Imprecise Precision: L’Heure
Why would any sane person choose to suffer? The answer to this question is a primal one and of particular relevance to society in the current age: control. With chaos and uncertainty creeping from every corner of life, cycling provides us with control over physical suffering; to suffer at our own will provides us the control we viscerally crave. This control then provides us the courage to face uncertainty in life with the confidence that we can handle anything it can throw at us.
There is no challenge within Cycling which more comprehensively embodies this notion than The Hour Record, which represents the only event that pits the rider not against a course, but against Time itself; how far can the rider propel themselves in the span of sixty minutes while also suppressing their nausea as they turn left endlessly?
The cruelty is hard to grasp. As cyclists we suffer, but our suffering is normally proportional to it’s intensity – certainly it hurts to ride harder, but the harder we ride, the sooner the pain will subside. In the Hour, the duration of the suffering is uniform: the effort will last 60 minutes and no amount of increased suffering will shorten it, unless, of course, you believe Al Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, which states that for a body moving at speed, time moves relatively slower than it does for a body at rest. According to Al, then, the rider will experience a marginally reduced Hour measured not by a clock moving with the rider, but by a clock sitting at rest at the side of the track. (While this amount of time is mathematically negligible, it does explain why intervals on the trainer feel comparatively more interminable than intervals on the road.)
Eddy Merckx himself made the following observation after setting the benchmark effort of 49,431 meters in 1972:
The pain was very, very, very significant. There is no comparison with a time trial. There you can change gear, change your cadence, relax even if it is only for a few instants’ respite. The Hour is a permanent, total, intense effort, which can’t be compared to anything else.1
Knowing that the Prophet’s bunkmate was The Man With the Hammer, the triple use of the word “very” is somewhat panic-inducing.
In recent years, the Hour Record has sadly seen a decline in interest, with the last attempt by world-class rider having been made by Chris Boardman in 2000. Boardman was at the center of the Hour’s Golden Era in the early Nineties which saw Graeme Obree kick off a frenzy of attempts to raise it ever higher by first breaking the record in his innovative tuck position as an amateur in 1993. Boardman broke it a few months later, before Obree reclaimed it in his even-more radical Super-Man position. This was a period where Boardman, Obree, Miguel Indurain, and Tony Rominger all traded the record for the better part of a decade, each going ever-farther in evermore innovative riding positions.
The UCI put a halt to the interest in this record by establishing two records, the (Athlete’s) Hour Record and The Best Human Effort. The Hour restricts the equipment to that of a standard double-triangle frame with drop bars, while the Best Human Effort has no such restriction. While the intent was to establish a more equal judgement of the athlete instead of the focus on equipment, it misses the point that advancement, evolution, and innovation are all basic elements of what it means to be Human, and by eliminating these elements from The Hour, they eliminated the appeal in what is our sport’s most primal effort. After all, there were few riders willing to go head to head with Merckx in his time, and so there are few who are willing to do so today.
Chris Boardman stands apart in this regard and indeed went after the new record, which he broke by a whopping 10 meters3. Over the course of his career, he set the record three times, which makes him possibly both the toughest and slowest-learning human currently living; even Merckx declared he would never attempt the Hour a second time, despite having fallen short of his personal goal of 50,000 meters. Boardman describes the Hour in simple, physiological terms: with every push of the pedals, you break down the fibers in your muscles such that for each subsequent revolution, you have a little less functional muscle mass available to sustain your current speed and power through to the end. In a word, devastation. It is not the sort of thing one attempts more than one needs to.
To gauge an effort of this type is perhaps the most pure description of The V; you ride not as hard as you know you can, but as hard as you hope you might. Boardman, on the Hour Record:
You have three questions going through your mind:
How far to go?
How hard am I trying?
Is the pace sustainable for that distance?
If the answer is “yes”, that means you’re not trying hard enough. If it’s no, it’s too late to do anything about it. You’re looking for the answer “maybe”.2
Despite all the training, preparation, and technical advancement that goes into any attempt on l’Heure, it remains a matter of the Human element, one of imprecise precision.
1,2 These quotes are taken from William Fotheringham‘s biography of Eddy Merckx, Merckx, Half Man, Half Bike.
3 It has been broken since by other, lower-profile riders since.
@frank
I can’t imagine why you couldn’t access Boardman. You rode with the Lion for Merckx sake. Connections big guy, connections.
@Rob
Only yesterday did the the +1 Badge go to @ChrisO, but you’re next in line, mate. Well played.
@Souleur
Perfect.
@brett
I’m trying, actually. But haven’t been able to figure out the protocol for getting on the track out there. I emailed them (they’ve no phone number) but haven’t heard. I’d hoped to make an announcement for this article, but sadly I’m not able to do so.
Inchamerckx, I will. In my Molteni jersey.
P.S. No wonder you beat me in the track event. I wasn’t going nearly that hard. But didn’t you take the best time over all of us? Good on ya. I don’t know what anyone else’s excuse is and it doesn’t matter; you took the crown. After a bunch of cigs, no less. Survive on V, mate.
@sgt
Its funny you say this; I thought this same thing on my ride this evening based on some of the posts here today. But the thing is, you’d need an hour-long climb with exactly the same pavement and exactly the same grade (technically that’s horizontal, like a graders makes) and perfectly consistent steepness for an hour to get the same effect. There is NO CHANGE in the Hour…no breaks, not change in power, no change in gradient…nothing. Just a fucking sufferfest for an hour, unless you fucking quit because you’re a fucking asshole. Period.
@Nate
Try Haleakala. Four full hours of fun. Its the only reason I think I can take even a casual attempt at The Dutch Douche Hour. I bonked at one hour and some, and had 3 hours and some left to go. It was fucking awful.
Stop fucking talking about fucking one-hour climbs, ok? Fucking go ride fucking Haleakala and give me the cliffnotes on when you puked in your mouth and when you puke on your top tube. Those are the only two options.
@Dan_R
Brilliant. Another point Boardman makes in the Fotheringham book is that riding in the drops is way harder than aero bars. On the extensions, you’re spreading the weight out and reducing pressure. But in the drops, its all in the forearms. Check out Boardman in this photo (main) and check out the curve in the drop bars going up. That’s there to support his forarms and try to make it somehow tolerable.
Its amazing the load that’s on your body when you ride a bike. Then you get used to that, and you go hard up a climb and you find that your arms are somehow the weakest link. WFT? Then you train more and they can take it. Then you ride the cobbles and your arms are the weakest link. WTF? Then you trian more and they can take it. The you ride in the fucking drops for the hour with no hoods, no tops, no NOTHING other than the drops for an hour. And you’re completely fucked. FUCKED.
Vive l’Heure.
@scaler911
Touche. I am inspired to try. Merci, monsieur.
@frank
I might do that one day. Most I’ve done is Ventoux which was well under half the duration. Those km markers they put on the famous French climbs that tell you the average gradient for the next kilometer are the work of an evil genius.
@frank
I shall place it in my mind, deeply somewhere, that to quit on a hard climb is not the result of lacking form or it being impossible, but simply due to being a fucking asshole.
Nobody wants to be a fucking asshole; don’t be a fucking asshole.
Climb on!
@frank
The don’t-do-it due to reputational harm point puzzles me. I understand if you are Eddy Merckx circa 1972 at the peak of your glory why you would not want to fail. But does any one think less of Ole Ritter for trying his damnedest to best Merckx and nobly falling short?
@Gianni
Don’t forget the reimagined scene:
http://lunarpoodle.blogspot.com/2011/03/life-of-velominati.html
@eightzero
Haha, superb!
@frank
Find a climb that takes well over an hour. One that’s not out in the Pacific, so lots of people can get to it. Then see how far you can get up it in an hour. Invite others to do the same. Do it each June 17.
@Blah
Red Ranger’s Mt. Lemmon fills the bill, and the profile looks like it was drawn with a straight edge.
June in Tucson is lovely.
@Dan_R
A kilo is one of the three things every cyclist should do, purely for the actual, legitimate feeling of going backwards on a bike – you get over the gear the first lap, sprint the second lap, and hang on for the rest. The last 200 metres is the longest I’ve ever experienced. I can’t quite decide what else should be in there, but that’s definitely one of them. An hour will be about the stupidest thing I can think of doing on a bike, so of course I want to do it.
@xyxax
A climb’s not an hour equivalent. Ride seated for an hour with one gear trying to put out as much power as you can. Too many variables in a climb, Merckx must have ridden a bunch of long climbs and I can’t see a bunch of quotes of his describing climbs the same way he does the hour. The bite of failure you feel when you give up on the track is instant, unlike in the elements.
@minion
Absolutely; I wasn’t meaning to suggest an equivalence, but rather provide @Blah with a setting for his theoretical June 17 60-minute hill climb competition.
Besides, my sister/sensei lives there so I’m always ready to talk it up, even tangentially. When life gives you Tucson, make Lemmonade.
Equally tangentially, Brooklyn has its own indoor velodrome in the works.
@frank
Right bank. Its amazing the time that you have to research things WHEN YOU CAN’T FUCKING MOVE STILL LESS GET ON A BIKE.
@frank
You’d appreciate the interview Jack Thurston did with Mike Burrows a month or so back on The Bike Show Podcast. Burrows agrees and that is why his focus is entirely on HPVs (human powered vehicles, not STDs) now. He even goes so far as to suggest that pro racing would be more interesting if the UCI allowed HPVs (in the form of faired recumbents or whatnot) in prologues and time trials. I wouldn’t be for that, but I suppose its an interesting concept, though it would start to make cycling more like F1.
@xyxax
June? You will be adding a Rule #9 element to the ride.
@RedRanger
Have you done that climb before? Looks like an ass-kicker.
@mcsqueak
Unfortunately not. one day though.
@frank
Re: track protocol. Most velodromes will require you to take a basic track class or workshop, then buy a membership or pay drop-in fees to ride and have a license to race. Most have regular “open track” hours between races/classes, but I assume you would want an empty track for fewer distractions?
Dromes are generally non-profit and underfunded. They might be amenable to a rental or donation, or maybe you could set it up as a fundraiser. Online parimutuel betting anyone?
@frank
Oh Merckx. My track coach had me in the drops for entire sessions. The only time we were allowed up was sitting at the rail. And those narrow NKS sprint bars are …well narrow.
@minion
The kilo is so humbling. Yeah, that 3rd lap is a killer. “NASA We have deployed the chute early….”
@pistard
You ever seen people betting on keirin? And you think the racers are crazy?
Frank, we could set up a few keirin matches in between your Hour attempts. Because its not like you can do just one!
Jens’ tweets sometimes really crack me up. You can just imagine the little grin on his face when he typed this: “@thejensie: And we did my favorite tactics!! The good old ” DROP THE HAMMER ” My all time favorite, just put everybody through the meatgrinder- hahaha”
@RedRanger
Even to celebrate Merckxmas? Maybe at V a.m. when it’s only 35. Maybe not.
But my infrequent visits are always in winter. I do see a mini-Cogal in our future. The girls need to see their Auntie, hmmmm…..
@xyxax
I’m down for a winter mini cogal if your in town.
An epiphany! I always knew you were a smart bastard.
@VeloVita
I would suggest that if the UCI allowed HPV’s or had a ‘anything goes’ attitude toward the TT’s it would ruin the sport. Getting past the fact that we’d end up seeing quasi-bikes that would be fugly, ultimately only the teams with huge budgets could afford to spend the money on R&D to build the winning machines. IMHO, reeling in, and defining TT bikes was one of a few things that the UCI has done right. Can you imagine seeing Spartacus doing the prologue on a fully fairing equipped recumbent? I’d nip off and kill myself.
@minion
After we warmed up on the track for a bit in Belgium, Alex rolled up next to me and said, “Woof. This is good for the heart.”
Truer words were never spoken. And, I have to say, when we did our little pursuit, it was fucking brutal. Trackies are fat, but my goodness my guiness, they can hurt themselves.
@pistard
Thanks for the tip; that’s what I’d understood but I’m not able to get in touch with the folks there…they might make me go over there and talk to them in person, but my passport to the East Side has expired and I’m loathe to update it just to find out what the protocol is.
I can’t believe its June already, by the way.
@Cyclops
I’ve been waiting for someone to notice that. I expected to have some brainiac point out that I might have been wrong, but I’m pleased the first reference is to call me smart. Feels good. Doesn’t happen often. Usually its more along the “you stupid fuck” lines.
@scaler911
Good point. There is a line, though, somewhere between the two.
Completely badass.
Not so much.
Oh, shit.
RESET RESET.
Boardman just has a beautiful position on a bike – any bike. Amazing.
@eightzero
How did I miss this? Genius, I say, genius! I love that scene to death.
@RedRanger
The Missus and I have done it a few times, it’s a perfect climb except for lack of water available on the way up. Amazing views as one rises above the desert. I believe it ends up around 8k’, There is a little village for refueling and the descent is too fun. It’s the sort where you can go for miles without touching the brakes, warm dry air. Hmmmmm. perfect. I nearly collided with a huge vulture on the descent, it was lifting off some road kill as I went by at 80kph, damn close intersection of flight paths.
@Gianni
It’s a very non technical decent that’s for sure. Summer Haven is the name of that Village. And yeah if you are going to be taking a while water would be a major issue since there is nothing between Tucson and the top.
@frank
(206) 957-4555 is listed as the Velodrome Association # but it may just be a board member’s contact. Also (425) 998-7225, but that might be the facility/municipality.
@scaler911
20km or you’ll slide down the wall. Best thing to do is ride the fence and look down, it’s awesome.
@frank
Slap a Cervelo sticker on it and see who buys it.
@minion
No doubt. Heights don’t scare me, (my other passion is rock and ice climbing), but as they say, no one gets hurt or dies falling, it’s the sudden stop.
I too, would live to see a Cancellara have a go at th hour. But you people have overlooked the reason that there have been no recent attempts. And it is the same reason behind every decision of a pro to ride or not to ride. There must not be enough money in it!
If only some sponsor would put up a bounty of say a million bucks to get the record. That would be cool – and might see some broader interest raised in the sport. Just think of it “in one hour from now Faboo could be $1 million richer”…
Or probably a lot less in the impoverished world of cycling sponsorship.
@Marcus
With sport thesedays it’s more and more about bums on sofas than bums on seats, 1 hour of a single guy going round and round a velodrome would be hard to sell to the TV people.
Still, give Red Bull a call. They seem to have sponsorship money to burn. If there was decent cash prize on offer it would definitely spice things up a bit.
Also I think that the way cyclists earned their money may have changed a bit. Everything I’ve read about the previous generations of cyclists emphasised how important post season ‘exhibition’ style races were a big part of a pro’s income whereas that doesn’t seem to be the case now.
@Marcus
True enough, though I think there’s another element to it that hasn’t been covered; the guy who holds the record currently has tested positive for drugs a few times, the record is also sullied. So a rider has to not only beat the credible marks by Merckx and Boardman (essentially the same mark) and a higher discredited one set by a doper.
Faboo is our only hope, so everyone start petitioning Red Bull and 5-Hour Energy to sponsor a worthy prize. Make the prize a couple mil and the rider can boast to have the highest hourly wage in sport.
@napolinige
I think that has been more true in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s than it has been since the sport started modernizing in the 90’s. But to have a guy spin in a loop and see if he gets dizzy in an hour does leave something to be desired from a spectator sport perspective.
They can publish the schedule, and turn the even into a lap-by-lap nail-biter to liven it up, but thats about all there is on that one. Great point.
@minion
Oh I love to ride the rail! It can fuck with the other guy’s head to because he is wondering, “is this dip-shit asking me to ride him into the rail?” Yes. Yes I am. Because as you roll into me out come the elbows….
@frank
I think a promoter would do best is the attempt was the highlight of an overall festival/match. Spread some money around for a madison and some match sprints with the highlight of the day being an hour attempt. Make it an invitational and have Faboo start on one side of the ‘drome with another invited rider on the other a la pursuit. And Scorpions playing on the loud speaker.
@frank
Shame you missed this, I know you’d promised the VMH no new bikes for your hour attempt for the Festum Prophetae but it’s not really new is it?
@Dan_R
Uli Jon or modern Scorpions? I’m thinking Speedy’s Coming. Catch a Train would be cool too.