Guest Article: Just give me something – something I can use
In our continuing guest article series, @eightzero weighs in on the modern cycling jersey. It’s made of some unholy material which has a half-life of fifty years and unless you crash in it, it’s still in your kit drawer.
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
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As the song goes, “we need dirty laundry” so goes the pile of road gear. While the preferred kit is the Sacred Garments of the Velominati, it is also true that said SGs need periodic washing. Nothing is worse (and potentially dangerous to one’s health) than pulling on yesterday’s bibs and jersey. I know the commandment to heed Rule #5 at all times, but staph infections are taking it to the extreme. I suspect even The Keepers would not endorse throwing one’s self to the pavement intentionally to acquire road rash just so we can look like Jens. Since giving the Machine a quick rub down after the ride is a priority, getting the SGs through the laundry often requires a delay.
Thus, most Velominati have a store of various bibs, base layers, gloves, and jerseys. And the latter is what gives me pause. Oh, what to do with those jerseys acquired with stars in my eyes – when those same jerseys and logos were adorned by the True Giants of the Road I so wished to emulate? A certain Texan made buying postage stamps cool, and then I had to have shark week on my TV. My sister-in-law was afflicted by MS, so it was natural that I show my support for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation, and his teeth grinding rides with CSC. And then, I had to look like Floyd. Had to. He was the Guy That Got Screwed. The guy that stood up to the alphabet soup groups. The guy that was going to make a difference and provide the hardmen with fairness.
Yeah, that turned out well.
I do my level best not to think that I have more invested in cycling clothing than I do in Machines. This clothing stuff is expensive. And, even though I now know that USPS was likely defrauded, that THF spent donations on Ty’s legal defense, that I can’t afford cable TV anymore (much less a science-y channel on the premium lineup) that CSC… well… hell, I don’t even know what CSC makes. And of course, Floyd has moved on to something called NASCAR, something I don’t even think of as sport. (I know I am going to catch hell for that, but really, driving in circles isn’t even exercise. What will be next? Olympic bus riding?) But I still have all these perfectly functional cycling kits and jerseys. They will function just fine, but somehow they always seem to find their way to the bottom of the stack, far, far below the SGs. I seek the path of the Velominati, and it is oh so hard to feel the guiding hand of Merckx upon me when resplendent in the wardrobe of… douchebags.
I guess I can be a little philosophical – I did resist the urge to buy Rock Racing’s kit – the most expensive of them all. Sure it looked pretty jazzy – I even met Michael Ball once – but $280 for a jersey? No wonder the dude has more money than, well, the United States. And I just never did get around to a Bahati Foundation jersey. I think my internet connection was down the day Floyd was on that team. My dad does like his Phonak hearing aid I got for him though. So I got that going for me.
So, off I go to eBay again looking for bargains. I see BMC kit prices are way, way up. For now. Sigh. Guess I’ll have to have one. La vie Velominatus.
So very very true. Is hard to throw them out and as you say, they never seem to wear out, except knicks which go see through, but that is a whole new topic for discussion.
Now I just buy stuff that I think will be timeless, like Rapha and Solo and flog them to death.
Oh and down here whenever you enter a sportive type event, they give you a jersey, usually compulsory to wear during the event and usually an appalling fit and of the most hideous design. Is it the same world wide?
Why don’t you put all your old jersey’s on ebay and fund some more of the sacred garments with them?? Just a thought….
@anotherdownunder
Not always. I have one from this years OC Gran Fondo which is made by Hincappie and has a Bianchi design. It’s a quality garment, a good fit and looks pretty cool.
@anotherdownunder
Surely this entire article is a confession to deliberate, long-term and systematic contravention of Rule #17 .
We should be forming a mini-pump lynch mob, not empathising.
Bollocks, that wasn’t supposed to have an @ in front.
@ChrisO
Ha!
I’m in.
What? All I know is I want to ride like the Honey Badger plays football.
http://hillsandheadwinds.blogspot.com/2011/12/honey-badger.html
Speaking for myself and may be a few others round here that are game enough to ‘fess up, I have bought some team kits over the years.
Yes, it is in breach of Rule #17 but I’ve always looked at it this way…
1. I know I’ll never be good enough to actually be wearing the kit whilst actually riding for a Pro team. I’m not fooling anyone, especially myself.
2. It’s a bit of a groupie thing. Admire team/rider, wear same kit
3. It’s also a type of homage to those same Pro teams/riders that have displayed copious amounts of rule V. I may never do the same but I’ll probably try that bit harder imagining I am Stuey in my CSC jersey.
4. Most team kits, but not all, look fucking cool. Why wouldn’t one want to wear them?
@eightzero, nice piece BTW
@Steve Wilson
Admirable intentions, but don’t you think the whole Badger thing has a bit of history already.
And I sure as hell wouldn’t want to tell Monsieur Hinault to move over cause there’s a new badger on the loose, honeyed or otherwise.
Brother eightzero, I hear you! I’ve got ridiculous amounts of clothing, all of which I either won’t sell or no one wants. Not to mention that I get sentimental about bibs and socks and can’t throw them away either, even when you wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) dare to wear them in public.
Once I dragged an old pair of the orange-era Lampre shorts from the depths of a drawer somewhere to use on my rollers that literally fell apart in less than 20 minutes of riding. I’m just glad my kids weren’t home to see it, because it wasn’t pretty…
I view compliance with Rule #17 to be similar to the words Frank used last week in his post “To walk the difficult path of becoming a better cyclist requires, in a word, willpower.”
Over time I have come very close to purchasing certain pro kits that I thought were the tits and looked “Pro”. Some of the kits that I thought have been the best the past few years were the CSC/Cervelo and Leopard-Trek Cancellara Swiss National Champion jersey. But the kit I once really had the most intense internal battle not to purchase was the Fasso Bartolo kit. To me it had Italian style, without being over the top,
But at the end of the day, I kept getting back to the fact that I am an amateur racer wannabe, and am not worthy of donning the kit of the Pros. The other factor related to willpower that prevented me from purchasing the FB kit, is that I feared that as I got older the less “Pro” the FB kit would look on me, kind of like this (which may be one of the worst kits ever worn–and that is saying something in the Pro peloton).
Thank Merckx for Willpower and Rule V
@eightzero: Great post topic: I recommend wearing your old kit on nasty wet days/ night rides/ or on the trainer where nobody sees you…and save your good kit for the glorious perfect days.
I like to leave a 10 year grace period before I will wear a pro team’s kit. By then it will be cool. One exception is that any team Lance rode for or is associated with is immediately banned as you look like an accountant or a spirited commuter (round these parts at least). I once passed three members of the Astana commuting team being lead-out by a radioshack domestique – in the eastern suburbs!
I can’t wait until GreenEDGE kit becomes available – the team itself will struggle to be clothed.
Another exception is the FDJ kit – because it is the most glorious, you can get away with wearing it while grocery shopping.
Most of my old limp shitty jerseys I wear at track training, because I don’t use the pockets and if I crash, it gets ruined. I’d give them away to juniors, but they are so slightly built they could swim in them.
Tongue-in-cheek by the way. Always wear what you want, as long as you’re laying down some V.
@rhys
Good pull.
Agree about the 10 year threshold – exemptions may be made for teams which are no longer functional (for anyone who has some HTC Columbia kit sitting in the drawer – I’d give it five years).
You will no doubt experience in Australia what has happened with Team Sky kit in the UK, and will only get worse. Ride around Surrey on a Sunday in summer and you’d think that Dave Brailsford has teamed up with The Boys (and Girls) From Brazil.
@il ciclista medio
Your logic is most worryingly dangerous.
On the grounds that
a. nobody would mistake me for a member of a pro team
b. that I like Cadel, Thor and Cav
c. I wish to pay homage to greats of the past and
d. it looks cool…
… it must be OK for me to wear the rainbow bands.
But it would be very wrong.
There is actually a guy who turns up to the training nights they hold on the Formula 1 circuit here wearing the rainbow jersey. I have to restrain myself.
My concession to pro kits were the close outs at the shop I worked at.
Oh and the old Carrera jeans bibs that were made to look like denim. Those were dope.
@ChrisO
Wearing the rainbows is sooo wrong. Its a long way from wearing team kit. Besides, Rule #17 has an escape clause – keep it matched and its passable.
But the bands? Also the MJ or a national champs jersey? Its as fake as wearing a gold medal or having a pave stone on the mantle.
As for your rainbow groupie, I always picture myself going up to those imposters and asking…”Mr Cavendish, can I have your autograph please?”
@Tomb
The Jury is in on those, Tomb. Bailiff, take him down.
@Harminator
At least @Ron has someone on his side.
I actually don’t own, nor ever have owned, any Pro kit. I was taught early on in my cycling ‘career’, that if you don’t ride for (or haven’t earned) that kit, you don’t get to wear it.
But I like the 10 year rule, ’cause I’ve been looking at a 7-11 set up, and the Brooklyn and Moltini stuff is the cats cock (tho I have mixed feelings about actually wearing Moltini since it’d be like wearing Buddha or Jesus’ robes).
@rhys
Rhys this is not aimed specifically at you but this idea of everything being cool as long as you lay down some V is becoming far too common place in my opinion. In the sock thread, in the shoe thread. It all stems from the wording in the rule about leg shaving. We cannot and should not be using the “as long as you’re laying down the V” as some kind of “catch all” get out of jail free card. By all means people debate the points, there are cases to be made. Classic team kits..yes? no? maybe..black shoes, white shoes, black socks. Eveyone can make a riveting and eloquent point BUT if we keep repeating the mantra ” it doesn’t matter as long as you’re laying down the V” then we might as well all grow beards and ride fixies in fucking flip flops..fer fucks sake.
Rant over…sorry.
@paolo
Give this man a virtual sacred garment, immediately. SPOT.THE.FUCK.ON.
Nice post eightzero. Notice nobody jumped on your NASCAR statement because you’re correct. NASCAR is pure wankery and unfortunately what most of the rest of the world thinks of the U.S.
If you bought the Rock Racing kit you may as well have bought the Zebra-Muscle monstrosities worn by Cipo as well. Just plain bad. That man, for as big of a stud as he is, has bad taste in kit. He kills it in his normal clothes though.
I own one piece of team kit. It’s a pair of yellow Phonak socks that were gifted to me by a former VMH, pure velominata, and former Jelly Belly soigneur I used to ride with and date. The spledid memories those socks give me when I put them on make the Rule #17 violation worth it and you’ll have to peel them off my dead feet.
@Steve Wilson
Whilst we appreciate your contributions and involvement here and the fact you have a blog (I’ve been over to have a look and enjoyed it) I have to ask you to stop linking to it in your post. Nothing personal or territorial it’s just a kin to perpetual wheelsucking. Thank you.
@eightzero: one thing i love about you dudes, us dudes, the keepers et al, is the originality of these circles.
everytime I come and read up, which one must do daily lest you get dropped faster than in a cat 1/2 crit race, there is something completely ORIGINAL!
I have the same problem, not with pro kits, but the cycling goods we have, they last beyond their style. Then what do you do, you ride it less, and less.
The 10 year rule is a great thought, whoever wrote that, scaler mentioned it. See, the kits and jewels that can make it past 10 years, ie molteni, faema, cilo, 7-11, raleigh, are great but let’s make a specific point here, in wool only and in nastier than thou conditions only. I don’t see the point in a graceful ride with these in todays modern fabrics.
Nascar, don’t get me started please, my BP is down & i feel great today, and i am trying my dead level best to be nice. Its christmas and i just built up my cross-rocket rocky mountain utility ride for cx and gravel road racing and will have my virginal voyage this afternoon which i am stoked about. I lovingly put her together this week, its gonna be 45* this afternoon, and I am all over it.
@marko: you have to admit though on cipo, he was so freakin awesome at times, especially at his peak, that he deserved the respect he got. He was alpha for a while, and anyone who dons a naked suit for a TT knowing he wouldn’t win the stage…and makes women blush…is awesomeness. He was a character, fiercely competitive, hated losing, opinionated and Italian. We could use another one of him in the peloton IMHO.
Here is why we have Rule #17
Its really in our own self interest and preservation
Nice one, eightzero!
Thankfully I’ve been a Follower for most of my true roadie days, so I don’t have too many wacky purchases clogging up my cycling drawer. I’ve always liked older PRO jerseys, have a few of those like a PDM one. Lately I’ve been into rather tame, plain kit, both bibs and jerseys. My biggest problem is that my ocd comes screamin’ out in regards to the fit of clothes. If clothes, whether cycling clothes or work clothes or knock-abouts, don’t fit me just right I’ll never, ever wear them. It can be something crazy too, like a sleeve that is just a bit too long.
With cycling clothiers changing their sizing all the time it’s hard enough to find a jersey from the same company that fits properly from year to year. Heck, I have the same model jersey from Mavic and they’ve redone their sizing so that from one year to the other you have to sort it out.
Yeah, nice kit ain’t cheap, but in extreme weather or during extreme rides I always find myself being very thankful.
Souleur – Ha, I always get a laugh out of seeing LampreMan.
And ooooh, a new cross do-it-all bike? I hope you are going to show it off in the Bikes section. Enjoy the first ride!
@Steve Wilson
Seriously? You’re bringing the latest lame internet meme into a discussion about the history and legacy of cycling and kit?? That’s not right at all.
On Rule #17: I have in my drawer an old Oxford United jersey (circa 1994). It was given to me after I had a trial at the club. I wear it occasionally around the house, but never wore it on the pitch. But I earned it. I don’t own any pro kit.
Nice post, @eightzero. If the VMH won’t let you frame these and hang them above the mantel, you might have a more serious issue on your hands. VVorkshop walls to add a bit of color and inspiration to your space? Not to mention kit is designed to be seen, not buried in a drawer.
@paolo: +1. And I want to take this one step further. I don’t want to suggest that laying down the V is an objective thing””it’s not””but I think we might imagine it as being a bit like la volupté. I suspect most of us don’t get as close to the V as we think we might on such a regular basis. Ride hard: yes. The V is above and beyond that. It’s always somewhat unattainable. Because if you’re still on the bike, you can always go a bit harder.
@Souleur
I was waiting for someone to post that. It was almost a Godwin’s Law kind of thing…
@paolo Your rant is basically an interpretation of Rule #1, chapeau
No pro kits in my drawer. Came close this year to buying a Garmin kit, but settled for a hat to show my fan support. Bought my son an HTC jersey cause he was all over Cavendish this year but that’s about it.
My son and I both ride for 53×11 Coffee (yea its on our USA license) so that’s the kit we wear riding and racing. I have a few other non-team jerseys, and woolies that get worn when I ride with other non-kit friends.
@Souleur
Priceless, suitible for framing.
@Souleur
Theres nothing wrong with that man. Getting on a climb with someone in team kit and then dropping them is one of lifes great pleasures and its dudes like that the give me the chance.
@Lepidopterist
Bonus points if they are wearing a KoM jersey.
@Gotta Ride Caps are acceptable in my view. They are not hats BTW – ladies wear hats to weddings. A casquette if you want to go all the way.
I will confess to one possible violation of Rule #17 in the interests of full disclosure.
I have an Australian national team jersey (not a national champion’s jersey).
However I believe there should be an exemption for national jerseys under certain conditions:
1. They can only be worn outside the nation in question, the further away the better, and
2. They can only be worn by a person of that nationality i.e. much as I would love to, I can never wear a Belgian jersey.
In these cases they are simply a demonstration of patriotic allegiance and for me in particular everyone assumes I’m British so it also helps to remind them.
Thanks all for the comments. Fairly, I bought practically of that before I learned the path of the Velominatus. As anotherdownunder points out, best option to the SGs is quality stuff like Rapha. Expensive, but when was the last time you regretted paying for quality?
Have given some thought to ebaying all this stuff, but it does have some memories like Marko points out. Some remind of great rides. Others remind me of douchbags and Rule #17. But, it is all functional, so I do wear them a lot in the winter under my jackets. And who would pay more than the shipping for this crap?
And while we’re on the topic of the SGs, I had a revelation about my new long sleeve jersey. The XXL fits me perfectly, and has room for a couple base layers. But at 6’4″, the sleeves were a bit long. I was surprised until is discovered….they are made that way so you can put the cuff *over* the wrist band of the glove. Geee, Cipo would be so proud of me….
@ChrisO
Actually, it’s a fleece beanie to warm my head in the cool morning air. It may get some more wear time once the Classics roll around while watching TV w/ a Trippel in the glass. What about wearing a pro jersey while off the bike? I would never go take infield or batting practice in a pro jersey, but I might wear it to the game and sit in the bleachers with a cold one. Same could be said for bike gear too, if you were enjoying it as a spectator sport.
Then of course there’s this kit:
@scaler911
It was then that the discussion took a strange turn when @scaler911 posted a picture of his parents…
@scaler911
Merckx!!! Are you trying to blind us?
@mouse
@RedRanger
What’s funny is we all know that some of those sold. Merckx help them!
@paolo, @Marko
Couldn’t agree more. Laying down the V is not something to brag about or use as justification. Its just what we do. Hey, mom! I had a glass of milk today! I ate a banana! We don’t brag about these things, we just do them.
Laying down the V is a matter pushing beyond our limits and just a matter of course, not a justification. Going above and beyond in the department, on the hand, is something to be proud of.
@Marko, @eightzero
Back when I lived in Charlotte, NC, I talked about cycling ad nauseum at work, especially during the Tour. That kind of none-stop motormouthing naturally gets people curious and a few started watching the race. One day they walked in and said something to the effect of, “I never realized how much like cycling is like NASCAR, what with all the drafting and whatnot.” FUCK. Not sure where you start with that conversation. Its like trying to explain that the world isn’t flat.
@scaler911, @ChrisO
I’ve also used the 10-year clause in the past. If you want to rock the 7-eleven or Motorola kit, nows a good time.
@Eightzero well done! I like your article. A funny thing is that I’ve always liked pro-jersey but for some reasons I’ve had just two, the first was the Coors Light in honor of Davis Phinney and the second the Motorola for Fabio Casartelli.
@Souleur
Fucking A-Merckx.
Cipo was a class act. Like RDV, didn’t matter how ugly his kit was, it always looked good.
The mane that gave him the moniker Lion King
Old-school leader’s jersey with team shorts
And the rest is history…
@Pedale.Forchetta
Fantastic. Just, fantastic. Phinney is a phenomenally nice guy, too; I suspect his son is as well. The memorial on the Aspet is a very touching place.
@Steampunk
A+1 – the V is pushing beyond your limits. If you’re doing it all the time, its not The V.
@ChrisO
I used to wear a defunct Dutch National Champ jersey using this same reasoning. The jersey looks like our flag and I was announcing my allegiances. But its a champ jersey, and its been retired.
@mouse
Gold!
@frank
I’d never get a Motorola kit (not that I don’t respect most of that team). And really, I don’t think I’d really fly other team colors. If I’m not wearing my own team kit, I keep it simple: black shorts, solid color Castelli jersey.
@scaler911
Or the V-Kit?
I’ve read through all the posts and think the ten year rule is the way to go. I don’t wear pro team kit (the mean streak in me considers it overpriced and I’d rather spend the money on the machine than the man) but the one I’ve been most tempted with is La Vie Clair. It has everything; classic riders (need I mention Lemond & the Badger), classic battles (ditto), artistic palmares (Piet Mondrian) and even a page in Wikipedia! Above all, it looks stylish, perhpas even more so today than at the time. Scary thing is, while writing this I’ve found (a) that they are available and (b) they aren’t that expensive. Am I on the slippery slope to a rule infraction?
@paolo
What marko said.
@frank
Damn, Cipo was da man, thanks for the memories.
Yes I am a sinner. I was just out in my inherited Motorola jersey today, channeling our boy Sean Yates and yes I own the full Zebra kit in honor of Cipo. Two large friends and myself went all-in on the Zebra kits, we all looked bad in it and basically were afraid to be seen in public in them.
@Colbagger
Do it man, La Vie Clair has some modern gravitas. The ten year rule has some merit.
@RedRanger
No, I’d rock the V-kit if (as I hang my head a bit) if I wasn’t on the hook for team kit every season. We use Castelli top end stuff too. Gets spendy when you have couple bibs, couple SS, 1 LS, 1 vest and one jacket (not to mention I haven’t brought up the Speed Suit to the comptroller yet). But yes, there is one in my future. ‘Sides, I kinda consider myself part of the VM team now anyway.
So talking about kit, merino/sportwool is a good all-weather base layer, more or less?
Nice article, tall guy. I agree with most of the comments, including NASCAR and flavored badgers. I would just add that I also tend to steer clear of kit that wears its giant logo on its sleeve, as it were. I don’t ride for Brand X any more than I ride for Nissan Leper Shack. Give me a tasteful cog or scorpion any day.
@xyxax
Or pay for the right to advertise for them.
@DerHoggz
I had a similar but different question. As far as baselayer, we did yesterday over 4 hours in 0-4 C weather with some climbing n sprinting and stopping. Had a thicker smartwool baselayer on (under a normal cycling polypro jersey and gore windstopper light jacket). At the end, no clamminess, a little bit of hypothermia, and some exhaustion. Used it and a thinner version this past cross season, which was a bit warmer and drier than last year. Always wicked like a champ, short/long rides, aerobic/anaerobic times. So I will be asking VMH for more of those base layers (and they don’t pill much at all). AND NO POLYPRO FUNK!
So my question is, those old school wool jerseys- do they perform like smartwool, or do they get soggy and funky?