The Way of the Cycling Disciple: Publication & e-Book Sampler

The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple
The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a recent such episode, I encountered a quote by Tommy Edison, inventer of several handy contraptions, including the lightbulb and motion picture:

Vision without execution is hallucination.

This brilliantly points out the fact that merely having an idea is nothing without the conversion of that idea into a tangible result. That, of course, is the elusive and difficult bit, but it is also the fun bit. Taking an idea from concept to reality is one of the most exciting and rewarding things a person can do.

It was about this time last year that James Spackman approached me via email and suggested we put a proposal together to do a book on The Rules. We loved the notion of this, and the Keepers set about putting a concept around this abstract notion, and a plan for how we might accomplish it. James provided feedback and guidance on how best to frame the concept, and led us through the proposal process. The proposal was approved, they made us an offer, we signed a contract, and turned around to stare down the business end of 70,000 unwritten words. Little by litte, we chipped away at it, and today, I am very happy to announce that the book has gone from concept to manuscript to editing to printing. What you see here are photographs of the actual book, printed and ready for sale on June 20, 2013. A free eBook Sampler with extracts from the book will be available free from June 6 to June 19. (Incidentally, the book will initially be published in the UK and Commonwealth countries; the US release of the book is expected in the Spring of 2014 through our US Publisher, WW Norton.)

The Rules stands apart from many blog-to-book concepts, where a book is little more than a re-publication of the blog’s archives. It was important to us that if people are paying for a book, that they are getting something they haven’t already read for free online. We also wanted to take advantage of the wonderful experience one has when reading a book; the sound and feel of a hard cover, the texture of quality paper, the creaking of the spine as you turn the pages, and the smell of the whole package.

The format of the book is very different from how The Rules are presented on Velominati. The book is organized into V sections, with each of The Rules aligned into one of them. The sections all have an introduction, and for every Rule, a passage has been written that either provides history or in some other way justifies the Rule, or provides an anecdote from our various lives as Velominati that might provide insight into why that particular Rule is in existence. The entire text is framed with a Prologue and Finale and topped off with an introduction by my personal Cycling Writer Hero, Will Fotheringham. With the exception of a paragraph here or there that was borrowed from our archives, the entire book is comprised of new material.

It gives us tremendous pleasure to see this project come to life as a real, tangible book. Special thanks to Sceptre Books for taking a chance on us. Words can’t describe our appreciation of our editor, Drummond Moir, who was the most incredibly patient man and guided us expertly through the process of write a great book. (Sorry for having accused you of being English, mate.) Thanks to Nikki Barrow, our publicist in the UK; keep your ears on the papers, radio and television waves as the fruits of her labors come to light. Finally, thanks to the Community for making this such a fun place that someone might want to do a book in the first place, and for tolerating our dull writing on account of all our creative powers having been drained into the book. I also suppose this means that the V Keepers should start considering themselves writers or, worse, authors. Strange to say the least, especially since I have always considered myself a software developer.

Keep your eye on the Sceptre Facebook and Twitter for the latest, and everyone rush to your nearest bookseller on June 20 to pick up your copy.

Amazon:

The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple

Obey the Rules: A Free Extract (eBook)

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/[email protected]/Septre/”/]

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346 Replies to “The Way of the Cycling Disciple: Publication & e-Book Sampler”

  1. @the Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    @the Engine

    Is now on sale in Stirling – already being described as the most exciting thing to happen in town since 1314

    where ? In the WH Smith cum Post Office place ?

    Yeah Mrs Engine was in town this afternoon

    holy mackinaw, could have had the Book in my grubby paws today ! Seems I fell for the Released June 20th media hype !!

  2. @the Engine

    As you know, I happened to be the haloed shop that is Waterstones Bookshop in Stirling today.  Whilst browsing through the romance section (reading about it as near as I get to the real thing these days) I happened to come across the XXX  shelf where to my horror was the hefty tomb that you had been harping on about for months called “The Rules”. I decided to buy said tomb (full price I have you know, Frank)  but as you know I have rules too and since you have been a very bad boy lately, spending too much time out of the house on your 2 wheeled stallion under the illusion that you are “riding like a lion”, you must adhere to rule number 5 – Do as you are asked, when you are asked or there will be no reward.  Therefore,  if you paint the downstairs room after riding like a “lion” this weekend with your man friends, you can spend all the time you like in the downstairs toilet reading your new book. xxx

  3. @frank

    The eSampler is available no at Amazon! Hurry; it expires June 20 when the book is released officially. Cheers!

    http://amzn.to/191nWsR

    @strathlubnaig

    Every time you guys post about finding the book somewhere, Drummond gets on the phone and tells them to yank it!

    Stirling W H Smiths has 3 – yes 3!!. Waterstones have sold out, I bought it.  You need to advise WH Smiths that it goes in the cycling section not in religion.  Well maybe……

  4. OMFG – Stevenage WHSmiths had two copies, now one left. In the Soccer autobiographies…sigh…. But the V colours and typeface jump out you so easy to find anyway. Sooooo fucking stoked, read the Intro while waiting for gym induction – never happened, story for another time – and it is LITERALLY awesome. Had to clean bike, now plan on opening a cold one and reading some more. Congrats keepers, yet again, you have excelled, when it seemed there wasn’t another level to go to.

  5. @frank but only avaliable to the UK peeps right? Anyone in the US want to order an extra copy and split the shipping cost? I have a hard time spending the same price on shipping as the book itself.

  6. @ Engine  Sounds to me like your still in the hen house mate, get to painting. Better yet invite the bunch over for a cold one and hand them a paint brush, then go on to explain it builds Dexterity on the bike.  Just sayn

  7. @sthilzy ‘uckin’ell.

    @meursault

    Mate, very happy you enjoyed the first bit. Spoiler alert: your hangover isn’t the only reason it gets worse as you go along.

    Sadly, I’ll have to send Drummond on your book shop as well. He’s very mean.

    On the plus side – I just finally got my hands on my first copy myself (can you assholes believe you got it in your hands before any of us?) On one hand, I feel amazed to be holding a book we wrote, on the other hand, I look at the passages and say to myself, “Yeah, I wrote that drunk on a plane…wrote that hammered in a barn…wrote that upside down while in captivity…” never mind. Anyhow, point is, it is very surreal.

    I’ll treat everyone who isn’t privy to a bookseller who is illegally selling copies of the book to shots of the inside early next week – in the meantime, here is my own copy. The other Keepers should have theirs soon as well. Amazing experience to hold this as complete item.

  8. @Russ

    Sounds like a good idea to me.  If its going to make them “ride like lions” why stop at one room, the stairs need done too and there’s three flights so afterwards they could rightfully wear the King of the Mountains shirt.

  9. @mrs engine

    @Russ

    Sounds like a good idea to me. If its going to make them “ride like lions” why stop at one room, the stairs need done too and there’s three flights so afterwards they could rightfully wear the King of the Mountains shirt.

    That’ll be fine of you dont mind a polka dot effect going up the stairs.

  10. @Mrs Engine

    @frank

    The eSampler is available no at Amazon! Hurry; it expires June 20 when the book is released officially. Cheers!

    http://amzn.to/191nWsR

    @strathlubnaig

    Every time you guys post about finding the book somewhere, Drummond gets on the phone and tells them to yank it!

    Stirling W H Smiths has 3 – yes 3!!. Waterstones have sold out, I bought it. You need to advise WH Smiths that it goes in the cycling section not in religion. Well maybe……

    Wonder if it is too late to cancel my order from a well known on line retailer ? May scoot into Stirling today.

  11. @strathlubnaig

    @mrs engine

    @Russ

    Sounds like a good idea to me. If its going to make them “ride like lions” why stop at one room, the stairs need done too and there’s three flights so afterwards they could rightfully wear the King of the Mountains shirt.

    That’ll be fine of you dont mind a polka dot effect going up the stairs.

    Ahh there is some genius going on here, just do not forget to embed the sign of the prophet somewhere with in those dots.

  12. I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

  13. @Chris @Chris E Dub

    Where is that place?!

    Right, we should organise a drink there. To do the full on V kit idea we’ll have to wait until I receive Velominati shirt – should arrive mid June.

    Cheers,

    David

  14. Aaarrgghh – slow updates, and I didn’t see the newer posts! June 20th is a no go for me – sadly will be in Manchester.

    My suggestion is an evening meet, say June 27, with a set agenda:

    1. A long discussion about the ridiculous proposition of interval training on a boris bike with 28 minute sessions. Plus recovery.

    2. A more reasonable discussion on a proper London Cogal.

    3. Admiration on Frank’s holding of the Velominati hour record.

    Who’s in?

    David

  15. I notice that The Rules have some Scottish input, being typeset in Falkirk, Stirlingshire. Nice one.

  16. For those of us in the United States without access to The Rules, would someone overseas who has the book put up a pirated web stream of someone reading it.  The stream needs to be of shitty quality, contain annoying pop up ads and between chapters there should be video of you pan frying your cycling shoes.  Thanks in advance.

  17. @frank

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    They just HAD to put it right next to a book on COTHO, eh?

    Don’t worry Frank, I quickly remedied the situation and headed directly to the check out.

  18. @VeloVita

    For those of us in the United States without access to The Rules, would someone overseas who has the book put up a pirated web stream of someone reading it. The stream needs to be of shitty quality, contain annoying pop up ads and between chapters there should be video of you pan frying your cycling shoes. Thanks in advance.

    A plus fucking one, mate.

  19. Hello all.

    I was able to preorder the book book just now from Amazon UK site with my US Amazon account info. Total cost was $24 or so with shipping.  No doubt my credit card will add some fees as well.

    FWIW,  the Amazon UK site would NOT let me download the free sample to my Kindle here in the US.

    and the Amazon US site has no reference to either book or kindle version, though if you search

    “Obey the rules” you’ll be offered some amusing alternatives.

    Thanks, RB.

  20. Got mine today in St Andrews, the girl in the shop (Waterstones) said it’s been on the shelf since Monday and mine was their third and last copy, she’s ordering another six, get em while they’re hot!

  21. @frank

    @VeloVita

    For those of us in the United States without access to The Rules, would someone overseas who has the book put up a pirated web stream of someone reading it. The stream needs to be of shitty quality, contain annoying pop up ads and between chapters there should be video of you pan frying your cycling shoes. Thanks in advance.

    A plus fucking one, mate.

    Gawd did those commercials make watching the 2011 Giro painful.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6kGxUqf0vA

  22. @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame.  That was me.  I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together.  If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone.  Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff.  I’ll just go back to my ironing.

  23. @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your vmh?

  24. @Crampangoslo

    Hello all.

    I was able to preorder the book book just now from Amazon UK site with my US Amazon account info. Total cost was $24 or so with shipping. No doubt my credit card will add some fees as well.

    FWIW, the Amazon UK site would NOT let me download the free sample to my Kindle here in the US.

    and the Amazon US site has no reference to either book or kindle version, though if you search

    “Obey the rules” you’ll be offered some amusing alternatives.

    Thanks, RB.

    I just went back to order more copies.  The shipping to the US is 7 pounds for the first copy, each additional one was 3 more, with the pound at about $1.55 today. I bought 4 copies.

  25. @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    I was not entirely sure if this copy of The Rules should not just be burned and buried with reverence after such close contamination, but then I meditated a bit and decided that The Book itself was probably harder than that, and so it now has a new home where it is more appreciated. #offshorereading !!

  26. @Chris

    @Gianni It would be a hoot and should be done but I reckon we’d be struggling with the current cogal guidelines:

    • First, Cogals are free, organized and supported through Velominati, though not necessarily a Keeper (legally speaking, however, we have no involvement, so if you crash or die, it’s your own problem. Anyone is welcome to join a Cogal.
    • Second, a Cogal is a day-long undertaking that focuses 100% on the bike. The rides are categorized (Casually Deliberate, Rule #5, Rule #10, for example) but are long. This is what you’re doing today, nothing else; see Rule #4. Rides can be any length, but a minimum distance of 130km should be expected.
    • Third, Cogals always include a session of Malted Recovery Beverage Consumption after the ride. Whenever possible, it should also include a pre-ride espresso.
    • The dying bit may be problematic if we’re topping up on Belgian rocket fuel every 28 minutes.
    • 130km on a Boris Bike would be pushing it for the fittest pro. Trying to ride one all day and keep to the aforementioned re-hydration schedule would be require way too much Rule #5.
    • And I’m note sure anyone would be in much of a mood for a session of Malted Recovery Beverage Consumption after the ride.

    The massed ranks of the Velominati riding in formation down the Mall would be quite a site though. Maybe to coincide with the launch of the movie.

    Was in London at Olympics time at saw a guy wheelie a Boris bike long the length of Birdcage Walk after midnight one night. I was too slow to get the mobile out to record it. Now, a peloton of Velominati doing something similar would be V impressive. I tried but failed miserably and nearly took the knee out of my good suit when I hit the wall of the Science Museum.

  27. @snoov

    Got mine today in St Andrews, the girl in the shop (Waterstones) said it’s been on the shelf since Monday and mine was their third and last copy, she’s ordering another six, get em while they’re hot!

    Cancel the Cogal! I’m going Book hunting, I’ll be the only one there with an unfulfilled online order and 3 weeks to go To delivery

  28. @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit.  Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

  29. @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON  cycling kit ?

  30. @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Enough of this. No iron, no tumble dryer and most definitely no fabric conditioner near cycling kit. Mind you, on reflection a sharp crease down the skin suit might just be that next marginal gain?

  31. @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Obviously yours isnt  the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self..  Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions.  Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

  32. @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    No, definately no fabric conditioner.  They havent made one that smells of Sex Panther yet.

  33. @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    You make it should like mythril mail but the washing process sounds about right tho.

  34. @Mrs Engine

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    Brilliant! I reckon you couldrewrite

  35.  

    @Mrs Engine

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    Brilliant! I reckon you couldrewrite

    (this itab thingy made the submit button get in the way of typing)

    BrillIant! I reckon you could write a book based on this and your observations of complying with The Rules.

  36. @JohnB

    @snoov

    Got mine today in St Andrews, the girl in the shop (Waterstones) said it’s been on the shelf since Monday and mine was their third and last copy, she’s ordering another six, get em while they’re hot!

    Cancel the Cogal! I’m going Book hunting, I’ll be the only one there with an unfulfilled online order and 3 weeks to go To delivery

    I’ll give Ivor the £3 off a £10 purchase voucher for Smiths and you can get one on Monday and we can split the difference.  Send the other one back to Amazon when it arrives.

  37. @JohnB

    But you see, thats how I envisage the book being read, by Cate Blanchett (Galadriel) or Hugo Weaving (Elrond or Agent Smith).  That would bring it to a whole new dimension.

  38. Pre ordered. But i have to wait til July 9 for it it arrive at my bookstore. The international shipping process needs to meditate on Rule #5.

  39. @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    It is good to see that my household is not the only one with wit that flies around like razorblades!

  40. @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    It is good to see that my household is not the only one with wit that flies around like razorblades!

    This is our life.  I sat there open mouthed in bewilderment thinking someone had been spying on us the first time I saw these. Bloody brilliant.

  41. @Mrs Engine

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    @Mrs Engine

    @Deakus

    @Mrs Engine

    @strathlubnaig

    I was shocked, stunned even, to see how this purveyor of books displayed The Rules !

    I hang my head in shame. That was me. I moved it into the cycling section as it was in with the wrestling books. (ffs). Was hoping in some transcendental way people would put two and two together. If he had read “The Rules” and followed them to the letter he wouldn’t have ended up the douche bag that he is, (mind you that doesnt work for everyone. Once a douche bag always a douch bag, aye engine!!) Sorry for offence caused, sniff sniff. I’ll just go back to my ironing.

    Why are you doing ironing for your VMH?

    Whit???? No way Jose!! Bloomin well do his own cycling kit. Anyway, he needs more starch for his shorts.

    Haud oan….. folk IRON cycling kit ?

    Obviously yours isnt the precious Velominati mega expensive, especially imported, dont touch that, I’ll wash that myself kit that gets the washing machine all to its self.. Pristinely laundered with specially imported sacred soap flakes made by the fairys who live in the Col du Tourmalet, from the tears of the cyclists who just couldnt ride like lions. Then pressed with a very cool iron and talked to in hushed tones of how special and beautiful it is.

    No, definately no fabric conditioner. They havent made one that smells of Sex Panther yet.

    60% of the time, it works every time!!

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