Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2012
This is an exciting time of year. The Giro is in the books, the Tour is firmly in everyone’s sights, and those of us with the vaguest idea of how the big race will unfold are prognosticating the loudest as we use races that are proven to reveal fuck-all about what will happen at the Tour to predict what will happen at the Tour.
With the Dauphiné underway we look to the start of the Tour de Suisse to peer deeper into the murk to see who is riding well. As far as I’m concerned, I might as well lay out all the rider’s names in a random pattern and blow snot-rockets at the floor to make my picks this year because I honestly haven’t the foggiest idea who will take it; the biggest race of the year is spinning up to be the biggest enigma of the year.
All this babbling serves to demonstrate another important point, and the reason why the Dauphiné wasn’t in the VSP: these stage races are little more than preparation races for the big names, and a chance for the smaller one’s to take center stage. So why did the Tour de Suisse get a VSP while the Dauphiné didn’t? For starters, the latter feels less like a dress rehearsal for the Tour, but mostly its because there is a mountain pass that has cobbles all the way up it in Switzerland (though I’m not sure if they’re riding it this year). How cool is that? I can get on board with any country who values labor costs little enough to pave an entire mountain road one cobble at a time. Yes, we’re that scientific here in the Velominati Boardroom.
When this race is over, we’ll have even less of a clue as to who will win in July (well, everyone except @Marcus, who needs neither evidence nor results in order to be sure Cuddles will win) and we’ll be able to distract ourselves with the various National Championships which will take place in the week leading up the Tour’s start and guessing wether Bruyneel has the nerve to cut either or both Schlecks from his Tour team.
So, dust off your monkey’s bones and 12-sided die, time to make your predictions for the 2012 Tour de Suisse. Check the Tour de Suisse site for the latest route and roster info and remember that since this is a stage race, (not a Grand Tour), points on offer are 10 for first place, 8 for second, 7 for third, 5 for fourth, and 3 for fifth – all based on the final General Classification; plus two bonus points per rider in the top five regardless of the rider’s placing. Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and pray for an intervention. Make sure you check the mappings of your picks before the race ends so you get the points you deserve, and use the dispute mechanism to alert us of any issues. Note that the dispute mechanism is the official means by which to raise concerns about your picks; questions about your mappings or disputes raised in the posts will be largely ignored.
Good luck.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cunego
2. Sagan
3. Gesink
4. Leipheimer
5. Kreuzinger
@Belgian Cobblestones
Nice one Jac!
@brett
@minion
Fucking glad I have never seen nor heard of that interviewer again. Who the hell is/was she? An embarrassment to Germany, I mean, Australia. She calls him “Henrick” the whole time, not “Heinrick”.
She may well have been like that chick Kate Fitzpatrick, who David Hill (head of Channel 9) appointed to become the first and only very disastrous female cricket commentator.
“It’s Packer here,” his boss announced in a husky growl. “I don’t have any comment on your latest exploit – just one question. Was she a good f—?”
An astounded Hill replied: “Mr Packer, I really wouldn’t know.”
“In that case, son,” Packer snapped, “you’ve missed out both ways.”
@Mikael Liddy
+1
And what a badass photo that is… the shades, the caps, hairnets, perfect sock and short length, steel bikes, the bends of the bars. Glory days.
@Marcus
She actually says Heinrich the first time, then goes downhill from there… “What are you from, what do you call your nationality?”
@Marcus
We could ask Pippo but after 4 years he probably wouldn’t remember.
Tough tough tough…
Let’s go with Cunego for the win!
VSP PICKS:
1. Cunego
2. Danielson
3. Sagen
4. Leipheimer
5. Gesink
@brett
Well, if you’re going to get technical, I guess you have a point.
It just almost seems that there should be some kind of negative stimulus when picking a schleck, even if it is in jest. If nothing else, think of poor keeper frank toiling away at code tirelessly to be linked to a schleck. Seems like there should be a euphemism for it even.
Just sayin…
First post, but here we go, even Contador had to start somewhere. Decided to go with the normal approach to this type of thing and clean up by picking a rank outsider. (99 times out of a hundred I lose)
VSP PICKS:
1. Cam Meyer
2. Frank Schleck
3. Cancellara
4. Levi
5. Cunego
Mmmmm, probably best to pick from an actual start list. 3 of 5 changed.
VSP PICKS:
1. Kreuziger
2. Gesink
3. F Schleck
4. Cunego
5. Nordhaug
@brett
But he rides for an Australian team, and has more chnace of winning than any of the Aussies on the roster. Well, at least he did until they made him a reserve. Next time I’ll use the “quote bunnies” to indicate sarcasm for the slow people.
@Denti At least I used the start list
Anyone know where that cobbled col is? Just so I can avoid it at all cost.
Cobbles yes, mountains yes, just not at the same time especially if you’re supposed to do it at full gas in the big ring.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cunego
2. Anton
3. Sagan
4. Freire
5. Schleck, F
VSP PICKS:
1. Kreuziger
2. Albasini
3. Fuglsang
4. Igor Anton
5. Gesink
Honorable Mentions:
Costa (probably ends up team leader based on resent form.
Peter Velits
Chris Horner
VSP PICKS:
1. Cunego
2. Gesink
3. Danielson
4. Leipheimer
5. Valverde
VSP PICKS:
1. Anton
2. Cunego
3. Valverde
4. Danielson
5. Nieve
@Chris
I posted something about it in the rides last week, Swiss Italian border, about 12 cobbled km’s at 7ish percent from memory.
VSP PICKS:
1. Can he go?
2. Bobby Guessing
3. Bird Song
4. Tommy D
5. Non Gadret
Well fuck me running. Who knows about this field? The only things almost for certain are that Team Type 1 and Spidertech won’t factor in the top five. Of course I could eat me own words there too. So here goes nothin’
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Kreuziger
3. Cunego
4. Albasini
5. The Cosmos
@Mikael Liddy
Cheers, that looks awesome. Could be a bit sketchy in the wet.
@King Clydesdale
Yes: Velits was prominent among the riders I had to leave out of my top five; very reluctant to let him go.
VSP PICKS:
1. Frank Schleck
2. Levi Leipheimer
3. Igor Anton
4. Martin Elmiger
5. Chris Horner
@Chris
Yeah I’d rather not think about that, still waking up in the middle of crashes when descending (note to subconscious, that’s not cool).
The best part about it that according to what I read, there is there’s a tunnel & another road that get under/around the mountain quicker, so that one is basically traffic free.
@Mikael Liddy
You might be better off if you didn’t go to sleep whilst descending.
Hmm, a lot of folks picking Roman K. Is he even lining up? I don’t see him at the moment.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cunego
2. Gesink
3. Valverde
4. Hoogerland
5. Igor Anton
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarponi
2. Gesink
3. Horner
4. Hushovd
5. Valverde
@brett
As to he last question about who was the rider who attracted the most women, HH should have asked which one she would fuck. That would have put her gas at a peep.
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Cunego
3. Anton
4. Sagan
5. Cancellara
@Ron
He was on the sheet that was linked to this piece yesterday – please don’t fuck with my head this early in the proceedings.
Alright, the interviewer ain’t so good but…how about HH’s hair & shades? Those are worth mentioning as well!
Here’s the official startlist from the event website dated the 6th: http://www.tourdesuisse.ch/fileadmin/user_upload/2012/Teams/Fahrerliste__Teams_2012_Stand_06062012.pdf
Roman is listed as starting.
VSP PICKS:
1. Michael Albasini
2. Igor Anton
3. Cunego
4. Rui Costa
5. Grimpy the Elder
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Sagan
3. Leipheimer
4. Valverde
5. Cancellara
Really not feeling the mojo on this one, the no man’s land between the Giro and Le Tour leaves me very uncertain as to who’s going to make a show of it. Hopefully Gesink’s form on ATOC will carry him through…
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Cunego
3. Valverde
4. Kreuziger
5. Scarponi
Levi in as I’m not seeing Scarponi on the start list.
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Cunego
3. Valverde
4. Kreuziger
5. Leipheimer
VSP PICKS:
1. Cunego
2. Scarface
3. Spartacus
4. Sagan
5. Gesink
@Fausto
Yup. It’s a conundrum. Will Gesink be holding back? I think Kreuziger will be pretty motivated after shitting the bed in the Giro. We shall see.
VSP PICKS:
1. Kreuziger
2. Gesink
3. Valverde
4. Hoogerland
5. Cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. CUNEGO Damiano
2. GADRET John
3. HOOGERLAND Johnny
4. IZAGUIRRE Gorka
5. GESINK Robert
Have you guys seen the stage profiles? This race is brutal.
VSP PICKS:
1. LEIPHEIMER Levi
2. GESINK Robert
3. HORNER Christopher
4. DANIELSON Thomas
5. VALVERDE BELMONTE Alejandro
I swapped Schleck for Kreuziger and pushed Cunego to fifth. I hope this works out, as I intend to use my winnings to invest in valve stem caps. I plan to corner the market and become rich beyond my wildest dreams.
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Sagan
3. Kreuziger
4. Levi
5. Cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Kreuziger
3. Scarponi
4. Valverde
5. Danielson
@Ron
Yeah, always thought HH looked a little like a drag queen…
@frank
You spell Boekmans, I spell Beekmans. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, etc.
If I knew what I was doing I presumably would have had some logic behind my picks.
Shot in the dark. I’m going with outsiders to surprise ’cause then it is more fun if they win (not that I would know.)
And I know Valverde isn’t an outsider, but come on. And Leipheimer broke his leg for goodness sakes.
He needs his leg to ride.
VSP PICKS:
1. Jacob Fuglsang
2. Daniel Oss
3. Tom Danielson
4. Valverde
5. Levi Leipheimer
@Ron
Yeah, he is.
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/kreuziger-gets-a-second-chance-in-tour-de-suisse
Meanwhile, back at the Dauphine…check out the ITT performance of Wilco Kelderman. He can climb and he can go against the clock. Probably best that he gets out of Rabobank ASAP before they f@ck him up like they have to their other GT “stars”.
Wilco up, Andy….down. Jeez.
http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/12056/Criterium-du-Dauphine-Schleck-crashes-punctures-loses-over-ten-minutes.aspx
brett – Ha, I never thought of him as a drag queen, but now that you mention it…
BDenti – thanks for clearing that up. I didn’t see him on the list I checked out.
I’m not a big Andy fan, but give the skinny one credit today – he rode most of the TT with his ass hanging out what was left of his shorts: http://www.sporza.be/cm/sporza/videozone/MG_sportnieuws/MG_wielrennen/1.1324316
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Cunego
3. Anton
4. Sagan
5. Leipheimer
@wiscot
Its like the old story goes:
Old Bull and a Young bull are standing on top of a hill. The young bull says, “hey! Lets run down there and fuck one of them cows!” The old bull rolls his eyes and says, “I got a better idea: Let’s walk down there and fuck them all.”
VSP PICKS:
1. Leipheimer
2. Gesink
3. Kreuziger
4. Valverde
5. Gadret