The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.

It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.

The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.

If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.

  • Rule #12 and the Cascade EffectRule #12 and the Cascade Effect
    That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ...
  • Guest Article: Black Is Not The New BlackGuest Article: Black Is Not The New Black
     @kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
  • Dialing in the StableDialing in the Stable
    This was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
  • Matching the drapes to the rugMatching the drapes to the rug
    As a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
  • Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourFestum Prophetae: Waiting for the Hour
    Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...

15,871 Replies to “The Bikes”

  1. MC – yup, the Podiums fit nicely. Maybe ask a pal who has one to see how it fits in your cage before buying? But, from my experience they are held snugly.

    Also, fleabay is a good place, in my experience, if you want to try out new/different cages. Lots of Ciussi and Tao cages pop up & often at a very good price.

  2. Back from the paint shop. I haven’t seen her in person, but she looks stunning. V-cog on the top tube, “Obey the Rules” on the seatstays.

  4. @G’rilla That is hot.  I got the “it’s time to start talking about your build” email the other day and have started that discussion.  I might be more excited than both my kids combined were on Christmas.

  8. @mcsqueak That’s commitment.

    @G’rilla

    Back from the paint shop. I haven’t seen her in person, but she looks stunning. V-cog on the top tube, “Obey the Rules” on the seatstays.

    I don’t want to get into specifics, but I hope to fuck you’re building that yourself. Or, at a minimum, that you’re bringing it to Sensei’s house to build.

  9. @G’rilla

    Wow, that is hot!!

    In other news, I had imagined that we’d somehow hook up during your sojourn to Melbourne.  Unfortunately, your trip has coincided with a fucking nightmare two weeks for me that started with a huge work deadline that neccessitated working a bunch of overtime, to me melting a carbon rim due to a complete bogan cunt in the Dandenongs, to being knocked off my bike on Beach Road last Saturday.  Cue $2k insurance claim to driver and a metric fuckton of dicking around and waiting for my bike to be repaired.

    Tuesday night ride was missed due to a request to care for my kids, then Wednesday night crits were cancelled due to rain.  (Was going to have a go at racing the CX bike with road tires for shits and giggles).

    Hope it gets better from here.

    Anyhoo, hope you had a good time here regardless.

  10. @G’rilla

    Back from the paint shop. I haven’t seen her in person, but she looks stunning. V-cog on the top tube, “Obey the Rules” on the seatstays.

    Much like! well done the builder. Please get this baby built and tickled with the right bits!

  11. @mouse I had a great time in Melbourne both professionally and recreationally. But I didn’t get out to ride, unfortunately. A bike case is on the way so I can bring my own gear next time. I visit Melbourne about once a year, so I hope to see you next time!

    @frank The builder is reticent to hand over a bunch of parts and prefers to assemble it himself. A benefit of the LBS (or local builder) is they can provide guidance. A downside is that they have opinions. I have no regrets working with this builder but I think anyone buying a custom frame should receive it as bare metal and handle the paint, parts, and assembly by oneself.

  12. stumbled on some videos a few weeks back while getting my youtube fix.

    putting my first bike together and never having any sensei or lbs experience, these helped break things down into a process rather than a giant box o parts.  that and i have no mechanical bone in my body.

    part ii

    part iii

    part iv

    part v

    all in italian but it’s easy to figure out what he’s getting on about.  nothing terribly detailed, but again, more of an overview than a step by step. and even with the editing, he does the chain in seconds.  i wake up in cold sweats dreaming about linking up the chain

  13. @roger

    Fun stuff. I’m wishing that three years of university Italian went a lot further than it does (at age 50, almost nowhere), but this is fun to watch.

  14. @roger I better watch that as I’ll be doing my own build.  Haven’t done it before but I’ve done most of the individual steps.  What could go wrong?

  15. @DerHoggz

    MegaExo BB creaking on every non-driveside stroke. Is there anything I could possibly do, or does being cartridge mean it is done for?

    I’m chasing one of these myself – thought it was the BB but replacing it with a spare failed to get rid of the creak. More swapping of bits followed and I’ve traced it to the back wheel. Cassette off and cleaned – still creaking. I’m assuming hub bearings (Hope Pro III) or greasing the pawls. Tomorrow’s job.

  17. Cyclops – awesome job. What incredible skills and bravery to tackle such a task. Looking forward to haring how she rides with a chain on!

  18. @Ron Cheers for the bottle suggestion. I picked up a couple of camelback podiums that are a nice snug fit and are also a really nice bottle.

  19. Fellow Velominati,

    At the beginning of April I will be leaving my au pair job in France and returning to the US to live in the Seattle metro area (specifically the Eastside) with my parents. I am a jobless, almost penniless college graduate, and it will be the first time in two years that I will be bikeless. The thought of living with my parents and spending months without the central tool in the pursuit of our craft makes me weak in the knees, and I know I will be hungry to ride as I begin my job search and parental mooching.

    I expect to have about $300 to spare for a bike and I was wondering what your ideas were regarding finding my first n for Rule #12 observance. Is craigslist or ebay a good bet, or are there good Seattle LBS for used bikes? Any Velominatus Bugetatus tips are much appreciated.

    VLVV,

    Marcus

  21. @zeitzmar

    Fellow Velominati,

    At the beginning of April I will be leaving my au pair job in France and returning to the US to live in the Seattle metro area (specifically the Eastside) with my parents. I am a jobless, almost penniless college graduate, and it will be the first time in two years that I will be bikeless. The thought of living with my parents and spending months without the central tool in the pursuit of our craft makes me weak in the knees, and I know I will be hungry to ride as I begin my job search and parental mooching.

    I expect to have about $300 to spare for a bike and I was wondering what your ideas were regarding finding my first n for Rule #12 observance. Is craigslist or ebay a good bet, or are there good Seattle LBS for used bikes? Any Velominatus Bugetatus tips are much appreciated.

    VLVV,

    Marcus

    I expect @Frank will be able to shed some light on this, he lives in the area I think?

  22. @Deakus Thanks! Sometimes I feel like a fraud calling myself a Velominatus because my upcoming equipment debates will not be tubular vs. clincher or carbon vs. alu box section but something more like Huffy vs. Schwinn. I just want to find a bike that is good enough to ride and within my budget range. I can work on the n + 1 later.

  23. @zeitzmar

    Hey, ride it and enjoy it, whatever you wind up with for the time being. As a fellow Budgetatus, largely due to raising three creatures like you (kidding, sort of), I frequently have to remind myself that “it’s all about the bike” can mean something other than obsessing over expensive kit.

    Best of luck with the job search on your return. Be nice to your parents; they deserve it. Clean the fucking bathroom once in a while, okay?

  24. @zeitzmar

    I bet in a cycling city such as Seattle you’ll be able to find a good used bike. Maybe try and do a few odd jobs once you get back to increase your budget a few hundred dollars. I think even going from $300 to $600 or $700 will open a much wider selection of bikes.

    We all start somewhere. This was my first bike as an adult, which I rode for a year while I saved up for my current bike. It was my dad’s so I have a bit of an emotional attachment to it, but it served me well and is still my bar-runner (though I have long since replaced the saddle with something far more appropriate).

  25. @zeitzmar I’m in Seattle. Try Recycled Cycles or Craigslist. A cheap single speed is always an option.

    What size are you looking for?

    Lets ride when you get here!

  26. @Anjin-san

    Dude, how wide are those tires? Is the bike heavy and/or hard to pedal?

    Looks like fun, no doubt… roll over anything!

  28. @mcsqueak

    @Anjin-san

    Dude, how wide are those tires? Is the bike heavy and/or hard to pedal?

    Looks like fun, no doubt… roll over anything!

    That’s called a fat bike and is all the rage. You can ride them on some cross country ski trails in the winter without damaging the groomed trails.

    Salsa just announced a carbon fiber model.

  32. @RedRanger yes, I’m all about those. This is what I have been riding in France, although sadly I have to sell it to buy my return ticket. I’d love to find something else like it though.

    @G’rilla 53 or 54 cm C-T. I’m definitely down to ride, once I find something to ride on. Worst case I’ll buy something cheap and prebuilt from nashbar or bikesdirect. The undersized costco mountainbike rotting in my parents’ garage won’t do me much good.

    @PeakInTwoYears Definitely planning on cleaning the bathroom and doing yard work to keep the parents happy. Yeah, the nicest bike I’ve had is an 84 Peugeot that I bought here in France, so my standards aren’t super high, but I just want something that is pleasurable to ride, like my Peugeot (which sadly I cannot afford to transport).

  35. @zeitzmar

    I was just giving you shit. Like @G’rilla said, in Seattle you’ll be able to find something. I’m with @mcsqueak, though: if you have to wait a while, or knock off a liquor store, to bump it up a couple c-notes, it might be worth it.

    Love the Peugeot. I commuted to school on one thirty years ago. It was stolen from campus, finally, sadly. Loved that bike.

  36. @mcsqueak It’s a Salsa Mukluk.  Tires say 3.8 inches but they measure over 4 when inflated to a whopping 8 psi.  Bike weighs 34 lbs and is set up as a single speed running 32/22.  Not for the faint of heart or legs here in the mountains, but it will climb just about anything, in any conditions, if you can keep the pedals turning.  Good fun!

  37. @Anjin-san

    Would you believe that the bike I posted above weights more than your fat-tire monster bike? I swear Schwinn filled the tubes with lead.

  41. I saw someone on a fat bike during one of the snowstorms this winter, looked like he was having the time of his life.

    Can we start a petition or something to get frame manufacturers to always give stack and reach information?  I want a bit more length, but I’m not sure if going out to a 130mm stem would be enough and I’m happy with my drop.

  44. @DerHoggz my hard tail 29er is a blast. Got it set up so I can get low. tthay thing is so much fun going down hill and semi techy stuff. I got 2.0 tired at under 30psi. A hoot. @frank said it best, MTBs are just fun. And your bike handling skills go up.

  48. @G’rilla the only 69er I know of is a trek and actually is a 29er. I thought that Yeti you have is a 26″ AM/Trail rig, or did you get a race stead and I missed it.

  49. @mcsqueak Wow!  I would not have expected that at all.  The new fat tire bike that G’rilla mentioned from Salsa supposedly weighs 24 lbs with a 1 x 11 drive train- that is truly sick!  I have since switched handle bars to the set up pictured here… more comfortable climbing out of the saddle with lots of different options.

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