Guest Article: Cyclops VSP

Cyclops pulling the group through the left hander

The Velominati Super Prestige has historically been the work of professional bike races. We focus on the Pro races for a simple reason: we know the races and riders, so Schleculating on where our favorite riders will finish becomes a left-brain/right-brain kind of confused mess that ends with our picks looking more Picasso than they do Rembrandt.

With that, we have our first VSP event for a community member’s race as Cyclops subjects himself to your predictions for where he will finish in Saturday’s race. Assuming you don’t know any of the other racers riding in the Allan Butler Memorial Critierium, we’re focussed on only one rider: Cyclops; enter his name into whichever place in the top five you think he’ll finish. Points are awarded as usual, with 5 for first, 4 for second, 3 for third, 2 for fourth, and 1 for fifth, with a point going to anyone who gets him in the top five but not in the right place.  

As for any other community members who have a race coming up and are willing to add the pressure of meeting the expectations of our community to that you already have of validating your family’s love by meeting their expectations; send us the details about your event and, depending on the timing, we’ll run a VSP for you as well.

Yours in Cycling,


I guess since I’m the most masochistic (actually I think narcissistic is probably closer to the truth) of the Velominati and enjoy putting myself out there for public berating, Frank thought a Super Prestige with a twist might be in order.  This coming July 9th is our local downtown criterium.  The Allan Butler Memorial Criterium was started after a local racer was struck and killed by a taxi while crossing the street in Las Vegas at the Interbike show a few years ago.

The Cyclops VSP will consist of merely trying to guess what place I will finish in the event.  To help you make a semi-informed guess I’ll give you a little background on me and my racing.

  • I’ll be turning 50 years old in early August.
  • I started road racing two seasons ago.
  • I’m a Cat 5.
  • I was really into BMX racing and won the ’96 Idaho State Championship for 31-35 Year Old Cruiser.
  • Southeast Idaho is not a huge hotbed for road racing but since I began racing I have always placed at least equal to or higher than the previous race*
  • I finished 5th in the last race I entered.
  • Last year I finished 13th in my class in the Allan Butler Crit.
  • I have been told by a lot of people that I am riding much stronger than I was last year.
  • I plan on going off the front right at the beginning of the race.

So there you have it.  Good Luck!

*Not counting a DNF at last year’s Boise Twilight Criterium when my rear wheel was hit from behind and had half its spokes ripped out.

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158 Replies to “Guest Article: Cyclops VSP”

  1. @CJ

    Good luck bro.
    There is a lot to be said for a solo race-long breakaway…

    Is that how you won today, CJ? Congratulations on what sounds like a good win in only your second ever bike race. Chapeau, as we say in the trade.


    1. Cyclops

  2. Thanks bro!
    Yeah, drifted off the front after about 300m.
    I’d only actually thought as far as the ‘getting away’ part, turns out the ‘staying away for the rest of the race’ bit is also reasonably challenging, and could, in retrospect, have been more carefully considered.
    Still. Cloud 9 eh.

  3. 1. Rex Kwan Do
    2. Cyclops
    3. 36 Piece Set
    4. Gramma’s Cokyx
    5. Bob Roll

  4. I’m feeling good about Cyclops’ chances today. Looking forward to the post-race interview.

  5. Haven’t heard boo from Cyclops regarding his results; here’s hoping he’s too busy celebrating his first win to update us and that it’s not something more serious.

  6. I’ve heard that his A sample recorded a ‘suspicious’ reading for Tilburg Dutch Brown Ale.

  7. How’d I do?

    I raced in the Master’s C class which is 35+ Cat 5, 45+ 4/5, 55+ open. There just happened to be a 55 year old Cat 1 in our class so he took off never to be seen again. Me and two other guys rode away from the rest of the pack by the end of the second lap. One of the guys didn’t do any work but that’s OK. I was being all pro and shit when I would pull our group down the front straight with my forearms on the tops of the bars at 43 kph. Coming out of the last corner on the last lap I was in the #2 spot of us three and I sprinted around for 2nd place.

    I won $30 cash money, five VSP points, and I get to keep my V-level for podiuming! Not a bad night except for the sandbagger.

  8. @Cyclops
    Well done cycley.

    Let me be the first to lodge a formal protest against cyclops getting points on himself. We all know he sandbagged for the points.

  9. Top stuff Cyclops

    On the basis of my awesome lack of VSP skill, I knew that picking you ifor 3rd would would push you up a spot or two!

  10. Awesome, Cyclops!

    As for the sandbagger, he clearly doesn’t know the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of The Rules: Ride hard (check). Look PRO (check). Don’t be a dick (fail).

    IMHO, cat. 1’s really should show a little class and restrict themselves to racing category races and not age-graded.

    Again, well done Cyclops!

  11. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    IMHO, cat. 1″²s really should show a little class and restrict themselves to racing category races and not age-graded.

    Agreed. But if he can sleep well knowing he beat a bunch of Cat 5’s then what can you do? He was racing in the Master’s A class too (he took 2nd) and I was wishing I had a Campy headed Silca frame pump to throw in his spokes as he went by. It would have been awesome!

  12. Chapeau Cyclops! Thats things you remember

    There always seems to be some mis-categorized rider at every race i have ever done. Thats why I picked Bat-shit-crazy Cat3 but forgot Mastercat1dumbbuttwhopicksonCat5’s…completely slipped my mind

    BTW…every dog has his day, the Cat 1 master stud….well…one day…just remember one day….

  13. Not sure how Mouse got 8 points when the maximum should be 5, but…

    [vsp_results id=”8735″]

  14. Awesome Cyclops! Somehow I knew you’d come in second place. Stupid Cat 1…

  15. @zalamanda
    I have both but after losing a back wheel in lasts year’s Boise Twilight Crit I didn’t want to put my Zipp 303 tubs in harm’s way so I ran the EA90sl’s. Beside we have a an “L” shaped six corner course with lots of off camber corners and I think the 303’s would have been more prone to chattering through the corners.

  16. Turns out Mouse was caught with performance-enhancing picks. The results are updated and (hopefully) correct.

  17. @frank

    A bit slow but it only just occurred to me that on the V-meter, the Allan Butler Memorial Crit is given the same weight as races such as MSR and Paris-Roubaix. So according to the Rules (or, more accurately, the sub-rules as they relate to the VSP Super Prestige), Cyclops, you just podiumed at a Classic!!

  18. No cheating, Mouse!

    Nice work, Cyclops!

    Yeah, I never understand the Cat 1s who show up to a ride or race where they can just blow everyone else out of the water. Why bother?

  19. @frank

    Turns out Mouse was caught with performance-enhancing picks. The results are updated and (hopefully) correct.

    It was special spanish cheese that my brother bought for me.
    I have high naturally occuring pick levels.
    It was due to an ointment to treat my saddle sores.
    I want my B sample tested.

  20. Clops clops clops! Right on, mate!

    Beats my showing at the us fencing summer nations. I suck.

  21. @Cyclops
    well thanx for the nugget of info. I’m still in two minds about buying some. my devil twin keeps egging me on, whereas the angel says no!

  22. Flying the colors!!!


    The Yellow Princesses came up short.

    The interesting thing is that the guy with me in the first image and the guy in the Y.P’s are in the photo at the top of the article that was taken at last year’s A.B. Crit. I wasn’t able to go around the guy in the Y.P’s last year.

  23. @mcsqueak

    I also notice you’re rocking the Canondale. Didn’t want to risk your new ride on a crash-prone race?

    Can you blame him? Awesome job rocking the V kit. How did your team feel about that?

  24. @mcsqueak

    Exactly! I had my Zipps as back up wheels but I didn’t want to put them in harm’s way either. I hadn’t ridden the C-dale in a few months and when I got on it I was like “Wow, this is actually a really nice bike… …but it’s still a Cannondale.”

  25. @RedRanger @Cyclops

    Ha, no I don’t blame him at all. But maybe the LOOK would been so frickin’ awesome he would have zoomed past the Cat 1 for the first place finish. How much ahead did that dork finish over you?

    Here is a photo from a local crit that I watched last year (photo is not mine, no idea who the photographer is, sorry):

    I don’t think I’d risk my new six grand baby either.

  26. @Cyclops
    I dunno. Maybe I’m just sticking up for my own ride, but Cannondale make some pretty fast and functional bikes. In their respective price brackets, some of their line is as fast as you’ll get. You may be long departed from the Velominatus Budgettightass ranks, but when I bought my CAAD9, I tried just about everything in town under $2000. I was never able to justify the extra cash for anything that was priced higher than the CAAD9. It might be a little stiffer than I’d need, but the bike just flies. Sure, it lacks the panache of a sleek Italian frame (or decal), but (even as a Canadian) I like the “Made in the USA” decal.

  27. @Steampunk

    It’s just one of those things. I’ve never been a big Cannondale or Specialized fan and about the only Trek I could see myself on would be a vintage 950 with a C-Record gruppo. It’s not based on anything objective really, just that little voice down deep that tells you that “Brand X” while being able to hold its own just doesn’t have, as you say, “the panache” of other storied brands of a Eurosnob nature. People see my LOOK and ask what I did with the C-Dale? “Oh, it just my crappy rain bike now.” My crappy, worth about $3500, 7.5kg, rain bike that’s nicer than most of the bikes I see on the road. I’m just one of those wannabe arrogant roadies that likes to look down his nose and over his fat belly at “common” bikes.

    Just like I’d rather drive a Mopar than a GM or Ford. Same thing.

    It’s all good though.

  28. @Cyclops
    I hear you. Although I always ranked Cannondale somewhat below Trek, Specialized, and Giant on the “big brands that suck out your soul” chart. I hold a general disdain for the big three. What I like about Cannondale (apart from the objective quality of the bike) is that it’s not one of the big three (and Canadian owned, by the way) and less overtly “arrogant roadie” than some of the carbone bikes around.

    But I’m a function first kind of guy: recently traded in a 22-year-old Volvo for a Saab. Swedes: meatballs, furniture, social welfare, and cars (and I’ve got a bit of a hankering for a Lapierre…).

  29. @Steampunk

    My LBS is going to give me employee purchase privileges for doing a website for them and since Seattle Bike Supply is the U.S. distributor for Lapierre I could probably get you one pretty cheap. :)

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