Anatomy of a Photo: Awkward Adolescence

Anatomy of a Photo: Awkward Adolescence

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// Anatomy of a Photo

  1. @Pedale.Forchetta
    Grazie, that fine photo helps to remove the bitter taste of the ‘softride’ frames I just looked at.

  2. @Chris
    That GT Superbike was designed for track events at the ’96 Olympics in Atlanta, and I don’t believe it ever saw the street. Anyhow, the Swiss quickly banned it for being too fast and too ugly. :)

  3. @scaler911
    I hate to admit it, but I had one of these in 1994… I had a mullet too, come to think of it. Good times…

  4. “…made popular by men and women wearing Speedos and doodle on themselves…”

    *sobs quietly*

  5. @frank
    Frank, Kinda cool. Not fully cool, just kinda. And it’s being ridden by a doper so I guess it an appropriate pairing. At least they got the color right.

  6. Hi, I’m new here *waves*

    I, along with I’m sure many other perusers of this fine website, would love to read an article about the God Of The Road that is S Yates. This true Hardman epitomises everything that we mere mortals aspire to be: incomprehensibly fast, a demon descender, and feared by every member of the peloton, all while managing to be effortlessly stylish both on and off the bike.

    frank, sir, I beg of you.

  7. @Routier

    Yates 2011…dinna fuck with him!

  8. My favorite modern TT photo:

  9. @scaler911
    My dad has four – count them, FOUR – softrides. Two mountain bikes and two road. They’re actuall not bad for mountainbiking; you develop an incredible stroke because if you don’t pedal round, you’ll bounce. And the descend like a set of downhill skis; you can load it as you corner so it carves like a ski.

    Oh, and yes: they are a total abomination of all good taste and sensibility.

  10. @Chris

    There’s something about that black Lotus that’s strangely compelling. The GT, on the other hand, with it’s unisex step through design looks like an early prototype of the Boris Bike from when the designer only hear the “we want something that will get the commuter around town quickly” and didn’t hear “that will also have benign handling, be robust and cheap to produce”

    I had a poster of Boardman rolling that Lotus in my room for ages. Agree, it’s somehow very cool – probably for te same reason Obree made his abominations look good: they just oozed class from their pores.

    Shit, Boardman even made Mektronic look good.

  11. @Routier, @Gianni
    We’ll do it, promise. His awesomness has graced these pages before, but a full retrospective indefinitely overdue. As a fellow tall guy, I have mountains of respect for the dude.

    @Gianni
    And he’s graced with the unique Merckx-given gift of just looking more and more badass with age. What a fucking stud. The dude is so awesome I’m not ashamed to say I’d prolly do him if he asked. Partly because I’d be scared to say no, but still.

  12. @Routier
    Welcome…good to have you in with us sickies. We do have this little bit of a tease on Yates. Yes, he is a stud.

  13. Speaking of old guys who are fast, Sven Nys is 35?!

  14. @Gianni

    @frank
    Cool photos, you should own a TT bike, yes? You would look good on one. Lemond’s position looks awfully good in his ADR kit photo, wasn’t that the fastest TT ever in the TdF? Mien Gott, faster than Faboo?

    Yes, I should. I think it’s the only part of this sport I’d ever be good at. Thankfully, I don’t have TT bike, so we can’t disprove that assertion.

    I think that was the fastest ever TT, although it’s possible that Dave Z set a faster time in 2004 when I took the yellow jersey. He had a tail wind the whole way, everone else had a headwind. Still, a great way to enter the Tour. He then promptly crashed out of the jersey by hitting his bars with his knee during the TTT.

    LeMond’s position in photo 7 of 14 (where did the captions go?) but that is not the final TT; that is the one from mid-race, when he surprisingly took yellow, riding mostly in the rain. You can tell that the aero bars are not fully taped down as in photo 6 of 14, and the arm rests are black – those are home-made arm rests; Boone Lennon made them up for him and then made him some better ones for the final TT. I think the ones in photo 7 are actually wrapped in electrical tape!

  15. @G’rilla

    Speaking of old guys who are fast, Sven Nys is 35?!

    I just turned 35. I can probably smoke that old fossil.

  16. @frank

    Speaking of old guys who are fast, Cyclops is 50?!

    I just turned 35. I can probably smoke that old fossil.

    FTFY.

  17. @mcsqueak
    you sure you wanted to open that can of works a week before the cogal?

  18. Let’s not forget about these:

    I actually remember racing against some pros riding these in the 90s. I wasn’t sure what to think of them at the time.

  19. Slingshot is still around believe it or not. Strangely I can’t find any good photos on their own website. I’m not surprised.

  20. @michael
    is that thing’s stiffness and stability all meant to be coming through the tension in a cable? Or has it just got a see through downtube?

  21. @michael
    Awesome! Under what circumstances are those bikes supposed to not suck? Surely there was one the could think of? Maybe for riding down a slip n’ slide?

  22. This is really the only sensible reaction to have to being asked to ride a bike like this:

  23. Check it before you wreck it.

  24. @frank
    Jesus, Frank. Just for posting that or even knowing where to find it, I think you need to take a time out.

  25. @Gianni
    Isn’t there an amazing photo of Yates suffering like a dog in Graham Watson’s “Images of Cycling”? The one of him in, I think, MSR, when he looked over at Graham and Graham snapped the photo, then felt guilty b/c of the suffering that he had just captured? Such an amazing photo. Pretty sure it was Yates. (Don’t have my book with me at work).

  26. @frank

    @wiscot
    The funniest thing about that pic is the Bike Nashbar sticker.

  27. I think I’m pretty happy I missed out on a lot of these since I had yet to become a Follower. Wow, lots of ugly bikes in here.

    Damn, a Softride tattoo? That might be worse than the cunts with aerospoke fixie tattoos.

  28. Damn, riding a one-piece yellow bike in a red Speedo. That’s tough.

    At that angle his bottle appears to have elephantitis.

  29. @Gianni

    I think Sean Yates has modelled himself on The Man With No Eyes (Cool Hand Luke).

    @frank Sweet Jesus, my eyes, my eyes….

  30. @Buck Rogers

    @Gianni
    Isn’t there an amazing photo of Yates suffering like a dog in Graham Watson’s “Images of Cycling”? The one of him in, I think, MSR, when he looked over at Graham and Graham snapped the photo, then felt guilty b/c of the suffering that he had just captured? Such an amazing photo. Pretty sure it was Yates. (Don’t have my book with me at work).

    You’re talking about this one, and Gianni already did a piece on it here.

    Look how much bigger her was back then, compared to this:

  31. @Buck Rogers
    Buck, I think that was a fairly recent Anatomy of a Photo article. It shows Sean in his less svelte days covered in crap in M-SR. He’s suffering and want to do so in peace, then Watson snaps his pic. I imagine having a motorbike to make one’s escape on would be a good thing in that situation.

    I’m sure Frank can repost the photo . . .

  32. @frank
    Thanks Frank!

    That’s exactly it. Man, what a photo. If that doesn’t hit you in the lower gut with some sort of relative sense to your own past history of suffering on the bike, you need to ride/race more.

    I’m sure it was all the clenbuterol that he used in the years in between the photos.

  33. @frank
    I hope he didn’t throw those bottles away, some poor innocent kid could have picked them up. A safer strategy would be to burn them . . .

  34. @frank
    Damn Frank, you’re fast . . .

  35. You guys’ posts are fun to read late at night. I had to climb into the attic to get a pick of this old horse.

  36. @jimmy
    Oh to have such treasures in the attic! Is that a Bianchi behind the Lemond? If those are Mavic cowhorn bars, I had a pair myself on my Cougar TT bike. What kind of seatpost bolt is on the Lemond? Some kind of funky quick-release?

  37. @wiscot
    All mavic on the battaglin/lemond except the crappy dia compe aero brakes. QR binder bolt keeps the post in place well enough to hang from rafters. Yeah, SLX bianchi with silca pump and campy head.

  38. @James

    Hey, I have a set of those Death Noodle bars! :) The future was 1996… and then the UCI ruined everyone’s fun.

    Bloody Hell! There are some horror stories in there!!!

  39. @Dr C
    @frank

    I think the idea was to be able to dismember people in high-speed crashes.

    Also, while riding, one was able to vary the tension on the cable through a complicated method of pelvic tilting vs. arm pressure and could entertain one’s riding compatriots by playing simple tunes by plucking the cable. The downfall of this technique was the attachment method of the picks to the shoes which required wild ankle twisting in Speedplay pedals to hit just the cable and not the frame or crank arms.

  40. @jimmy


    You guys’ posts are fun to read late at night. I had to climb into the attic to get a pick of this old horse.

    WOAH, dude. That is my favorite crankset ever – the Mavic SSC. Nice! And is that I black chrome Bianchi I spy with my little eye? You’ve got some history up in your attic….

    @michael

    @Dr C
    @frank
    I think the idea was to be able to dismember people in high-speed crashes.
    Also, while riding, one was able to vary the tension on the cable through a complicated method of pelvic tilting vs. arm pressure and could entertain one’s riding compatriots by playing simple tunes by plucking the cable. The downfall of this technique was the attachment method of the picks to the shoes which required wild ankle twisting in Speedplay pedals to hit just the cable and not the frame or crank arms.

    Gold!

  41. @jimmy

    @wiscot
    All mavic on the battaglin/lemond except the crappy dia compe aero brakes.

    Hey!

    WTF are those doing in the attic?

  42. @mouse
    my kid is too small to ride them. He’s in the transitional phase between pull-ups and skinny jeans.

  43. @mouse

    Yeah, I don’t understand why they aren’t on the living room wall like they should be. Ridden at least once a month too.

  44. @Pedale.Forchetta

    Thomas Lövkvist at the Giro 2011.

    @Pedale.Forchetta

    Thomas Lövkvist at the Giro 2011.

    Shows how refined the technology is now compared to what it was, doesn’t it.

    Great photo Pedale, chapeau!

  45. Damn, we should all have a LeMan funny bike in our attic…

    That second photo of Yates in the Motorola kit (riding P-R?) is all the convincing I need that my next Belgian booties need to be white, despite the absurdity of wearing white on your feet during bad weather.

    And on that note, can I get a Ruling: should they be called Belgian booties or oversocks? Or overshoes? (I’m talking fabric ones, not neoprene or waterproofs.)

  46. @Ron

    I call mine DeFeet Slipstreams. I know, boring.

  47. @jimmy
    I’m calling CPS about this bike neglect. Cycle Protective Services. Expect a visit.

    Bikes always look so wrong without a chain. Like they are hamstrung.

  48. @itburns
    Hah! It only looks like abuse. The battaglin could use a chain and brake cables no doubt. And bar tape. I have no interest in sourcing or procuring a 650c tubular or a new one for the disc just to look at. Until I have a reason to display them, these jewels (and other partially cannibalized classics I’m afraid to show you!) are safest in the attic. The Bianchi has cracked, egg shaped head tube lugs from being raced over too many bad French and Belgian roads. I rode it to the park a few times with my kid on his scuut bike this summer.

  49. @Ron
    Ron,

    I think if it has a sole of a different material/fabric than the upper, it’s an overshoe. If the whole thing is the same fabric, it’s an oversock. Personally, I call the latter shoecovers, the former overshoes.

  50. I call them a stinky damp PITA that keep my feet warm. Till I don’t need em no more then I call them ‘what the hell are you doing in my f’en sock draw?’ when I’m looking for a black pair of socks.

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