The Bikes
The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.
It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.
The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.
If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.
- Rule #12 and the Cascade Effect
That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ... - Guest Article: Black Is Not The New Black@kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
- Dialing in the StableThis was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
- Matching the drapes to the rugAs a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
- Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourEveryone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...
$32,000 btw…
@kixsand do people actually ride those?
@kixsand
A bike makes no sense as an accessory to a car.
the handlebars are wrapped in the same hand stitched leather as the steering wheel in the Lamborghini. I expect that it is meant as a collectors piece – production limited to 50 pieces. It also come in yellow/black…
@unversio that bike costs more than any car I will ever own. granted both my bikes cost more than the car I have now
Epically failing to post an image here
@Ken Ho
Don’t post it….you have more shit hanging off that Steed than is aesthetically permissable and I would suggest a re-shoot. Polish the lense too…it looks like you have fog inside the house. A bike with definite promise though…..
@Teocalli
@Ken Ho I was typing my abuse before you provided an explanation so forgive the crossover..although I am still cleaning up the vomit on my keyboard as a result of the EPMS and mirror (mirror on night rides.? I don’t get it?)
@unversio
Lizard Skin DSP – Expensive but awesome – probably worth a reverence article at some point in the future…
Mirror is so lI can ride in teh tyre lane which is way smoother than the verge, when there is one, and spot oncoming traffic in plenty of time to make space if I need to. I can no more ride a bike without a mirror than I can ride a motorbike or drive a car. Th EPMS is for spares.
Fronk, despite his official position, made the limitations of carrying adequate spares in a jersey clear in his infamous “camel hump”article. Jersey is full of phone, keys, wallet and a banananananananana. I wear a skin suit a lot too, with just a single small pocket.
Besides which, I like to upset people by doing it all wrong, and the conversation is shit boring this week, all about some crappy race somewhere that I don’t care about one bit.
@Ken Ho
C’mon Ken! Are you trying to upset people? Love your bike, sure. But don’t expect any complements here. Not to mention the grieving Italians who haven’t even had one day to get over their Worlds agony and now you go besmirching the classic lines of their beloved Bianchi and pasting it all over the interwebz.
@ped
Thanks – interestingly he’d already found the site. There is some cracking stuff on there.
@Ken Ho
No skin suit gonna fix all that drag honeylamb.
@unversio
I have a theory (actually I have many theories – some of which involve wearing a foil hat) that high end car manufacturers are beginning to see the brand writing on the wall and are trying with some success to make sure that when their clientele are weaned off fast cars that they can’t drive fast and 4×4’s that don’t see mud they have other transport markets to sell in to. Electric cars is one – bikes is another.
Are Giant, Trek, Campagnolo, Shimano worth more as companies and brands than some niche car makers? Well Ferrari turns over €2.2bn and Lambo €469m – by comparison Giant does $820m, Trek $600m, Campagnolo (ahem) $150m and Shimano $1.4bn (about $1bn from cycling parts most of the rest is from fishing).
Why wouldn’t you want to try and establish a high end place the cycling market – more people have heard of Lambo than BMC.
Well, yes, I could have taken off all the practical crap, and just posted her as a classic Carbon Bianchi, with a tasteful amount of Celeste, Record and Shamals, but truth is, l ride this bike every night after work, in the dark, on crap rural roads ruled by bogans and miners in utes and B-double trucks! Too many of whom just plain hate bikes. I’ve had some nasty close shaves, and lots of cyclists have been killed in our state in recent times, with no repercussions for the drivers who just don’t give a rats. Not really after compliments, just thought I’d post for commentary and interest.
Next time I cruise to the coffee shops, I’ll make her Rule Perfect and add some deep section tubs for extra yuppie points. Trouble is, on those rides, I’m on my cruiser.
Someone told me a while ago that I was on the wrong forum, so I dropped out for awhile, but it’s thebest cycling site I’ve found on the web, so ya just have to put up with me and pf reference to The Omega RulOtha derivation of The Zappa Directive.
@Ken Ho
I nearly spat tea out of my nose reading that…it’s worth a bump to keep it up till the Mericans come online! I now have an image of someone on a light and EPMS laden bike with a track pump over the shoulder and a spare wheel round the neck….in a SKIN SUIT!
You have made my day Chapeau!
@Ken Ho ok. I’ll bite, respect to anyone out on the road at night and light up the bike like a Guy Fawkes bonfire (really like the idea of the light pool out into the road) but a mirror? I suppose that if one has cervical/spinal impairment like titanium rods implanted from the last time you were hit from behind then a mirror is necessary. For an experienced rider looking over both shoulders or under the arm (if you really going, a la Cav, between the legs!) is simple and I don’t think night changes anything? Arguably, easier because the car lights tell you more about where it is than in the day…
Me thinks you are in a country that drives on the left, if not then I am really confused by the mirror?
And Ken, I know you are out there doing bad ass miles at bad ass speed and really if the mirror makes it safer for you that is all that counts. The questions come a bit from your language – tyre lane, verge for us colonials that needs some clarification….
I have moved to a really busy downtown city and my night rides are now lashed with excitement and thrills but aside from getting some new lights and a flashy on the helmet I find night riding to be quite enjoyable.
@ChrisO
Yeah, long story short, I was looking for something to bring up to the free shipping threshold on a wiggle order, and it was really cheap. Turns out I really like it, but it’s got a busted zip now from me trying to wedge some extra weight into it so it gets a lot of use a a general riding outfit. Basically, it cost me the same for two bottle carriers plus the skin suit, as the carriers alone would have cost me here.
Ken just read your reply about the drivers in your neck of the woods and you do not need to justify what you do or feel that your in the wrong place (I have never posted my bikes because they do no look good for aesthetic reasons like I never clean them or they’ve got rust!). You are doing what we all love to do and the rest is just trying to get to perfection, which, as far as I am concerned there are a handful of OCD’s led by our fearless leader who actually achieved the exulted state and the rest of us just try to inch forward every time we work on the bike or upgrade.
Yes, I’m in Australia, where they tend to make country roads from rather coarse chip of gravel and we drive on the left. In the heat, the bitumen melts a bit, and the strip just inside the white line, where the tyre runs, gets nice and smooth as the gravel sinks into the soft tar. It’s a smooth silk surface compared to the coarse chip seal a foot away on the other side of the line. Most cars take exception to that though, expecting bikes to use teh verge, which would be that bitumen sealed road between the white line and whatever lies beyond, which can be anything from rough ground, bush, gullies, drop-offs, creek beds, culverts, or in one memorable case, a rain gully that ran up into a cane field, where I suddenly found myself doing 40 kph, still in aero bars thinking “sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet”.
I think city riding is a lot more dangerous though, which is why I choose to ride where I do, at night. There is a lot less traffic at night, and people are in less of a hurry. The mirror lets me plan ahead. Say there are two cars approaching from opposite directions and there is a curve in the road. Do I just sail heedlessly on, hoping they will care for me, or do I modify my speed and road position to improve my safety ? Duh !! Sure, I can head check, and that comes after I see something in the mirror. There are a few spots where even the slightest deviation in course will see me either in the weeds, or in the traffic lane, where I am looking for a chance ro turn across the line of traffic. I know at least one person who has run off the road there and broken ribs in the fall that followed. I have run off there too, but luckily didnt fall! Despite being fatigued at teh end of a long ride The mirror lets me see a clear lane and move over before I head check.
@Ken Ho
did you take the photos in a steam room?
Yeah, crap aren’t they. I’m a bit technologicallchallenged, only have Internet on my iPad, so they were quickies justo for fun. I was out taking some GoPro of the flasher set up in the dark. Didn’t realise a seagull had shat on the iPad lens.
@Ken Ho thanks, as I said you do not have to justify but by posting you gets what you get – this is the V.
Still am not convinced that the mirror is essential… Yes I hear you on all that you are dealing with, as do most of us in varying degrees. Ironically I would rather be in downtown Miami with all it’s craziness than in the Outback, which in my mind equates to Texas and pick ups bristling with 2 x 4’s and baseball bats filled with panther piss beer fueled rednecks on a full moon looking for some Lycra weenies to have some fun with!
@Rob
Carry dynamite.
Per that old Redneck joke…….
Bud why have you got a stick of dynamite in your shirt pocket?
It’s to get Joe. Next time he punches me in the chest he’ll blow his effin hand off.
It’s not quite Texas. We get a lot of drunkBen drivers having accidents in the ER and that did give me pause, but I got over that. Texting is the new DUI anyway. It’s a very pleasant riding at night, especially as even early in spring, it’s very hot here in the Tropics. It was a real treat riding in the light of the recent full moon. Most cyclists in Oz get up early to beat the heat, but im crap at that. I travel a lot for work, and ride in a lot of places, but always in the country.
I’m a country member. Just remember.
@Teocalli +1
@Ken Ho I spent 24 years deep in the country and in a place where there was NO traffic we could ride 3 hours and see 2 cars. Often with a full moon, before the LED light boom when lights were shit we would ride no lights and those 3-4 hour ride are some of my favorites. The only drag was the occasional deer/skunk!
One phenomena of deep country riding that always amazed us was how often we would ride with no cars for long stretches and then cars coming from opposite directions at the same time and all three parties, 2 cars, guys on bikes are now converged on a 2 lane country rd with no shoulder…. If there is a god he’s got a really funny sense of humor (at least as far as bikes).
@scotjonscot that is a thing of beauty.
@Ken Ho I think @Deakus and @Rob are letting you off a little lightly here. Those photos are the embodiment of why the Masturbation Principle is in the Lexicon and there is a Rule #26 (and #29, and #31, and #66, and #74). And as far as the riding conditions you find yourself in – Rule #81.
Jeez, I’m starting to sound like a Cognoscenti here.
Look, my ride is nowhere near compliant yet – which is exactly why you don’t see me posting pictures of it. As much as I love it and love riding it, it is not yet ready to grace the pages here and that’s okay because it’s part of the process. As to the quality of your photos – if you’re technologically gifted enough to be perusing this site on an iPad then you’re gifted enough to take some decent pictures. It looks like you chose the Instagram filter labelled “who the fuck cares about focus”.
That is a damn nice bike, and you sound like quite the rider, so do it and yourself a solid and Rule #1. It won’t be easy, it’s not supposed to be, but it will be better.
@Ken Ho
simply adhere to the masturbation principle and all will be well.
@scotjonscot
Stunning!
Franks evil (or good) counterpart?
@Weldertron Sweet weeping Merckx! What is that and where does one even find a steerer like that?
@Mike_P Thanks, and I am older fatter and slower than the bike.
@Deakus I raced it twice this season, one crit and one road race. My first time for either and probably the bikes first time as well.I turn 50 in two weeks and figured better late than never! Happy to say we didn’t do too bad. It was certainly the oldest bike on the road both times,(it’s a 1989) but nowhere near the slowest!
@Deakus
Thanks!
@Weldertron
That’s the bike I would ride in Australia.
@scotjonscot
I hope everyone is paying attention, because this guy has it right. Old, fat. slow, and a bike that would stop anyone’s heart in its place.
I’m amazed, however, that an 8 speed Ultregra rear mech works with Campa 9spd Ergos.
@frank
You’re too kind. And they’re 10spd Ergos. ShimErgo. Works very nearly flawlessly.
@frank I don’t do much with Campy, but I have an old 7spd RSX derailleur on my rain bike that works great with 9 speed tiagra… It seems that the rear derailleur is not too particular as long as SRAM is not in the mix…
@scotjonscot
I’m 50 next week – good isn’t it.
Next year I will race.
@the Engine That first crit -in the rain, I might add!- was the best 30 minutes I’d ever spent on a bike. Unfortunately it was the last one of the season. The road race was also fantastic, if more brutal. I can’t wait until next year! I’m building a new old bike this winter.
@the Engine
50 is the new 30! Or something.
@Ken Ho
Um, but you’re riding at night… so doesn’t the headlights flooding around you and the sound of the engine give them away? You’re lit up like a christmas tree so they can see you and go around… not point in making space as that just gives YOU less space. But you gotta do what you gotta do. FWIW, I too live in a Mining town and ride the roads at night but I’ve never felt the need for more than a single front, single rear lights. Must be something extra special about the drivers where you are.
@scotjonscot
Oh very nice!