All Hail The Pigs

Guest Article: Follow the Pigs

Guest Article: Follow the Pigs

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@Harminator just submitted this little gem of a tale. It is too timely not to share with Paris-Roubaix looming.

VLVV, Gianni

I imagine that some people who decide to fly 17000kms to watch a bike race might plan every little thing down to the finest detail. We didn’t. We believe in the maxim that the best adventures are planned on the back of an envelope. All we had was a vision of standing drunk beside an ancient cobbled farm track as the cream of cycling’s hardmen suffered past in clouds of dust and pulverized cow manure. How that might eventuate was clearly filed under “fuck knows”.

And on the Seventh Day our approach was vindicated. Despite several campervan near-misses, we made it to the austere town of Orchies. But finding the town does not equate to finding the obscure cobbled farm track and our pidgin French was only un petit-peu helpful. It was then that the powerful tradition of Paris-Roubaix came to our aid – in the form of the pig. Two pigs actually. About 5 meters tall, dressed like farm folk and being wheeled through the streets. For a moment we stood there perplexed until it dawned on me that on That Sunday, in that town there could be only one explanation.

“Follow the Pigs!” I half shouted. And we did. And yea! They did lead us to the cobbles of Orchies. And the beer tent. And the frites. All hail the pigs!

And a couple of hours later I was standing drunk beside an ancient cobbled farm track when Turgot and Tommeke and JVS powered past in a cloud of dust and pulverized cow manure: Past the giant pigs standing sentinel to the cobbles of Orchies: Past two heaving lines of temporary maniacs swept up in a bona fide celebration of cycling. In that moment I became a true follower.

// Guest Article // Reverent

  1. Thanx for sharing this. Making note on a napkin to only allow plans on the back of an envelope — seriously.

  2. And here I thought this was going to be about those of us riding Hampstens….

  3. Awesome tale.  I may have to follow the pigs to the pig farm tomorrow.

  4. Freakin’ awesome story. Only something that tastes as good as a pig could provide such guidance in a time of need. (re: tasting good, not those ones of course).

  5. @teleguy57 titanium, gruppo, cables perfectly framing the head badge, proper depth of field,  – gorgeous bike photo marred only by the handlebar dingleberry – the black on your left/belgian bar tape wrap needs some attention. Germany looks fine.

    And now I have an odd craving for bacon. Not that there’s anything odd about craving bacon.

  6. @teleguy57

    And here I thought this was going to be about those of us riding Hampstens….

    That would be following the boar, n’est pas?

  7. Let’s not start a boar war….

    Beautiful succinct article.

  8. @DeKerr

    @teleguy57 titanium, Gruppo, cables perfectly framing the head badge, proper depth of field, – gorgeous bike photo marred only by the Handlebar Dingleberry – the black on your left/belgian bar tape wrap needs some attention. Germany looks fine.

    And now I have an odd craving for bacon. Not that there’s anything odd about craving bacon.

    It was fixed after this photo; first rev of build and I was eager to get it out to tune my position.  I LOVE THIS BIKE!

    mmmmm, bacon.  There is a Nueske company store about 90 minutes north of here in a little town named Wittenberg where they have they started and still run the company.  They have a case in the back room with bacon “seconds,” what is second about it I’ve yet to figure out.  Five pound packages for $22!!!

  9. @frank

    @teleguy57

    And here I thought this was going to be about those of us riding Hampstens….

    That would be following the boar, n’est pas?

    Peut-etre; I think Steve  and Andy would phrase it as “chasing the  cinghiale.”

  10. @teleguy57 Cinghiale is so fucking delicious.

    And check out that clearance.

  11. Fantastic read @harminator. So stoked for Sunday, and jealous that you’ve actually been there.

  12. It is very, very cool to have such tales out of fellow enthusiasts.

    Thank you for traveling, thank you for giving it a go out there, and thank you for all the fun around here, Keepers!

    Onwards to the Queen of the Classics!

  13. Legendary tale! Wonder if the pigs  were there in 1981 to inspire The Badger to use pigs to describe the PR he just rode?

  14. @teleguy57 Nice taping job

  15. Nice one, puts us in the proper mood! I am so stoked for this race, got back from this mornings effort and tried to find the live feed, bummed that its tomorrow…

  16. Reading of the prior KT’s and stories such as this one bring these races to life so much more than random cow or horse sightings on the cyclingnews live feed.  Too many bad bacon jokes… But good intuition to follow the hogs.

  17. Hmmmmm bacon sarnies!

  18. @DeKerr

    @teleguy57 titanium, Gruppo, cables perfectly framing the head badge, proper depth of field, – gorgeous bike photo marred only by the Handlebar Dingleberry – the black on your left/belgian bar tape wrap needs some attention. Germany looks fine.

    The camera could have been a few inches to the right, so the seat post lined up with the stem. But now I’m just nit pixeling.

  19. Those pigs are pretty scary. Like something out of Orwell, but with tits

  20. You’re lucky you didn’t end up at a Pink Floyd show.

  21. That pig is going to haunt my dreams!!

  22. Yes! Finally someone writes about super tape.

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