Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@RedRanger
Did you hear how it was caused? As he was putting a newspaper down his jersey it dropped & got caught in his wheel, he tried to pull it out & caught his hand on the spokes!
@Dr C That’s how I’m picking it will play out! Go Cav!
@Mikael Liddy
fuck me that sounds painful!
@Mikael Liddy
Ow, damn. That’s always what I fear doing when I clean glass from my tires with the palm of my glove while still riding…
@mcsqueak @RedRanger yup, sounds nasty. They breed us Danes tough though.
@Mikael Liddy
Yeah. So while continuing to fight for the stage was Rule #5, the incident itself must go down as one of the dumbest ways to hurt yourself whille bike riding.
You too mcsqueak. When you jam your hand don’t come crying here…
@Harminator
I said we’re tough, I made no mention of intelligence!
@Ron you need to start following Aussie Rules football. A truly majestic sport
@Mikael Liddy
Damn, hand mashed in his wheel. Ouch. I thought he fell, that’s what they originally called on Eurosport.
@Marcus
One of the biggest regrets I have of my two trips to Australia is not getting to any Aussie Rules or rugby matches. I spent a semester in Brisbane, they have the Broncos. Is that Aussie Rules or…am I wrong, another “league”/type?
I did make it to a cricket match in Perth. Wow, interesting game. Mid-day, mid-week. It was me and the nursing home crowd. I watched for three hours, took a nap, left for a feed, came back, watched for a few more hours. Talk about bargain sports and bang for yer buck!
Also did watch around twelve hours of the 2002 Australia Open in person. I think it was around $25 USD for a day pass. That was awesome.
CAVENDOUUUUUUUUUUUCHE !!!
@SimonH
And all is right in the world of sprinting and the tdf!
@Harminator
But it SUCKS when you have to stop riding and get off your bike just to clear some glass. I went on a ride the Saturday after the 4th of July, and it was like all the mouth-breathers TRIED to break as many bottles in the street as possible. I would have had to stop like 7 times if I didn’t clear the bits off while still moving. Seriously frustrating.
Oh man, had to help the VMH and just missed that finish…saw a replay along with interviews. Damn, he came from a long way back, easily bridged that big gap and then easily took the line. Wow!
Yesterday a Movistar rider went wide on a corner with around 10-15 kms to go and had to loop back around. Maybe Valverde? Anyway, had on some shoes that looked like the Aristocrats, Fizik R3s. Black and white. Anyone else see them and/or know what shoes they were? Maybe the Fiziks? Looked sharp.
Secondly, anyone have a link to the Eurosport highlight commercial? Really like it and wanted to show the VMH since she has missed many of the great moments. Has a violin + drum song playing…sounds like Beirut (a band) to me, but not sure. Maybe someone knows?
So cool to see Wiggins turning himself inside out to lead him the last kilometre. A very fast stage.
Would love to see Cav take the win in Paris like that, led out by Wiggo in yellow. Perfect.
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/frank-schleck-doping-positive-confirmed
Glad to see that Frank Schleck is searching for the real dopers.
Good Luck with that.
It is very hard to argue that Sky is not a classy team – or at least a team of classy riders. The Yellow Jersey chasing down breaks so the WC can win sprints in the bands, the WC doing his level best to be domestique for the Yellow Jersey, the Norge Nat Champ out front everyday helping out, a loyal and strong lieutenant capable of winning the race himself. There’s a lot of selfless riding going on there. That’s fucking teamwork, Rage Cage, that’s fucking teamwork.
@marko
absolute word!
@San Tonio
I wonder if frank has ripped the poster from the wall of his shop.
@RedRanger
I heard Frank is going down to the Seattle courthouse to file paperwork to change his name to Andy today…
From the BBC website
So will there be resentment in France, if Sunday’s podium is topped by an Englishman? Not for a minute, says Yves Blanc.
“Let’s face it, you came with some great riders, and you may end with not one on the podium, but two if Chris Froome comes second.
“On top of that, if Cavendish wins the last stage, it’ll be a record fourth in a row on the Champs-Elysees for him, and he’ll be on a podium too.
“We’re impressed. These guys aren’t cheats. No-one’s going to say they stole the race. What else is there to do but applaud?”
Damn those French folk are classy.
Anyone know why Sanchez waved his arm? Was it exasperation at where Cav came from, sort of a “How the…”, or was he mad about something? I didn’t catch it. Probably the former, as he and Roche looked like they were going about 7kph when Cav went around them.
@San Tonio
Maybe he can help OJ find the real murderer while he is at it.
I didn’t see the big rubber band those Sky riders were holding to slingshot Cav round the back of Sanchez. Nice trick that. Will have to watch the replay more closely.
@mcsqueak
Andy or Candy? Rumor mill in Seattle has both in the works, they say he’s waiting until after his performance at the Zoo this weekend, and see how his A specimen comes up
I would hope he would aspire to the name Jens or something of the anti-type of the schllcks, but all is fair right?
I know, I’ll be banned for my untoward commentary, but after my VSP picks it doesn’t matter; i’m circling the toilet anyway
@Buck Rogers
Yeah really, sometimes I think that the bullshit excuses are worse than the doping.
@Souleur
What’s crazy is that Jens has several times repeated that he worships the Schlecks. Maybe in a “I’m So Different” kind of way.
@marko
It may be a ‘boring’ tour in terms of fireworks, but compared to recent years (Astana) it has been nice to watch a team where men bury themselves in pursuit of a common goal, and those reaping the rewards give back so wholeheartedly. I really have warmed up to Wiggins. Will be interesting to see if he is leading the train on Sunday. The day will come when he has to rise to the occasion on his own, and I hope he shows something special that day, but it is clear that he has risen to the occasion time and time again in training, and proven to his team that he is a man worth working for.
@earnest!
Saw that, looked like exasperation to me, also saw Wiggo punch the air for his team mate too, superb stuff.
@San Tonio
Yes, super annoying. I mean, none of us can REALLY know what for sure went on – only Frank and his team will really ever know what the real truth of the matter is.
And I absolutely get the human desire to save face, but to be “I was poisoned!” is a little wild.
It’s just really annoying to read all month long in the NYT about doping, Lance Armstrong, Hincape, all that crap and think “why do they keep dragging up this shit” only to then have one of the big name riders go and fuck it up again for everyone. Disappointing to say the least. Oh well, that’s how it goes I suppose…
@frank
here’s a serious question: your right of course that Jens has admiration for these boys, so, given all things equal my question is perhaps circular in nature but worthy our consideration. Given the time they spend together, ride, share and know one another, how is it they say these things knowing…what they know?? Do you think he would say the same thing now? Or was it simply cordial? Or in a “different” kind of way he notes the way they ride??? Is it a pecking order type of thing that he bows in respect? Just talking out loud of course, but we see this in a perennial fashion and it exists time after time, so how does this happen??
@Souleur
Actually, I think it has more to do with them being close enough together to realize that what looks like a bunch of pussies from our position in the front row of the peanut gallery are actually really talented, really tough bastards. You don’t get second or third in the Tour by being a pussy.
We tease them in good fun and in contrast to some other riders they certainly aren’t as tough, but since we’ve all ridden bikes we all know how much it hurts to ride even as shitty as we do.
@Ron I think it was Rui Costa that missed the right hand turn (still heading downhill, but not long before the climb up Peyersoude).
don’t take your dog to a bike race.
lucky everyone got to walk away from this
@motor city
So it was the dog? What is up with the yellow on BMC’s helmets, I thought RNT was leading the team classification?
@DerHoggz
I think Fast Phil kept that from last year. Twas part of his Belgium Champ kit – He is still class
He was a bit angry here
@meursault
I think it was a bit like that moment where the Mayor of Hiroshima looked over his shoulder and said “Wah tha fack waz that??” – maybe he didn’t realise how slowly he was going as he rolled home for the victory – I think Cav wasn’t even in his rear view mirror as LLS thought he had nailed the finish, then BOOOMMMM!!!!!!
Love Cav, love the Skyboys – in fact, I just can’t get enough of all this shit!!
@motor city
First off, who the fuck brings a huge ass dog to a bike race, and then LETS it off it’s leash. Stupid fucks should be thrown in jail and the dog given to someone with a fuckin brain.
@Dr C
Real funny, racist jokes about mass death, I just can’t get enough of all this shit!!
@ramenvelo
Is it too soon?
I think it was a bit like that moment where the Mayor of Hiroshima looked over his shoulder and said “Wah tha fack waz that??”
This isn’t even about being PC, this is straight up offensive.
@ramenvelo
Okay, not intended to be offensive – audience laughed when a stand up said it, but I take your point – apologies – any of you keepers care to remove that post of mine?
@Dr C Removed. We all make regrettable posts sometimes.
@Buck Rogers
They both look like college educated people who only know about their profession and are totally dumb as shit when it comes to anything else in life.
Proof: my dentist can’t parallel park her BMW
@motor city – Was there any video of that crash?
@Xyverz
Only the aftermath.
http://www.cyclingfans.com/node/5960