Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

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130 Replies to “Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July”

  1. @ marko

    I can just see Vaughters talking to Stapleton afterwards: “Dude. If I’m here, and you’re here, doesn’t that make it our race?”

  2. I believe I heard on Eurosport that Farrar is now the 1st American to win a stage in all three GTs.

    Sitting here finishing off a Harpoon IPA. Happy 4th, all!

  3. @Mikeweb
    Not quite. Dave Zabriskie holds that honor. Tyler Hamilton *did* hold the honor until that whole blood doping hammer smashed his results.

  4. Tucson had 81 days without precipitation until today. Maybe I will get to Rule #9 it before work tomorrow.

  5. It’s surprising that Cavendish still ended up in fifth place.

    Did someone forget to tell him the direction of the finish line? Or maybe he was boxed in until the very end.

    I think I saw Dean or one of the others on an S5. It was hard to tell with the chunky as stew 1995-era video compression that I paid $15 for on my iPad. Last year’s app was much clearer and let me watch full length replays even months later.

    At any rate, cheers to the G-C team!

  6. @Collin

    @SpriderWith you 100% Sprider. DZ has had good results all year, so hopefully he can jump onto the podium.

    Would he get a yellow pillow?

  7. Here’s something to ponder – while we all vie for glory in the VSP, I dream of the day where the Velominati sponsor a pro team. Yes, that right – Frank hit will hhe right mix, and discovers income in the 15M euro range. Hey, if those knucklheads over at Facebook can hit it, why not a modest little site devoted to the glory of whiling metal bits.

    To this end, how would the Keepers pick their team? Well, lotsa smart people around here (And yes, maybe a few smart asses too; of which I proudly call myself a member) so it seems odd we couldn’t come up with a…process…for coming up with a hardness scale. A Mohs rating, if you will, for the hardmen. No, not just results. That’s all too easy. Witness today the Yellow Jersey leading out for a teammate for the win. And just how fucking tough is Prince Harry when Cav gets all the winning glory? Lest you doubt, say one word: Jens.

    Gotta be a way to automate this. Get a list of active riders. Velominatus get votes to cast. Tally the results. That way Frank will have a draft order for his team. And all the Keepers celebrate on the Champs.

    As Merckx is my witness, may I live to see the spectacle.

  8. Just got to watch the finish… Check out Thor’s reax… Class, class, class.

  9. Gotta say I was a little down on Thor after sucking Fabians wheel the whole way at Paris Roubaix. He sure showed some serious class today.

    I still want to see one of the riders or a drunk mechanic slip into Vaughters room some night and shave those ridiculous sideburns off his face, do the eyebrows while they are there, and cut off all those damn turtlenecks from the shirts he wears.

  10. I have one small correction to make regarding the USA and her independence, in the spirit of understanding and knowledge of history (which is important on this site).

    The DoI declared independence from Great Britain not England. As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    However, we as a nation have contributed a great deal ourselves to cycling, here is a small list:

    1 Tarmac, invented by John Macadam, Ayr, Scotland.
    2 Pneumatic Tyres, invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Dreghorn, Scotland.
    3 Bicycle (modern), invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Dumfries, Scotland.

    I’m not sure but I think the breech-loading rifle, which was instrumental in the war of independence being won by the US, was also invented by a Scot.

    Ah well that’s me said my piece, hopefully the sun will be out again today and I can continue the work on my first set of razor sharp tan lines :)

  11. @snoov

    As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    Very honorable (as always with the Scottish) admission – I for one shall make a point of holding your people in a lesser regard (even on Six Nations days) in future

  12. speaking of DZ, does he still have his dastardly chin twizzler or has he shaved? @snoov you have to refer to yourself as Scotch that way the Yanks can understand. it’s not Edinburgh but Eedinberg etc…

  13. @snoov

    I have one small correction to make… …us Scots… …deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    As an Englishman, I’m afraid I must take issue with this. It is well known that of all the Brits it was the Scots who were the rampant colonisers. That is why, wherever you go in the world you will find someone stood on a street corner, open air shopping centre or tourist attraction playing the bagpipes. As a nation the Scots are second only in this respect to the Peruvians. You never come across Morris dancers.

  14. @Chris

    @snoov

    I have one small correction to make… …us Scots… …deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    As an Englishman, I’m afraid I must take issue with this. It is well known that of all the Brits it was the Scots who were the rampant colonisers. That is why, wherever you go in the world you will find someone stood on a street corner, open air shopping centre or tourist attraction playing the bagpipes. As a nation the Scots are second only in this respect to the Peruvians. You never come across Morris dancers.

    Awesome historical observation – always wondered about that
    +1 @Chris

    (I seem to be going for a powerplay on the points allocation, sorry if it f..ks up the rankings – more attention seeking behaviour I suspect)

    Amerikans very quiet…..do you think they might all be asleep – do tend to go to bed very early any time I’ve met one

  15. @Chris

    Good point Chris, I’ve read that the Clan system in Scotland was very similar to the one used in the Americas and so the Scots were far more effective trading or slaughtering than the English.

    A few years back on a winter trip to Canada I joked with a Canadian that us Scots thought of Canada as a far off region of Scotland ;) he wasn’t all that happy and asked me why I though that. I told him that it was cos we’d discovered most of the place which was why there were so many places with Scottish names etc. “Like what?” he enquired. I gave Banff as an example, he challenged me with, “how do you know the one in Scotland wasn’t named after ours?” “On account of it being nearly a thousand years old” I said, “but we probably didn’t name Kicking Horse!” I conceded. Later at the motel my brother and I laughed our asses off when we found out that Kicking Horse was named after a Scot who was kicked by a horse on an expedition to find a pass for a railway :D

    Anyways, I feel I must point out that while I am geographically from Scotland, I like to think of myself as an earthling and I hope to share this planet with all the rocks and plants and creatures as harmoniously as possible.

  16. @Dr C

    @Chris

    @snoov

    I have one small correction to make… …us Scots… …deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    As an Englishman, I’m afraid I must take issue with this. It is well known that of all the Brits it was the Scots who were the rampant colonisers. That is why, wherever you go in the world you will find someone stood on a street corner, open air shopping centre or tourist attraction playing the bagpipes. As a nation the Scots are second only in this respect to the Peruvians. You never come across Morris dancers.

    Awesome historical observation – always wondered about that
    +1 @Chris
    (I seem to be going for a powerplay on the points allocation, sorry if it f..ks up the rankings – more attention seeking behaviour I suspect)
    Amerikans very quiet…..do you think they might all be asleep – do tend to go to bed very early any time I’ve met one

    Milk and cookies does that to you. Warm, flat beer and pork scratchings, on the otherhand is bound to disrupt all but the strongest constitutions.

  17. @Chris

    @snoov

    I have one small correction to make… …us Scots… …deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    You never come across Morris dancers.

    This is not true. For many years every hungover Sunday stroll along the Oriental Bay Parade here in Wellington, New Zealand would be interrupted by the jingling sticks and wildly flung handkerchiefs of the Morris People – at times their to-and-fro “dancing” would block the entire promenade!

  18. Shit beer? I’ll have you know I was drinking the finest from the Genesee River – Genesee Cream Ale cans. I was able to haul back three thirty packs from my trip to the north. And a friend brought leftovers from a recent party he had, Wild Turkey Honey. What the hell is going on with these flavored liquors? There is that Red Stag bullshit these days too. Weird. Of course I had to try it. Not bad, but not good.

    Awesome win for T-Bone. I missed it live. I vow to watch all of today’s racing. The VMH has pulled me away from the finish the past two days.

    Good one, Frank! Hope the Jan Kees all had a good 4th. Enjoy the nice uphill finish today lads.

  19. @snoov

    @Chris

    I hope to share this planet with all the rocks and plants and creatures as harmoniously as possible.

    *$%!ing hippy :)

  20. @Oli

    @Chris

    @snoov

    I have one small correction to make… …us Scots… …deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

    You never come across Morris dancers.

    This is not true. For many years every hungover Sunday stroll along the Oriental Bay Parade here in Wellington, New Zealand would be interrupted by the jingling sticks and wildly flung handkerchiefs of the Morris People – at times their to-and-fro “dancing” would block the entire promenade!

    I had long suspected the Peruvian thing was personal persecution, maybe the pipers as well (I’m sure the same group of Peruvians has targeted me in number of cities in both hemispheres – although oddly enough not in Lima).

    It can’t be that the Morris People are targeting Kiwi’s otherwise they would all be in Earls Court.

  21. They aren’t in Earl’s Court because they are spread all over the rest of the poor, unsuspecting world, prancing and performing their dark deeds.

  22. @Chris

    It can’t be that the Morris People are targeting Kiwi’s otherwise they would all be in Earls Court.

    you’re bit too clever for your own good. That’s a London thing. They wouldn’t get it. I think the Yanks are still asleep or hugging the porcelain phone calling Ralph or Huey.

  23. I’d only seen the last 1k but just watched the final 10 k. WOW! What a crazy finish. They were going full gas the entire time. Talk about just trying to hold on for dear life. It’s incredible how good those dudes are at handling their bikes. Going all out you get that cross-eyed, woozy feeling and yet they are in the middle of ten, twenty, thirty guys and are able to ride full steam and hold their line. Re-spek!

    Who was the 2nd guy leading out T-Bone? Thor &…?

    Awesome to see Thor over Farrar’s shoulder smiling like a kid. You could tell how happy he was for his teammate.

    And, I’m having trouble picking Cavendish out in the pack. He’s so skinny these days I don’t recognize him.

  24. So then, now that I’ve gotten all pessimistic about the GC, what am I looking forward to? Panache, fucktards. I wanna see Faboo tow Frandy through the TTT for Leotard Schleck (thanks Dr C) and then make some perfect amount of dumb remark afterward. I wanna see Cavenisgrowingonmedish win some sprints. I wanna see Farrar beat The Manx Mouth in some sprints or cry trying. I wanna believe in the Rainbow Jersey again. I wanna see if Tomeke still has what it takes. I wanna see Jens hurt EVERYBODY. I wanna see some Russian or Spanish dude I’ve never heard of have the ride of his life and shed some tears on the podium, and I wanna see Gilbert on a long solo break on his birthday get himself a stage win and maybe even the yellow jersey for a bit.

    Only three days in and I’ve already gone five for eight. Vive le Tour!

  25. How old are you gentlemen?

    The language here has taken a decided turn towards the unsophisticated and adolescent.

  26. Oh joy! I have a little ‘3’ inside my cog! Moving the labels on my tyres to be properly centred on my hubs was worth it!

  27. @Ron

    I’ve experienced that woozy feeling as I try to hold on to the rear wheel of my cycling companions as we get close to the end of our rides. I hadn’t realised that everyone gets it – thought I hadn’t eaten the correct combination of velocombustibles.

  28. @Durishin
    I’m sadly a loooong way in the wrong direction from being an adolescent, but I’m most definitely unsophisticated. I trust this assists in your understanding of the discussion.

  29. We also need a lexicon list entry for the fear/feeling you get when it is the middle of summer and you see your winter riding gear.

    When I see my winter tights at the back of my drawer in the middle of July, when it’s 103*F out, I wonder how I ever manage to pull on all that junk – tights, cap, booties – and get out the door. The thought of having to pull on all that stuff makes me want to quit cycling.

  30. @Ron
    And, I’m having trouble picking Cavendish out in the pack. He’s so skinny these days I don’t recognize him.

    That’s because he is wearing a full Fedex sponsored Mark Renshaw Lookalike Fancy Dress Party Skinsuit, head, bike and all, which he bursts out of with about 15 metres to the line – hope that solves the riddle

  31. And how awesome is that photo Frank used?

    T-Bone flashes the W, Feillu clenches his fist, JJ Rojas adjusts his shoe tightness, Hinault hangs his head, Cav sits in, and Thor flashes the pearl whites…

  32. Has anyone else seen the Scott commercial running on Eurosport?

    Do they really mention increasing your average speed? If so, that’s awesome…

    I always choose my next bike based on my avg speed.

  33. @Ron
    Actually, that is Feillu wondering when he dropped his bottle of Tequila

    regarding the Cav question, perhaps this diagram will give you a better understanding, albeit the Renshaw suit was originally a female draft

    it’s actually a little Manxman in there

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