The Bikes
The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.
It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.
The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.
If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.
- Rule #12 and the Cascade Effect
That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ... - Guest Article: Black Is Not The New Black@kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
- Dialing in the StableThis was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
- Matching the drapes to the rugAs a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
- Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourEveryone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...
Nevermind. Not the same version. Just same graphic.
@Barracuda
Curved saddles had me constantly “pushing back” on the saddle and tended to lock me in to one spot. I use the Selle Italia SLR TT. The flatness of it allows me to move around to different positions. Numbness is a thing of the past, but I just lucked out and finally found a saddle that fits me perfectly.
@frank
+1 Frank. Although, I have been pretty happy with SRAM on the CX bike. It doesn’t shift on me as much when I spill. Which is often. And those Tigers, damn they can mess your day up. Unless you have sticky bomb. Lots of sticky bombs.
@gaswepass
BB386 was developed by BH and FSA. I am not too sure who else is using it. By all reports, it is a super stiff BB even with BH’s Ultralight frame – which after paint is the lightest production frame out there. This is why I am going to be carrying BH in the studio. And Rotors too. I haven’t found them flexy at all and I am like 185 on a good day after a big poop. Shifting is all about maintenance and set-up. Although, I would admit that with the adjustability Rotor chainrings, that could possibly cause some shifting, I guess.
This is the lower limit of how dirty a Campa Record drive train can get and still function. The fourth and fifth gears require some…patience…to shift. I push the button and it takes a second or two before the chain hops down into the gear.
This if four day’s ride worth of gunk, as I didn’t have time over the weekend to do my weekly cleaning of the lil’ girl. (I did have time to wipe the frame down, just not to clean the drive train.)
White Lightening Clean Day is just amazingly awesome for this application; the chain really stays remarkably clean despite the PNW deluge its been sent through these last few weeks.
To put it in perspective, we’ve had so much rain that my basement has flooded twice from the chimney filling with rain water (its an old 1900’s house), the garage door really only pretends to keep water out, and last night we woke up because the rain was hitting the windows so hard we thought they might have broken.
Still I ride to work, and still the she loyally keeps on shifting, but she’ll need to be cleaned tonight, lest tomorrow she be converted into a Single Speed.
@frank
The horror, horror, horrooooor!
@G’rilla
It’s easier to manufacture, maybe, than a traditional English or Italian BB. I haven’t heard many people say good things about it (giving a 100% discount to marketing-talk about it being “stiffer.”)
@frank
I’d more say Campa needs to be kept cleaner if you ride it in the wet. I find both 10s and 11s stay in tune once you get them dialed better than Shimano.
@G’rilla
BB30 needs adapters only if you’re after a Shimano crank as they won’t adopt the standard. FWIW, I’m incredibly happy with both by BB30 SRAM Force cranks on Road and CX bikes. No concerns at all about threads, first I’ve heard of it.
I like the simplicity of the system I admit. I did get some creaking in my road bike after a full filthy winter but it was easily fixed by pulling it down and regreasing.
@frank Elude = evade or escape from, allude = hint or suggest.
@Nate
If it wasn’t such a huge pain in the ass to take my gloves on and off I’da taken some photos, as that thought did cross my mind. But out in the shop at 11pm with many IPA’s on board, I figured I’d just ruin my camera. I prolly ought to double check a few little things like the stem bolts. It was a full strip down of both #1 and #2. But hey, there were no parts left over so I’ve got that going for me.
I take that back, here’s one photo:
@scaler911
PURDY!
@frank
Also purdy but in a whole different kind of way…
@frank
Although the Sherman was affectionately known as the “Tommy Cooker” by the crews of Tigers – you pays your money – you takes your choice
@Oli
I’ll add to that:
Asshat: someone who points out gramatical errors in people’s posts.
Seriously, articles is one thing, but people’s posts? You’re better than that.
What? Plato doesn’t end a sentence with a fucking period…?
@PeakInTwoYears
I used to think that Plato was some sort of Greek washing up liquid until I came on here.
@PeakInTwoYears
And if I remember rightly the Ancient Greeks didn’t have punctuation everythingjustsortofrantogether
Although if they had gotten around to using punctuation as an educated man he’d have called the thing marking the end of a sentence a full stop.
Probably.
@frank I understand most insulting terms, but there are two that elude me (see what i did there?):
i) douchebag: I think I understand what one is (although do any women really have bags for their multiple douches?), but why is it offensive?
ii) Asshat (or in British/Australian arsehat): I agree that it sounds a bit funny, but what does this even mean?
Why not just call someone an unnecessarily pedantic fuckwit? Or just plain old wanker cunt? Or just Dutch?
@Marcus
Do insulting terms have to mean something? I just think it sounds funny, which I thought was the only value they provide.
Per your question, however, I did some research and I figured it out.
@frank
@Marcus
@Oli
So, Asperger’s was taken out of the DSM-IV yesterday. That excuse is now gone. But does the fact that Binge Eating and Hoarding Syndrome were added help anybody’s cause?
@Marcus
FYI, I almost posted this, but I didn’t want to get banned from my own site for posting a LOLcat.
@Marcus
Really? I’ve never met a Brit or Aussie who would use the word “hat” in (other than “mad as a hatstand” any insult. Asshat is the sort phrase that would have us roll our eyes in a sort of “they haven’t quite got the whole swearing and insulting thing yet, have they?” way.
@frank Never having heard of a LOLcat, I just googled it. Mind boggling. It does beg the question, though.
What the fuck did you google to come across that sort of shit by accident?
Cat related words?
@the Engine
Oh, sure, “Greek washing up liquid” followed by “but they didn’t have punctuation.”
What is British for “ahem”? “Aherm”?
@Chris
As ugly as a hatful of arseholes.
@Marko whilst you are talking about US things, as someone with some understanding of the topic (and being serious for 3 seconds – sorry) am sure that the removal of Aspergers is definitional only and if someone has the requisite symptoms, they would fall under the DSM-IV definition of autism.
My excuse is that i am just a cunt.
Our American friends are lightweights – I can’t imagine the colonials could ever come up with such baroque levels of filth as this for instance http://viz.co.uk/profanisaurus.php. Whereas those who remained with the old Imperial Preference through the glory days can Swear Properly (that’s like Training Properly but indoors) the ability to wheel out industrial scale profanity appears to have been lost.
Its as if “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” was followed by “We will also replace proper swearing (because its British) with limp euphemisms including “shoot”, “heck” and “dang””. and for a finale “We will cease spelling properly, call our punctuation marks different things and introduce illogical pronunciation so that “lever” is not pronounced the same way as fever””.
I’m still looking for the bit where they decided to call trousers pants – it’s probably in the Amendments somewhere…
@PeakInTwoYears
Over here “aherm” is defined as the awkward moment after a joke when nobody laughs. Political campaigns are full of “aherms” (shit too but we’ll leave that for another day)
@the Engine I disagree. Americans are excellent swearers in their own right, Muthafucka.
@Marcus
Next you’ll be telling me that they can make cars and a decent cup of tea
And beer…
@the Engine
And you lot can?
@Nate
Yes
@the Engine
Right then.
@Marcus
Or ………… Ugly as a tin full of dicks …….. I rest my case your honor
@Nate
Thats not a car ……….. us Aussies make cars ……. feast thy eyes
@the Engine
Purely in the interest of nurturing the Special Relationship, I will posit that while the Axis powers make the best cars, where “best” means relatively affordable luxury and reliability, none of those cars–nor no American vehicle–can compare to this:
n.b., I am not going so far as to say that the above vehicle actually runs.
@Blah Churrs
@Marko Nothing like the sound of carbon in the morning
@Deakus True Dat!
@Barracuda Blatant rip off of an American muscle car.
@Nate
Tell me you are not serious ……. Australian designed and built ….. just uses Chev motor …. Its a Holden ” MATE ” !
@Barracuda
But don’t you offset that by also making these?
Probably pretty good for hauling bikes around, though…
@Nate
@Barracuda
I hate to agree with Nate but I do.
The best thing we can say about the (100% foreign owned) Australian car industry is that it isnt as big as the US car industry so we don’t have to subsidize it by as much.
@Skip
utes are fucking cool.
@the Engine
Well, it’s fucking on now asshat. Are you seriously going to infer that we can’t make beer here? With the exception of Bud et al, the most glorious beer on the planet comes from here. As a matter of fact, pick a “Euro” style and I’ll give you 10 local examples that blow it the fuck out of the water. Don’t make me come over and fuckstart your head. (Like we ‘merican’s can’t cuss, holy Merckx’s one legged ball sack on a douche nozzle).
@Barracuda
Is that a Hot Wheels? There’s no woman with fake tits in the image so I can’t tell.
@Barracuda
Which is a GM. Far as I can tell, that’s basically a ‘Strailian Pontiac.
@Marcus
What is the world coming to? As Holden is a GM, I reckon we are already subsidizing your auto indus. Merry Christmas.
@scaler911
I was going to take this one on, but I thought it best to leave it to our PNW brethren. Carry on, @scaler.
@the Engine
We’re also responsible for this: http://www.thevine.com.au/entertainment/top10/the-top-ten-most-offensive-hip-hop-songs-of-all-time/ (honestly watch any of these at your own peril, just posting this link may get me banned from here). And yes @ Marcus, I realize the list is from a sheep fucker news site.
@PeakInTwoYears
Why should it run? It’s a work of art. But we should also be comparing apples to apples here:
While I come here for the cycling, three things dear to my heart are: bikes, sex and cars. So if we’re going to discuss cars on the “bikes” section (and I’m guessing @gaswepass will weigh in heavily on this subject), this gives a brother steelbone:
Speaking as a nearly lifelong resident of the US Pacific Northwest, I simply can’t take seriously any disparaging remarks about our beer. If the remarks are serious, they’re embarrassingly misinformed and should be overlooked–noblesse oblige. If they’re ironic, they can stand or fall on their comic merits or lack of them.
As for swearing, I’m happy to give credit wherever it is due. Swearing is fun, but it’s hardly as important as beer.