The Bikes
The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.
It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.
The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.
If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.
- Rule #12 and the Cascade Effect
That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ... - Guest Article: Black Is Not The New Black@kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
- Dialing in the StableThis was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
- Matching the drapes to the rugAs a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
- Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourEveryone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...
@Gianni
The Old Man of the Mountain model, no doubt.
@brett
I’m pretty sure most people would make fun of my bike for one reason or another, but they don’t have to ride it, i do. I personally don’t care what a bike looks like. Also, I tend to try to make my bike look kinda dumb, partly because it bothers people, and it’s amusing that I can make someone angry because my bicycle looks “stupid”.
@brett
My dear old Mum used to say to me, “If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”, a mantra to live by. Not that I do though…
For the record I like your bikes a lot. And you’re okay too, you grumpy bastard.
@Oli
Your mum sounds lovely! My mum just told me to get back under the house (just kidding – Bretto’s mum told him to do that)
@Gianni
Forget all my guesses – they LOOKs get made in Tunisia, in a dedicated LOOK factory. Tunisia used to be a French protectorate so I guess they get cheap labor and they get to do business speaking French. Think the frames get painted by the Cheese-eating surrender-monkeys at their place.
And i just learned a little bit about hashishins. Cool.
@Gianni
(snicker) NAMBLA….
@brett
Agree about ISPs (dons his you-know-what). Another marketing gimmick of arguable benefit. I understand that there is no weight saving if the same stiffness as a normal seatpost is desired (which it will be). And they are a pain to size correctly, cut, transport and sell. And component suppliers can’t sell any more seat posts.
@Tartan1749
Agreed. My internal engineer loves straight and strong tubes (except ISPs).
@minion
My mum never spoke to me at all, coz she had nothing nice to say about me…
(Of course not true, I’m awesome and so is she)
@Marcus
teeheee!
@Calmante
That bike may be a time machine (pun intended) but it is butt ugly. Sort of Mad Max meets the Velodrome.
@Marcus
I am going to garage to Look for a sticker… I have that issue of Rouleur and will do some research.
@Oli
Why?! I’m trying to find a comparable analogy, but I just can’t. Nike shoes with Adidas socks, maybe? No, it’s worse than that.
@Anjin-san
Na, I stand by it. That bike is beautiful. The only things I would change on that machine right there are the contact points, just because I have different preferences for bars, saddle, pedals. It’s beautiful.
@Calmante
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (beer holder?), but the Time just isn’t sensual at all. To me, it’s sort of like the girl who is is all angles and no curves. Sure she is fit and trim, but without some smooth curving lines lines it just doesn’t do it for me.
@Calmante
My #2 (waiting in Melbourne for my next holiday) is a De Rosa. With SRAM Rival. With Ultegra wheels.
I will ride it in Time Ulteam RS shoes, mated with Look Keo carbon pedals.
@Anjin-san
This is the last time I post a client’s bike up on here. If you think slamming someone’s new pride and joy is the way to behave I despair for humanity, and my opinion of this “community” goes down a huge notch. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of a critique but saying it’s “butt ugly” is just plain fucking rude.
@Calmante
He used to ride Time pedals but, for what ever reasons, has changed to Looks.
@Gianni
Agreed. No matter how aesthetic (or not, given the beholder), there’s always a bit of ‘new envy’ willing to rip out my #1’s soul when a new bike is posted. Bring it on!!!!
@Oli
I can’t blame you, but that’s certainly a shame, especially if you routinely build gems like that one.
There might be a new Rule in that one Oli. As long as its rule compliant it does seem rude to rip someones bike. And as a rider of an SLT01 I find your client’s bike quite nice. I can, and often do, appreciate classic tubing as well. I also appreciate Calmentes comment regarding drop. The “Eddy Fit” as Competitive Cyclist calls it is apt, performance oriented, comfortable, and cool.
@Blah
Ha! My #2 is a Pinarello with Campagnolo Record, ‘cept with Specialized crank arms, Modolo brakes, Look Carbo Pros… I can appreciate that. However, I am planning on a restoration of that bike to a complete circa 1986 Campagnolo gruppo.
@Oli
The fact that the ‘community’ can say if they like a bike or not is why we have a community. And we all live in democracies, where the right to free speech is one of the most rigourously fought for. I don’t think calling a bicycle ugly is cause to despair for humanity. If your client loves his bike, cool. Most people here seem to love it too. Some don’t. Shit, looks like we got ourselves a democracy!
I’m sure there are plenty of examples of disagreement we could dig up to further prove that no matter how much you, I, Frank or any member of this community argue about shit that doesn’t really matter in the big scheme of things, we all come back here and have a laugh at each other’s and our own expense, and that’s exactly why we are this fucked up little ‘community’.
Now, here’s a Time I really like…
Yeah, well we have different ideas about “free speech”, as we’ve already established. Like most of us, I’ll happily pull someone up for something they say or write, but I don’t think it’s remotely funny or clever to rip someone for how their bike looks…or how they look, for that matter. As I said, a bit of gentle criticism is fine, but just because you are allowed to say whatever the fuck you like doesn’t mean you should. I’m not saying anyone has to like it, but there’s no need to be a douche about it…
Everyone settle down and remember: it’s the fundamental things that apply, as Times go by.
And thanks for saying my Denti looks cool @Oli.
@Bianchi Denti
Your Denti is sweet, but you’re one of the ugliest bastards I’ve ever met…
I’m just glad I’m not the biggest douche on the site any longer. Yay, me!
@Calmante
is there a jersey for biggest douche?
I agree the Time VXR is a fantastic looking bike.
Yes those are LOOK pedals (CX-6) and the white bar tape has to go; only 3 rides to trash it. Touching on another thread; the bidon cages are stainless steel King Cage Iris model.
@Calmante
Dont count yourself out just yet. So far you have shown flashes of individual brilliance never before seen on this site. This brilliance may still see you eventually prevail.
“You know Phil, I think this race is going to be decided by just one all-out effort by one of the GC Men. At some stage, and it will only be in a split second, one of the contenders is going to unleash on the rest of the bunch. And the result of this race will be determined in an instant.”
@brett
@silkrider
Yep. It carries the image of a tall, skinny & bald Australian!
Seriously though, it’s all in good fun. Just watch your back on tomorrow’s ride, @Brett….just kidding…or am I…?
Yeah, I am. See you tomorrow.
@gravity bob
That’s a large stem you have there.
@Calmante
I also hope Oli keeps posting builds. It’s like a dream bike pin up service.
@Oli – it could have been worse. You could have posted a customized S5 build. Nothing brings the hate from the Velominati Cervelo Cabal like that model.
@itburns I may well be over-reacting of course (as usual?), but I seriously won’t post any more bike pics. I don’t know if that client was a Velominati reader before I put his bike up for a mauling, but I bet he isn’t now – who would want to post their bike when people say mean-spirited shit like that about it? I don’t know about you, but I deeply love my bike and would be pissed off if someone just up and called it butt ugly…
I was expecting Look pedal questions and other minor quibbles but, seriously, why would I open up my friends and customers to that sort of abuse?
@Oli
It’s a shame you don’t feel like posting up future builds, it’s not my cup of tea but the quality of the build can’t be faulted and the detailed photo’s on your fb page are testament to that.
Having said that, I was in two minds whether to say if you’re going to post pictures of it then HTFU and live with the comments or agree with the sentiment of “if you’ve nothing nice to say…” but given that many of us on here seem to cherish our bikes as much (or more) than our kids, I’d say it’s probably an area that needs to be treated with a bit of diplomacy.
@Oli
Agreed. As the Hiphopopotomous says – “be more constructive with your criticism”.
On another matter, doesn’t anyone kill the weeds sprouting in their driveways in NZ?
@Marcus
You know, it would be kind of fun to have a Lanterne Rouge icon handed out for a week at a time, just like the +1 Velomanitus jersey. It could be a picture of literally a red lantern, and I think it would be both funny and a little bit of a deterrent to being a douche… Whaddya think?
@harminator
Are you the Rhymenocerous?
@gravity bob
Once again, the saddle to bar drop looks great on this bike, as well.
@Calmante
@harminator
Are you the Rhymenocerous?
Did Steve tell you that? What’s he got to do with it?
I think there’s already a Lanterne Rouge for last place in the VSP…
But maybe there should be a weekly Cuddles icon awarded for posts which reflect complete social ineptitude
@gravity bob
What the fuck is up with that garage door? Jeebus that thing looks shit. Who’s ever garage door that is must be totally clueless and a doosh.
@Marko
Never mind the garage door. Look at the floor – that thing is gleaming! Mine is still covered in winter grit, sand and oil spots.
@Bianchi Denti
Nice bikes BD.
What’s the background view on the Wilier photo?
@Oli
Nice work Oli!
I’m sure your mate will be pleased.
@Marko
I don’t use this expression too often, but LOL. F-ing priceless.
@Oli
Just out of curiosity, did your client know you would be posting a pic of his bike on this site before you did it?
@Calmante
We already have it for the person in last place in VSP. But the idea is inspired, except that it doesn’t seem worth the programming to set it up, only to pass it off between you and Oli all the time…Besides, with a little focus, I’m confident you can wear the the LR and we’ll just say its for both purposes.
This friends is an ugly bike:
@scaler911
But an awesome haircut!
@Marko
lol… I agree. The house is a rental, it’s not my garage door.
@scaler911
Is that a little person with a forty in a brown paper sack on a chopper bike?
@Oli
In the face of some wrongheaded opinion, if I was your mate/client, I would just sit back and console myself in the knowledge that I own arguably the best production bike on the planet. If I was him I would just be worried about being able to ride it fast enough to do it justice.
Keep posting bikes. Please.
@Marcus
Yep.