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The Rules Goes on the Road-NYC

The Rules Goes on the Road-NYC

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Here are a few lessons learned while in New York City.

  • I’m sure leaving a bar at one o’clock in the morning is not how the serious riders prepare for a ride with a 9 o’clock morning roll-out. I am sure.
  • Conversational pace for a group ride means different things to different people. Eddy could talk your ear off at 40kph.
  • Lezyne mini-pump owners, listen up. Grease up those aluminum threads on your pump. It’s inflating effectiveness is diminished when the inflator tube is corroded in place and the group disappears up the road.
  • @xyxax is the single best draft I’ve ever hunkered behind, until he wasn’t.
  • Signing books and interacting with strangers is better with pints on the book signing table.

The Rapha store is an excellent place to begin a ride. It’s a killer bike shop with no bikes for sale. Once in the door there are ample places to rack a bike. Behold beautiful espressos, fresh croissants, bike racing projected on a whole wall, seats, tables, a WC, and evidently some nice kit for sale too. They are welcoming to riders who just want to hang out for a coffee and watch a race. Did I mention it has two Belgian-style beers on tap? It is a beautiful place. 

Saturday dawned sunny and warm. The Rapha Club-Velominati Saturday ride was on. Riders assembled, the place filled with carbon wheeled beauties, Rapha clad youth and us. The V-kit stood out in contrast to the understated Rapha colors. I outfitted Frank with the oldest and heaviest bicycle there. It was a thirty year old steel bike with heavy but aero aluminum wheels. The best part was it was geared for Roubaix when we were riding Flanders; it had a 44 tooth inner ring and a mostly inaccessible 23 tooth inner cog on the back. I was hoping it might slow him down but it didn’t, nothing does. 

The ride was awesome. Some of us represented the kit better than others, let us leave it at that. Our Rapha Club leader, Rob, did a beautiful job getting thirty-plus riders out of Manhattan and eventually back, safely. He is a stud. 

The book signing was heart warming; people buying The Rules and us writing something obnoxious in it, for them. Riders were coming into the store and whipping out their copies for us to sign. The New Jersey boys drove two hours to join us on the ride and buy a pile of books. It is simply amazing to me: this Velominati community which has grown across the world, all people who love to ride the bike. To meet some of them at a Keepers Tour, or Cogal or in the Rapha store, it makes this whole endeavor worthwhile. 

The San Francisco Event is happening this weekend and I encourage all nearby to venture into the city for the riding and signing. 

Mr T was bold enough to shoot photos while riding. Grazie for sharing.

Slideshow:
Fullscreen:

// Cogal Report // Defining Moments // La Vie Velominatus // Look Pro // The Rules // The Works

  1. And you managed to not miss the insanity of the 5 Boroughs ride.

  2. Great to finally meet a couple of the wizards behind the curtain.   Plenty of strong riders, looking fantastic.  Double thanks to Rapha Rob for herding cats and pulling us back.

    Gianni, I owe you one.

  3. I’ve been trying to tell all of you lads…New York State has it all! Two Great Lakes, borders another nation, a so-so city, an ocean, a bay, the Finger Lakes Region, some pretty darn good universities, the Erie Canal. I could go on. Oh, great cycling…

    Congratulations to all of you Keepers! You are great cycling ambassadors and I admire you for all of your hard word, dedication, perseverance, and goddamn good senses of humor and love for life.

    Thanks, guys!! You’re true champions and big Kings of the Road!

  4. A great event!

  5. Man, I would’ve loved to have been there (almost was). Thanks to everyone who showed up for what looked like a great ride and event, and to all of our community who have made this a great journey for us.

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    @Timojhen

    A sample of how the actual signing looked. Minus the excellent coffee and loud laughter.

    Great time.

    The picture raises two questions:

    • Was @frank operating at at rate of two pints to @gianni’s half?

    and/or

    • Did @frank bring an extra V-Pint along to ensure that he was Drinking Properly?

    In mitigation though it would appear that @gianni is attempting to maintain some for of Rule #44 adherence even off the bike.

  7. Boy oh boy, what a great day out.  The images say it all, West Side bike path, GW bridge, gravel and no car roads next to the Hudson and a beautiful spring day! Not to mention the signing, Rapha and the Gypsy Doughnut!!

    so wish I could have posted up…

    Gianni – hey I’m impressed your looking fit! So too fearless leader ( but the helmet in store does need explaining or new Rule?). Was there a seatpost competition between Frank, Xyxax and Gianni??

    Congratulations, job well done!

  8. @Gianni So what is wrong with that picture? (In reference to the caption on the main photo).

    I’ve looked several times and don’t see anything – apart from the keyboard stashed somewhat untidily on top of the magazines in the bottom shelf and what may be some of the more questionable items from Rapha’s range.  Don’t get me wrong I love their kit, I’m just less enamoured of the shaving set and leather-bound ride journal end of the spectrum.

  9. @Chris

    @Chris

    The picture raises two questions:

    • Was @frank operating at at rate of two pints to @gianni’s half?

    and/or

    • Did @frank bring an extra V-Pint along to ensure that he was Drinking Properly?

    In mitigation though it would appear that @gianni is attempting to maintain some for of  Rule #44 adherence even off the bike.

    Yes, Frank operates at a pint emptying rate of  N x 2.5 to most humans, or at least me.

    No V pint but that is a good idea. We were both worried about forgetting other important things like cycling shoes.

    I was beer runner. No chance to sit down. And between @xyxax, Frank and myself there is about six meters in height. This furniture is too small.

  10. @ChrisO

    @Gianni So what is wrong with that picture? (In reference to the caption on the main photo).

    I’ve looked several times and don’t see anything – apart from the keyboard stashed somewhat untidily on top of the magazines in the bottom shelf and what may be some of the more questionable items from Rapha’s range. Don’t get me wrong I love their kit, I’m just less enamoured of the shaving set and leather-bound ride journal end of the spectrum.

    To me it was the incongruity between Rapha’s fancy products and our book, which is full of cursing.

  11. @Timojhen  Ha! Timojhen, it was great to meet you.

  12. @Gianni

    @ChrisO

    @Gianni So what is wrong with that picture? (In reference to the caption on the main photo).

    I’ve looked several times and don’t see anything – apart from the keyboard stashed somewhat untidily on top of the magazines in the bottom shelf and what may be some of the more questionable items from Rapha’s range. Don’t get me wrong I love their kit, I’m just less enamoured of the shaving set and leather-bound ride journal end of the spectrum.

    To me it was the incongruity between Rapha’s fancy products and our book, which is full of cursing.

    Rapha elicits cursing by other means – namely by placing their embro and chamois cream in identical packaging.

  13. @seemunkee

    And you managed to not miss the insanity of the 5 Boroughs ride.

    We saw almost no sign of that event at all. Except we did send Frank’s brother-in-law into it with a hangover, or if not a hangover, not feeling superb.

  14. @Marcus

    @frank

    Why the fuck were you wearing a helmet indoors?

    On such a day of days when you are presumably meant to be providing some sort of example, why Frank? Why?

    At least Frank is looking as though he’s zipped himself up properly to neatly display the V-Cog cross the finish line (figuratively speaking) whilst Gianni looks as though he’s just been tipped out of the voiture balai.

  15. @Rob

    Boy oh boy, what a great day out. The images say it all, West Side bike path, GW bridge, gravel and no car roads next to the Hudson and a beautiful spring day! Not to mention the signing, Rapha and the Gypsy Doughnut!!

    so wish I could have posted up…

    Gianni – hey I’m impressed your looking fit! So too fearless leader ( but the helmet in store does need explaining or new Rule?). Was there a seatpost competition between Frank, Xyxax and Gianni??

    Congratulations, job well done!

    I thought of you on that route. It was stunning. Frank still wins the seatpost competition, then @xyxax. I don’t compete in that even, but it was fun to get Frank on the Bella for the bike’s sake. Bella has not been ridden so fast in many years.

  16. Damn, this book signing tour must come south!  Yes, we read fuckers!

  17. Who is responsible for spacing those books in a Rule #27 compliant fashion?

  18. @razmaspaz

    Who is responsible for spacing those books in a Rule #27 compliant fashion?

    Other than the bottom shelf, I’m seeing a whole lot of OCD going on there.

  19. @wiscot

    @razmaspaz

    Who is responsible for spacing those books in a Rule #27 compliant fashion?

    Other than the bottom shelf, I’m seeing a whole lot of OCD going on there.

    Yeah, the whole shop is like that. The manager, who ran the popup store and then was asked to conceptualize and run the NYC brick-and-mortar operation, is cut from the same cloth as the rest of us. Awesome guy.

    I’ve never seen so many expensive bikes in one place, by the way.

  20. @Marcus

    @frank

    Why the fuck were you wearing a helmet indoors?

    On such a day of days when you are presumably meant to be providing some sort of example, why Frank? Why?

    Its a courtesy. I have been taught by all you bald koonts that show up to Keepers Tours and Cogals that my flowing locks, in addition to the Magnificence  of my Guns, is altogether too intimidating Pre-Ride.

    @xyxax

    @Nate

    @cyclewalt Nice.

    Did @frank drool all over those drop in bars on the LeMond?

    He immediately pointed out that the pedals were wrong. I was so proud.

    And it was missing the horizontal slats he put under the tape. And the Scott stickers. And he rode a Regal, not a Rolls. But still, it was cool.

    @brett

    Man, I would’ve loved to have been there (almost was). Thanks to everyone who showed up for what looked like a great ride and event, and to all of our community who have made this a great journey for us.

  21. @frank

    @wiscot

    @razmaspaz

    Who is responsible for spacing those books in a Rule #27 compliant fashion?

    Other than the bottom shelf, I’m seeing a whole lot of OCD going on there.

    Yeah, the whole shop is like that. The manager, who ran the popup store and then was asked to conceptualize and run the NYC brick-and-mortar operation, is cut from the same cloth as the rest of us. Awesome guy.

    I’ve never seen so many expensive bikes in one place, by the way.

    I have to think that Rapha does pretty decent in the profit/sq ft.  department.  In a place like that the empty floor space is just as important as the stuff in the store.

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    Those tires look suspiciously wrong.

  23. When is the book signing in SEATTLE?

  24. The books should be in V stacks not IV.

  25. @Frank

    @brypeter

    When is the book signing in SEATTLE?

    I even know a shop that could host…  ;-)

  26. @Nate

    The books should be in V stacks not IV.

    A most excellent point!

  27. @frank

    @wiscot

    Wow! Sounds like a great event. I had no idea such pretty roads existed close to NYC. Great pictures too – looks like spring is a bit ahead of the midwest. Haven’t bared the arms or full legs yet this year here in WI.

    Now I just have to buy the book . . .

    Seattle is in full bloom as well; the trees have actually lost their blossoms and moved into leaves. I have tan lines. I even got a wee bit of sunburn.

    Meanwhile in these parts, I woke up to a fresh dusting of snow, and windchill to -5C.  Apparently on this day last year it was 27C.  It feels like winter will not give up its grip around these parts.

    Wish I could have been there, and not only for the nice weather.

  28. Ah, this looks loads of fun, congratulations to everyone involved.  A good moment to sit back with the post-ride refreshing beverage and consider what this funny little blog has achieved.

    Remarkable.

  29. @frank

    @Marcus

    @frank

    Why the fuck were you wearing a helmet indoors?

    On such a day of days when you are presumably meant to be providing some sort of example, why Frank? Why?

    Its a courtesy. I have been taught by all you bald koonts that show up to Keepers Tours and Cogals that my flowing locks, in addition to the Magnificence of my Guns, is altogether too intimidating Pre-Ride.

    This is pretty goddamn hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh.

    I was recently decreed as having the nicest locks in the group by my futboling mates. Most are around the same age, some even younger, and I’m the only one with a full head o’ hair.

  30. @Ron

    @frank

    @Marcus

    @frank

    Why the fuck were you wearing a helmet indoors?

    On such a day of days when you are presumably meant to be providing some sort of example, why Frank? Why?

    Its a courtesy. I have been taught by all you bald koonts that show up to Keepers Tours and Cogals that my flowing locks, in addition to the Magnificence of my Guns, is altogether too intimidating Pre-Ride.

    This is pretty goddamn hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh.

    I was recently decreed as having the nicest locks in the group by my futboling mates. Most are around the same age, some even younger, and I’m the only one with a full head o’ hair.

    The mind boggles.  Futbollers either have absurd hair or none at all.

    Then again, there is the eternal glory of Gert-Jan Theunisse:

  31. @wiscot OCD, really? Those shelves are utterly random to me, in a way that I find difficult to look at.

    They want to be ordered and patterned but instead they are, as my late grandmother would have said, all over the place like a madwoman’s breakfast.

    She was a nurse so I imagine she had at various times given meals to people with nervous disorders and could speak to the truth of this simile.

  32. Nate – thank you for that photo. I love that hair! Lampre needs his hairnet too…pink and azure.

    I grew up playing ice hockey, lacrosse, and soccer, all three of which involve some serious attention to the locks. I saw a whole lot of horror hair, such as the mullet with the stepped lines shaved into the “sideburns.”

    I also feel now is the time to share this – I grew a mini rat tail/mullet combo during my first year of college. On a dare, by a senior captain on the team. I wanted to let him know I didn’t fuck around. I took a LOT of harassment from other teams and their fans that year.

  33. @Nate

    @Ron

    @frank

    @Marcus

    @frank

    Why the fuck were you wearing a helmet indoors?

    On such a day of days when you are presumably meant to be providing some sort of example, why Frank? Why?

    Its a courtesy. I have been taught by all you bald koonts that show up to Keepers Tours and Cogals that my flowing locks, in addition to the Magnificence of my Guns, is altogether too intimidating Pre-Ride.

    This is pretty goddamn hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh.

    I was recently decreed as having the nicest locks in the group by my futboling mates. Most are around the same age, some even younger, and I’m the only one with a full head o’ hair.

    The mind boggles. Futbollers either have absurd hair or none at all.

    Then again, there is the eternal glory of Gert-Jan Theunisse:

    Ruh-roh. Seems to have lost the locks through natrual selection

  34. @Marcus

    @frank

    Why the fuck were you wearing a helmet indoors?

    On such a day of days when you are presumably meant to be providing some sort of example, why Frank? Why?

    +1 Proposed Rule #96 Don’t wear your helmet indoors.

  35. @Chris

    @Gianni

    @ChrisO

    @Gianni So what is wrong with that picture? (In reference to the caption on the main photo).

    I’ve looked several times and don’t see anything – apart from the keyboard stashed somewhat untidily on top of the magazines in the bottom shelf and what may be some of the more questionable items from Rapha’s range. Don’t get me wrong I love their kit, I’m just less enamoured of the shaving set and leather-bound ride journal end of the spectrum.

    To me it was the incongruity between Rapha’s fancy products and our book, which is full of cursing.

    Rapha elicits cursing by other means – namely by placing their embro and chamois cream in identical packaging.

    @Chris , correct

    Ive nearly been caught out a couple of times in the early hours of the morning pre ride.

    It makes me wonder perhaps if I did mix them up I might ride quicker ?

  36. @Gianni

    @Rob

    Boy oh boy, what a great day out. The images say it all, West Side bike path, GW bridge, gravel and no car roads next to the Hudson and a beautiful spring day! Not to mention the signing, Rapha and the Gypsy Doughnut!!

    so wish I could have posted up…

    Gianni – hey I’m impressed your looking fit! So too fearless leader ( but the helmet in store does need explaining or new Rule?). Was there a seatpost competition between Frank, Xyxax and Gianni??

    Congratulations, job well done!

    I thought of you on that route. It was stunning. Frank still wins the seatpost competition, then @xyxax. I don’t compete in that even, but it was fun to get Frank on the Bella for the bike’s sake. Bella has not been ridden so fast in many years.

    Man o man, the mighty Bella still getting a thrashing after all these years! That is a a great image for that day. And Frank must have even made it look small, no?

  37. This whole thing: the site, the book, but mostly the people here. It just continues to blow my mind. I’m just glad someone pointed me in this direction. *Awesomeness*

  38. @ChrisO

    @Gianni So what is wrong with that picture? (In reference to the caption on the main photo).

    I’ve looked several times and don’t see anything – apart from the keyboard stashed somewhat untidily on top of the magazines in the bottom shelf and what may be some of the more questionable items from Rapha’s range. Don’t get me wrong I love their kit, I’m just less enamoured of the shaving set and leather-bound ride journal end of the spectrum.

    I hear ya Chris, but I really want that Citroen H van…

  39. @Barracuda

    How good is that !!

    @frank @Gianni – now its time to go worldwide.

    A certain small UCI race in January would be perfect, followed by a couple of Cogals already in the planning in South Australia. The beer is cold and the weather warm ( read – fckn hot ) that time of year. @Gianni, you could even personally deliver the flag this time.

    Many more books to sign and world domination to plot !

    Respectfully,  blistering high summer heat in SA is not the best way to experience cycling in Australia.  Autumn is a much nicer time and the east coast has many more folk who might be interested.  The roads of the Mt Warning caldera are the perfect place for a cogal, and if you want to coincide with a major event, the THe Battle of the Border in April is the one to aim for.  The weather is stunning, there is a major national/international airport on the doorstep, there is tons of stuff for accompanying families to do and lots of wonderful places to stay.   There are lots of cafes and restaurants as well as art galleries, village markets and amazing coffee and food.    There is probably even beer, and there is certainly lots of pretty girls.   We even have OPera on the Beach this week, and the surf is good enough to host the Roxy/Quiksilver Pro.  Byron Bay is a comfortable round trip by velominocycle from the border.

    Sure, I’m biased, and probably sound like bad ad copy, but it’s all true.  Just ask me.

    If I may be so bold, I would propose an inaugural Captain Ken’s Caldera Cogal in 2015.  All the Velominati are invited.   I might even do some training and get fit enough to keep up.   There are about a dozen memorable rides to choose from.   One day would not do it justice.  At least 3 days would be needed.

  40. @Ken Ho. At the risk of turning this into an interstate bidding war for a book signing, might I remind you, respectfully, that we have an outstandingly well run UCI world turn event HERE !  Also the keepers love the heat ! So to your suggestion I offer this :-  http://youtu.be/cbeR6uYxU50

  41. @Ken Ho bad brochure copy?

  42. @Barracuda

    Absolutely, indeed you do have the TDU, and my comments in no way impugned that fine event.

    But, your description of your cogal this year was of a small handful of diehards turning out to contend with greater than 40 degree heat, which while it makes for a good story, obviously deterred a lot of people.

    I’m sure that the Keepers would find their way around most of the major centres if they made the trek to our bonny shores, so a bidding war is not really what I was after.

    I was merely suggesting an pleasant autumn alternative to the blistering summer heat which we have both experienced.  The Battle of the Border is also a very well run event, attracting a lot of folk, so an ideal opportunity to

    Not a lot of organisation actually required around here.  Basically, you get on your bike and ride, and there are any number of loops you can pick and choose from as you go, with roads that run inland and intersect with the Pacific Highway between Coolie and Byron.  Lots of coffee stops, just need 2 large bidons on a warm day depending on the route.

    Come up sometime, and I’ll put you up and show you some of my favourite rides.

  43. @Ken Ho   Its a pity there isn’t font, as @Mikael Liddy had mentioned somewhere previously, that adequately portrays sarcasm, my post could’ve used such a font.

    I agree with your comments, surely Rapha could sponsor a “Conference of the Velominati” in a location central to all.  All expenses and kit paid for of course.

    Seriously though, I will keep your invite in mind when near.

    Sounds like a cracker part of our great land.

  44. @Ken Ho yeah that was this year, last year’s cogal that took place the weekend the TDU started was run in mid to high 20’s & near perfect conditions, so as with any outdoor event, you take your chances with the weather.

    The main reason we look to run one around TDU week is that there tends to be a butt load of cyclists from all over the country descending on Adelaide for that week, it seems silly not to take advantage of it.

  45. @Mikael Liddy

    @Ken Ho yeah that was this year, last year’s cogal that took place the weekend the TDU started was run in mid to high 20″²s & near perfect conditions, so as with any outdoor event, you take your chances with the weather.

    The main reason we look to run one around TDU week is that there tends to be a butt load of cyclists from all over the country descending on Adelaide for that week, it seems silly not to take advantage of it.

    I reckon 20 starters from our small country town was a good effort this year, given the impending weather doom.

    Look forward to the Jan one and expect the need for rolling road closures through the Adelaide Hills @Mikael Liddy. One things for sure, I wont be attempting your herculean effort in riding down (up) the night before hand. @Little Liddy a starter on that new aero rocket of his ?

  46. @Barracuda there is a front wheel pedal powered steed in the queue for him but I’m not sure he’ll be tearing around on it by then…

    120k & 2,700m, what do we think? http://app.strava.com/routes/325555

  47. @Mikael Liddy

    @Barracuda there is a front wheel pedal powered steed in the queue for him but I’m not sure he’ll be tearing around on it by then…

    120k & 2,700m, what do we think? http://app.strava.com/routes/325555

    We think we very much approve of this !   Great roads and scenery.  Excellent

  48. @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Barracuda there is a front wheel pedal powered steed in the queue for him but I’m not sure he’ll be tearing around on it by then…

    120k & 2,700m, what do we think? http://app.strava.com/routes/325555

    We think we very much approve of this ! Great roads and scenery. Excellent

    One day, I will get to your cogal, might even check out that other bike ride that’s on at the same time…

  49. @piwakawaka

    @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Barracuda there is a front wheel pedal powered steed in the queue for him but I’m not sure he’ll be tearing around on it by then…

    120k & 2,700m, what do we think? http://app.strava.com/routes/325555

    We think we very much approve of this ! Great roads and scenery. Excellent

    One day, I will get to your cogal, might even check out that other bike ride that’s on at the same time…

    You must, Willunga Hill stage was awesome and the crowd noise deafening.   Felt very Euro for a day !

  50. Aw man, i wish i had known u guys were going to be here. Im sorry to say that i missed this event. But i totaly would have gone down to both ride and pick up a copy of the rules. Also, i  need to check out this place! Im one of the few keepers of the cog here in the apple.  Hopefully ill catch u guys the next time your in my home town.

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