La Vie Velominatus: The Gifts of Rule #9

An early morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

We’re not really supposed to have favorites, but everyone does. Just ask your parents. So while I’m not supposed to have a favorite, I do, and its Rule #9.

Bad weather immediately separates the wheat from the chaff, and so the weekend warriors stay indoors and leave the roads to the devout. I talk most often about riding in the rain, with the drops of water dripping from my cap acting as my personal metronome as I carve a path through the chaos towards a happier self. But sunny days in the cold can provide their own glorious solitude.

On Keepers Tour 2013, we had unseasonably cold weather, and some of the best rides we had were early morning spins before heading off to the races. With the sun hanging low over the horizon, we rode through our frozen breath, together in close formation yet each of us retreating inward as we steeled ourselves against the cold. These were beautiful, peaceful rides.

This winter in Seattle has been relatively dry, but also cold. On the weekends, the country roads are nearly deserted and all that is left is the silent, still air and the burning of cold air as it enters my lungs. On a recent solo ride on Whidbey Island, I spun down the same roads which only a few months earlier I had ridden with friends on the annual Whidbey Island Cogal. The island seems a full place then, now it looked like an entirely different place – empty and beautiful.

There is something about the way the bike handles in the cold. The tires are firmer, the rubber less supple. The connection between bicycle and road seems simultaneously harsher and more fragile than in the warm. The muscles in my arms and hands are also more twitchy in the cold. Not twitchy like I can suddenly sprint; twitchy like I have difficulty controlling what they are doing – where normally I pride myself on holding a clean line, in the cold a small bump in the road might trigger a spasm that sends the bike into a wobble. Its an exciting way to ride.

Quiet roads, a still harbor, an early morning sunrise; these are the gifts reserved for those who ventured out when others stay in. These are the gifts of Rule #9.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @The Oracle

    @wiscot

    @The Oracle

    Whoops, just saw the note re: metric, and of course you are right. That would be negative 29 C outside, and 2 C in my basement.

    Need to get you and Teleguy57 on a cogal this year. I've found some new roads that are great.

    Works for me, my friend. Last year was a down year with very little riding due to new baby, moving, new job, new house, etc. I'm looking forward to putting in a lot of kilometers this summer to make up for it!

    I'd be very interested as well. All of this below zero garbage has me dreaming of spring and summer!

  • @frank

    Snow rules, but fuck me if anyone outside the midwest knows what the fuck to do with it.

    Two years ago, the VMH and I were in your fair city for a visit. There was a snow "storm" that came through right before we flew in--I think it dropped 2-3 inches, max. The woman at the rental car counter tried to convince us to rent a tank and not the compact we had reserved. When we declined and said we'd be fine, she look at us like we were nuts. I told her we were from Milwaukee and we'd call this a dusting.

    We stayed downtown, and fuck me if we could find a restaurant open. We walked around for quite a while and ended up having to eat in our hotel. Now, I know it doesn't snow there a lot, but I grew up in the PNW and I know damn well that it does snow from time to time. Should take more than 3 inches to shut down a city. Rule #5 Seattle!

  • @Teocalli

    @PedallingTom I think the bars are to improve the seating position for this......

    More mountain related bike stupidity. Starting in London, take a Boris Bike, ride it up Ventoux then have it docked back in London before incurring a fine of £150 for having out for more than 24 hours...

  • @KW

    @frank

    Snow rules, but fuck me if anyone outside the midwest knows what the fuck to do with it.

    Two years ago, the VMH and I were in your fair city for a visit. There was a snow "storm" that came through right before we flew in-I think it dropped 2-3 inches, max. The woman at the rental car counter tried to convince us to rent a tank and not the compact we had reserved. When we declined and said we'd be fine, she look at us like we were nuts. I told her we were from Milwaukee and we'd call this a dusting.

    We stayed downtown, and fuck me if we could find a restaurant open. We walked around for quite a while and ended up having to eat in our hotel. Now, I know it doesn't snow there a lot, but I grew up in the PNW and I know damn well that it does snow from time to time. Should take more than 3 inches to shut down a city. Rule #5 Seattle!

    Scaler posted a photo somewhere of a PNW highway with a faux electronic street sign with the message, "ITS SNOWING! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

    What I've learned living here and in the Southeast is that its not so much whether you can drive in the snow, its all the people around you. Without the infrastructure to support it, you'll be driving along happily in control and some idiot will come spinning out at you and crash into you.

  • @piwakawaka

    @frank and suspension? That's what arms are used for.

    The Chequamegon isn't the most technical race, but there are long steep climbs with plenty of rocks etc that saw the likes of Gene Oberpriller on foot. Choosing road shoes and pedals was commitment.

  • @frank

    Scaler posted a photo somewhere of a PNW highway with a faux electronic street sign with the message, "ITS SNOWING! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

    On par with this gem...

  • @frank

    @KW

    @frank

    Snow rules, but fuck me if anyone outside the midwest knows what the fuck to do with it.

    Two years ago, the VMH and I were in your fair city for a visit. There was a snow "storm" that came through right before we flew in-I think it dropped 2-3 inches, max. The woman at the rental car counter tried to convince us to rent a tank and not the compact we had reserved. When we declined and said we'd be fine, she look at us like we were nuts. I told her we were from Milwaukee and we'd call this a dusting.

    We stayed downtown, and fuck me if we could find a restaurant open. We walked around for quite a while and ended up having to eat in our hotel. Now, I know it doesn't snow there a lot, but I grew up in the PNW and I know damn well that it does snow from time to time. Should take more than 3 inches to shut down a city. Rule #5 Seattle!

    Scaler posted a photo somewhere of a PNW highway with a faux electronic street sign with the message, "ITS SNOWING! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

    What I've learned living here and in the Southeast is that its not so much whether you can drive in the snow, its all the people around you. Without the infrastructure to support it, you'll be driving along happily in control and some idiot will come spinning out at you and crash into you.

    Hell, even around here you have to be careful about that. People think they can drive in the snow, but then you get huge pileups on the freeway. "You mean I can't drive 80 in this? But I drive a giant SUV!" Morons.

  • So, there I was at lunchtime today.  I'd left my phone in the car in the morning so popped along to the multi-storey carpark to collect it.  When I got there, there was a hatchback (apologies, I don't know what our Murican brethren call them) with its tailgate open and a radio playing.  Nothing odd in that. I thought the owner may have been fixing it or a tire.  Then I noticed a whirring sound and the guy in the space between the front of the car and the carpark wall, on his turbo, banging out a training session. With it having rained sideways here for a few days, he's obviously kept his bike and turbo in his car and used his lunchtime and some ingenuity to train.  Top marks.

  • @Mike_P

    So, there I was at lunchtime today. I'd left my phone in the car in the morning so popped along to the multi-storey carpark to collect it. When I got there, there was a hatchback (apologies, I don't know what our Murican brethren call them) with its tailgate open and a radio playing. Nothing odd in that. I thought the owner may have been fixing it or a tire. Then I noticed a whirring sound and the guy in the space between the front of the car and the carpark wall, on his turbo, banging out a training session. With it having rained sideways here for a few days, he's obviously kept his bike and turbo in his car and used his lunchtime and some ingenuity to train. Top marks.

    That's fucking fab! Here though, you'd come out for a trainer session in the parking garage and find the hatchback open, bike and turbo missing, stereo gone, and when you got your shit together and started your car, it'd be super loud. Why loud you ask? Because the catalytic converter would be gone.

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