There’s a couple of ‘roos loose in the top paddock…

What’s going on in Cadel’s head?  Maybe the intense heat of Spain has melted his synapses, which were already near breaking point, or perhaps it’s just the realisation that he is never going to win a Grand Tour of any kind, not even the third-tier race he’s currently gracing with his comedic ramblings.

Hands up, who'd like a white coat?
Hands up, who'd like a white coat?

His latest routine is a corker, and had them rolling in the aisles.

After he took the leader’s jersey (a form of yellow referred to as ‘golden’, yet just looks like a Maillot Jaune that hasn’t been washed for three weeks) he lost his rag on the next stage at Robert Gesink, who he claimed chopped him off in the sprint for third place bonus seconds (which, of course, he lost).  After first allegedly headbutting, then lambasting Gesink and labelling him an “idiot” to the press, he eventually apologised a few days later.  Who looked like the idiot now?

Then, a couple of stages later, the punchline.  Last climb of the day.  The heat is on at the front. He gets a flat.  It happens to everyone at some time. But it’s only Cadel who gets treated like shit.  Allegedly.  First he blamed the Shimano Neutral Service for giving him a wrong wheel (turns out it was right).  Then his own team director inexplicably stopped him to swap bikes, because they thought he’d gotten the wrong wheel too (nope).  By this time the media, team cars and public had conspired to block the road for poor Cadel.  More time lost, Vuelta over.  Yep, bad luck, to be sure, but how to react?

What would Lance do?  Get on the Twitter and vent from behind the safety of technology.

With a tirade that would make Serena Williams proud, Cadel let fly.   “After the BS I have been through just to get to this race, I am not so sure I deserved that. “A puncture in a crucial moment of the Vuelta I can handle. Useless neutral assistance and media blocking the road I really don’t deserve.  “I don’t deserve this.  I do everything right in the fucking sport and I don’t deserve this shit.”

What do you deserve, Cadel?  A few weeks relaxing in a nice ‘holiday resort’, I think.  Do some reading. Maybe play golf.  Yeah, golf is a nice, gentle sport.  You might even find you’re good at it.

Who is your team sponsor?  Oh right, Silence (it’s golden, even if you’re jersey isn’t).  Could be a not-so-subliminal message right there.

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16 Replies to “There’s a couple of ‘roos loose in the top paddock…”

  1. There’s something really sad about watching someone whose ambition outreaches their capabilities, and I think Cadel is one of those cases. In addition to that, he seems to be able to retain stress about as well as a sea cucumber in Antartica, not to mention being unable to garner any team unity or select a Director Sportive that has a clue how to direct a Grand Tour winning team.

    Bottom line is that entitlement doesn’t take you to a grand tour win, however badly you want it to. For the same reason George Hincapie won’t win Paris-Roubaix, Cadel won’t win a Grand Tour.

    And it’s too bad, too, because there’s a part of all of us that would like to see them do well.

  2. I think with some luck, Hincapie could win Paris-Roubaix. Man, he’s come so close. The dude deserves it – would be great to see him take it.

  3. @Dan O
    Oh, yeah. I’d love to see it, too. Troubling for him, I think Roubaix is a race where you make your luck, and he seems to have a history of coming up short on that.

    Like you said, though, I’d love to see it.

  4. Had he stuck with Columbia HTC his chances may have been good still for next year. It sounds like this new team is younger and maybe a bit more developmental. Of course when your handlebars break and you puncture every three miles it doesn’t matter what team you’re on. I’d love to see the guy win it as well. I’d like to see Thor in there next year too.

  5. Sorry, but George ain’t winning Roubaix in this lifetime.

    I thought it was hilarious how after he took that wheel-sucking mountain top win in the 05 Tour that everyone, even so-called experts, started touting him as a possible Tour winner in 06!

    At the time I was writing the contenders guide for an Aussie mag, and the editor suggested I add George to the GC list. I politely refused with the addendum that if he finished in the Top 20, I’d walk naked down a main street in Sydney while eating a Discovery Channel hat.

    Predictabily, George came through for me.

  6. Brett’s right. For as much as I’d like to see him win Roubaix, George will go down as one of the best super domestiques of all time and generally a nice guy. Keeping on topic with this post though, he did get a little pouty at the tour this year having lost his yellow hopes and a stage win.

  7. @brett
    Eating the Disco hat is what would have really killed you. High calories; gotta keep that strength-to-weight ratio down.

    That is a perfect example of why he will never win a big race. He failed to take control of the break to make it happen and then pointed at everyone else when he missed out. Oh, and sorry, George, but Gent-Wevelgem is not really a big race.

  8. Was always more of a Julich fan than a Hincapie one. Different kinds of riders, but Julich is one of the few non-Monument riders I really grew to appreciate. Classy guy and silky-smooth rider.

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