It only takes the most cursory glance through the Lexicon to realize that we have a special love for nicknames here at Velominati. I’m not sure what it is that compels us to call things by some made-up name instead of the actual ones; it almost seems like we’re bragging that we know something well enough to screw up it’s moniker. Which, of course, is ridiculous since in most cases we have no idea what we’re talking about.
We’re not alone in this absurd practice, however. People the world over rush to attach a nickname to riders; The Cannibal, the Badger, Le Professeur, Il Pirata, Der Kaiser; fans seem frenetic in their quest to give their favorite riders a more meaningful label. Sometimes the names stick, and sometimes they don’t. Miguel Indurain is one of the riders with whom monikers didn’t seem to agree; iteration after iteration passed by with the adherance of Teflon, and really only after his career ended did the name “Big Mig” start to take purchase.
There definitely seems to be a correlation between the toughness of a rider and our desire to attach a label to them. Fabian Cancellara is a good example of this, and his nickname of “Spartacus” is rather fitting. By that logic, however, I struggle to understand why we don’t have a better nickname for Jens Voigt, commonly considered the hardest man in cycling. Look at this picture: he’s dribbled Rule #5 concentrate all over his leg. The closest we’ve come to a nickname is “Der Jens”, and – although I’m not arguing against gravitas of meriting a pronoun – I’m surprised that we seem to be better at coming up with nicknames for the objects he runs into than we are at coming up with one for him.
Maybe he’s just a little too mystical; a little too hard, a little too nice, to have a nickname stick. In any case, I can appreciate the symbolism that his last name starts with the V.
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@Steampunk
"I get paid to hurt people. How good is that! I get paid to make other people suffer on my wheel, that is good."
Boom.
@Marko
Pah... nothing against the guy but I don't buy into the worship.
Honestly he's never won much has he, for someone who is supposed to be The Hardest Man In The Peloton. OK he bossed the Criterium International but has he even made the podium in one of the Monuments ? In a 15 year career you'd expect THMITP to have fluked it at least once.
My money would be on Stuart O'Grady in a mini-pump death-match. Finishing the Tour with a fractured vertebrae beats pulling out with a fractured cheekbone in my Top Trumps.
@Marko
Precisely. What's not to like?
@Dave Harding
That guy has a haircut that would inextricably lead one into a life of bare-knuckle fighting.
@Frenchie
++1
@ChrisO
I think he got second in La Doyenne after a Kamakazi with Veino a couple years back. Although, I have to say, in a mini-pump fight, I think Stuey wouldn't stand a chance, if only for JENS!'s superior reach.
I assume he'll be moving over to Team Lux-n-flux next year with the Grimps, which means he'll be on a weaker team and have freedom to rock it. He's said many times that he asks before every race if he can go in a break, and Riis usually says, "no". That's a tough position to win from.
@Brett
I may be on the other side of the world (York, at present) and hampered in my ability to send long emails, but I am not prepared to let an opportunity like that go begging: Brett, you're a COTHO. Jens not hard enough, not worthy of worship? Sheeit. When I get back, and have worked off the many kilos that stodgy food and warm ales are adding to my frame, I am coming for you, mofo ...
@G'Phant
Oh no, I'm being threatened from the other side of the world by a helmet mirror-wearing, frame pump-weilding, compact-riding lawyer! A Kiwi at that!
@ChrisO
Yep, I'd have Stuey on my side any day; and he'd be on the beers for added aggression, like any true freckled bloodnut Aussie!
Said it before. Jens ain't all that. But gotta respect him now after that crash last year. I'd have taken that as my cue to retire.
Hahah! Rule 5 Concentrate. Did you steal that from my Lance Theory?
as you might know VOIGT is a different spelling from VOGT
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogt
"Voigt" say it all. No need for another nickname.