The only thing worse than being two months from peaking and too fat to climb is being two months past peaking and in the middle of the season of rapid weight gain. At least with the former there is something to look forward to as you measure the incremental gains of your training as the almost daily rides of the season accumulate on your Strava profile. The latter can seem like a long dark tunnel that leads only to fat and slow. For those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, on the tundra and ice-covered roads, with only 8 1/2 hours of daylight, a proper road ride and last season’s gains can seem like a distant dream. The juxtaposition of climbing well for your weight and expanding into a larger jersey size before your very own eyes is a cross the Velominatus must sometimes have to bear.
2012 was perhaps the best season I’ve ever had on a bike. It actually began on the trainer on New Year’s Day as I started training for the Keepers Tour. After returning from the trip of a lifetime riding the cobbles of Norther France and Belgium I was able to hold momentum at the start of the season at home. Next up was the Almanzo 100 in May, a very hard gravel race in which I was happy with my result. Then, the guys began gathering for our Tuesday group rides. On the whole, the group really got after it this year and we pushed each other to some great levels of fitness. Coupled with my almost daily solo rides, I was seeing progress early and often. Then the season was punctuated in September by a 15th placing in the Heck of the North, another gravel race. I had timed my peaks pretty well for an amateur and as my Strava numbers got bigger La Volupte and I had become closer acquaintances.
Then November happened. I hold about as much appreciation for November as I do for March in this part of the world. That is to say none. November and March are the shoulder seasons and the only time of year when running actually seems like a plausible way to stay fit. In November the Rule #11 chickens start coming home to roost, the roads can turn to shit and aren’t safe to ride, and graveling becomes an exercise in survival as half the month is slotted for deer hunting. Mates that haven’t been seen all summer start to wander into town again for Happy Hour beers at the local micro-brew. Food becomes laden with butter, chocolate, and carbs. This November was exacerbated by the fact that I went down for two solid weeks with a viral infection. I was so fucking sick I shit the bed one night. For Merckx’s Sake it took a lot of the V to recover from that one. Now I know how Thor must have felt about this year’s Spring Classics campaign. The only difference being my spring was better than his and my fall was his spring.
So let me have it. Tell me to Rule #5. Tell me to get out and ride my bike, set up the trainer, stop whinging. I probably deserve it after all this. I’m banking on the fact though that there are others like me out there. Others who have witnessed their own precipitous descension from peak form to shit in the matter of weeks. It really is incredible, the difference in how long it takes to build that form and how quickly it disappears. So please, grant me this one confession. Share your own despair if you like but then let’s move on. Let’s share in the fleeting catharsis that being a little bitch can offer and then begin the long, painful, and awesome slog back to the V together again.
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Marko + the rest of ya - Talk about a timely article! Today was meant to the end of the line of my own personal Descension * the first day on the path back to fitness. Hmm, it's now 14:00 and it's not looking good though.
November evaporated with house searching, then buying, then moving. I also suffered what I think I'd say is the worst injury of my entire sporting career, which is saying a lot. Got my ankle smashed by a big, slow dude on a very late challenge at soccer way back in early October. It still doesn't feel right, maybe 85%. Been riding far, far less than I have the previous few years, feel fat as a pig, bending down to tie my shoes makes me feel horrible, and yup, I think I've had something to do involving drinking around four nights a week for a month or two. And next week might be the busiest of the year - Monday = 6 month marriage anniversary (six months on from Merckx's birthday), Tuesday is soccer + heading out after with the lads, Wednesday going to see a band, Thursday and into Friday...roommates birthday/End of the World party. Damnit.
All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not the only one. And, one major factor in my lack of riding is my focus on getting out of graduate school, which has been slowed by being in awesome form for a few years. Thus, I guess I'll suffer through the new few weeks, feeling fat, lazy, and slow. Should be able to grind out some major work, then be all ready to get back into serious training in late January and be back on form for the Spring Classics.
Thank you for making me feel a bit of camaraderie & not like the only slob on the block. And damn, I gotta get into form for the CX championships or else any of the Followers I meet are going to think there's a fat dude convention in Louisville along with the cyclocross racing.
Suggest you change your tampon and get back on the bike.
That goes for all of you.
Buck - 26 days?! Wow, okay, I feel better. I commute daily so ride at least 40 minutes a day no matter what. Hope you heal up soon!
Cyclops - best of luck with your weight goal & for finding a bit of form in your last few weeks in the Rainbow!
Velovita - pregnancy & first child. Yikes, makes home ownership & six months of marriage seem easy. Good luck! Are you still planning on going to Louisville or is that a major TBD with the little one on the way?
I feel ya, Marko. My first season back on the bike after along while off it. Started riding (again) in August 2011, had a realtively mild winter, so I was out in January of '12 (in Chicago, no less!) I was on a path to fitness I hadn't seen since my years in the service, and things were looking good. Pulled off my 1st Century on the Holy Day (June 17th, a birth date I humbly share with The Prophet) after working a midnight shift and only getting an hour nap, and 3 hours sleep the night before. Nothing was stopping me. My regular rides were metrics and I was breathing down the local racer's necks on Strava, posting some great numbers all through August.
Then Septemeber came, while out on the bike I got a frantic phone call from my wife. My father-in-law was rushed to the hospital- cardiac arrest, quit breathing, seizures, the whole nine. This was on his birthday-Sept. 6th. For 2+ months my days consisted of working 12 hour days,7 days a week, for 1.5 months straight (then 6 day-8's), going to the hospital to visit, eating fast food, getting little sleep, and then back at it all again, untill he passed away in mid-November. All my training- shot in the ass. Gained 10 pounds from eating/sleeping poorly, not riding, and being stressed out and strung out emotionally. Weather went from perfect to absolute shit, and I had only got on the bike once during a luckily timed day off and great weather. And I rode like a old woman with a gas-pipe frame and spring seat. My ass hurt. I had no wind. My legs were screaming. And to top it off, it was an embarassiing 12.4k back-in-the-saddle warmup ride. Nothing heavy. Just clear the mind and go out and ride. Suprisingly, in spite of my disappointment and complete lack of performance, it was healing. I invested in a trainer for pennance. I have been flagellating my fat body mercilessly now and praying intently for another mild winter. And a Wilier Cento1 with Campagnolo Chorus 11 for Christmas, as well.
@PeakInTwoYears
I feel that's where I am. I lost a bit from the general anaesthetic then went in to carb abstinence/atkins frenzy during the serious downtime...now things have plateau'd but I am in full Crimbo consumption mode, doing an hour a day on the turbo and still losing about a pound a week....perfect!
I worked hard early on this year, the Keepers Tour was a big target for the end of my first year of road cycling and I was pretty happy with the condition I got myself into for it.
There were a few gaps in the program through summer but by July, I was getting a good bit of weekday riding and regular 135 km Sunday club runs. I was feeling strong, my body was getting very used to the bike and the spacers were coming out from under the stem. I hadn't lost much weight, 3 - 4 kg tops but the was certainly some redistribution going on and I hadn't felt so fit or svelte since I was about 16.
I didn't manage to ride as much as I hoped on holiday in France but the rides that I did were quality. The highlight was a solo raid into the Pyrenees, going over the Hautacam and Tourmalet. I may not have been the fastest to have done it but it was an epic day out for me.
Comming back from France it seems like either Mrs Chris or I have been out of the country working at any given time and I struggled to get back into it properly until a couple of weeks ago when I realized that I couldn't keep putting it off and got back out with my sensei and started to hit the rollers. It felt shit; riding two up on a 25 mile TT course (with some evil little berg like hills) into cold headwinds, it felt like every time I caught his wheel he'd push the pace again but I was loving it.
Now, though, my sinuses are fucked, my head skull hurts and any ground I had made is going out the window quickly. It's amazing how easy it is to stay off the booze and naughty food when it's all going well.
@Carpy Shit, thanks, why didn't I think of that. Time to toughen up, as I tell the kids.
@Buck Rogers Running? That sucks. Hope your back on the bike soon.
@Deakus
That's not on the banned list is it?
This article & the stories are also great because they:
a) remind me I'm not the only one strugglin' to find time/health to ride & rediscover some form
b) puts my "hardships" in perspective, when some of you have some really serious issues of family health problems, crazy work hours, VMH pregnancy, etc. Suddenly my life ain't so tough.
c) reminds me that even those of us whole really love cycling & consider it a major part of our lives do have low times when the passion seems to waver. Highs & lows I suppose.
I'll keep on searching for my old form so long as the rest of ya do the same!! Good luck.
There's no off-season, there's only "season"... well, that's what I tell myself. But I spent three years commuting with weekend rides only in fair weather and put on a few kilos. I've only been back at it since June and I can't let myself quit. So, I'm the guy who's counting calories in the bar ("I can have... two drinks!") and sweating it out with dark intervals either on the trainer or outside every morning. It all stemmed from a very slow time up a local mountain climb and feeling, for the first time, like I needed to have a nice lie down... when did this happen? When did I get so fat?
Because I've still got 5 more kilos to go. Because I still feel too fat to climb. Because I never want to feel as shitty as I did. And you know what, it feels good to roll back home at 8:15, passing schlubby commuters in hi-vis yellow after clobbering your ass in the dark and cold. Hubris and all that rot.