The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.

It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.

The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.

If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.

  • Rule #12 and the Cascade EffectRule #12 and the Cascade Effect
    That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ...
  • Guest Article: Black Is Not The New BlackGuest Article: Black Is Not The New Black
     @kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
  • Dialing in the StableDialing in the Stable
    This was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
  • Matching the drapes to the rugMatching the drapes to the rug
    As a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
  • Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourFestum Prophetae: Waiting for the Hour
    Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...

15,871 Replies to “The Bikes”

  3. G’rilla, getting a G&T, ya copycat!

    That’s a beautiful build & a sharp looking bike. Damn, that fizik tape is so slick, I have the glossy on my LOOK right now.

    Enjoy the bike! I love mine, find myself riding it all the time, bitten by the cx bike geo & wider tires big time.

  7. Mmm, are those Cosmic Carbones?

    Thanks for the photo, Pedale!

    Seems like the mechanics put the bikes in the small ring when they set them out for the riders. Is this kind of an industry standard? I guess so the rider doesn’t jump on & have to grind his knees in his biggest gear.

    Nice number on there too! He finishes the year as #1 eh? We gotta get one of those for Nate!

  8. @Ron
    A Phil-kitted Canyon for me? You are too kind, but please re-wrap the bars with white tape first!

  9. @Ron

    Mmm, are those Cosmic Carbones?

    Look to be, man that’s a sexy looking ride, wonder if the fact that Canyon aren’t available out here in Aus has anything to do with them being a touch more desirable?

  10. Great photo Pedale, You can hear the freewheel clicking as he grabs it and rolls off.
    You don’t see many lightweignt unpadded saddles on pro bikes do you.

  11. @Ron
    Yeah, the frame was in the mail when I saw yours. Totally different feel from a road bike. I didn’t think that a slightly different seat tube and head tube angle would make for such a different ride.

    I’m still not used to shifting into the big ring with SRAM but I’ll probably be more consistent after a few days.

    And those knobby wheels make a huge sound on the pavement. When I’m in high gear I sound like an eighteen wheeler.

  14. @Oli
    Oli, would I be a bit of a wingnut to try and service my own BB? – getting some unpleasant creaking at the bottom of my left magnificent stroke, but only when I am climbing – I was thinking of buying the apporpriate tools for future use, but I am worried this might be one best left to the appropriate surgeon….?

    ps. I have little or no pride nor dignity, so tell me to get it LBS serviced if you think that is best

    pps. @anyone with good eyesight – that looks like a pretty big outer ring on Phil’s Canyon – I can’t count past 50, but what d’ya reckon he is using?

  15. @Dr C
    What sort of BB is it, I was getting increasingly annoying creakings from the left particularly when climbing. I’ve a BB30 type BB so I wasn’t keen to getting into that (press fit bearings and all that) and looked at other possibilities first.

    Re-greased the QR skewers, cleaned the pedals and cleats (the left cleat had picked up some mud along the way) and took the cranks off, cleaned them and re-greased the spindle and made sure it was all torqued up correctly. The good news is there’s no more creak. The bad news, I did all of the above at once so I’ve no idea what actually cured the creak.

  16. @Chris
    maybe I should just get a new bike?

    seems unreasonable grounds for a divorce

    ps. when are you doing your big Sportive thing you were talking about?

  17. @Chris

    More optimistically you just took care of the squeak and made sure nothing else would think about acting up either. Nothing wrong with being proactive, right?

  18. @Dr C

    Tomorrow! Have hardly ridden recently but went out and did a quick 33 miles on Tuesday, kept telling myself to “slow down, this isn’t a fast session…”, felt awesome and relaxed and when I checked my time against the route it turned out to be a rather brisk (for me) 19 mph!

    +1 on the new bike!

    @King Clydesdale

    Next stop was a full teardown so I was rather relieved.

  19. @Chris

    @Dr C
    Tomorrow! Have hardly ridden recently but went out and did a quick 33 miles on Tuesday, kept telling myself to “slow down, this isn’t a fast session…”, felt awesome and relaxed and when I checked my time against the route it turned out to be a rather brisk (for me) 19 mph!

    +1 on the new bike!

    Should be well ready for it then…..NOT! God Speed anyway fellow Velominatus – I’ll be thinking of you as you shoot downwind at 50mph (full gale forecast) – make sure you find a good group to sandbag with on the upwind sections! Pain is good, quitting lasts forever – Shut up legs etc etc!!

    Just ordered an new bike – thanks for the above shove – Roubaix Comp 2011 going on Ebay imminently

  21. @Pedale.Forchetta
    Boy, do I hate those bikes. One of the best bits of news for next year is that Philbert won’t be ridding one! (That, and I hope his red/black/gold bibs will go the way of the whippoorwill as well!)

    Note to graphic designers the world over: don’t lean your fonts over backwards, and never add “.com” to your logo. It’s not 1999 anymore.

  22. @G’rilla

    Built up a Van Dessel Gin & Trombones cross bike. I’ve only ridden it a few times but building from parts was definitely the way to go. Every part is just perfect, to me.
    SRAM Rival, Ritchey Classic bend bars, handbuilt wheels with lightweight Sapim CX Ray spokes, Avid BB7 disc brakes, Fizik saddle and tape.

    Go Steelers!!!

    Very nice, looking forward to hearing about your Croscapades.

  23. @G’rilla

    And those knobby wheels make a huge sound on the pavement. When I’m in high gear I sound like an eighteen wheeler.

    Roll On Eighteen Wheeler, ROLL ON!!

    @Dr C

    pps. @anyone with good eyesight – that looks like a pretty big outer ring on Phil’s Canyon – I can’t count past 50, but what d’ya reckon he is using?

    Looks like a 53. Was contemplating a nomenclature Rule the other day. Nothing against compacts, but I think you can only call a big ring a “big ring” when it’s got 52 or more teeth. Below that, it’s called the outer ring.

  24. @frank

    @Pedale.Forchetta
    Boy, do I hate those bikes.

    Anything to do with their suing another bike company?

    Note to graphic designers the world over: don’t lean your fonts over backwards

    Agreed. Don’t like the font either.

    and never add “.com” to your logo. It’s not 1999 anymore.

    Agreed, but glass houses and all that:

  25. @frank
    but that means some of us over 45 yoa will never get to mash it in the big ring anymore….please no….that’s like shaving our heads or telling us our wives are no good in bed

    mashing it in the outer ring…..see what I mean, I am instantly flaccid

    in fact, I’ve just counted FastPhil’s big ring and it only has 48 teeth, so there!

  26. @Chris
    of course, it goes without saying that you will be adding your metres to the Velominati Strava Struggle……

  27. I run a 36-50 up front and an 11-23 on the back so I can handle all the freakin’ lumps that make up the topography around me. It’s like Goldilocks and the porrage: a 34 is too low, a 38 would be too big but a 36 is just right. I could do a 38 or 42 up front, but then I’d be running a dinner plate at the back and that is aesthetically unacceptable. The 50 is still the big ring as it’s bigger than the 36. In not in my 20s anymore so needing a 52 or 52 up front is kinda like driving a Lamborgini on US roads. Theoretically you can go top speed, but how often and at what cost?

  29. @Steampunk

    and never add “.com” to your logo. It’s not 1999 anymore.

    Agreed, but glass houses and all that:

    Excuse me? Is “.com” part of our logo? I see logos with and without taglines, I see logos with and without the accompanying V-Cog, and I see URLs strategically and tastefully placed as part of the design. But I don’t see any logos anywhere including the “.com”.

    Including a URL as part of a design is common practice, tasteful, and sensible. Turning the URL into your logo is none of those things since we abandoned the practice in the 90’s when it stopped being a novelty to have a domain name.

  30. @frank

    @Pedale.Forchetta
    Boy, do I hate those bikes.

    Rats. One of the few companies that makes an affordable carbon frame in my size. They do have them with a more discreet logo without the .com, which mutes the ugly a bit.

  31. @frank
    Mea culpa. And not a criticism of the kit, which I love. But I was reading this just after hanging my jersey to dry and noticed the .com. Missed “logo” to a degree in your previous post.

  32. @Dr C

    @Dr C

    mashing it in the outer ring…..see what I mean, I am instantly flaccid

    It just means that we need a new blog dedicated to being tough on fewer than 52 teeth: OuterRingRiding.com

  33. G’rilla, hell yeah to that! Shifting to the big ring still isn’t that comfortable or smooth or sure-feeling for me and it’s been a few months for me. Actually, I did not like SRAM shifters until I broke my right one, replaced it, and now the shifting is much, much better. I got it used so guess it was always on its way out.

    Geo – my cx bike is much more comfortable than my road bikes. And it’s not just the wider tires and more air. I wonder if I can make my road bikes a bike more like my cx bike fit? Or, is this impossible? I guess a road bike isn’t meant to feel like a cx bike, but maybe one of you with better understanding of geo and fit can snap me into shape.

    Another question – out riding last night on my G&T, put the bottle back in the cage after a sip and…it slipped right through. Hmm, what? Oh, a broken bottom tab on my Tacx Tao cage. Is this what I get for using plastic cages? I’ve had the cages about two years, but they haven’t been in use the entire time. I am expecting too much out of them or should I try to get them replaced by Tacx? I do love penning a long, strongly worded customer response letter…

    And on this topic, riding in the dark in the country really, really makes you appreciate nice gear that holds up. Just having to shove my bottle in my jersey made the ride a little less enjoyable. Makes my purchases of classy, well-built stuff that holds up a bit justified, beyond my craving of PRO-slickness!

  34. @Ron
    Nothing wrong with putting road slicks on a cross bike and riding it year round.

    Although I suspect that the lower tire pressure is part of the comfort.

  35. G’rilla – I’m leaning towards this idea more and more. The cx bike just feels GREAT. And, this brings up a question I had on my mind.

    Question for the lads: I have some decent Mavic CXP33s on my rain/winter/around town/lock up bike, which is a solid, decent De Bernardi. I was thinking about pulling these off this bike and using them on the cx bike as road wheels. Currently I just have cx knobbies and it’s set up tubeless so can’t swap tires easily

    I thus need a new wheelset for the winter/rain/ lockup bike. Anyone have any suggestions on bargain wheels that don’t need to be anything special? I’ve seen the Fulcrum 7s on a few sites for around $150 shipped at 1800 grams. Again, weight doesn’t really matter, mainly price does. I guess I could scour fleabay them.

    Or, does anyone have a rear wheel sitting around they never use? (have a nice cassette, needs to be Shimano/SRAM freehub) None on my local c-list. I’m not sure how we feel about swaps ’round here, but I figured I’d ask, since some folks do have wheel fetishes. Sorry if I’m breakin’ any unwritten Rules.

  36. There are no rules to describe the weather being perpetrated outside my windshield right now.

    Let’s do this!

  38. I finished my first two cyclocross races this weekend. As far as I’m concerned, this is pretty much the best sport ever invented. Thanks to @frank for motivating me to do it (indirectly).

    This morning I drove about an hour to the race. It had been raining all night and I heard that the course had some special elements.

    I managed to park next to the course designer who had spent the last few days bulldozing a path through the forest. I later learned that he was a complete sadomasochist. He said that he intentionally placed the 30 meter long, 20 percent grade uphill run up through thick dirt such that riders would be “totally gassed then have to immediately focus in order to navigate the serpentine section through the woods with perfect bike handling skills.”

    It was followed by a similar soft dirt downhill which, thanks to 8 hours of rain, was completely muddy.

    The new Gin & Trombones bike performed superbly. It has a way of letting the back wheel slide around while keeping the front wheel straight on course. Except, of course, for the few times when I laid it right down into the dirt. Which was quite soft and would have been a nice place for a nap were it not for the fact that 40 riders were bearing down on me. I still can’t shift into the big outer ring on SRAM Rival with any consistency, but I hope to adjust it this week.

    Next door was a group of grade schoolers in unsoiled uniforms doing a football practice on a perfectly manicured astroturf field. It was a nice contrast to 200 twig armed cyclists covered in mud and mashing a big gear through two fist deep muck.

  41. G’rilla – AWESOME photo & great story! Okay, I’ve been thinking of reasons to let next year, not this year, be my first cross season. Seeing & reading that has me motivated to get out to the next race. Thanks! (cool on the wheelset, I’ll email ya!)

  45. Amazing what you find on the interwebs: What the fucking fuck??

    This has to be photoshopped.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.