Categories: Breaking The RulesCyclocrossDefining MomentsRantings from the V-Bunker

Motorhead

Motors are acceptable for this.

Motherfucker.

I honestly don’t like swearing in an Article, much less using such a word to open an article, but seriously. Motherfucker. A motor discovered in an U23 rider’s bike at the Cyclocross World Championships has to be the lowest of the low that anyone can go. I’m so pissed off, I’m rhyming. Which itself makes me madder than a hatter.

I have a pretty lenient stance on doping, which I hold to fairly wide criticism. I believe that the path towards doping is full of shadows and gradual steps towards the darkness. It is easy for me to imagine a young, ambitious rider who has sacrificed education and other vocations for the chance to become a Pro Cyclist, who is taken under the wing of an older, more experienced rider and to whom is explained the ways of the sport. If I was 18 and following that path, I cannot say with certainty what choice I would make, given the limited perspective one would have under those circumstances. While I hate doping and wish for clean sport, I hold limited judgement over those who have strayed down that path.

But we ride bicycles for the pleasure of propelling ourselves along the road under our own power. We push the pedals and we go faster, it is as simple as that; the motor resides in our heads and in our hearts. Performance enhancing drugs will, to various degrees, fine-tune and modify that motor, but there remains alive a notion that even a doped rider is holding true to this basic notion.

Competition is about finding out who is the superior athlete, it is as simple as that. We train, we fine-tune our equipment, we learn the strategy and tactics required to rise to the top. Doping certainly obscures that concept, but that a rider would abandon this fundamental principle of our sport by utilizing a motor in their bike seems to me an order of magnitude removed. It is gratuitous to the extent that there is no possible justification apart from an unabashed desire to win over all else.

This is bike racing, not motorcycle racing. For fucks sake.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Body Language »

Previous « An Argument About Gloves

View Comments

litvi says:

Feb 1 2016 at 4:40 pm

@Teocalli

The thing about those motors and the way they work is that you have to pedal they don’t spin up the wheel on it’s own but rather give your pedalling more oomph (or should that be ookph). So if he’d had the same sort of system the pedals would have needed to be going round too.

"the thing about those motors" is no one is *supposed* to know they are even there, so how they work is a secret, by tautological inference. If Hesjedal's bike had some kind of flywheel or similar device to preserve energy it would make sense the rear wheel - relieved of the rider's weight (and most rolling resistance) - would keep spinning with enough inertia to turn the bike around a little. Like the workings in a self-propelled toy car. You know, the kind you roll forward a few times and it takes off on its own. You probably wouldn't get much of an assist from the small-scale version of those workings you could fit into a downtube or seat tube, but it would be enough to help through little bumps, saddle adjustments, etc. The obvious downside is that some of your energy during a acceleration is channeled into the workings and stored for those moments you let off the pedals, making quick jump-offs that much harder, but if you are freight training it up long mountain passes, the benefit would outweigh that drawback.
Teocalli says:

Feb 1 2016 at 4:49 pm

@litvi

I'd suggest that the flywheel effect of the rim would far outweigh any type of flywheel that could be concealed within a frame and it would have to be in the hub anyway otherwise the chain would have to be driving the wheel and back to the pedals needing to be turning.

The only other method of driving it would be with the magnetic drive being in the wheel rim.
litvi says:

Feb 1 2016 at 4:57 pm

@Teocalli

good point about the chain driving... can't really tell from the video what all is going on, aside from the motard driving over the rear wheel and putting an end to that caper!

And speaking of Motos... anyone else notice @frank picked a motocross rider shaded in the color of the V for his lead photo? He's not just a journalist, he's a sneaky little fucker too. That's some cryptic irony right there.
EBruner says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:10 pm

UCI has to give lifetime ban. They has to be real consequences for this garbage. These asshats are ruining the sport with this BS. It disgusts and angers me. I saw Eddy spoke out today about a lifetime ban is justified. A-Merckx.
frank says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:12 pm

@Marcus

The “friend’s bike” excuse probably tops Gibi Simoni’s cocaine double positive coming from a dentist’s injection and then from Peruvian lollies from his mum. But he got off, so maybe Femke does too!

It makes perfect sense to me that:

1. A male buddy could saunter into the pits at the cyclocross worlds with his bike;

2.Said male’s bike has the same measurements as hers, and a ladies seat (my guess – if it was set up differently, that might be another story – which I reckon we might have heard by now);

3. The friend’s bike used to be Femke’s but then the guy bought it and must’ve put a motor in it – and I guess that means he put the ladies seat back on?

3. He left it there and disappeared.

That sort of thing happens all the time.

Maybe it was Tyler's Disappearing Twin?
frank says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:15 pm

@Haldy

@Oli

I’m not sure I hold that doping the bike is somehow worse than doping the body, but I do hold that it’s bullshit that it’s come to this sorry state where motors are being fitted…

Having done a small amount of work on teams, the mechanic absolutely had to have known about the motor – that fucker should be banned too, along with her dad.

The only, ONLY thing that makes the motor worse in my mind is this…even doped…the rider still has to put in the actual effort. YES..they are enhanced, and that is totally wrong, but they are still 100% making the effort. With a motor in the bike..that is no longer the case. They are making less effort than every other rider around them.

That's what I'm saying. In black and white, cheating is cheating. But nothing is black and white. Once you add a motor, it's a different kind of betrayal.

@edwin

I had the same knee jerk reaction, but everyone is innocent until proven otherwise. If Femke is speaking the truth about this being a friend’s bike the only thing you can blame her and her team with is really bad PR and damage control. Everyone else has to eat crow – and her “friend” has a lot of explaining to do…

What is an amateur rider doing installing an expensive motor in his bike, I wonder? Seems like the perfect cover.

Hey mate! Remember that bike you bought from me? Leave it in the pit and I'll have a backup story!
frank says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:17 pm

@Ben

If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying… But putting a motor in your bike is a pretty dumb way to cheat. Way too easy to get caught.

Did you rehearse that one? That is the simultaneously the best, funniest, and stupidest post on the interwebs about this whole affair. Assuming you ignore the article in the first place.
frank says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:19 pm

@Marcus

Correction – now a fella has claimed the bike – we have a fall guy!

Aces! I loved that show!
Pete says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:20 pm

Well fuck me. It wasn't that long ago everybody was laughing at the UCI doing bike checks for motors and now this happens.

This sport has a long history of cheating (as well as doping).

Riders taking trains, riders being towed by cars by a fine wire, riders drafting cars and motorbikes, riders hanging on to cars and motorbikes, riders taking short cuts to the finish line, riders hiding somewhere out on the course then jumping back into the race... fucking etc etc.

Even last year in the Vuelta a supposed Champion of the sport cheated by hanging on to a motorbike.

Tennis has a problem with match fixing... but we consider that part of our sport, money changing hands, "favours" doled out then recalled later. Sure it's not supposed to happen but everybody knows it does at all levels of the sport.

It sure is fucked that it happened but it was going to happen one day by somebody.

It started a cheats sport and nothing has changed. Why is anybody surprised?

I just wonder who dobbed her in
frank says:

Feb 1 2016 at 5:20 pm

@litvi

Why is the UCI is calling it “technological doping”? Why are we PC’ing this to death already?

A cheat is a cheat. If you’re going to accuse her of cheating, fucking do it. Call her ass out, and don’t pussyfoot around it.

But if you aren’t sure, say nothing until you have an indictable accusation.

The middle ground is the domain of the coward, the ‘allegedly,’ and of the witch hunt.

If you suspect wrongdoing, make sure. Then burn the motherfucker down.

Yeah, you can't "accidentally" put a motor in your bike, but you can certainly "accidentally" eat some tainted beef. The ban should be the same or higher. "Lifetime" has a good ring to it.