that is rougher than a bulldog chewing a wasp will do everything in its power to release all 100psi to the bright blue sky. Every weekend we observe the forlorn rider sitting along the side of the road morosely staring at the leaking tub or shattered carbon wheel that they bought in a moment of credit card madness. If I return to Europe (or miraculously get sponsored and am given my own team car), I will bow down to the art and begin my apprenticeship of learning to mount a set of tubs to a handmade carbon wheel, but for now I'll be sticking to alloys with a middle back pocket full of inner tubes.
@Dan_R
Fuck I wouldn't. I think I may have done it once, though I can't remember (not a good sign) and ended up with a cracking headache. It's not like mixing cocaine and rohypnol, that's for sure.
@Adrian
No one can deny the beauty and superiority of the tubes,
no one can deny the convenience of clinchers.
@Joshua
Aksel, Bode, Lindsey and I all disagree with you regarding the placement of the straps.
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As for the poles - they get strapped together for the car ride to the mountain so the little bastards don't lay in the back and rattle. I will take care to unstrap them upon the return home.
@Cyclops
Bummer - did you pre-stretch them? Makes a huge difference. Seems like there is some kind of miscommunication here, as everything I know about you makes me believe tubbies and you are a match made in heaven. Down to the slightly different feeling you get from hanging around the open glue can.
Just be glad you didn't try to glue the Contis - they are reputed to be ultra fucking hard to get on.
@Jaq
Hell yeah! Old school rules!
@frank
Always seems automatic to spin a rear wheel with cluster on right hand side. Does this happen with everyone else?