Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

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In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

// Racing

  1. @seemunkee

    I’d have to agree with you to a certain extent there but if you think about it Morris dancers might not dish out lashing of The V, there are aspects of what they do that you might find you have in common with them; they practice a pastime that many of their friends and colleagues find rather odd, they don outfits that cause bystanders to question their masculinity but for them is the subject of a strict code and they drink nothing but ale. Not to mention that they treat their traditions with a similar reverence that we reserve for the Classics.

    At the end of the day these traditional dances are about war and sex. It’s a bit like the Kiwi’s Haka but for those that are comfortable within themselves.

  2. Are you saying that we Kiwis aren’t comfortable within ourselves?

  3. Judging by the face pulling and look how hard I am strutting that goes on during the Haka, no. But going by some of the flowing locks sported by recent All Blacks and the fact that the national game is the the real Rugby unlike your neighbours, it’s probably a yes.

  4. @Marcus and Frank

    Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.

    Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

    Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.

    Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.

    I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

  5. @zalamanda
    I stand corrected.

    Unlike today’s stage, carnage.

    My question on the whole Austrailia thing (and with great respect, as I have chewed dirt next to those hard asses) is where do The Wiggles fit in all this? I mean, it is a wiggly wiggly world!

    Does Wiggy know?

  6. @zalamanda

    @Dan_R
    now that I’m caffeinated, I have to correct you. It wasn’t the Scotch per se that invented the ghilli suit it was Scottish poachers as it was the only way of blatting bambi off the lairds property and getting away with it.

    Ghillie is also term for a gamekeeper or hunting/fishing guide. My understanding is it was developed by the gamekeepers to help them culling deer.

  7. @Dan_R

    @zalamanda
    I stand corrected.
    Unlike today’s stage, carnage.
    My question on the whole Austrailia thing (and with great respect, as I have chewed dirt next to those hard asses) is where do The Wiggles fit in all this? I mean, it is a wiggly wiggly world!
    Does Wiggy know?

    In all the time I spent watching tv early in the morning in Sydney with my daughter I don’t recall any cycling based story lines. What’s more they seem to have diversified into Rule #58 contravention in the UK with this so I suspect there is some sort of subliminal Anti V message being beamed at the kids.

  8. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Ahah, ciao Jeff, you are right!

  9. @Chris
    Fuckall, that’s some funny stuff!

    http://youtu.be/RZjLATAUwao

    I tihnk we need to come up with a Velominati routine involving V-Kit and Silca frame pumps. Great post-ride activity for Cogals!

  10. @Chris
    Good god there better be massive amounts of ale involved.

  11. @sgt
    With helmets, of course. I’m a bit nervous about dancing with cycling shoes on, though.

  12. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Ya pansy…

  13. @sgt

    @Chris
    Fuckall, that’s some funny stuff!
    http://youtu.be/RZjLATAUwao
    I tihnk we need to come up with a Velominati routine involving V-Kit and Silca frame pumps. Great post-ride activity for Cogals!

    Frank was talking about a Velominati cross team, that would fuck with the oposition on the start line. No warm up on the rollers for the Keepers!

    @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Rule #69 old chap, dancing shoes only please!

  14. @ChrisO

    @Marcus and Frank
    Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.
    Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
    Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.
    Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.
    I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    And clearer still; Since the 1998 “Good Friday” peace agreement, citizens of Northern Ireland can refer to themselves as British, even though they are not. And I always thought that Wales is a “principality”. Hence the heir apparent is alwas the “prince of wales”. Now…on with the cycling.

  15. @G’phant
    (SSSSHHHHHHHH! They don’t seem to have noticed that we’ve already taken over the Gold Coast…)

  16. @ChrisO

    @Marcus and Frank
    Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.
    Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
    Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.
    Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.
    I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.

    One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It’s a beautiful thing.

  17. @frank

    @ChrisO

    @Marcus and FrankJust to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.
    One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It’s a beautiful thing.

    And for all those countries, Great Britain has now founded a cycling team with Bradley Wiggins as a GC hope. HaHaHa.

  18. @frank
    @ChrisO
    Oh yes, and that particular cycling team called Sky is ultimately owned by the second-most famous Australian-turned-American in the world (Mel Gibson is the most famous).

  19. @Marcus

    Yes and it even managed to employ some Aussies… I mean it’s not like they have their own team is it ;-)

  20. @ChrisO

    @Marcus
    Yes and it even managed to employ some Aussies… I mean it’s not like they have their own team is it ;-)

    If the rugby sports reporting in some of the Australian papers is anything to go by it wouldn’t surprise me if the British members of the team never get a mention or the team is described as being Australian.

  21. @Marcus

    @frank @ChrisO Oh yes, and that particular cycling team called Sky is ultimately owned by the second-most famous Australian-turned-American in the world (Mel Gibson is the most famous).

    @ChrisO

    @Marcus
    Yes and it even managed to employ some Aussies… I mean it’s not like they have their own team is it ;-)

    And we wonder why a Kiwi gets upset when we asked if they are an Aussie – when Aus tries to become friends with USA by inviting Oprah round for a free holiday…. that said, Nathan Outteridge is an extremely nice chap (I suspect he is a really Kiwi)

    Anyway, we know you are only joshing, and the Ashes was really a gift to the English…..

  22. bit too much of this going on yesterday – did Tomeke make the start line for today? – he looked on a fuckload of pain yesterday

    is that Cav in the picture foreground?

  23. @Dr C

    and the Ashes was really a gift to the English…..

    a gift they keep on giving. They certainly didn’t fight for it!

  24. I dare them to take on the Irish at Cricket….

  25. @ChrisO
    GreenEdge buddy – they have a CEO who is so hard he is a VEO (mike McKay). And over half the Australian population couldn’t give a fuck about rugby.

  26. @Msrcus

    Why are you now Msrcus ?

    Yes I know Green Edge but at the same time a year ago Pegasus was on the way and it turned out to be as mythical as the original.

    Continuing the classical theme… a little less hubris would do the Aussie image some good after that debacle :-) They should learn from Sky who came in waving their swords and found they were at a gunfight.

    And to be fair, more than half the English and Scots couldn’t give a fuck about rugby either, and I suspect quite a lot of Irish too. Rugby is probably comparable to football/soccer in Australia. It’s League in the north and football everywhere. As in Oz, rugby is predominantly a middle class and localised sport.

    The Welsh are the only ones who really care on a national scale, apart from the Kiwis.

  27. Ooh ooh ooh … I’ve moved up a level. I was wondering how bloody long I had to serve my time on level 2.

    Maybe I should be going for the intermediate sprints.

  28. @ChrisO
    Well done ChrisO – dogged persistence pays dividends – Green Jersey for you next

    Au contriare on the Irish Rugby thing, it is the only thing we care about, as we are shit all use at anything else internationally (apart from fishing and rolling stones down country lanes in Cork)

  29. @Dr C

    I was less sure about the Irish. I know rugby has some massive strongholds but was wondering if a substantial part of the population, if not a majority, might care more for Gaelic football ? Particularly in some parts of the country ?

    Pretty much everywhere rugby union is played it seems to compete as the second or a localised/stratified game rather than the main national sport. Apart from Wales and Kiwiland.

    Doctoral thesis in there somewhere.

  30. @frank
    @all

    So far, this seemingly innocent T-Bone post has brought on history lessons, treatises on sport and a high degree of nationalistic fervor. However, the question of “Who Has The Best Country?” cannot be answered on the road, nor by any sort of geo-political measure.

    That’s right, there is only truly global (and beyond) competition. To that end I give you Scherri-Lee Biggs – Australia’s newly crowned contender for this year’s Miss Universe title.

    Do the Brits submit a Miss England, GB or UK??

    I know this breaks the rules on bikini photo posting – but rules are there to be broken Frank.

  31. @Marcus
    This isn’t a bikini posting; it is a piece of biological art. WOW!

  32. @Marcus
    Oi Oi Oi!

  33. @Marcus
    I had no idea what the Commonwealthians were getting on about in this thread and chalked it up to envy of our independence from the crown. This, however, I can understand.

  34. Scherri-Lee ?

    Family name is it ?

    Australia… Essex in sovereign-nation form.

  35. @Marcus
    how very Australian of you

    sadly nothing in league to offer you from the Emerald Isle

  36. @Marcus
    Australia. Fuck Yeah!

  37. @ChrisO

    Scherri-Lee ?
    Family name is it ?
    Australia… Essex in sovereign-nation form.

    Seriously, you’re commenting on her name?

  38. @ChrisO

    Sounds more American trailer park to me,

    @Marcus

    You only needed to say we’ve got Kylie for the win!

  39. @mouse

    Sorry, very superficial of me. I’ll comment on her ass instead ;-)

  40. All this rampant xenophobia is getting a bit weird and boring now isn’t it?

  41. @frank

    @ChrisO

    @Marcus and FrankJust to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.
    One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It’s a beautiful thing.

    Actually, Wales is not included into England (especially these days). The Welsh, like the English, are a distinct national identity, with a seperate language, cultural and historical tradition. True, Wales was occupied by the Crown, but not exterminated or assimilated into England. These days, Cymru (Wales) has devolved self-government. Welsh is spoken as a first language by more than a quarter of the population. They are not English.

  42. @Marcus
    Your question aroused my curiosity so I have conducted some research. I can confirm that GB does indeed put forward candidates for this competition. And further (for Dr C) so does Ireland. I won’t post photos for fear of incurring the wrath of Merckx (or at least frank) but I’m sure you’ll be able to validate my findings.

    Now I’m off for hill repeats and an ice bath.

  43. I just found out that a young bloke from my local footy club goes out with Scherri-Lee – ergo Australian Rules wins

  44. @ChrisO
    Gaelic games thing is a very traditional parish based exercise, where players always play for their town and county, with no transfers etc – steeped in history and tradition, and not necessarily crossing the…ahemm.. boundaries some chose to lay down

    Rugby, when it is going well, and we have a champagne team at the moment (by Northern Hemisphere standards anyway), transcends all that social stuff, and football is an English/ Scottish thing, so Rugby is the prime Irish product at the moment, apart from Rory McIlroy, and I believe the volleyball team who are in the quarter final of some big competition somewhere

    Otherwise most our superstars seem to be (well, in the North anyway) alcoholic lunatics with their finger always within touching distance of the big red self destruct button, and best allowed to fade into the past

    @Oli
    maybe best thought of as exploratory international dialogue

  45. @Dr C

    On the Scottish front, while fitba is undoubtedly the king os sports, there are more cricket clubs per head of population in Scotland than any other part of the UK and more Scots play cricket than Rugby.

  46. @Chris
    get out of here – I would have sworn chucking telegraph poles around was the main thing up thonder

  47. @Dr C

    Seriously dude… it’s a real grass roots thing, loads of village clubs, especially in places like Fife, and after work leagues. If you know The Meadows in Edinburgh, there’ll be three of four games going on there every week day evening in the summer.

    Stick throwing is a strictly highland thing along with Shinty.

  48. An hour or so to the last shuttle launch. Only the Americans managed that.

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