Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

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130 Replies to “Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July”

  1. @snoov
    Nice try Snoov. But you guys are England’s bitch. Didn’t (Aussie) Mel Gibson make a film about you guys and your attempts at Independence?

    Of course this is in stark contrast to countries like Australia who choose to keep the Queen as our head of state. If u don’t know we had a referendum a few years back and decided to keep on the Queen. As far as I can tell the compelling reason for most of us is that we were worried we would lose the Queens birthday public holiday.

    @Durishin
    R u fucking serious? The language around here has never been particularly mature.

  2. @Marcus

    @snoov
    …countries like Australia who choose to keep the Queen as our head of state. If u don’t know we had a referendum a few years back and decided to keep on the Queen…

    That reminds me of the of the old John Howard joke

    Things are a bit rough on the popularity front for John Howard, the chirpy Australian Prime Minister, so one night after a Bundy and Coke too many, he gets on the the phone to the Queen.

    “Your Majesty, mate, I’m sure my ratings would go up if I were King of Australia. It works for you”

    The Queen laughs dismisively and replies, “To be a king one needs a kingdom.”

    Not to be dissuaded, Johnny asks, “In that case could I not be Emperor then?”

    “No, you chubby-faced chap,” snorts the Queen, “to be an Emperor you need an Empire”

    Howard thinks for a moment and then asks if he could be a prince.

    The Queen replies, “Australia is not a principality.”

    Pausing for a sip of her tea, Her Majesty then adds: “To be quite honest, Australia is a Country and we should leave it like that…”

  3. @Chris
    Not bad – but the origin of that joke may have been a true parliamentary quote from PM Gough Whitlam:

    Speaker: “…motion from the Country Member”

    Gough: “yes we remember”

  4. I will say as a Canadian, we are all the spoor of the bloody English. Looking at my scot and irish ancestors on one side and the german and native on the other, fucking hell, we’ve done our share of losing to them. If you can’t beat em, join em.

    And I spent time in a highland regiment, haggis and scotch tastes as good as it sounds, but you consumed it like it was the prom queen. The scots invented the guillie suit.

    Long live the queen, because her son is a wanker. Now, her new granddaughter…

    And I called Tyler on the Fourth! And I don’t see my picks on the VSP standings wtf

  5. @Marcus

    @Chris
    Not bad – but the origin of that joke may have been a true parliamentary quote from PM Gough Whitlam:
    Speaker: “…motion from the Country Member”
    Gough: “yes we remember”

    Nice, we haven’t had charisma in our politics since Trudeau died. Not that I liked the basdard, but he had charisma and he gave ugly guys something to look up to because he tagged a lot of hot tail.

    Damn this stage, get to that last k.

  6. WOW! Top class racing.

    That was insane. I don’t think I breathed for the final 3 km.

    What a great finish, what a great Stage 4. I don’t know if I can keep this up for three more weeks.

    I love seeing Cadel race that hard…and then hearing him talk. Wee voice for a Big Gun.

  7. Awesome, good for Tyler. Even though he wins very few stages I like the guy. I only made it part way though the race yesterday, now I can’t wait to watch the conclusion when I get home tonight.

  8. @Chris

    Ha I heard another version of that one, told by Chick Young who is a sports reporter over here.

    Britain used to be a Kingdom ruled by a King.
    Then Britain was an Empire ruled by an Empress.
    Now it’s just a country.

  9. @snoov

    As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    Indeed. As a Dutchman who takes great offense to the use of the word Holland to describe The Netherlands (even though many Dutch do this themselves and it bothers them none), I would think I’d be more sensitive to that type of thing. I actually spent about 17 seconds pondering if it was England or GB and realized that I couldn’t remember which was the offending term.

  10. @Ron

    We also need a lexicon list entry for the fear/feeling you get when it is the middle of summer and you see your winter riding gear.

    It’s the same feeling I had during summer vacation from school when I’d see a back to school advert.@Oli

    @Durishin
    I’m sadly a loooong way in the wrong direction from being an adolescent, but I’m most definitely unsophisticated. I trust this assists in your understanding of the discussion.

    A+1

  11. From a new pizza place opening in Flagstaff today called Pizzicletta (combination of pizza and bicicletta)

    Also, tomorrow’s pizza special will be the “maillot a pois rouges” (french for red polka dot jersey)- tomato, ricotta, and spicy sopressata. The name is a nod to the King of the Mountains rider in the Tour de France. The ricotta and sopressata also match the polka-dotted patterning, thus the name.

  12. @frank

    @snoov

    As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    Indeed. As a Dutchman who takes great offense to the use of the word Holland to describe The Netherlands (even though many Dutch do this themselves and it bothers them none), I would think I’d be more sensitive to that type of thing. I actually spent about 17 seconds pondering if it was England or GB and realized that I couldn’t remember which was the offending term.

    Depends on the situation – Welsh, Scot, English, Irish (the Protestant ones) all label themselves British when it suits. They all love calling themselves Great Britain come the Olympics (so they can claim 2 extra non-gold medals) and when the “British Lions” play rugby…

  13. Yesterday while I was in the San Francisco harbor looking at the 4th July fireworks I was really, really far from thinking at the Tour, but then when I was returning home on foot, climbing the hills, immediately my legs searched for a pedal but no, no bike for me.
    The image of this post is great for some reasons, first I really like Farrar and second, I think that this Tour is going to give me some satisfactions in terms of results.

    It was great to be here…

  14. @Chris

    You never come across Morris dancers.

    I wish, they have contaminated Massachusetts with their mincing nonsense. Enough I say! Fuck off back to England. Actually these are the worst kind of Morris dancers, they are American’s with delusions of English mincing. Oh the horror.

  15. @Marcus

    @frank

    @snoov

    As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    Indeed. As a Dutchman who takes great offense to the use of the word Holland to describe The Netherlands (even though many Dutch do this themselves and it bothers them none), I would think I’d be more sensitive to that type of thing. I actually spent about 17 seconds pondering if it was England or GB and realized that I couldn’t remember which was the offending term.

    Depends on the situation – Welsh, Scot, English, Irish (the Protestant ones) all label themselves British when it suits. They all love calling themselves Great Britain come the Olympics (so they can claim 2 extra non-gold medals) and when the “British Lions” play rugby…

    You mean like “Australasia”, that team at the Soccer world cup? Where were they from again?

  16. @Marcus

    After your lot got knocked out, and we kept on playing in the tournament, your press ‘renamed’ the NZ soccer team, ‘Australasia’. Jeez, at least keep track of the kiwis you nick and claim as your own.

  17. @minion
    Mate, we’re on slightly shaky ground here. For every Phar Lap, John Clarke and pavlova they’ve nicked there’s a Russell Crowe, Jo Bielke-Peterson and Bondi’s worth of dole bludgers they can keep.

    Then again, they also gave us Brett …

  18. @Dan_R
    now that I’m caffeinated, I have to correct you. It wasn’t the Scotch per se that invented the ghilli suit it was Scottish poachers as it was the only way of blatting bambi off the lairds property and getting away with it.

  19. Had to look up what Morris dancing was. Holy Merckx, talk about the antithesis of the V! Someone needs to take those sticks and knock some sense into those people.

  20. @seemunkee

    I’d have to agree with you to a certain extent there but if you think about it Morris dancers might not dish out lashing of The V, there are aspects of what they do that you might find you have in common with them; they practice a pastime that many of their friends and colleagues find rather odd, they don outfits that cause bystanders to question their masculinity but for them is the subject of a strict code and they drink nothing but ale. Not to mention that they treat their traditions with a similar reverence that we reserve for the Classics.

    At the end of the day these traditional dances are about war and sex. It’s a bit like the Kiwi’s Haka but for those that are comfortable within themselves.

  21. Judging by the face pulling and look how hard I am strutting that goes on during the Haka, no. But going by some of the flowing locks sported by recent All Blacks and the fact that the national game is the the real Rugby unlike your neighbours, it’s probably a yes.

  22. @Marcus and Frank

    Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.

    Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

    Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.

    Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.

    I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

  23. @zalamanda
    I stand corrected.

    Unlike today’s stage, carnage.

    My question on the whole Austrailia thing (and with great respect, as I have chewed dirt next to those hard asses) is where do The Wiggles fit in all this? I mean, it is a wiggly wiggly world!

    Does Wiggy know?

  24. @zalamanda

    @Dan_R
    now that I’m caffeinated, I have to correct you. It wasn’t the Scotch per se that invented the ghilli suit it was Scottish poachers as it was the only way of blatting bambi off the lairds property and getting away with it.

    Ghillie is also term for a gamekeeper or hunting/fishing guide. My understanding is it was developed by the gamekeepers to help them culling deer.

  25. @Dan_R

    @zalamanda
    I stand corrected.
    Unlike today’s stage, carnage.
    My question on the whole Austrailia thing (and with great respect, as I have chewed dirt next to those hard asses) is where do The Wiggles fit in all this? I mean, it is a wiggly wiggly world!
    Does Wiggy know?

    In all the time I spent watching tv early in the morning in Sydney with my daughter I don’t recall any cycling based story lines. What’s more they seem to have diversified into Rule #58 contravention in the UK with this so I suspect there is some sort of subliminal Anti V message being beamed at the kids.

  26. @sgt

    @Chris
    Fuckall, that’s some funny stuff!
    http://youtu.be/RZjLATAUwao
    I tihnk we need to come up with a Velominati routine involving V-Kit and Silca frame pumps. Great post-ride activity for Cogals!

    Frank was talking about a Velominati cross team, that would fuck with the oposition on the start line. No warm up on the rollers for the Keepers!

    @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Rule #69 old chap, dancing shoes only please!

  27. @ChrisO

    @Marcus and Frank
    Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.
    Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
    Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.
    Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.
    I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    And clearer still; Since the 1998 “Good Friday” peace agreement, citizens of Northern Ireland can refer to themselves as British, even though they are not. And I always thought that Wales is a “principality”. Hence the heir apparent is alwas the “prince of wales”. Now…on with the cycling.

  28. @ChrisO

    @Marcus and Frank
    Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.
    Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
    Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.
    Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.
    I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.

    One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It’s a beautiful thing.

  29. @frank

    @ChrisO

    @Marcus and FrankJust to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

    Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.
    One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It’s a beautiful thing.

    And for all those countries, Great Britain has now founded a cycling team with Bradley Wiggins as a GC hope. HaHaHa.

  30. @frank
    @ChrisO
    Oh yes, and that particular cycling team called Sky is ultimately owned by the second-most famous Australian-turned-American in the world (Mel Gibson is the most famous).

  31. @ChrisO

    @Marcus
    Yes and it even managed to employ some Aussies… I mean it’s not like they have their own team is it ;-)

    If the rugby sports reporting in some of the Australian papers is anything to go by it wouldn’t surprise me if the British members of the team never get a mention or the team is described as being Australian.

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