Book Reviews: Racing Through the Dark, The Secret Race
I must admit to not having read most of the cycling memoirs in the Works. I may eventually but the local public library doesn’t carry any of them and never will so I’ll have to buy them or ask Frank to tote everything he has to Hawaii. I did get off my wallet and buy these two and it was money well spent. David Millar and Tyler Hamilton have produced two excellent cycling books, parallel stories in very general terms and times. The contrast of how two people in similar straits handle the truth and the divergent roads it puts them on is compelling.
Doping in professional cycling is still secretive enough that it is best told from someone all the way on the inside. Journalists will be lied to by cyclists. Federal grand juries do better at getting the truth but we usually don’t hear it. Cyclists who lived the lie and need to unburden themselves make a good conduit. I can’t begin to explain it as well as Tyler or David did; their inner world of professional cycling is nothing we hear much about. In the 1990s it was the wild west where the law was absent. Spanish “doctors”, syringes and mini-centrifuges ruled the day. It’s such a huge subject, too interwoven with passion and pressure, so much grey area. For a person like me who likes to talk about doping in black and white, I’ve learned how institutionalized and insidious it was (past tense, I hope). It’s not so simple. It’s tragic. To feed the young ambitious athlete into a system where there is no choice but to accept the drug system is criminal. When money is at stake and the UCI is complicit, as is team management, those are some criminals.
Racing Through the Dark-by David Millar. I’ll also admit to being a long time admirer of David Millar. He has always been well- spoken and not afraid to confront, two qualities I admire and personally lack, but they make a good writer. Millar is a military brat who found his cycling talent in the 10 mile British time trial club races. He ended up living his dream, riding on the Cofidis team, France’s well- funded but dysfunctional squad. He spent his first few years with Cofidis riding clean, yet watching how others “prepared”.
“In my youthful exuberance, I was telling anybody who would listen that I’d won in De Panne and broken the course record with a hematocrit of only 40 percent. I went to see Casagrande and his roommate, whom I refer to as L’Équipier (the teammate), so that I could show Casagrande the test results.
I stood there, a big grin on my face, expecting Casagrande to congratulate me and say something morale boosting. But he didn’t. After a pause, he handed the results back to me and then turned to speak to his roommate in Italian.
“Perché non é a cinquate?” Casagrande asked L’Équipier, puzzled, Why isn’t he at fifty?
No one talked about doping and no one talked about not doping. Eventually, after VDB self-destructed and Casagrande was busted, Millar became a team leader. And with that mantle came the responsibility to produce results, be a professional. And eventually he was implicated by a teammate, evidence was found, he was out of cycling, deeply in debt, and drinking his way to the bottom.
For some interesting video here is a recent Spanish documentary from the inner ring.
The Secret Race-by Tyler Hamilton and Daniel Coyle. Tyler Hamilton and I grew up in the same end of Massachusetts, he went to the same prep school @rob and I dropped out of, so I always felt slightly connected to him. So I was a fan boy and stood by his fantastic excuses for too long.
The whole wretched story of doping in cycling is right here. Tyler Hamilton cheated and lied for so long, it took until 2011 before he could tell his parents the truth. And despite his decade of lying, this book rings true. His reward was getting out from under the lie. I think he would have written the book for free just for the unburdening. He states many times the lightness of being after testimony and though he knows it’s very unlikely, hopes Lance can feel the same lightness that comes from telling the truth. This book is Tyler Hamilton’s story but it is closely linked to part of the Armstrong saga.
Like Millar, Hamilton was unaware of systemic drug use until he had joined the professional ranks. US Postal drugs were at first team- provided and paid for. Once you proved yourself as one of the best riders on the team, as someone who could help Lance win the Tour, you earned the right to use EPO. It is fascinating reading, it’s horrifying, it’s depressing. Most unsettling is Lance Armstrong’s behavior. There are many revelations regarding Armstrong’s psychotic need to win. I’ll share just this one.
Tyler was eased out of US Postal because he was too strong a rider and perceived as a threat to Armstrong. So Tyler left and signed with Phonak in 2004. There was a time trial up Mont Ventoux in the 2004 Dauphiné Libéré weeks before the Tour de France. Tyler beat Lance in the TT. Later during the Tour, Floyd Landis, who was still riding for US Postal rode along side Tyler.
“You need to know something”
I pulled in closer. Floyd’s Mennonite conscience was bothering him.
“Lance called the UCI on you,” he said. “He called Hien, after Ventoux. Said you guys and Mayo were on some new shit, told Hien to get on you. He knew they’d call call you in. He’s been talking shit nonstop. And I think it’s right that you know.”
This little story is amazing for many different reasons and the only good one is Floyd Landis telling it to Tyler. I’m guilty of saying some negative things about Floyd, mostly because he was such an idiot liar. But at a point, when he has nothing to gain and he has lost everything else and he starts telling the truth, he gains back my respect, just like Tyler Hamilton has.
I ended up reading these books one right after the other. As I said before, I recommend them both. David Millar is a better writer. He actually has more demons to battle than Hamilton so his story of redemption is inspiring. Tyler Hamilton’s story is more depraved (in a doping sense) but both books are important. A lot of people in cycling are now admitting to past deeds in very unspecific terms. These two authors are both shining lights into some dark corners and making the inevitability of drug use in cycling more human and understandable. Also, in reading these books back to back, it highlights the contrast in how these two people dealt with their fates.
Both had the bad luck to be nearly singled out as dopers when a large percent of the riders were dopers. Millar realized it was the doping that killed his passion for even riding a bike. He took no joy in his EPO-assisted victories, only a temporary satisfaction that the task at hand was completed. He decided to come clean and to become an advocate for clean racing and changing the corrupt system.
Hamilton could not admit to anyone but his wife (who already knew) that he had been a cheat. His lie was so crushing he couldn’t even see a way out. He then spent all his money and energy protecting the lie for years, for nothing, obviously. It was the threat of perjury in that finally broke open the dam. It’s a cruel lesson to learn; the truth will set you free, even if it takes forever.
@frank
Beautiful! I need to heed this advice. I always try to race all sart and conservative in the Cat 4’s as a 40 year old. Why? Better to try to make the race than sit in and finish eighth!
@Bianchi Denti
This is a common criticism of Millar. I have no idea of what he actually told the authorities, police or otherwise but I’m not sure a book is the proper place to be airing such details. If he had named names in the course of any investigation, to then disclose those details in a book would potentially prejudice any investigation.
I can also see that for someone who has been reduced to nothing would have an extremely hard time rebuilding his life if he burnt all his bridges by doing the dirty on the peloton. He may have felt the only way to do any lasting good was to work from within the situation without actually shitting on people, many of whom he may have seen to be in a similar situation to the one that he’d found himself in. He may well have been in a position to try to do more but would it have achieved more?
I’m not trying to make any excuses for him and I’ll admit, I’m a fan but I brought into what he wrote and believe that he’s done infinitely more than any other rider that’s been caught.
@Marcus
Thank the baby jesus no one cares or this place would have ground to a halt a few years back. But we curse a lot, points for us. Motherfucker.
The Secret Race just delivered to the Kindle (my wife’s kindle)…..darn you people, making me become more literate.
@Chris
Yeah, that makes sense – remember he must have been the first rider to re-integrate after breaking Omerta – that’s no small matter, and it requires some careful dancing to pioneer that given the peloton’s love for sparrows.
Personally, I don’t see how his motivations have any bearing on whether or not he’s telling the truth. I haven’t read the book, but what’s important to me is if he told the truth and had an interesting story.
I don’t care about – and don’t speculate on – his motivations. I have zero context to judge on that, and I don’t see how it matters.
Did he want to make money? Sure? Who cares? I do, too. I have a job and I gladly accept a paycheck to continue to do it. I don’t think that discredits me in my field.
@frank ok on the pay cheque but the moment you take a free saddlforeign fizik I think you are a no good lying dog who would sell his grandma down the river for an ampoule of EPO
@Buck Rogers
So, the take-away is that all spinners are dopers? Just kidding, but it will be a good excuse to keep in my pocket.
Indurain still has amazing cardio abilities IIRC what someone posted here a while back.
@DerHoggz
oh yeah, Indurain has a huge engine, one of the highest VO2max’s recorded if I remember correctly. But I also believe that he was one of the early guys to ride the EPO wave as well.
@Buck Rogers
I think so too; and no, DerHoggz, I don’t think spinners are dopers (nice one), but what matters here is that spinning loads the cardio and grinding loads the muscles. As a non-doper, you should learn about your body and figure out which you can better afford to load based on your physiology, and don’t worry too much about what style is in vogue at any given time.
After Pharmy rode l’Alpe at about 100rpms, everyone and their brother, sisters, aunts and uncles were raving about spinning and I went from being considered a spinner for riding at 80ish to being a masher for riding at 80ish.
What is funny about it is that a good deal of the folks on the Spinning Wagon were loading a part of their physiology that couldn’t take it, and probably going slower for it.
The best option is probably to be able to do both and alternate in order to recuperate during efforts.
@frank
Hey one-eye, with the UCI’s regs, fat chance getting our kit “approved” in our first year of business…and how the fuck do you provide schematics of custom frames anyway? Frank, I see the incompetence as just part of the job. Bunch of douchebags. When is JV gonna start the pro league?
On a completely unrelated point (ok, maybe it is relevent, based on my tremendous amounts of testeroni), one of the neighbourhood kids just remarked on my moustache! With reverence!
@frank
I will disagree about Mig and EPO. At least with the massive amounts that the new generation was probably using. He was getting dropped like a Joey Tribioni spin-off in his last years, like all the other old guard seemed to be.
@Gianni
Well done on the reviews. I need to get my hands on them books now!
@frank
Just to be certain, I was joking, there was an implied emoticon…
Indurain is right at the point where he may or may not have, but his still great abilities at however old is reassuring. I doubt some old retired guy is still following a doping regimen, if he ever was.
@Buck Rogers
Wish I’d thought of that, “fuck my tits” or “McCoagal”? Dang.
@Adrian
In business one is faced with many opportunities to behave like a c*nt. Some people do very well out of it too. I try not to behave like one – it doesn’t always make you rich but you do feel a whole lot better. I’ve worked with and for some serious knob cheeses – we probably all have – not being a knob cheese is the highest calling a Velominatus can aspire to in my mind.
I mean do you really want to be Donald Trump?
Likewise in sport – if you have to be a COTHO to win, what’s the point? Pharmstrong probably won’t go to jail and might not even end up (financially) bankrupt but everyone knows he’s a c*nt and will continue to know this for the rest of his life.
@Dan_R I’m not saying whether or not Indurain was on EPO, but this is not exactly true. Sure he got worked over in the Tour, then simply didn’t care to ride in the Vuelta, but he still pulled out Olympic Gold in the time trial and had won the Dauphiné prior to the Tour. His disastrous Tour could be put down to the cold and rainy first week (conditions he hated) combined with dehydration much more than the other riders being better juiced than him.
@Oli Sorry, this is not clear – all this was from his final season in 1996. In 1995 he was still dominant, so my point is that he wasn’t “getting dropped like a Joey Tribioni spin-off in his last years” by any stretch of the imagination.
@the Engine
Except this guy:
I’ve just finished the Hamilton book and what I came away with was the normality of it all. The Authors succeed very well in my opinion in giving a sense of what it’s like to be in that team environment where you have constantly to prove yourself. The doctors were there to give their support to keep the riders ‘healthy’. That at least was how Celaya seemed to approach it in the first part of the book as I read it. I have a very different view of doping now having read that book. It’s no longer such a black and white concept in the context of how things were back then, at least if you look at it strictly from the riders perspective. Hamilton frames it in the way that you had to do it simply to keep up.
Of course from the perspective of the teams facilitating it, that’s clearly a far more good / evil business as they were really playing with riders lives.
@mouse
Playing with rider’s lives, but also ostracizing them when they tested positive. The ultimate no-win situation.
But I agree completely; the simplicity of the matter is that doping is cheating, end of. But nothing is very simple. Context is everything, and as you study the culture more and more, the clearer it becomes that this is very complicated from the rider’s perspective. Add to that the fact that most of these people skipped a college education in order to join the ranks of the Pro Cyclist and therefor have (a) less options to fall back on and (b) less of a whole-world perspective in which to view right and wrong and (c) are young, reckless, and ambitious.
He asked the question: what would you do? Today, I would say “hang it up”. But I’m 36. When I was 19, 20, 21, 22? I’d like to think I’d say no, but I didn’t say no to the bong or beer bottle then either, so who’s to say I’d have said no to EPO?
That said, starting to drink beer was the smartest thing I ever did, because it lets me solve all the worlds problems every night and then allows me to forget the solution and do it all over again the next day. You can’t put a price on that.
@graham d.m.
When is the lightbulb going to come on in Phil’s brain? Sherwin can’t be blind. Liggett seems to have made himself the fool by giving Lance such a defense but really, who cares. It’s his problem to sort out.
@mouse
And even when they didn’t pay for or supply them (post-Festina) they were still expecting their riders to be on them.
@frank
I’d put this on a 3 x 5 card and save it for the lecture.
@Oli
My correction is, “in his last year.” My opinion is still that Mig, as well as a few others that ended careers in the mid 90s, got shelled by the EPO generation. Was Riis really that good? I am not convinced. I am going to run a few points on this one, so…
The Prophet retired in March, 1978 at age 33. At that time his last win was in July 77, soon after his 6th at the Tour. That’s about eight months, most of which was the off-season (Did Eddy have an off-season?) I would say 4 months of actual racing happened in that period. Keep with me on this. Others that retired in the 90s (and victims of the EPO explosion IMO – Steve Bauer, 37 years old (OK that is old for a racer) retired in 1996 after the Olympics. He finished 41st. He didn’t add much to his palmares after 92. Andy Hampsten, age 33 at his retirement (he was 10th overall at the Giro to 58th the next year?) LeMan (cringe) retired after a horrendous last few years at 33. Yes, he himself blamed other health issues, but he was already getting left behind in 92. And Mig, was 32. And yes, he was still winning and performing at a high level, but I think he saw the writing on the wall and left the game early. What else might have been attached to the 4.5 million euro Saiz was offering. One can speculate with Saiz. Hell, even Pharmy came back to a top ten after his first retirement.
What I am trying say with the comparison to The Prophet, is that all these guys were relatively successful in racing, but instead of finishing with panache, they were left behind. Yes, dropped like a Joey Tribioni spin-off. And probably saw no way to stay other than a little hi-test to keep up. I will leave with this as my Parthian shot…
http://www.velominati.com/the-hardmen/awesome-belgian-guys-edwig-van-hooydonk/
@Dan_R So you are saying that a guy like Le MOnd – who actually did say he was getting left behind by EPO and retired in 94 but whose last few years were relatively poor – is in the same boat as Mig who dominated that same era that left LeMonbehind?
@Dan_R I think some of your thinking is right, but some of the conjecture a bit out. I take your general point though.
@frank
I think that is the key question; “What would you do?”
Hamilton comes across as a fundamentally decent guy. He even refrains from making generalisations about Armstrong. What he does do is to refer to specific instances of interactions with him that don’t paint Armstrong in a particularly positive manner, but there you go.
What would I do? I’m imagining a hypothetical situation where I’d busted my ass to get to a reasonably successful position in a sport that I loved to find that the rules had changed. Where I could no longer be competitive unless I got with the program.
If I were in Hamilton’s shoes, I would likely have done as he’d done.
It would likely be a different answer if I was just starting out as a stagiare and that was the stark choice. Dope or don’t start.
Certainly there are many shades of grey in this picture. It has indeed changed the way I view cycling, even today. I can no longer hold the view that cycling is totally clean as I don’t believe that there has been sufficient structural change to make doping go away. It doesn’t mean I love it any less but I’ll be a bit more circumspect about it.
It gives me much more respct for Vaughters than I had before, for example.
@Marcus@Oli
I’ll just say that Mig was a few years younger than LeMond. And yes, I think that if it had not been for Delgado, Mig may have challenged LeMond for the overall – it was not as if he really came out of nowhere. Mig was a contemporary of LeMan, he turned pro after teh 84 Olympics, just as Bauer did, and started winning soon after. I think that LeMond tried to fight too long, which some will chalk up to the falling star syndrome or his onset of mitochondrial myopathy (I had to look that one up). Mig was most likely aware that EPO was rampant by 96 and thought it was too much. When I see Mig’s last season, to me, it is clear that the peloton just left him behind by the end of the year, with the OLympic TT being his swansong.
I dunno, I just always put him in the same club as the other guys I mention. They all demonstrated being able to ride well in their early 30s, but not to the same degree as just one previous season. I have always thought that as difinative of who “did what it took,” to stay in the game. Many other riders from the late 80s early 90s continued well into the late 90s, yet the best of the crop fell to the wayside.
I trust you guys see the beer on my desk….
As I say, as a Big Mig fan since the 80s I disagree entirely about Indurains being “left behind” in ’96, despite him tanking in the Tour. The reasons for him quitting are a whole other issue, and you may well be right about the EPO part of them, but when you see that just this year he tested to such a level that he could be competitive in today’s peloton I really think it was more to do with his head than his legs.
@Dan_R, @Oli
I don’t think any of us are in a position to definitively state if he was on EPO or not, but the timing is right, and to my mind he didn’t really show GT capabilities until he started winning it – though he won stages and Paris-Nice.
To my feeling, he became very good very quickly, right when EPO came in, so it seems likely he was on it. But I definitely agree with Oli that his fall in ’96 seemed more due to weather and prep than to drugs or not – the drugs had been in the peloton pretty full-bore for years already by that time.
His dominance also bore a significant resemblance to Pharmy’s, if you take my implication…
@Deakus
It’s a great read. Anquetil decimates everything in his path. Women, food, bikes, Pou Pou, women, champagne and various meats served alongside with frites.
[email protected]
Uncle.
Well, I just finished The Secret Race….quite a read. I couldn’t put it down. I agree with @mouse that Hamilton seems like a decent guy and it was shocking how…normal it all seemed, how easy. Maybe I’m just gullible, but I really believed Hamilton on most accounts. Two things stuck out to me 1) I always thought Lance doped, but I didn’t hate him really (I didn’t know the full story I guess). After reading that book, I understand the COTHO title! Hamilton didn’t even go after Pharmy as aggressively as he could have, for the most part he let Lance’s douchery speak for its self. 2) If put in the same situation as Hamilton I can’t say that I wouldn’t have used EPO, I’d like to say I never would have but it’s easy for me to play the role of moral superior from the couch. I do view doping as cheating, but I don’t condemn the dopers as humans, the issue is too complex. I finally understand Lance’s COTHO crown isn’t from doping, but from being a twat.
Both just arrived. Already totally engrossed in Hamilton’s book. Wow, really hard to put down.
Just finished Millars book…wow. In light of todays announcements I feel I have a better understanding as to the “why” individuals made certain choices. Doesn’t make it any better or excusable, but at least I have a glimpse into that world. Should be interesting to see COTHO and his worshippers spin doctor the next few weeks.
@Tobin
My feelings about the book too, I came away seeing how pervasive and hard to resist it was. The shit is really hitting the fan today for Lance. His lawyers are just sounding more and more shrill. If lance has to testify in the possible Brunyeel trial, under oath, in public, wowzer, that could be interesting.
some more reading, the 202 page USADA Reasoned Decision document that some of you may be interested in:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/109619079/Reasoned-Decision
@Oli @Marcus @frank
Gents, unlike many people in the public eye, I am not below admitting that I may have been wrong. After much thought and a bit of reading into Big Mig’s comments on the whole Pharmy – USADA thing while in Vegas, I am more along the lines of a different viewpoint.
And on the big subject of the day, I think the responses from the sanctioned witnesses fits. Of course nothing is new to the Pharmy story if you are a cycling fan. Like we were surprised by any of what has been reported?
Does Christophe Bassons deserve to be a bit more bitter?
@Tobin Yup. I think the multitude will be blind. I totally agree to the “why.” Being around sports and elite athletes for a long time, I understand. ANd in the case of any teammate of Pharmy’s, imagine getting on the big team, getting a result, and then the mafia comes out and says dope or you are gone – man that dude was a dick. I really see it from a gang mentality – here you are part of the lie now so you have as much to lose.
@Dan_R NIcely put. I thought I was wrong once – but it turns out I was mistaken.
And as a very smart man once told me, “Son, it’s ok to be wrong, but never be in doubt.”
With all the excrement that is hitting the fan today (even though these suspensions were leaked months ago), it is going to be very interesting to see how the
The biggest casualty behind Big Tex might be Big George – he loses his only 2nd placing in Paris-Roubaix, his stage victory in the 2005 Tour – another win to Oscar Pereiro off the back of a US doper! And is now not the guy who has ridden the most Tours?
…how the UCI handle the results now that ride rrecords have been deleted – guess they will do nothing…
Man, such a bitter sweet day for US cycling. Everyone finally coming clean but losing all their results, which will in most cases be inherited by riders without the integrity, no matter how long delayed, to admit that they were doping as well. Actually really saddened by all of this even though knew it to be true for so many years.
@Buck Rogers
I hear you, brother. On the one hand its very disappointing and the stripping of results is ridiculous. On the other hand, I find it incredibly relieving to finally read these confessions. We’ve been lied to for years and years and knew – KNEW – the truth but no one would say it straight.
I personally applaud those riders who are confessing and thank them from the bottom of my heart to finally let us know the truth. I say HAT, good sirs, no matter how sad the truth is.
@frank
I love the part where Levi’s affidavit of his confession is notatized by Haven Parchinski. Yes, that Haven: Tyler’s ex-wife.
@frank
I think it is the authorities, not the riders, who should be applauded. It appears that the likes of USADA’s investigators were the ones who did the hard yards gathering evidence and then compelled the riders to testify. The riders then had the choice of fully disclosing their histories or lying in the face of that evidence (and the expected evidence from their teammates) and risking perjury charges. The investigators would have known these boys weren’t going to voluntarily tell all – because that would cause them to “rat on” their mates – so they forced their hands.
The investigators gave the riders no choice but to tell all.
However it is sad that US (and a Canadian) riders are the ones being put in the limelight when they were just doing the same as so many others…
Just read Levis’ affidavit – he puts Mick Rogers in the sh-t by saying he was on training camps with Vino, Popovych and Dr Ferrari in ’05. Think these were the infamous “Men in Black” camps where none of them wore team gear.
@Marcus
Is the full evidence package up somewhere? I’ve only seen the 200 pager.
@Nate
Go here – hours of reading ahead
http://cyclinginvestigation.usada.org/
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/usada-believes-one-in-a-million-chance-armstrong-rode-2009-2010-tours-clean
To quote Harry Dunne, “So your saying there’s a chance.” Wonder if Lance’s million dollar legal team will try that defense?
@Marcus
It’s always struck me as odd that Rogers has seemingly skirted past doping allegations despite consistently riding on teams where it was basically part of the team charter…
@Dan_R I agree. I’m now happy (?) to admit that I was wrong all along, and that sadly my faith was misplaced. Oh well, I’ve got more important stuff to worry about really anyway…
@Mikael Liddy
Well, his current team has a charter not to be involved with anyone “with a past”. Wonder how stringently they will apply it now…
@Gianni
I found Hamilton’s book a revelation.The opening quote from Emile Zola really sums it up :
I know you should never believe as gospel everything you read … but in the context of thie book and all that has emerged, the following spring to mind when I now think of Armstrong:
audacious ; malicious ; bereft ; manipulative; hypocritical ; Machiavellian ; self-serving; greedy ; conniiving ; nasty ; underhand ; corrupt ; patronising ; condescending ; conceited ; superficial ; contemptible ; paranoid ; bully ; calculating ; pathological tyrant.
As we know, this is not a story about doping – as fascinating the antics and topic actually is, and it is – but more a simple Shakespearean tragedy centred around the rise and fall of Armstrong’s empire. The outrage of it all is that imperfect but fundamentially decent, expendable people were used, chewed-up and spat out as collateral damage, thrown to the gutter without a second thought by Armstrong / the system he dominated.And it is this that I was left with from this read – that Armstrong is a really unpleasant, warped piece of work. So yeah – long way of saying I now understand why we call him COTHO.