Book Reviews: Racing Through the Dark, The Secret Race
I must admit to not having read most of the cycling memoirs in the Works. I may eventually but the local public library doesn’t carry any of them and never will so I’ll have to buy them or ask Frank to tote everything he has to Hawaii. I did get off my wallet and buy these two and it was money well spent. David Millar and Tyler Hamilton have produced two excellent cycling books, parallel stories in very general terms and times. The contrast of how two people in similar straits handle the truth and the divergent roads it puts them on is compelling.
Doping in professional cycling is still secretive enough that it is best told from someone all the way on the inside. Journalists will be lied to by cyclists. Federal grand juries do better at getting the truth but we usually don’t hear it. Cyclists who lived the lie and need to unburden themselves make a good conduit. I can’t begin to explain it as well as Tyler or David did; their inner world of professional cycling is nothing we hear much about. In the 1990s it was the wild west where the law was absent. Spanish “doctors”, syringes and mini-centrifuges ruled the day. It’s such a huge subject, too interwoven with passion and pressure, so much grey area. For a person like me who likes to talk about doping in black and white, I’ve learned how institutionalized and insidious it was (past tense, I hope). It’s not so simple. It’s tragic. To feed the young ambitious athlete into a system where there is no choice but to accept the drug system is criminal. When money is at stake and the UCI is complicit, as is team management, those are some criminals.
Racing Through the Dark-by David Millar. I’ll also admit to being a long time admirer of David Millar. He has always been well- spoken and not afraid to confront, two qualities I admire and personally lack, but they make a good writer. Millar is a military brat who found his cycling talent in the 10 mile British time trial club races. He ended up living his dream, riding on the Cofidis team, France’s well- funded but dysfunctional squad. He spent his first few years with Cofidis riding clean, yet watching how others “prepared”.
“In my youthful exuberance, I was telling anybody who would listen that I’d won in De Panne and broken the course record with a hematocrit of only 40 percent. I went to see Casagrande and his roommate, whom I refer to as L’Équipier (the teammate), so that I could show Casagrande the test results.
I stood there, a big grin on my face, expecting Casagrande to congratulate me and say something morale boosting. But he didn’t. After a pause, he handed the results back to me and then turned to speak to his roommate in Italian.
“Perché non é a cinquate?” Casagrande asked L’Équipier, puzzled, Why isn’t he at fifty?
No one talked about doping and no one talked about not doping. Eventually, after VDB self-destructed and Casagrande was busted, Millar became a team leader. And with that mantle came the responsibility to produce results, be a professional. And eventually he was implicated by a teammate, evidence was found, he was out of cycling, deeply in debt, and drinking his way to the bottom.
For some interesting video here is a recent Spanish documentary from the inner ring.
The Secret Race-by Tyler Hamilton and Daniel Coyle. Tyler Hamilton and I grew up in the same end of Massachusetts, he went to the same prep school @rob and I dropped out of, so I always felt slightly connected to him. So I was a fan boy and stood by his fantastic excuses for too long.
The whole wretched story of doping in cycling is right here. Tyler Hamilton cheated and lied for so long, it took until 2011 before he could tell his parents the truth. And despite his decade of lying, this book rings true. His reward was getting out from under the lie. I think he would have written the book for free just for the unburdening. He states many times the lightness of being after testimony and though he knows it’s very unlikely, hopes Lance can feel the same lightness that comes from telling the truth. This book is Tyler Hamilton’s story but it is closely linked to part of the Armstrong saga.
Like Millar, Hamilton was unaware of systemic drug use until he had joined the professional ranks. US Postal drugs were at first team- provided and paid for. Once you proved yourself as one of the best riders on the team, as someone who could help Lance win the Tour, you earned the right to use EPO. It is fascinating reading, it’s horrifying, it’s depressing. Most unsettling is Lance Armstrong’s behavior. There are many revelations regarding Armstrong’s psychotic need to win. I’ll share just this one.
Tyler was eased out of US Postal because he was too strong a rider and perceived as a threat to Armstrong. So Tyler left and signed with Phonak in 2004. There was a time trial up Mont Ventoux in the 2004 Dauphiné Libéré weeks before the Tour de France. Tyler beat Lance in the TT. Later during the Tour, Floyd Landis, who was still riding for US Postal rode along side Tyler.
“You need to know something”
I pulled in closer. Floyd’s Mennonite conscience was bothering him.
“Lance called the UCI on you,” he said. “He called Hien, after Ventoux. Said you guys and Mayo were on some new shit, told Hien to get on you. He knew they’d call call you in. He’s been talking shit nonstop. And I think it’s right that you know.”
This little story is amazing for many different reasons and the only good one is Floyd Landis telling it to Tyler. I’m guilty of saying some negative things about Floyd, mostly because he was such an idiot liar. But at a point, when he has nothing to gain and he has lost everything else and he starts telling the truth, he gains back my respect, just like Tyler Hamilton has.
I ended up reading these books one right after the other. As I said before, I recommend them both. David Millar is a better writer. He actually has more demons to battle than Hamilton so his story of redemption is inspiring. Tyler Hamilton’s story is more depraved (in a doping sense) but both books are important. A lot of people in cycling are now admitting to past deeds in very unspecific terms. These two authors are both shining lights into some dark corners and making the inevitability of drug use in cycling more human and understandable. Also, in reading these books back to back, it highlights the contrast in how these two people dealt with their fates.
Both had the bad luck to be nearly singled out as dopers when a large percent of the riders were dopers. Millar realized it was the doping that killed his passion for even riding a bike. He took no joy in his EPO-assisted victories, only a temporary satisfaction that the task at hand was completed. He decided to come clean and to become an advocate for clean racing and changing the corrupt system.
Hamilton could not admit to anyone but his wife (who already knew) that he had been a cheat. His lie was so crushing he couldn’t even see a way out. He then spent all his money and energy protecting the lie for years, for nothing, obviously. It was the threat of perjury in that finally broke open the dam. It’s a cruel lesson to learn; the truth will set you free, even if it takes forever.
Gianni – nice reviews! As soon as I get some free time, and am able to also get off my wallet, I’ll pick these up. Not sure about the public library but I have access to the local uni library and they have a pretty darn good selection of cycling books. I’ve spent more than one day getting zero work accomplished but learning a heck of a lot about the history of cycling.
And woah, you grew up in Massachusetts. I did not know this!
Have a great weekend everyone! Looking forward to some cycling and some Lombardia!
Thanks for the review(s) and insight. Hopefully I’ll end up with both of these reads sooner than later.
Wow! Super reviews. Both have been on my “to buy” list, looks like I know what to ask Santa for.
Thanks, Gianni. A timely reminder to drop some pre-birthday hifamille the family. I admire Millar. Cannot quite work out what I think of Hamilton just yet. Obviously need to read the book.
@G’phant gah! Pre-birthday hints to the family.
@G’phant
Yeah, Tyler and Floyd went through the same Postal meat grinder and couldn’t find their way home afterward. Once they left Postal they didn’t have access to the best doctors either. That’s how you end up with someone else’s blood transfused. The book is a real eye opener, it makes me feel like we have been too easy on CTHO here. And it will help make your mind up on a few people, like Tyler and Frankie Andreau.
Thanks for the post, Gianni. I love book reviews. Both of these books interest me. I’m pretty conflicted on doping in many ways. I understand it, but that feels too close too condoning it. Conversely, coming down hard on it, ignores the human stories and the the flaws that make us real. It is very much as you worder perfectly, ” a huge subject, too interwoven with passion and pressure, so much grey area”. Definitely looking forward to picking these up (especially Millar’s). Cheers, Gianni!
@graham d.m.
They are both great for different reasons. But if we all knew what was going on when we all watched Lance and co back in the early 2000s we would have turned off the TV and never listened to Ligget again. That will be interesting, when he or Sherwin reads Tyler’s book! It’s some compelling reading. Cheers back at ya.
@Gianni nice one. Coincidentally I read both this week too. They should sell them in a bundle on Amazon. Made me understand the doping mentality a bit better too.
Whilst it was no surprise that Tyler gave a pretty damning view of Armstrong, Millar reinforced the view that he is a true COTHO. I have moved from a position of wanting it all to be brushed under the carpet to wanting to see it all come out and Lance cop his fair whack.
Was surprised Hamilton didn’t talk more about Tugs. The amount of press that dog got when it was alive…
Great summary, Gianni… On two great books. was loved Millar’s, not because of his writing style, which is great, nor about his battle with doping and path to redemption, which is raw, tragic and uplifting… But becauwrist three points in the book he writes about great races he’s been part of… Vivid, inspiring stuff that get across the suffering, thpaw pro rate, the strategy and the aggression the per professional peloton… Yet he picked these stages as ones where he didn’t win, but didnt win (in one case, near elimination) with panache… And he realised that the manner in which you lose as important as the way in which you win (despite what @Chris – or @ChrisO? – thinks about super seconds).
The Hamilton book stunned me… The organised, systematised, pervasive systemic doping… From team to team, year after year… The ease with which they played the system. I now look at all endurance sports differently: tennis? Middle and long distance running? Swimming? Cross-country skiing? This isn’t a cycling problem, it is a professional sports problem. Tyler’s candour, the simplicity with which he tells it to Coyle, rings true… As does the unburdening of telling it. I wanna hear what Sheryl Crow said, what Big George and Christian VdV said, and I wanna know who called the dogs off from the Federal inquiry… Because the pro peloton is rotten to the core. Glow time, Edgar, red eggs, BBs, echos… He didn’t make this shit up… And Contador, attacking from a long way out, in the mountains, after a rest day in the Vuelta? Hmmmm. Mo Farrar and his training partner, after training alone in isolation in Oregon with a Svengali-like coach, the two of them wiping the floor in the Olympic final in the last 400m with no fade? I dunno. And Team Sky? Can we?… Really?… Believe?
God, I love cycling though… I hope this serves as a wake up call to the powers that be to get their shit together… Stop going after Kimmage and Floyd, irritating as they both are, and do something productive
@Gianni… If this is how you write when you’ve read stuff… Go read more
@Marcus They should bundle them! Brilliant they are complementary in weird ways. Yeah, I agree about the need to seeing it all out in the open.
Years ago I watched some little video where the videographer went into Lance’s room at some mountain training camp. Lance is showing them around, blender here, assos creme there, no worries. Then Johan B comes, freaking out, “you can’t be here, out, out, jesus christ”. It was a strange thing to reconcile back then but it makes sense more sense now. Fuckers.
@Roadslave525
I agree with you on all counts. And yes, I did like DM’s book for many more reasons beside his ability to write, I admire him as a person. As you said, he does talk racing well. Especially the race he barely made the time limit in the Tour, magic passages there.
And yes, the Hamilton book stunned me too, and I thought I was pretty un-stunnable on cycling subjects. Big George could write a memoir but won’t. Shit, I was getting nervous writing the article, fucking Lance obviously has influence beyond all understanding if the Federal investigation got squashed.
Thankfully he can’t fuck up the sport for us. We can always chuck a leg over our faithful Ti steeds and ride our brains out. And cheers for the kind words.
Alright Gianni, the publishers should be giving you a kickback. I just ordered both books.
@Buck Rogers Amazon’s Velominati package. You won’t be disappointed with either read.
Also, the Fuck My Tits West Point Cogal is up. I must tweet that bastard right now.
@Gianni
oh man! You went with my title? You guys are AWESOME!
@Buck Rogers
send me your address so I can demo you up that Antares.
@Gianni Great reviews, also read both these books recently and was gripped by both. What really struck me was that both riders started racing for the love of it, like many of us, they were just better at it than we are. But after a while , Tyler’s 1000 days, a switch flips and they became “professional”, putting aside the love and passion to get results and further their career. I guess I always had this romantic idea that sports stars do it for the love and while that might initially be so at a certain point it becomes a job. Really made me think though what would I do to further my career…., and came to the conclusion that I’m not that ambitious that I would risk everything to become successful In business. Maybe this is what sets stars aside from the rest, the willingness to do anything to be the best at their job. This character trait makes them excel in their sport, but possibly is the same trait that makes so many stars susceptible to doping in order to win. luckily I can make a good living for my family without feeling an immense pressure to do something that goes against my morals to succeed and am also lucky that I can ride a bike for the love of it without it becoming a job.
I’d be lost without a good hit of Modafinil just before a hard ride
@Gianni oh and as a fellow outpostee with a none existent local library, kindle is a way to go. When I lived in Borneo it was the only way I could get anything cycling related…..
@Adrian I’m happy I’ve never had to make that decision too. There are cheaters in basic science research (my old field) too and baby, when they get caught, it’s actually worse than the two year ban. Talk about doomed. Luckily there is so little money to be made there is no incentive to cheat.
Borneo! You were out in the field. Holey smokes, at least there is a library here. It may be filled with Clive Cussler paper backs but there is a building with books in it. Kindle, yea, that makes a lot of sense.
@Buck Rogers
Well, not really, I used the pg-13 version. The title font is so big, I don’t want to be the guy who finally drags this site into the basement. I’ll let Frank do that. Still, it makes me smile to know you have ridden with William too.
@Gianni and @Roadslave525 – well said, both of you.
I haven’t read either yet, which I admit makes any opinion I may have uniformed. Keen on Tyler’s because he has shaken off the omerta gag and is happy to name names. It would have been even more compelling if he had done it for free in an interview.
However I just can’t bring myself to read Millar’s book. As someone who still makes a very healthy living from cycling, he seems happy to use innuendo and aliases. But I gather that he stops short of actual detail that could assist investigations (please someone tell me if I’m wrong here). In my mind, that makes his book a selfish attempt to clear his conscience and make some cash, rather than a specific contribution to fight doping. Sort of like assiting “doping awareness”, I guess.
Just one man’s opinion…
@Bianchi Denti
I hear you on Millar – l’Equipier is Massmiliano Lelli
As I was reading your story G, I kept thinking “The truth will set you free, the truth will set you free.” and then I got to your last sentence.
Anyway, if you ask me, and my opinion it probably worth about as much as Confederate C-Note, McQuaid and Heiny Van Turdburglar – or whatever his name is – are the criminals. They are the ones ruining the sport. A bunch of greedy bastards that have found their cash cow and are going to milk it for all it’s worth. They’re the ones that need a lifetime ban.
Oh, by the way, the whole “being pro” thing, the demand to perform, made me think of the conversation I had with my training partner last night.
Me: I got to quit racing so conservatively. I mean, I’m just an overweight master, it’s not like there is money on the line and I’m making a living at this. I need to just start attacking all the time and messing with people. Who cares if I blow up and go off the back?
Him: There is a lot of truth to that.
@Bianchi Denti “(please someone tell me if I’m wrong here)”
OK, you are wrong here. I think you are at least. Lelli was the only alias he used. And I think there is a lot of value in admitting one’s own doping in detail without naming other riders. I don’t know what he told the French police when interrogated. A Cofidis soigneur was caught with meds and half the team was investigated by the French police. It was their own little slow motion Festina affair.
He went on the join the Garmin Slipstream team with JV and stayed with them when Sky arrived and wanted him. And I think he is a rider’s representative on some anti-doping committee.
Trust me, it’s worth reading. I think it will change your mind about him. And if it doesn’t I’d like to know.
@Cyclops
You are correct sir. They do deserve some quality jail time. Cleaning house there would be a start and a miracle.
I worried at first about Millar’s motivations, but now I think he’s completely genuine. Even if at first he wasn’t entirely honest about things (I’m not saying he wasn’t, just if…) I think he’s actually realised he likes himself a lot more after facing up to things than he did before. Watching that doco on Inner Ring I thought on the whole that he came across very honestly. I like the cut of his jib.
@Gianni
Great stuff mate. I haven’t read either of these yet, and hopefully there will be more to come. I have however read ‘From Lance to Landis’ by David Walsh, and that book as a precursor to these contained a lot of damning accounts from former Gunderson teammates at junior level, of coaches like Carmichael and Eddy B… the name Greg Strock is one that doesn’t get mentioned a lot in these times and events, but that young fella was subjected too and saw a lot of things that junior riders shouldn’t. Well worth a read too.
@Gianni
I trust you, so I’ll give it a read.
The Millar book is well worth the read, not a big fan of him these days to be honest, but I did enjoy the book.
And as to this Cyclops: “Me: I got to quit racing so conservatively. I mean, I’m just an overweight master, it’s not like there is money on the line and I’m making a living at this. I need to just start attacking all the time and messing with people. Who cares if I blow up and go off the back?”
I too have the same problem, race too conservative, not sure why I do not just go nuts and attack, sadly there is always some canny bastard who sits on and wins no matter how much I try and make it hard for them, usually just end up hurting myself…….
@brett
The more I read of Hamilton’s book the more I realized you were so right about CTHO extreme dickishness. Read it with caution, it will be bad for your anger management.
@Gianni
I kind of got the feeling while reading the book that LA is actually a very insecure man, hiding behind a bravado of brashness who determines his own self worth by whether he wins or not. Yes he did some prettying COTHO things but I think fueled by his own lack of self worth.I’m not a psychologist (clearly) but actually felt a little sad for him by the end of the book.
Great review…straight on to the Amazon Wish List. BTW anyone read sex lies and handlebar tape? About Jacues Anquetil…just came across that and for someone who left his wife for a friends and then had kids with her daughter I am thinking this may be a book I could take to! I see it is not in The Works so wondered if it is any good…?
@Deakus It’s fascinating and well worth a read.
@Adrian I agree completely in regard to Armstrong. My small town library has three cycling books: Carmichael’s Time Crunched Cyclist, Landis’ book defending his innocence (ha!), and Lance Armstrong’s War that like The Secret Race is by Coyle. I came away with the same feeling reading that book as you did reading Hamilton’s: Armstrong is filled with fear and self-loathing and is seeking validation, it’s all an act of overcompensation (I’m not a psychologist either, though!)
Great work Gianni, or should i say ‘pull’ since we are in the electronic peloton here among Velomanti
Another one to add to my ‘to read’ list, thanks
@Bianchi Denti
I liked Millar a lot more before I read his book. It was disappointing. He’s not especially articulate, he engages in a lot of self-righteous complaints, and while he tries to make himself more human by inspecting his own faults it doesn’t feel especially genuine. His passion comes across as whinging to me. To be honest, the lone pro rider whose book actually raised my esteem of the rider remains Michael Barry’s Le Métier. It’s really in a class of its own. Millar’s book reads too much like a blow-by-blow account of a very good cyclist who fell into a dark place; it would have been a much better book if he had concentrated on more introspection. I finished the book, but by the halfway point I just didn’t care anymore…
Relatedly””and not to take this conversation down a dark path””but Inner Ring posted this story on the relationship between success at the Junior TT World Championships and their prospects at the pro level. Here’s a list of recent Junior World TT champions:
Which says a thing or two about how this might serve as a plausible gauge. One of the real outliers is the 2000 champion, from whom we have heard very little. His father coaches cyclists here in town, and would likely suggest that “preparation” is the common denominator between success in the pro ranks and his son’s anonymity…
@Gianni
Bit of a correction to this statement: even though Millar & Brailsford were especially close, Millar’s doping conviction made him persona non grata at SKY. They couldn’t hire him as it was against their team policy.
@Steampunk
which has turned out to be afairly flexible policy when it comes to hiring team doctors…
@Marcus
Absolutely correct. I just wanted to clarify @Gianni‘s point, because Millar does mention that he couldn’t have signed at SKY (even though he does seem to be very happy at Garmin and believes in what they’re doing).
I haven’t read Millars, but I’m almost done mouth-reading my way through T-Bone’s book. Such mixed feelings, but for anyone who loves Cycling, its a must-read – you’ll have to decide for yourself if you think he’s telling the truth or lying, but I Coyle did a great job of adding footnotes which support his claims and point out what a claim has been unverified or the subject never responded to requests for interviews to verify.
I wouldn’t take the book as the gospel, since anytime someone tells a story it necessarily only tells their side of it, but I think by and large – and certainly the experiences of his Postal days alongside Pharmy are by and large telling the truth.
The book is a cathartic read for sure – I can imagine what he must feel like finally talking about this stuff because even for me – after spending all these years believing Armstrong and others were doping and knowing they were doping – it feels great to finally read what I consider the truth and have that finally be out there.
A few observations:
@Gianni
The fact that he won the stage on Tommy Simpson’s death anniversary and told everyone never to forget he’s a doper should be enough to make everyone admire him. There he is, his moment in the sun, and he talked about remembering he cheated. That is all class.
Blood sweat and Gears is a completely crap movie, but Millar comes through that as a class act as well; he talked so openly about it – “Well, I’m an ex-doper, so…”
I love how he faces it.
One thing, though; I always felt like he was doping a lot more than he said; from his book, does he maintain that he only doped for the TdF ITT and the Worlds, or did he admit to more wrongdoing?
@Cyclops
You forgot “vindictive” and “incompetent”.
@Bianchi Denti
Remember, if you get confused, just turn all the vowels to “i”s.
@anotherdownunder
Marko is doing a bit gravel race today – Heck of the North – I gave him the same advice. Bury the pin. Blow up if you have to. Have fun, don’t be a wheel sucker, if the rider in front of you opens the gap, close it down yourself.
We are not pros, we’re not getting paid (the oposite, actually) – so race in a style that you can be proud of and that makes it as much fun as possible. You’ll blow up 9 time out of 10, but maybe that tenth time you’ll win and that is pretty fucking cool.
@Marcus
And directors. And, lets face it, riders.
@Steampunk
Yep, you are correct. I know there was some passage in the book where everyone at Sliptream/Garmin was worried he was bailing, maybe before Sky put up their “iron clad” non-doper policy.
As for finding him not articulate, to each his own I guess, but for a professional athlete he is a good writer. Maybe that is faint praise but I think he is a good writer period. But being honest is a big part of it and if one thinks he is a bullshitter then it all falls apart.
@Gianni I love the idea that any regular reader of this site gives a flying fuck about the quality of any writing anywhere.
I don’t know, I just watched the David Miller Documentary and when he’s telling the story about his apartment getting searched and why the needle was there the BS alarm went off. But that’s just my feeling about it so take it for what it’s worth. Like I always says, “It’s just guys racing bikes”.
@frank
Yes! And point four is so interesting as Armstrong claims that it was Indurain who actually taught him to run the high cadence. So interesting as to what that implies!
I think that Millar is absolutely class act. I actually have a Garmin cycling cap that I wear purely in support of him, not the actually team or any other riders on it.