We met by chance, or so it seems. I suppose there really is no such thing as “chance”. I was ready for it, and it was there. I wasn’t really looking but, you see, it had been a while since I’d been happy. I’d even strayed about some, trying a bit of this and a bit of that, but nothing really filled the void I felt within. But Love is a real thing and it can belong to each of us; we just have to be willing to see and we need the courage to grasp it while we can.
My chain and I share a tumultuous relationship. Mostly, we get along just fine, but my demands are high and it is but a simple thing. There are times when it simply doesn’t behave as I’d like. Not only do I expect it to shift properly and propel my bike without impeding my forward progress more than I already do myself, but I expect it to be absolutely silent, only allowing it a triumphant chirp when coaxed onto an adjacent cog.
In my quest to observe the Principle of Silence, I tune my drivetrain and bike more often than is reasonable, often when it requires neither tuning nor cleaning. But I do it anyway, and it feels good. Few things delight me as much as hearing the hum of the back wheel as it spins on the stand, my left hand spinning the drive-side pedal while my right hand pushes the levers on the shifters while watching the chain skip flawlessly from one cog to the next. A daily ritual, I never – under any circumstances – throw my leg over a bike without first cleaning at least the chain. I find it is unbecoming of a Velominatus to ride a soiled machine; we are not barbarians, after all.
You need to know all this in order to understand what I will say next. I have experimented with synthetic lubes and with waxes, and none are the equal of an oil-based product. Sure, oil attracts more road grit, but for those of us who clean our chains every day, that hardly matters. More importantly, it’s lubricating qualities are far superior to the synthetics. As for providing a solid platform for the Principle of Silence, no product I’ve come across has managed to rival the noise-dampening qualities of Dumonde Tech BCL, made right here in Seattle, no less. All it requires is a single drop on each link and chain noise virtually disappears. If you are lucky enough to ride well-tuned Campagnolo mechs, you’ll find that the only sound you hear is the hiss of your wheels cutting through the breeze. And, in my case, that of belabored breathing.
When first we met, I was skeptical. I’d been hurt in the past and I needed assurances that it wouldn’t happen again. The bottle caught my eye as it stood coyly on its shelf. I picked it up and discretely read the label which said all the right things – a bit about low friction and a bit re-applying only when chain noise becomes audible. I took the first step, and it has rewarded me with silence.
And, dare I say, it smells strangely pleasant.
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I heartily commend your thoughts on the principles of silence. I, too, am a religious cleaner and oiler of chains. I revel in the directness of action that a well lubed drivechain facilitates between legs and tyre. The gentle hum of wide bladed spokes, the rasp of breath and NOTHING else, quintessence of an early morning thrash.
Which is why I am at my wits end with the never ending creakfest that is my bottom bracket at the moment. A wise man once said, every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin to slit throats....Much longer, it's axe meets carbon and I shan't be held responsible.
@Joe
What type of BB and cranks are you running?
Dura-Ace 7800. Rascals.
I'm in the same boat, and use a soy-based lube, which works fine, but it also necessitates a mandatory wipe-down and clean after each ride in order to ensure that build-up doesn't totally gunk up the chain. To that end, I'm always looking for a better green product; has anyone tried Dumonde's bio-green lubricant?
@frank
Interesting connection, there: I told him this was the last bike I'd be buying for him (translation: take care of it).
After all the Star Wars references, we're on to Back to the Future, now?
Nice try on Rule 11, but it seems you were foiled. Keep trying.
He's 13, and has grown about 15cm since January; who wants a kid who eats you out of house and home? We also had a Rule 25 moment as we rolled out of the LBS for the test ride. The four wheels under us were far more valuable than the four we drove to the shop. The temptation to keep on going was certainly there...
@Joe
Forgive me if this is stating the obvious but is your hollowtech spindle cranked all the way tight as well as the BB? I was getting some creaking out of my FSA cranks and really needed to torque down the spindle nut. I find it surprising how much torque those things need.
@Marko - you may be in the zone. I'm somewhat 'Bad Cadel' when it comes to fingertip cranking skills around carbon products. However, I've been adhering strongly to the tenets of 3d Fitness this lunch so I might just go home and give that sucka hell...
@Joe
My thought is the splines would bottom out before ever putting pressure on your carbone. I was apprehensive as well for the same reason but when I cranked the fuckers (cranks) down the creak went away. Mine was only doing it under higher power (climbing, sprinting) and not regular spinning. As long as you're at it pull the spindle out, clean, and regrease. Just a theory but it may be the case.
I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sneaky little secret to making things easier in the chain cleaning department. The Connex Quick-Link. Taking the chain off to clean/lube it makes things WAY easier. It really makes cleaning the cogs and rings easier too.
As well as the rest of the bike - I have two nails on a crossbeam of the overhang out my back door. I hook two bungee cords off of them and then hang my bike by the saddle and stem from them and it makes a proper hosing/cleaning a snap and having the chain off gives piece of mind that the chain is not scraping around on my carbon chain stays and BB area.
It's funny you should say that Frank. When I was BMX racing my saving grace was that I had an awesome gate. I wasn't the fastest guy or the best jumper but I could hang with most Pros down the first straight. How I developed such a good "snap" was by mimicking these same Pros. I watched videos and saw that all the momentum was directed at throwing the hips into the handlebars and everything else fell into place. Now that I'm all about the road bike I do the same thing. What are the Pros doing? It has really helped with my climbing technique (hand position, slight upper body bob, etc.) and I think I look pretty smooth (which is the important thing innit?) when hammering on the flats.
Just remember; it's not how fast you go, it's how good you look doing it. And let me tell you darling, You look marvelous!