V-Kit: Zwarte, Witte, Winter

V-Kit: Zwarte, Witte, Winter

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When we designed the V-Kit in the winter of 2010, we thought we’d arrived at the ultimate Velominatus look. But, as it turns out, Spinal Tap Black isn’t for everyone. Apparently, not every climate is like that of the Pacific Northwest, where a heat advisory is issued when the mercury hits 30C (85F) and businesses close when it dips below 0C (32F). Evidently, some places get a touch warmer and colder than that.

Just like having a perfectly curated stable of bicycles ready for each and every possible weather condition, year-round Rule #9 Cycling Awesomeness requires the kit to support it. Which meant that we needed to expand our kit options. With each season comes a different array of requirements. With each climate comes a different set of boundary conditions. Each requires a different bit of kit, and all of it needs to be Rule compliant (though the very fact that any of this is being discussed begs the question whether Rule #5 isn’t being violated in heaps) not to mention that every bit should work in perfect harmony with every other bit.

It is with this objective in mind that we present you with three lines of Velominati V-Kit, Zwarte, Witte, and Winter. (I’m disappointed that Dutch doesn’t have a more exotic word for “Winter” than “Winter”.  For the Love of Merckx, would it kill us to put a “V” in there somewhere?)

The obvious place to start is with the easy stuff. The first addition to the V-Kit family was the Long Sleeve V-Jersey, which was released earlier this year; a no-brainer, really. Next came the Obey the Rules Arm Warmers released in the Spring, an even less-brainer than the LS V-Jersey. Based on the realization that there is nothing more disappointing than covering up that beautiful V-Cog on your chest with a garish YJA when the weather turns unexpectedly nippy, we now have the V-Gillet; an uninsulated lightweight wind & waterproof vest that stuffs down for easy storage in your jersey pocket.

Then things got complicated, and leave it to KRX-10, our genius V-Designer, to ask distressing questions that reveal how poorly thought-out our concepts were. Why were we offering a second kit, aside from the obvious reason that the community is asking for it. What was the purpose of a white kit? Would it be a revision of the black, or is it an entirely new design?  How would it relate to the overall identity of Velominati? How would it work with the existing V-Bibs? Would we make adjustments to the black V-Kit to better support the white? Would we add V-Bibs specifically designed for the white V-Jersey? Would we only offer them in defined configurations, or would we design it with the flexibility to mix and match? Finally – and perhaps most importantly, what would we call it?

Obviously, the answer to the above questions are somewhere between “9” and “yes”. An all-white V-Jersey is paired to all-black V-Bibs in what we are calling the Witte V-Kit. While the black Witte V-Bibs* are designed to go with the white Witte V-Jersey, they look smashing with the original (now re-named) Zwarte V-Jersey; the women have been rocking this combination all season with the Women’s V-Shorts. Conversely, the Witte V-Jersey looks dapper as fuck with the original Zwarte V-Bibs.

We leave you with the choice: Zwarte, Witte, Winter. However you choose, choose wisely and choose carefully. Place your order by midnight on September 15 for the next V-Kit shipment, scheduled to arrive in early November. If you have already ordered the V-Kit and would like to switch your order to the Witte Kit, please contact us.

 

*Please don’t attempt to distract us with the observation that “Witte” is the Dutch word for “White” and that the Witte V-Bibs are, in fact, black. They are named in parity with the intended full kit, not individually.

// Kit // La Vie Velominatus

  1. @Ron
    They don’t have ‘cross racing in Sea-town. They think they do, but the only real ‘cross action is here in Stumptown. And Belgium.

  2. This is how we roll ‘cross round here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tqWqVX46WU

    And (this will probably get me a lifetime ban from VM for all the rule violations and just posting it):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0_GbPVkv9k

  3. @frank

    @Nate

    @RedRanger
    We should be happy with a non-Castelli cap. I have one, and I think it’s been discussed in these pages previously, but the Castelli caps are quite Out of Dish as the brim is too big. I.e. they are too much like Chiappucci’s ill-fitting lid, not enough like Big Mig’s impeccable style.

    Again, I’ll point you to the Pro line. Castelli makes a cap which is complete shit. They also make a cap which is the cat’s cock. That is the one we would have made, but The V-Mom cap is looking more like the ticket at the moment.

    Is that supposed to be a link for the v mom cap? It’s not working.

  4. @Hanneke

    frank:
    Swarte didn’t look right but I figured I was wrong after typing Swarte into Google and not getting an alternative suggestion. Knowing K-Dog, he was probably deliberately trying to get under my skin by using the “dirty” Dutch (Afrikaans) and I was too dense to notice.

    It’s funny how when you’re working on something letters and numbers stop looking like letters and numbers are start to just look like symbols. I was just walking by the grocery store and there was a girl outside popping those letters and numbers onto the big sign above the store, with the big long suction cup stick thing to put the letters/numbers up.

    She stops me and asks, “Does the ‘4’ go that way?” and points up at the sign to where she had the number 4 pointing to the right instead of the left. My first thought was, “Are you illiterate?” but then I realized she’d just gotten to the point where none of what she was looking at looked like letters or numbers…all just squiggly lines.

    Now I blame this condition, and not K-Dog, for my screwing up the word Zwarte.

    @RedRanger
    No links.

  5. @scaler911
    Oh scaler you ain’t seen nothin man. Ever been to Burning Man?

  6. @pakrat

    @scaler911
    Oh scaler you ain’t seen nothin man. Ever been to Burning Man?

    Yes I have. But figured that’s not really cycling related. Not that the Cross Crusade here is either.

  7. @frank
    Most excellent news.

  8. Is this the shit Castelli cap?I was thinking about getting one in white and one in black since I’ve ordered the white kit. But if it sucks, I won’t get it.

  9. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    You should get this one:

    I think it would pair well with faux bluejean bibs.

  10. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    I don’t know about that one. It looks a bit off. I am ashamed to admit I got the Tech one. It’s all wrong, as is clear from the photo. Haven’t recently found a cap better than the Campagnolo ones, but it wouldn’t be right to wear that one if’n you don’t run Campa.

  11. @mcsqueak
    No way he needs something like that in Tejas.

  12. @frank

    True that. Just got my Castelli Cervelo Test Team cap in the mail today. Nothing but the tits

  13. @mrwiggs

    @RedRanger
    We should be happy with a non-Castelli cap. I have one, and I think it’s been discussed in these pages previously, but the Castelli caps are quite Out of Dish as the brim is too big. I.e. they are too much like Chiappucci’s ill-fitting lid, not enough like Big Mig’s impeccable style.
    Again, I’ll point you to the Pro line. Castelli makes a cap which is complete shit. They also make a cap which is the cat’s cock. That is the one we would have made, but The V-Mom cap is looking more like the ticket at the moment.

    @frank
    True that. Just got my Castelli Cervelo Test Team cap in the mail today. Nothing but the tits

  14. @mcsqueak @Nate
    In January and February. Maybe.

    I whine like a spoiled brat when the temp gets under 10C.

    Rule #9 is all about heat and humidity here. Heat index has been around 40C since I can’t remember when. It’s 5am right now and the heat index is 30C. The chickens are laying hard boiled eggs.

  15. @scaler911
    Please. Everyone. Enough with the Videos. Performance was cute. But these things you can’t un – see. When I’m a burnt out ex velominati living on the street, juggling unicycles and licking cycling caps for a buzz I’ll blame you, Scaler. I’ll blame you.

  16. @Nate
    The Campagnolo caps rock. But I am running Dura-Ace on my LOOK. What I really need is a LOOK cap. I can’t find one.

    Here’s another Castelli cap. The color looks Dutch Monkey orange to me. But the bill still looks too long. And the price costs an arm and a leg.

  17. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @mcsqueak @Nate
    In January and February. Maybe.
    I whine like a spoiled brat when the temp gets under 10C.
    Rule #9 is all about heat and humidity here. Heat index has been around 40C since I can’t remember when. It’s 5am right now and the heat index is 30C. The chickens are laying hard boiled eggs.

    Rule V. Seriously, Dude. This is why you’re a broken nation.

    Up here in the Great White North, we do summer at 40 with the humidex, and will get down to -20 come January. And I’ll ride. And I won’t go claiming Rule #9 every twenty minutes. I’ll just ride. I suspect Marko can relate…

  18. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    If only you could find a repro La Vie Claire cap.

  19. @Minion

    @scaler911
    Please. Everyone. Enough with the Videos. Performance was cute. But these things you can’t un – see. When I’m a burnt out ex velominati living on the street, juggling unicycles and licking cycling caps for a buzz I’ll blame you, Scaler. I’ll blame you.

    Ya. Cross season gets a little out of control here. I don’t race ‘cross, but I do try and go watch a couple races a season.

  20. @Steampunk
    I know you guys in the Great White North are hard as nails. Or, at least I’ve read about it (I just finished Le Metier). But, and I know I don’t describe it well, there is a quality of air in Houston that just can’t be explained. It has a lot to do with the delightful, piquant taste of benzene. And the mold that grows everywhere. And the heat that radiates from every surface–the roads and sidewalks, the buildings, the cars–even the trees are still warm to the touch at 5am. And there is never much more than a breeze to take any of it away. It’s not even a breeze really. It’s more like a hot, garlic, coffee, and cigarette breath. And then it’s still again. It just lingers. And you can’t get away.

  21. Uh, Nate…what was that you said?

    http://www.prendas.co.uk/details.asp?typ=tea&fkid=39&ID=2209

    Those lads have pretty much all our Velominati Awesome Old School kit needs covered. I actually try to stay off their site or else I could bankrupt not only my Velo-bank but my regular bank account as well. Tons of awesome jerseys and everything else ya need.

  22. Oh, and happy September to all! Our NZed pals have already had most of theirs unfold. I can’t wait for tomorrow, heading home, no more speed walking as my only form of exercise and salvation. Yeehaw.

  23. @Nate
    Ohhhh. That’s a really good idea! I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll start looking.

    Gracias!

  24. @Ron
    AWESOMENESS. Nice. Nice. Nice.

  25. @Ron
    ‘Zactly.

  26. @Ron
    Can’t wait till summer is really over. I just heard on the radio that this summer was the 2nd hottest in the record books.

  27. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Is this the shit Castelli cap?I was thinking about getting one in white and one in black since I’ve ordered the white kit. But if it sucks, I won’t get it.

    That one’s OK, though it’s not the best cap I’ve ever had.

    Here are the bad ones:

    Or this one

    As opposed to this where the visor is the right size.

    And there are more examples. You can tell the visor is too big, as compared to a proper cap.

    By the way, this is also a disaster; hadn’t seen it before. Back in my day, we just lopped off the top of a regular cap and sewed it down crappily. It was class.

  28. @RedRanger

    @Ron
    Can’t wait till summer is really over. I just heard on the radio that this summer was the 2nd hottest in the record books.

    Hold your tongue. We don’t get much of it round these parts and we like to keep it as long as we can. The arm warmers are already coming with on most rides these days.

    @Ron
    Awesome site; I could bankrupt myself on cycling caps. Especially old school ones like those. Too cool for school.

  29. @frank

    @RedRanger

    @RonCan’t wait till summer is really over. I just heard on the radio that this summer was the 2nd hottest in the record books.

    Hold your tongue. We don’t get much of it round these parts and we like to keep it as long as we can. The arm warmers are already coming with on most rides these days.

    Just to make you guys a little more jealous, we’ve just finished winter here in South Australia with an August that had an average daily max temperature of 18C and September has just kicked off with one day at 25 & today’s on its way to 26.

    Can someone say perfect riding weather? Tan lines are already being formed.

  30. Not to get in a pissing match abou the weather but in Southern California it’s almost prfect riding weather year round…When it gets really really cold ( like 65f or so ) I start out with arm warmers but the usually are off by lunch.

    Frank..the cat’s cock? I never heard that. The dogs bollocks yes..but the cats cock. Are cat’s cocks really all that ??

  31. @frank

    @RedRanger

    @Ron
    Can’t wait till summer is really over. I just heard on the radio that this summer was the 2nd hottest in the record books.

    Hold your tongue. We don’t get much of it round these parts and we like to keep it as long as we can. The arm warmers are already coming with on most rides these days.

    After I get my A&P I’m heading up your way to escape this shit. It was well over 41c!

  32. my typing is so not that cats cock.

  33. @paolo

    Frank..the cat’s cock? I never heard that. The dogs bollocks yes..but the cats cock. Are cat’s cocks really all that ??

    And the Dogs Bollocks are all that?

  34. @paolo
    More like you typed with a cat’s cock…

  35. @frank

    @paolo

    Frank..the cat’s cock? I never heard that. The dogs bollocks yes..but the cats cock. Are cat’s cocks really all that ??

    And the Dogs Bollocks are all that?

    They’re probably harder to type with.

  36. Where do the Ducks Nuts fit into all of this?

  37. @frank
    Sherlock Holmes approves the first one.

    @frank

    Hold your tongue. We don’t get much of it round these parts and we like to keep it as long as we can. The arm warmers are already coming with on most rides these days.

    I’m starting to worry about you. Arm warmers in August? Sunny pics, too? By the looks of the White Ladies, they don’t seem to have got much of a tan, either: I’d be very disappointed to learn of any Rule #23 violations…

  38. @frank

    @paolo

    Frank..the cat’s cock? I never heard that. The dogs bollocks yes..but the cats cock. Are cat’s cocks really all that ??

    And the Dogs Bollocks are all that?

    Yeah. They really are.

  39. @G’phant

    @paolo More like you typed with a cat’s cock…

    I did….so fucking small..and he wriggles a lot.

  40. @mouse

    The drakes face probably.

  41. I apologise to the keepers for bringing this thread down to base animal porn. I blame the metric century today and hydrating on alcohol. g’night.

  42. @paolo
    Well played mi amici.
    Thanks for making me look an idiot breaking out in laughter on a crowded train.

  43. Just so you know, in dutch adjectives often are declined differently according to use, with a base word and a suffix (often ending in ‘e’ (always?)) attached when the adjective is put in front of a noun. E.g. in dutch the base word for “white” is “wit” (“het is wit” / “it is white”), and ‘-te’ added for prefixing nouns (“de witte trui” / “the white jersey”).

    Basically, the word for “white” is “wit”. Similarly, the dutch for black is “zwart”, declined to “zwarte” when prefixed to nouns. And the title should maybe be “Zwart, wit, winter”. ;)

    Apologies for being a language dick.

  44. @Paul Jakma
    inspiring work, I assume you are Dutch

  45. @Paul Jakma
    Precisely right, mate, which is why we are calling it Zwarte, Witte, Winter: Zwarte Kit, Witte Kit, Winter Kit.

    So long as you’re being a dick about anything- language, cycling, nationalities, you’ll fit in well here. It’s 99% of what we do. We just try to be funny dicks. Welcome.

  46. @Dr C

    @Paul Jakma
    inspiring work, I assume you are Dutch

    Must be. Which is the equivalent of saying he’s awesome.

  47. @frank

    Well, I was cycling to school on my own at around age 6, on fietspaden, so I’m a bit dutch, yes. Though, now when I go back to visit family, it’s obvious my spoken dutch is quite rusty and doesn’t flow well, and, sadly, I even have a bit of a foreigners accent. ;)

  48. Ordered more v-kit… Heading to the plasma center to pay for it…

  49. The weather here in central NC has changed just enough that I can feel & sense fall is on the way. Last night was out riding & the sky told me autumn was on the way. The cool thing is that I actually have such nice fall/winter gear that I’m looking forward to cool, wet riding. (I know I’ll regret this soon enough, but oh well.) That’s one reason to outfit yourself with nice kit.

    Gotta get in shape for cx racing though. Five weeks off the bike the past two months. I’m really going to work hard this month, see if I can snap myself into decent form.

  50. @Paul Jakma

    @frank
    Well, I was cycling to school on my own at around age 6, on fietspaden, so I’m a bit dutch, yes. Though, now when I go back to visit family, it’s obvious my spoken dutch is quite rusty and doesn’t flow well, and, sadly, I even have a bit of a foreigners accent. ;)

    Spent the weekend at home with my parents; while I speak so much English at home these days, I still dream and think in Dutch, so that helps me keep my Dutch OK, though my written Dutch, because I virtually NEVER do it, is almost lost.

    But coming back home, I”m finding myself speaking Dutch to the VMH, which doesn’t work. Those wires cross back quickly. But my Dutch is antiquated as well, when I go back, I get made fun of for speaking 70’s Dutch.

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