The Bikes
The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.
It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.
The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.
If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.
- Rule #12 and the Cascade Effect
That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ... - Guest Article: Black Is Not The New Black@kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
- Dialing in the StableThis was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
- Matching the drapes to the rugAs a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
- Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourEveryone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...
@paolo
Nice work Paulo. I hope to hell you were wearing a V-kit. Rolling with T. Danielson, that is quite an experience. Did he like your bike?
@paolo
Very cool. Did you happen to ask him what the deal with the components is this year on the team?
Also… How can the S5 be UCI legal? I haves me a suspicion that they’re going to get a nasty surprise right before the Tour this year.
Oi. I just noticed. Please, for the love of Merckx, tell me that girl did not ride a TT bike during the group ride.
Tom was actually really personable and I managed on the second leg of the ride to monkey my way forward through the twenty or so riders to have a decent chat. He’s stoked for the TDF this year and isn’t really prioritizing anything else. Of course there’s the TOC but he says the timing is funny and he’ll only really give it a shot if it looks good, which I guess means he’ll be looking to peak two months hence but if the legs are good in May then maybe…
So this other chap joined us too…
I’m the fat bloke in the middle, my buddy Rob on my right and Dr Dreamy Patrick Dempsey on my left!
Also a very nice fellah! Had a nice chat about cycling in general and how I’m a bounder and a cad for working for “big Oil”!! I asked him if he had heard of this web site. he hadn’t. I told him I would be submiting a picture of his bike which would then be torn to shreds..he thought that was pretty funny, so here it is.
Yeah…that stem..hmmm And the EPMS. Other than that it’s Di 2 and S works and a Sram red cassette. Tom’s was a pretty regular dura ace 7900 set up with rotor cranks for anyone thats interested. Oh and Rotundo bars Frank…Of course.
Try that again..
why do the pics sometimes appear and other times not?
Anyhoo @ Gianni..I don’t own the sacred garments yet. Soon, soon,
Calamente..I forgot to ask about the components deal..I was thinking about it because it would be a good ice breaker and then I forgot.!
@Gianni
He did he did. I have better wheels !!
@Calmante
I’m afraid so. This was about half the group.
Both girls were tri-atheltes. So I guess the deal was that it was for cetain customers of just 3 or 4 Cervelo dealers in the area. Like a Cervelo PR thing.
When Tom rolled up with Patrick Dempsy he just said “Hi everybody I’m Tom,this is my friend Patrick” We had no idea he was coming. Both really nice down to earth guys. We did a pretty flat 65kms along the pch at a brisk pace.
@paolo
Can only presume that big stars get some sort of exemption for rocking horrible stem set ups.
Rider: “So Mr TV star, what’s with the fucked stem?”
TV Star: “My Doctor set this up for me to protect my back. With the amount of hot TV starlets I have shagged over the journey, my back has had to do a lot of work. My doc told me I had to make a choice between slamming down my stem or continuing to slam as many chicks as I do. I chose the chicks and had to compromise with the ugly stem. It was actually a difficult decision, but I think I chose correctly.”
@Gianni
The thing I really noticed and someone on this web site was on about it last week. Cadence. Even at a cruise TD was probably 10 rpm higher than everyone else all the time. It’s something I’m working on esp. when on the trainer. It was nice to sit in behind him when we upped the pace and try and mimick.
And what was he thinking with the single bidon on the seat tube. FFS!
@Marcus
I would have said that his saddle was like at least 3cm too low also, at least.
But what do I know.
So… Can Dempsey ride? That’s first and foremost on my mind.
Is there a rule against single bidon cages being on the seat post? If not, there needs to be, because that looks ridiculous. Also, I can’t imagine him needing an EPMS. Can’t he just call Katherine Heigl to give him a ride or something?
@paolo
You know, that drives me crazy! I don’t care who the fuck they are, no fucking TT bikes on group rides. Man, woman, or child. If they want to endanger themselves, whatever, but don’t put everyone else at risk.
You can’t by love guy has a bike with some real potential.
Some of you may find this amusing. For those from outside the Commonwealth, Shane Warne is one of Australia’s greatest ever cricketers who is also an extremely stupid bogan who sparked a Twitter-led outrage against cyclists.
@Marcus
That was the funniest thing all week! In Hawaii some wag used this clip for an superferry-antisuperferry argument and it was gold. This shit slays me every time. I wish I was clever enough to make one about, say, compact cranks…
@paolo
Another thing to Patrick Dempsey’s credit is he does a charity ride in Maine, where he is from, in the fall and everyone has a good old time, he usually gets some pros to come along.
@Marcus
Awesome. +1.
@paolo
Danielson is all like “Ladies…”.
Moving back to shoes, is this too much white? I kind of like the look.
@DerHoggz
Yeah..total pimp. I was suprised they wern’t draped over the Dempster. I dunno if everyone knew who he was. The only thing I said to him remotely fan like or anything was “man my wife is gonna be pissed she chose to go shopping at Ikea over riding”
@Calmante
I’d say he can but it was a casually deliberate 65k at about 26 27 kph on flats and small rollers so who knows. He’s lean so I imagine he’d climb better than my fat ass.
What do you mean about tri riders being dangerous? or TT bikes? I’ve ridden in tons of group rides where people are on tri or tt bikes. I think it’s a sucky look and sure they don’t handle great but most group rides are more casually deliberate than competetive..no? I don’t have anything like the experience most people have so I’m always ready to be enlightened.
@Marcus
Does the Di2 complicate the downtube bidon cage on that bike?
Change of subject as rim opinions needed: About to pull the trigger on some rims: Stan’s Alpha 340 or Ambrosio Excellights? Price difference is about $15/pr. I know the 340s are a bit more flexy, but I’m pretty easy on wheels and only weigh 72kg and can remedy the flex with spokes. That weight difference is tough to ignore.
@Gianni
No shit? I will have to try to make it sometime, have to schedule my vacation tieme around it.
@paolo
It’s not that triathletes are dangerous, it’s that you just can’t ride a TT bike safely in a group. Not possible. Were they on their bars? How can they steer or brake adequately in a group? While on the topic, why on earth do they need a TT bike to go on a 26kph ride? According to the cadence calculator, that’s a 39 x 17 at 90 RPM. I mean, that’s fine, but on a TT bike? It’s like driving an F1 car to the grocery store.
We’ve had this tri-bars argument a lot lately in our cycling group which is very triathlete heavy.
The braking I’m not so worried about, since you don’t want people slamming on brakes in a group anyway.
The main things that I’ve seen happening with people on tri bars is that they don’t have great control on the bars – a sideways gust of wind tends to cause them to veer alarmingly and freak everyone out.
Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, if you are down on tri bars it is impossible to give hand signals about road hazards, movements etc.
On road bars you just have to lift one hand and point or indicate but on tri bars they have to shift all their weight back and move both hands, which they seem either incapable of or unwilling to do.
We’ve officially banned them but people still try to use the bars – I just tell them I won’t ride in the same group if they keep doing it.
Ummm, and who is Patrick Dempsey ?
@Calmante
Maybe thems the only bikes they got? Who knows. The one girl did peel off mid ride to go do her “intervals”.
@ChrisO
Ask your wife…she knows.
I had my first proper ride today in about a week. Damn, setting out on a tuned, trusted road bike for a few hours is just magic. Wind, sun, some shifter clicks, a squirt of water or two…what a great way to spend a Sunday.
I too have slipper feet. Narrow, bony, narrow heels, nightmare. Genius 6.6s with Super Feet yellow soles are perfect all day. Ergo 2s with a variety of inserts, no dice. I think the cool looking material + super stiff soles are just feet killers. But, they look nice!
Tommy D. Awesome! PROs are so skinny that their helmets often look big.
@ChrisO
I can handle (only just – and I definitely prefer not to – but if its their only bike, and they are chicks, i would make an exception) riders on tri bikes if they stay off their aero bars so they can brake. But if they ever get into an aero position they must be removed from the bunch. Immediately.
@DerHoggz
You could maybe ask if you could borrow his for the next few months…
@paolo
Interestingly, my VMH sets her Roubaix up the same as McDreamy. Just sayin’, that’s all.
Note “Obey the Rules” in red flash on head tube…
@marcus
Yup. Fo sho.
In any case, I’ve never come across a rider on tri bars that couldn’t be dropped on a group ride the first time the front wheel rises above the rear wheel.
@Calmante
As we’re bagging triathletes, I see Armstrong came second in a half Ironman event yesterday which apparently had a pretty strong elite field.
From one perspective I can see it is pretty amazing he can do that at 41, but it does make me question comparative performance levels in that sport.
His goal is to qualify and win the World Championship. Yes, that sport is like a pair of clown shoes; big, slow, laughable.
@Calmante
Don’t be a dick. Maybe they ride slower than you because they have to run a fuckin half marathon after.
Its not my sport but there’s plenty of Rule V on display in Ironman “fo sho”.
@Calmante
and no style at all.
@harminator
Come on, now. If we can’t unite against the blight that are tri-dorks on group rides all over the world, especially here, the last bastion of the curators of style and panache, then all hope is lost. Seriously, though, fuck ’em.
@DerHoggz
Not too much white…just too much douche.
Even RDV is getting in on the tri-bagging act. He tweets… who knew !
In mijn tijd deed ik ook al aan triatlons: eerst keihard fietsen, daarna zwemmen in ‘t geld, en dan lopen achter de vrouwen.
I am indebted to Google translate – I assume it is Flemish but the closest option was Dutch. Maybe one of our low country friends could provide a better version.
“In my time I was already in triathlons: first hard cycling, then swimming in money and then running after women.”
@ChrisO
Fuck yeah. RDV ftw.
@ChrisO, @Marko
Loving the background to RDV’s tweet page, pristine rows of granite.
TT and Tri bikes are acceptable on a group ride, but for two problems. As stated before, absolutely under no conditions should they ride on the extensions, they’re barely controllable on the cow horns. Second, if the ride starts kickin’ and sprinting for town lines, they absolutely may not under any circumstances use the bars to bridge up or stay clear of the group.
I don’t have anything against triathletes other than I don’t understand the compulsion to be mediocre at three sports when you could be like me and focus at being mediocre at just one.
@frank
I was a triathlete in a former life (I’m in recovery now – this site is part of my therapy), and there is plenty of V displayed every weekend at the sharp end of triathlon races everywhere. Middle of the pack triathletes however …
Whether a TT bike belongs on a group ride depends on the group and on the rider on the TT bike, but I agree with one thing – stay off your TT bars – stay on the hoods. Handling a TT bike is another order of magnitude harder than a road bike – especially for the inexperienced.
I raced IMFL in 2005 and for those who would like to look up my results you can search my name on sportstats.ca. The rest of my results are there too. Flame away!
@Mikel Pearce
Everybody should follow the sport they love however TT and Tri riders should organize their group rides themselves or join roadies with proper clothing on a race bike.Can’t see the problem.Would you join MTB group ride on a race bike,no I guess.
@TommyTubolare
That’s exactly what I did when I was a triathlete. But sooner or later one wants to ride with stronger riders. At that point I still only had the TT bike.
I would note that a TT bike is a race bike. In fact I would say it’s more of a race bike than a road bike as TT bikes are miserable unless you ride them at a proper speed.
Road bike on a mountain bike ride – not a fair comparison. What about a cross bike?
Is Bertie riding a Compact ring?
@Dr C
I think many pros do when its time to go up hill.
@Mikel Pearce
Cross bike serves its own purpose.It’s for cyclocross.
And when it’s ITT ride you’re on your own,when TTT it’s a group together all on TT bikes.
Anyway I’m not gonna get deeper into that.Since I stopped racing I mostly ride alone and when I trained we were all racers in a group,you know,steel,sew-ups,white socks-riders had style.Now it’s all fashion,no style,you see a group ride and you’re like WTF?
I’m sure you get the point.
@ChrisO
Flemish and Dutch are the same – theoretically. they just sound different. very, very different…
@frank
“Swim, Bike Run … we’re good at none. Swim, Bike Run … we’re good at none”
Just love that little chant!