On Rule #6: Resistance
Strength can be a fickle thing this time of year, when the training isn’t as consistent as it should be; it comes and goes, sometimes…
Velominati Super Prestige
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Browse the VSP archives →
La Vie Velominatus: Ugly Ducklings
We’re an odd bunch, us Cyclists. Shaved legs, scars, tan lines, muscular legs paired to scrawny upper bodies. These things that make us stand out…
The First Ride Back
It’s the ride you’ll do the most. The hardest ride you’ll ever do, too. You’ll do it so often that it should be easy, but…
The Goldilocks Principle: Valve Stem Length
The Goldilocks Principle is under assault, balance is lost. Without balance, we are reduced to savages. Steerectile dysfunction is spreading like wildfire; socks are quickly…
La Vie Velominatus: The Gifts of Rule #9
We’re not really supposed to have favorites, but everyone does. Just ask your parents. So while I’m not supposed to have a favorite, I do,…
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Out of Darkness
The dark makes everything worse; something primal awakens in us when the sun has gone and we are wrapped in the black cloak of night.…
Of Course, But Maybe
I’m a naturally loud and weird person who expresses excitement through volume. Also, alcohol is supposed to be a depressant, but it doesn’t appear to work…
The Legend of @Dan_R and Café Roubaix
Although he was already an active community member, I began my friendship with Dan Richter in early 2012 after he reached out to me regarding…
From Café To Roubaix
Assuming you ride somewhere outside the borders of Antarctica, you have likely already heard about the injustice being imposed on our friend and fellow Velominatus,…
La Vie Velominatus: One Piece at a Time
Patience has never come naturally to me – I’m more Calvin than I am Hobbes in that regard. Yet I am meticulous and demanding of myself…
Solo Artist
I walk away from social gatherings with an acute sense of accomplishment whenever I haven’t offended anyone and when my friends all stayed awake. I…
Asthmatics
Having asthma is kind of like winning the lottery, except it happens to more people and instead of money you win a chronic difficulty in…
Plight of the VMW
He didn’t really want to be awake at this hour, but it was the only way. Or one of them, at least. Because he wanted…
Mustache Monster Mash
My first bicycle opened a new world to me, one where range was measured by will and pedal revolutions, not steps; the only objective was…
La Vie Velominatus: Saleté Sacrée
A Velominatus maintains their machine with meticulous care, doting over it daily. A bicycle is a tool, but it is also a work of art,…
Through the Eyes of a Canine
I envy my dog. There is nothing in her life that can not be immediately obtained that she bothers herself with; she is a perfect…
La Vie Velominatus: The Choice
The only people I would care to be with now are artists and people who have suffered: those who know what beauty is, and those…
La Vie Velominatus: Cable Obsession
I’m fluent in three languages: Dutch, English, and Hyperbole. The third is an acquired talent developed by creative and narcissistic tendencies; the narcissism feeds a…
Allez la Douze: Dropping Flies
An ancient Velominati legend states that when the The Prophet created the common fly, he gave it a maximum air speed of exactly 12 kilometers…
The Cave
No words survive here, only echoes. Echoes of our hopes, of our plans, of our failures. What we thought we might do when we came…