Velominati Cogal: Welli-Roubaix 2011

Artwork: Richard 'Rigid' Ainsworth.

It’s a call to arms.  No, it’s a call to legs, hearts and minds.

Just as the Illuminati would stage their fabled, and somewhat feared Cabals, we the Velominati will this year stage our own modern-day versions, the Cogals.  A meeting of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Sound like a formula you could enjoy?  Then Welli-Roubaix is just the ticket.

Assembling at Hataitai Velodrome, Wellington on Sunday April 10, the date of the Queen of the Classics, we will share a cocktail of gravel and tarmac (in the place of real cobbles). It’s a ride, not a race, but attacking on the gravé is encouraged, as is banter in between bouts of the V.  Sprinting on the banked concrete at the conclusion of the ride is mandatory, but no ‘winner’ will be crowned, no trophy awarded except that of cold brews and a set of commemorative  V-Cards.

The next morning (Monday), lashings of Chimay, Duvel, mussels and frites en mayo will accompany the live viewing of the the main event at downtown Belgian bar Leuven. We implore the Welliminati to gather en masse, and encourage our Aussieminati to make the jump across the ditch and join in a weekend of V-based activities on and off 700 x 25s.

*In the light of the terrible events in Christchurch, we will dedicate the ride to those unfortunately affected by the earthquake, and donate V dollars (or more) each to a reputable appeal.

Good times, good people, good cause.

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173 Replies to “Velominati Cogal: Welli-Roubaix 2011”

  1. @frank
    Two words: “Preview Post”

    Beggars can’t be choosers tho.

    @Steampunk
    Thanks, but I’m still a little south of that.

    And you’ll all be happy to know that I will finally be in true Rule #9 territory on Saturday; forecast high is 5. And rainy.

  2. @Steampunk
    Thanks for the tip. Will do.
    We can ask our friend JIPM about progressive country and the inspiration (I assume) for the band name “Wailin’ Jennys” though he may still have been in training bibs at that time.

    @Gianni
    Having spent 23 years in Texas, some of it cycling the mean streets of Ft. Worth, why (only) Midland?

    And to bring it completely back to cycling:
    Lance Armstrong can’t play guitar for shit.

  3. @sgt

    And you’ll all be happy to know that I will finally be in true Rule #9 territory on Saturday; forecast high is 5. And rainy.

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww…the Californian is gonna have some rain and cold. So sad.

  4. @xyxax “Lance Armstrong can’t play guitar for shit.”

    This has got me wondering about what PROs can play and/or sing – or, raather, what they SHOULD play / sing.

    Banged n Felled – “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down” (Chumbawamba)

    LA – “Rawhide” ? “Sex n Drugs n Rock n Roll” ?

    JENS! – “Takin Care of Business”

    Everyone in Spain – “Suspicious Minds”

    Rasjuicin – The Chicken Dance

    Clenbutador – “Lyin’ eyes”

    Best I stop this now, I think.

  5. G’phant :

    minion :++1 Wicked! Though I’d rather live in Texas than drink Tui.

    And drink Budweiser ???

    Bud–huh? Shiner Bock. It’s what’s for breakfast.

  6. Gianni :
    Hey! Hey! If anybody sucks it’s us Americans. A fatter, lazier, dumber group than us, you won’t find them.

    Well us Aussies have been giving the Americans a run for their money, let me rephrase that, a waddle to the fast food counter, no let me rephrase that, a stop at the drive-thru, in the lard-arse stakes. Heck, for a while there we even held No.1 position on the world obesity levels. Thankfully we have now been relegated back to No.2, after the US.

  7. frank:
    @sgt

    And you’ll all be happy to know that I will finally be in true Rule #9 territory on Saturday; forecast high is 5. And rainy.

    Awwwwwwwwwwwww…the Californian is gonna have some rain and cold. So sad.

    Frank: I’m confused. Does that make you the kettle or the pot?

  8. @xyxax
    Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Jessie Colter, Tompall Glaser, David Allen Coe, Jerry Jeff Walker, Asleep at the Wheel. It was everything that came out of Austin. Or really, it was everything that didn’t come out of Nashville. The center of the universe was a place called the Armadillo World Headquarters.

    It was the soundtrack of my childhood.

    Sorry. Getting a little wistful. Think I’ll go get a 6-pack of Lone Star.

  9. G’phant :
    @xyxax “Lance Armstrong can’t play guitar for shit.”
    This has got me wondering about what PROs can play and/or sing – or, raather, what they SHOULD play / sing.
    Banged n Felled – “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down” (Chumbawamba)
    LA – “Rawhide” ? “Sex n Drugs n Rock n Roll” ?
    JENS! – “Takin Care of Business”
    Everyone in Spain – “Suspicious Minds”
    Rasjuicin – The Chicken Dance
    Clenbutador – “Lyin’ eyes”
    Best I stop this now, I think.

    Forget the songs, here is the beginnings of a Breakaway Artists LP
    David Moncoutie – Don’t Stand So Close to Me
    Jacky Durand – Only the Lonely
    JENS! – Another One Bites the Dust
    JENS! – So Hard (although am not sure the Pet Shop Boys and Jens go together)

    any others?

  10. @xyxax
    I’ve only seen parts of Texas, drove through Midland heading to New Mexico. I then understood why George W. Bush had such a troubled youth growing up there. Ouch.

  11. @Gianni
    You should read “Friday Night Lights” about Odessa Permian football. Odessa is next door to Midland and gives the reader a pretty accurate picture of Midland/Odessa in the 80’s.

  12. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Ah, you did me proud.
    M is for the mud on my pickup truck.
    O is for the oil in my hair.
    T is for T-bird
    H is for Haggard
    E is for eggs and
    R is for REDNECK.

    @Gianni
    The insular world of the Permian basin (not to mention Yale) may not be conducive to a presidential mind.

    @frank
    You know, Mubarak started fixing people’s posts and now look…
    and Lance, like, cured cancer with those yellow bracelets and everything.

  13. always one to jump on a (worthy) bandwagon

    Thor or JENS – Power and the passion
    LA – Natural woman
    Boonen – Too drunk to [email protected]#k (or snort)
    Landis – Humpty Dumpty or The boy with a thorn in his side
    Jacky Bobby – Future’s so bright (I gotta wear shades)
    Clenbutador – Ironic

    Friday arvo & a little brain dead so I’ll leave it at that

  14. @xyxax
    It’s all I can do not to post David Allen Coe’s “You Never Even Called Me by My Name”. The last verse really does make it the single greatest country song ever written. Mama. Trains. Trucks. Prison. Getting drunk. It just doesn’t get any better.

    Another great song is Kris Kristofferson’s “Sunday Morning Coming Down”. It breaks my heart everytime.

  15. Jeff in PetroMetro:
    @xyxax It was everything that came out of Austin.

    Still is. ‘Austin Skyline’ by Jimmy Lafave is still one of my favorite albums (though, as the name suggests, owes as much to Dylan as it does to Austin). I saw him live in an underground bar in Wellington in the mid 90’s – just him and a bass player. Fantastic. And isn’t Darden Smith from around those parts?

    @xyxax
    Well played. I couldn’t think of anything for the Schlecklet. You nailed it.

    @Marcus
    No, JENS and the PS Boys would be strange bedfellows. And I think ‘Hurt’ (probably the Nine Inch Nails version, rather than the Johnny Cash version) should be JENS’ signature tune.

  16. @minion
    Y’all take your beer very seriously. Texans, not so much. We’re more about how cold can you get the beer and how does it taste with either barbeque or Tex-Mex (our version of Mexican food). It pretty much comes down to Lone Star and Shiner Bock.

    We learn early in life that Friday night is high school football, getting drunk, and getting laid. Saturday is college football, getting drunk, and getting in a fight with either your girlfriend or some guy who’s staring at your girlfriend. Sunday is church–mostly Southern Baptist. Real hellfire and brimstone. Makes you feel bad about what you did on Friday and Saturday. By Monday you get over it, and by Friday, you’re ready to go again. What was my point? Oh yeah. We’re not particularly sophisticated, and our beers reflect it.

    One can never accuse Lone Star or Shiner Bock of being great beers. They’re good beers, dependable, consistent, and traditional to Texas.

  17. @G’phant
    Darden Smith–yep. Robert Earl Keen and his college roommate, Lyle Lovett, are from around here. From a little west of Austin, you’ve got Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Joe Ely, and Butch Hancock.

  18. @Steampunk
    Please don’t ever make me responsible for Alanis. On the other hand you are responsible for Ron Sexsmith, who as far as I’m concerned is the mutts nuts.

  19. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    You know, I’ve been a fan of Lyle Lovett for a long time. For me, probably about the coolest modern country music around.
    He finally played in Sydney last year after what must have been about a 20yr wait, and I would have to say it was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. Had the punters in the palm of his hand, sublime.

  20. @il ciclista medio
    Yup. Weird guy, brilliant (if disturbingly misogynistic) music. Would love to see him live. Bet he rides something odd – recumbent with Campy Chorus, or something.

    Has got me wondering what type of bike other musicians might ride. But I’m not sure we should go there…

  21. @G’phant
    Mmmm, perhaps some of it may be but I was just thinking of something like “North Dakota” which is far from being misogynistic. Quite beautiful and poetic to me. Guessing it’s more of one’s interpretation of the lyric’s plus that cowboy slant he puts on most things.

    Now bikes and musician’s….
    Snoop on a low rider cruiser tandem, blinged to the max, speakers and spliff holder, with some voluptuous bimbo wearing totally inappropriate attire (for a bike that is) on the front, doing the hard work
    Morrisey on a single speed Raleigh, scarf and hounds-tooth jacket with an un-oiled chain giving off just the right whine as he forlornly pedals past
    The Chilli Peppers on BMX’s (too obvious?)
    James Blunt on a tricycle, possibly orange, to allow the continual strumming of guitar while yodelling “You’re beautiful” until unceremoniously being hit by a bus whilst in the cycle lane
    Mariah Carey – solid gold MTB with all of her platinum disc’s melted down to make the bars, some gold CD’s as mirrors, not for traffic but for hair and make-up checks whilst stopping every 10 meters

    I think I could do this all night…..just let me grab another beer……

  22. First, (insufficient) atonement:
    two good posts from yesterday that would benefit from the insight of the cognoscenti herein:
    on the evolution of track gearing over at the Inner Ring.
    the effect of frame geometry on bike handling at Cycling Tips.

    And then the relapse:
    Grimpelder: “He ain’t heavy (he’s my brother)” (The Hollies)

  23. il ciclista medio :
    @Jeff in PetroMetroYou know, I’ve been a fan of Lyle Lovett for a long time. For me, probably about the coolest modern country music around.He finally played in Sydney last year after what must have been about a 20yr wait, and I would have to say it was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. Had the punters in the palm of his hand, sublime.

    I’m also a big fan of Lyle Lovett and don’t forget James McMurtry who is another awesome muscian out of Texas (and has anyone mentioned Stevie Ray yet?)

  24. @Buck Rogers
    Until now, nobody has mentioned SRV. But now that you’ve opened the lid just sit back and wait for frank to dive in. He and I are both fans. If Texas is anything, it’s a breeding ground for good music.

  25. @G’phant

    Bet he rides something odd – recumbent with Campy Chorus, or something.

    You mean like this SRAM Red-equipped, Zipp-ladden, Power-Tap enabled, carbon-seated beast?

  26. @Marko
    Ivan Basso: SRV’s Tightrope. Man with stellar talent ruins his life and reputation on drugs, cleans up, and comes back better than he was before.

  27. “Life by the Drop” by SVR for Pantani, not in a judgemental way but in a melancholy way?

  28. One of my biggest regrets is passing up tickets to see SVR in Burlington, VT in summer 1990. My buddies were all going and I had to work so I passed on it as I thought I could see him some time later. Less than two months later, he was dead.

  29. Buck Rogers:
    One of my biggest regrets is passing up tickets to see SVR in Burlington, VT in summer 1990. My buddies were all going and I had to work so I passed on it as I thought I could see him some time later. Less than two months later, he was dead.

    +1

    And I’d say it’s Floodin Down in Texas (or about to anyway) for the CoTHO.

  30. @Marko
    Oops, meant to +1 your Life by the Drop Post. It’s NOT good you missed the SRV show. He’s one of the two celebrities that actually made me choke up when they died. The other was John Belushi

  31. @Marko
    Thought you were rubbing a little salt into the wound there for a bit! Yeah, made me realize that I need to see and do the things I dream about whenever the chance presents itself, that’s for sure.

  32. With regard to music, I wish every Velominati who has a love of blues, progressive country, Texas swing, and straight forward rock and roll could have lived when and where I lived. Read Wikipedia’s history for Stevie Ray Vaughan. I grew up in Dallas and have heard, either recorded or live, every artist listed. I’ve been to most of the venues. Same for Austin. I lived in Austin from ’85 to ’94. The scene was so full of the greatest musicians ever, that it became commonplace to bump into people like Ronnie Lane (I saw at my local hardware store) and Ian McLagan–both from the Small Faces and relocated from England to Austin. Side note: Ian McLagan married Kim Kerrigan, first wife of Keith Moon. I am a huge Who fan. Kim was killed in a car accident down the road from my mom and step-dad’s house in Bastrop, just outside of Austin. Mom, who owned the Old Main Bookstore in Bastrop, was acquainted with Kim (Mom knew or met everyone in and around Bastrop), but didn’t really make the connection to The Who until I told her.

    In Austin, Antone’s was down the street from where I lived. If a huge tour band came through (Rolling Stones, U2, etc.), they’d head to Antone’s after their show to jam until all hours of the morning. There was a pic of the guys from U2 at the counter of Conan’s Pizza where they ate before heading over to Antone’s.

    Now in Houston, I live down the street from Fitzgerald’s. Everyone from SRV to the Ramones played there.

    One cannot throw a rock in Austin/Dallas/Houston without hitting some ridiculously awesome musician or a well respected recording studio, guitar shop, record shop, or venue.

    Oh, before we were married, my wife and I lived next door to Lyle Lovett’s girlfriend. I was cooking dinner one night, looked up out the window, and saw that distinct stovepipe hairstyle walking across my lawn to our neighbor’s house. Listen to the song “I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You”. My wife and I swear he wrote that about our neighbor who was in Lyle’s life before Julia Roberts. Our neighbor looked just like Julia Roberts. Connect the dots.

    Charlie Sexton. The Fabulous Thunderbirds. Alejandro Escovedo. Eric Johnson. Kelly Willis. Charlie and Bruce Robison–in Austin, just about anytime you stuck your head in the door of a dozen different places, these folks were playing. My wife is sure that, before Natalie Maines joined, the Dixie Chicks played at a picnic where she worked.

    And to bring it back to cycling, Steve Hegg stayed at my apartment for a week in between the Tour of Texas and the Spenco 500. Really good guy. Really, really fast.

    And I witnessed a conversation, standing on Highway 360, in Austin, after a time trial (I think), between Eddie B. and Armstrong (when he was a killer teen triathlete) about giving up triathlon and becoming a bike racer full-time.

    There really is something in the water around here.

  33. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    Amazing stuff!!! But what strikes me most about your post is the chance that you had to STOP The COTHO from becoming a roadie!!!!!! Man, you could have talked him out of it, you were THERE, but you DIDN’T and just look at what happened!!!!!! It’s almost as bad as missing a chance to kill Hitler or something! Maybe Tarantino can make a movie out of it with an alternate ending?

  34. @Buck Rogers
    Nah. He wasn’t very nice, but we were all amazed at his talent. I have old teammates who still work for him. I can’t say too much bad stuff for fear of never working in Texas again. Or maybe succumbing to a mysterious death.

  35. @Jeff in PetroMetro
    My wife and I have given occasional thought to taking a year off to travel North America by RV as a family, before the kids are too old for it to be ok (in terms of their schooling). One of the things we would plan to do is make sure we got to South by Southwest. But maybe we’ll just go to Austin for the whole year. What’s the riding like?

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