Anatomy of a Photo: Lemon Leather

Anatomy of a Photo: Lemon Leather

by / / 63 posts

All I can do is quote @michael:

$27,250 for this POS. Don’t know if it’s worth an article or just a post, but for that price, I’d like my really cheap saddle set back properly.

The beautiful thing for us is that an Anatomy of a Photo piece can almost be the same as a post, which makes talking about such abominations easy. Helps put @Jeff in PetroMetro‘s $3300 Look 595 in perspective.

// Anatomy of a Photo

  1. @Frank

    Someone hacked the front page, and posted a picture of a really shitty looking bike.

  2. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that enough money for THREE really nice, fully built, pro level bikes? WTF?

    For 27 grand, buy a friggin’ lobotomy dipshit.

  3. Ugh… had to V-up so f’ing hard on todays ride and this is the shit I find waiting for me?

    Point taken, Frank… but holy shit, I wasn’t expecting something like this.

    Anyway, that livestrong-looking-P.O.S. needs a belt-drive…

  4. Try riding this gem.

  5. @razmaspaz
    Raz: That post actually made me laugh. Well done!

  6. For and extra $4k you can get this matching European Posterior Man Satchel

    And you fuckers thought my AoP piece on Simoni and Cunego chillin in the hot tub was bad?

  7. @Marko
    GodDamn! What is it, a full moon or something? This thread is bringing the worst out of everyone!

  8. Jeff in PetroMetro:
    Really? For that? The saddle better be made from the foreskin of a white rhino and the paint pigment from Lance’s pee tests.


    Also, WTF is that? I would hesitate to actually use the word “bicycle” or “bike” to describe this, as I feel it does a true injustice to the the entire sport, cyclists & anyone with an ounce of taste or style.

    But then again, matching it with @Marko’s posterior man satchel pic & may be even the Yellow Princesses (no disrespect meant to the Mavic’s Marko, just thought they would match the outfit, sorry yellow piece of shit, sorry thing loosely being described as a bike) & they would look super leading Sydney’s Mardi Gras parade later this month.

  9. @Buck Rogers
    Spot on. Het Nieuwsblad can’t get here soon enough, can it?

  10. Team kit?

  11. Sorry, that’s disrespectful to the Mardi Gras, the Yellow Princesses & even the yellow European posterior man satchel.
    In hindsight, it (i.e. the yellow POS) is pretty much disrespectful to these pages. I withdraw all further comments by myself as the more I think about it the less should be said, but seriously $27K for that….. what is the world coming to?

  12. Geoffrey Grosenbach:
    At least it doesn’t have a rivet in the soft bits like this $60k custom goth leather TT bike.

    Well at least reading through the comments on that POS, Cervelo disown any “collaboration” with the so called designer!

  13. Frank is laughing his ass off right now as we all should!
    He’s just f*cking with our minds, can’t you see?!
    I bet he has himself locked up in his Merckx shrine and lighted by scented candles ofcourse, is working on another one of his fine writings!

  14. Brett:
    A water buffalo died for that? The bike isn’t the piece of shit, Williams is.

    +1. I’m trying to imagine the guy at the counter, cards out, about to fork out 27k for that thing. And taking his money, as soon as the card clears ripping the shit out of him. Take it to Pharrell’s house and you’ll be BFFs.

  15. That yellow thing has nothing to do with a bicycle.

  16. That bike represents everything that is wrong with the world. Trendy greed will be the undoing of humanity. One of the first signs of the Apocalypse will be cyclocross bike from Wal Mart.

  17. Cyclops :
    That bike represents everything that is wrong with the world. Trendy greed will be the undoing of humanity. One of the first signs of the Apocalypse will be cyclocross bike from Wal Mart.

    So true. That’s when I take up curling. Or javelin catching.

  18. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Of course, it’s okay to buy a Look from them…

    Mind how you go: curling is sacred up here.

  19. Sweetness. It has a flat crown fork…with miles of clearance. So tight!

  20. And this bike + photo makes me yearn, deeply, for the Simoni & Cunego tub pic. Bring it back!! I want it.

  21. @Ron

    And this bike + photo makes me yearn, deeply, for the Simoni & Cunego tub pic. Bring it back!! I want it.


  22. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    That one looks like a true representation of a ‘marriage bike’…

  23. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Thank you!
    That’s my western seal of approvation

  24. It is Rule #40 compliant, in a lemony-fresh sort of way.

  25. the front wheel’s in backwards

  26. I believe that this is the kind of guy who would the buy the Lemon Special

  27. @Pedale.Forchetta

  28. @Marcus
    I don’t get it. Isn’t that how everyone rides indoors?

  29. @packfiller
    Push me, pull you?

  30. Here are some sweet Yellow Princesses to wear with this ride:

    Between the Pharmy piss, the satchel, and the team kit, you assholes are seriously twisted.

  31. @frank

    Ronald McDonald’s yellow princesses? Actually, just picturing him on that yellow POS & it all makes sense now

  32. @Marcus

    That needs to be in it’s own Anatomy of a Video post.

  33. mightyninja :
    Ronald McDonald’s yellow princesses? Actually, just picturing him on that yellow POS & it all makes sense now

    He’d be wearing a matching Livestrong wristband, too…

  34. I’m in Prague at the moment and a clothing store has a front window display featuring a “fixie.” I’ll try and get a photo of it. All white, white rims, white grips. Not like its a new trend, but still odd that junky fixies aren’t just a plague in the U.S. but all over.

  35. @Ron

    I went to the mall (ugh x100) last week to pay a visit to the Church of St. Jobs (Apple Store), and I walked past a new store that is sort of like a Hot Topic and Spenser’s Gifts combined. They had “Messenger Bikes” hanging in the windows, which were for sale inside the store for $399, and came with color-matched “deep” wheels and chains. I’m glad urban street cred is just a mall purchase away.

    On the other hand, I saw a guy riding a classic-looking blue Bianchi yesterday, which was miraculously not converted into a fixie. It had all the gears in place, and the rider may as well have been a reader of this site, because he was obviously following The Rules. It made me happy inside to see that.

  36. @mcsqueak He sounds like a fellow traveler – Anyone on a classic Bianchi is +1 in my book.

    Why is it that we do not get that “happy inside” feeling as much as “I just threw up in my mouth” taste when viewing the passing throngs on bikes? As a transgressor as well as a strict follower of the Rules I make sure to keep a 3 to 1 ratio of Rules compliant to my one fixie folder Rule breaker. That means on the road, track and second road bike I am in V. kit and the bikes are not lumbered with saddle bags. On the commuter I am incognito in street clothes. I imagine that this relationship to bikes is similar in Europe where I have seen so many more kitted out riders. In their non road bike rides to the cafe, i.e. around the corner on the city bike, they go under the radar in street wear but they still manage to look good.

    It raises the question of what do you wear on your $27,fricking000 piss yellow bike – but I guess this post has answered that!

    Can someone with photo shop skills combine the jester, shoes and bike above? Oh and don’t forget the bag… Thanks.

  37. @Rob

    Yes, it was refreshing to see one that wasn’t bastardized to hell as a fixie, like 3/4 of them are in this city. On one hand, I’d rather see cyclists than cars, so the more the merrier, even if they are ignorant of The Rules. On the other hand, have some respect for vintage steel, and what in the name of Merckx is so bad about having some gosh darn gears, anyhow?

    This guy would have made Frank proud too, he was very tall, and had plenty of seat post showing, with his bars slammed way down. He was even rocking a cycling cap in a non-ironic way, since he was also wearing proper kit.

  38. Whooa, little bit of an issue with the cap… but since the rest is so classic sounding it probably should be over looked? I do not know where you are but in my experience someone sporting such good taste and nonchalant cap wearing is usually a denizen of hard core bike shops and usually only let out for lunch time errands when not chained to a bench in the back room?

    Gears are good, but I also have to admit to a yearly need for fixed gear mashing. There is something so lovely and essential about a nicely set up track bike. Its the kids who jump on one with no hard core experience that give it a bad name. If you are a bike messenger or a roadie in winter training mode then you know of what you ride.

    On the other hand ANY bike that gets the uninitiated to start riding and keep riding should be praised and the whole fixie skidder scene has done that in spades. My other favorite bike web site is LFGSS – not only is it London and Brit humor but they know of what they speak.

  39. @Rob

    See, I still like cycling caps. I have one, but don’t wear it often… I think I look silly in caps of all sorts, and it doesn’t fit well under my current helmet. Maybe my next helmet will allow me to rock a cap under it for added style during rainy riding. I’m in Portland, Oregon so you can pretty much find stereotypical cyclists of every sort here.

    I’ll give you that fixed gear bikes are not bad per se, but I just don’t get the whole urban culture around them, which I’ll own to being my own bias. I think they would make a good addition to a bike collection to have one, especially for wet-weather riding since you can just throw it back in the garage with minimal maintenance. I do know several people who race that enjoy them for base mile upkeep during the winter.

  40. @mcsqueak
    Re the caps, that’s a shame. You obviously need a new helmet and must bring your cap with you when you go helmet shopping. Here is a non-exclusive list of reasons to sport a cap:
    –Low sun angle due to time of day or season
    I.e., just about any day in Portland.

  41. But you do look like a bit of a dick, and I say that despite often wearing one myself…

  42. @mcsqueak
    I scared myself the other day by considering, for a moment, buying a single gear bike for basic transportation. The Bianchi Pista runs only about $700 and would be great for the 2-5k I ride during the day.

    But I’ll probably just buy a shorter stem on my 1997 LeMelvis and keep it hobbling along. It’s less likely to be stolen off the side of the road. Or if it was, I wouldn’t shed a tear.

  43. @mcsqueak

    @Geoffrey Grosenbach
    There is something about fixed… metaphorically you are transported back to the dawn of cycling and there is also the physical feeling which combines a lightness of the stroke with work/effortlessness at the same time. Not to mention it will teach you to relax as well as keep your stroke honest (no I won’t start the VMH jokes now).

    I think there is a fear factor in those who have never spent more than 10 minutes on one – after 15 you feel the thrill. It is counter intuitive but you stop pedaling once (in my case the day I bought it, 30 years ago and rode home over the rail tracks I always coasted over and I still remember it like yesterday) and after you realize you did not die, in fact nothing happened it becomes second nature.

    I made a few friends living on Long Island for 2 years and left this last fall only to get an email saying the group of 5 I rode with (me on fixed spring and fall) had all bought the same fixed bikes and were now doing the late year weekend rides en masse passing pace lines on their identical bikes! I love the image.

    I like that Bianchi by the way.

    On the cap, fail on my part I thought the guy was helmetless. Still I too don’t carry off the look very well so it is the rare day I wear one. The dude only sounds better for being classy with one and therefor can’t possibly be a bike shop drone out for a sandwich without his helmet…

    I’ve got to say that if one should wear a cap off the bike (a la Gianni) it must be old and from some great race/manufacturer, so if you did not do Nationals or own full Campy or such a MacDonalds cap just wont do it.

  44. lets not sentimentalise fixies too much, they are very very good for going extremely fast around a velodrome, and are excellent winter bikes. But I’ve spent seasons training for track, got back on a road bike and had the jerkiest pedal stroke ever from being set up differently on the track bike. Just remember NOT to be one of the guys in the hipster woolen jumper and flat cap, with your seat way too high grinding a massive gear into a headwind while riding a tubular tri spoke front wheel (bastards – tried to buy one of those lately?) and deep v on the back. They’re just not good riders for the most part, and rediculously overequipped.

  45. And also, FML I had to look at that yellow POS and try to figure out if the leather on the handlebar is continuous under the stem or if it’s in 2 pieces…

  46. @Nate

    Ha, the sun thing is spot on. Originally I bought the cap for late fall rides home from the office, as a fair bit of the ride is directly due west into the setting sun.

    @Geoffrey Grosenbach

    Just don’t buy the clothing that is supposed to go along with it.


    Yeah, when I have more disposable income I wouldn’t mind a cheap fixed ride for fun, and I can see the appeal of the drivetrain setup to mix it up a bit with riding style vs. a standard setup.

    I did see a shop guy with an old Team Z/Peugeot cap recently, which was pretty sweet. He had his bill flipped up though, not sure I feel so great about that.

    I think wearing a cap while engaged in some sort of cycling related activity, say being the support car for Frank’s mountain adventure or working on your own rigs at home is cool.

  47. @minion
    Not sure about that cross over to road “jerkie” pedal stroke although my fixed seat height is a little lower so there is no “jiging” on the saddle when the rpm’s are high.

    +1 on what not to look like on your fixie skidder. On the other side I have seen some amazing bike handling by messenger types in NYC – micro skids on brakeless fixie in traffic at 35 kpm or the guy who stuck his shoe between the tire and seat tube to stop.

    +1 on the Z/Peugeot cap and agree that you either have to have elan a la Gianni on the mountain or be private in ones own little fantasy world… and I might not limit it to just working on the bikes, if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink , wink…

  48. Steampunk:
    Mind how you go: curling is sacred up here.

    Ahh, curling… because bowling wasn’t boring enough, someone had to re-invent it where you drink even more while freezing your a$$ off on a sheet of ice. Don’t worry, though, Steampunk, I’m Canajun too.

  49. Here is the scene in a store window here in Prague:

    And a closer shot:

    Non-drive side positioning…Guess the person who put it together needs some lessons in posing a bicycle.

  50. @Marcus

    I believe that this is the kind of guy who would the buy the Lemon Special

    K Marcus, just saw this post for the first time right now. I’m gonna nip off and shoot myself to spare me the reminder I ever watched something like that. Nice knowing you chaps(etts)!

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