The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.

It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.

The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.

If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.

  • Rule #12 and the Cascade EffectRule #12 and the Cascade Effect
    That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ...
  • Guest Article: Black Is Not The New BlackGuest Article: Black Is Not The New Black
     @kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
  • Dialing in the StableDialing in the Stable
    This was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
  • Matching the drapes to the rugMatching the drapes to the rug
    As a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
  • Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourFestum Prophetae: Waiting for the Hour
    Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...

15,871 Replies to “The Bikes”

  1. @Nate I start off agreeing with you and look where it gets me.

    That being said, Australian beer is invariably ordinary. But very well suited to high volume ice cold consumption in warm weather. Which is what it is made for.

  2. @Marcus

    @Nate I start off agreeing with you and look where it gets me.

    That being said, Australian beer is invariably ordinary. But very well suited to high volume ice cold consumption in warm weather. Which is what it is made for.

    That kind of beer is important, too, and under appreciated by the US craft beer fundamentalists.

  3. @Nate

    @Marcus

    @Nate I start off agreeing with you and look where it gets me.

    That being said, Australian beer is invariably ordinary. But very well suited to high volume ice cold consumption in warm weather. Which is what it is made for.

    That kind of beer is important, too, and under appreciated by the US craft beer fundamentalists.

    +1

  4. @scaler911

    While I come here for the cycling, three things dear to my heart are: bikes, sex and cars. So if we’re going to discuss cars on the “bikes” section (and I’m guessing @gaswepass will weigh in heavily on this subject), this gives a brother steelbone:

    Do you need one of these to match your Shelby Mustang?

  6. @Nate

    @Barracuda

    @Nate

    @Barracuda Blatant rip off of an American muscle car.

    Tell me you are not serious ……. Australian designed and built ….. just uses Chev motor …. Its a Holden ” MATE ” !

    Which is a GM. Far as I can tell, that’s basically a ‘Strailian Pontiac.

    @Marcus

    @Nate

    @Barracuda
    I hate to agree with Nate but I do.

    …The best thing we can say about the (100% foreign owned) Australian car industry is that it isnt as big as the US car industry so we don’t have to subsidize it by as much.

    What is the world coming to? As Holden is a GM, I reckon we are already subsidizing your auto indus. Merry Christmas.

    @scaler911

    @the Engine

    And beer…

    Well, it’s fucking on now asshat. Are you seriously going to infer that we can’t make beer here? With the exception of Bud et al, the most glorious beer on the planet comes from here. As a matter of fact, pick a “Euro” style and I’ll give you 10 local examples that blow it the fuck out of the water. Don’t make me come over and fuckstart your head. (Like we ‘merican’s can’t cuss, holy Merckx’s one legged ball sack on a douche nozzle).

    I was going to take this one on, but I thought it best to leave it to our PNW brethren. Carry on, @scaler.

    Other way round Sir …..  the Pontiacs that resemble the cars Ive posted are actually Australian built and designed Commodores exported and rebadged for the US market …..

    Apology accepted (insert Smiley face)

  7. You know who LOVES his US cars – and I am not sure whether or not this enhances their image. I am thinking no.


    This caddy is what Gerry Ryan (caravan king of Australia and owner of GreenEdge) gave Evans for winning his Tour…

  8. @Barracuda

    Other way round Sir ….. the Pontiacs that resemble the cars Ive posted are actually Australian built and designed Commodores exported and rebadged for the US market …..

    Apology accepted (insert Smiley face)

    In that case I’ll be asking Mr. Obama to send Australia the bill for bailing out GM.

  10. @scaler911

    @the Engine

    And beer…

    Well, it’s fucking on now asshat. Are you seriously going to infer that we can’t make beer here? With the exception of Bud et al, the most glorious beer on the planet comes from here. As a matter of fact, pick a “Euro” style and I’ll give you 10 local examples that blow it the fuck out of the water. Don’t make me come over and fuckstart your head. (Like we ‘merican’s can’t cuss, holy Merckx’s one legged ball sack on a douche nozzle).

    Do you live in Belgium?

  13. @Nate that allusion escaped you like the reality of resetting mortgages escaped your countrymen. Hence they couldnt afford houses or new Escalades. Hence the GFC

  14. @Giles

    @scaler911

    @the Engine

    And beer…

    Well, it’s fucking on now asshat. Are you seriously going to infer that we can’t make beer here? With the exception of Bud et al, the most glorious beer on the planet comes from here. As a matter of fact, pick a “Euro” style and I’ll give you 10 local examples that blow it the fuck out of the water. Don’t make me come over and fuckstart your head. (Like we ‘merican’s can’t cuss, holy Merckx’s one legged ball sack on a douche nozzle).

    Do you live in Belgium?

    No. But I understand that they attempt to make beer like Fred from Hair of the Dog Brewing.

  15. @the Engine

    Our American friends are lightweights – I can’t imagine the colonials could ever come up with such baroque levels of filth as this for instance http://viz.co.uk/profanisaurus.php. Whereas those who remained with the old Imperial Preference through the glory days can Swear Properly (that’s like Training Properly but indoors) the ability to wheel out industrial scale profanity appears to have been lost.

    Its as if “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” was followed by “We will also replace proper swearing (because its British) with limp euphemisms including “shoot”, “heck” and “dang””. and for a finale “We will cease spelling properly, call our punctuation marks different things and introduce illogical pronunciation so that “lever” is not pronounced the same way as fever””.

    I’m still looking for the bit where they decided to call trousers pants – it’s probably in the Amendments somewhere…

    So wait. Let me see if i’ve got this straight. So the former penal colony, from which anyone rarely imports beer,  books,  music, see their movies (ok, romper stomper, but i digress), and struggles with language in general (profound intoxication even throws our beloved @scaler911 for a loop, in addition to the gender identification thing), is assailing american use of the english language, cars, and craft beer. Wow. I guess the internet is the great equalizer. And just a note on the car thing- the aussies could almost call it a tie because they can build card that go fast in a straight line like the americans. But then the vette and mustangs have learned to turn too. Hmm.

  16. @Marcus Oh that GFC.  I didn’t have one of those idiotic mortgages so I thought @Barracuda was referring either to some other rebadged Holden, the Geelong Football Club, or some other antipodean sporting association.

  18. @Marcus

    @gaswepass the Engine isn’t Australian

    Well fuckem anyhow.

    Glad i dint start with the whole sheep thing…

    Lets get back to bikes… Seems i fulfilled the absence of nuance role…

  19. @Marcus

    @Chris

    As ugly as a hatful of arseholes.

    Sorry, forgot that whilst Aussies are excellent and inventive at swearing they do get confused when it comes to clothing. Most sane people would keep their arseholes in a box or a bucket or a parliament, but a hat?

    I was slightly concerned the first time I played golf in Oz to see that Thongs were listed as being inappropriate attire. Surely it goes with out saying.

  22. @Giles

    @scaler911

    @the Engine

    And beer…

    Well, it’s fucking on now asshat. Are you seriously going to infer that we can’t make beer here? With the exception of Bud et al, the most glorious beer on the planet comes from here. As a matter of fact, pick a “Euro” style and I’ll give you 10 local examples that blow it the fuck out of the water. Don’t make me come over and fuckstart your head. (Like we ‘merican’s can’t cuss, holy Merckx’s one legged ball sack on a douche nozzle).

    Do you live in Belgium?

    Uh, Budweiser has been a “Belgian beer” since the buy out.

  23. @the Engine

    Well that escalated quickly.

    It is properly, “Boy, that escalated quickly.”  Might as well throw that in since we stopped talking about bikes a while ago it seems.  This has to be something close to posting record, more than a page in <8hr.

  24. And all this because I went for a mountain bike ride with the club in the snow last night and came back in surprisingly good humour for a Scotsman.

    For the record:

    I have two Citroen C4 people carriers nowadays – all a Velominatus could ever want in a car. French, wipe clean, will drive intercontinental mileages and are inexpensive thus allowing more money to be spent on looking pro and fantastic.

    Scotland should be good at beer as we are a northern European grain growing country populated by alcoholic depressives. However many of my fellow countrymen think that Tennents Lager is drinkable. Tennents may still be owned by the Belgians (I can’t be bothered looking it up) and one wonders what we did to offend that small but proud nation to deserve such pish.

    In much the same way that Frank uses South Park appreciation to immediately size up the suitability of contributors on here so a liking of Tennents Lager is a sure indication of whatever the Scottish equivalent is of a Boggan.

    I wear a plaid when not wearing Lycra.

  25. @Oli Man, I wish there was a delete function sometimes. Yet again, I apologise. I apologise for being pedantic (I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear) and I apologise for, yet again, firing off before engaging what I laughingly refer to as my brain.

    This time perhaps I could be partially excused for being in the sixth day of a slowly receding but excruciating root canal infection – I’m a grumpy fucking bear…

  26. In cycling news… I see Philippe Gilbert is blaming his saddle and pedals for his downturn in form in 2012.

    As far as i can tell BMC use Fizik Aliantes, and he was using Selle at Silence-Lotto, not sure which model.

    Pedals – anyone know ?

  27. @the Engine

    And all this because I went for a mountain bike ride with the club in the snow last night and came back in surprisingly good humour for a Scotsman.

    For the record:

    I have two Citroen C4 people carriers nowadays – all a Velominatus could ever want in a car. French, wipe clean, will drive intercontinental mileages and are inexpensive thus allowing more money to be spent on looking pro and fantastic.

    Scotland should be good at beer as we are a northern European grain growing country populated by alcoholic depressives. However many of my fellow countrymen think that Tennents Lager is drinkable. Tennents may still be owned by the Belgians (I can’t be bothered looking it up) and one wonders what we did to offend that small but proud nation to deserve such pish.

    In much the same way that Frank uses South Park appreciation to immediately size up the suitability of contributors on here so a liking of Tennents Lager is a sure indication of whatever the Scottish equivalent is of a Boggan.

    I wear a plaid when not wearing Lycra.

    Personally I have always thought of Bellhaven 80 shilling heavy as an excellent beer!  Unfortunately I have to confess that the Deakus ancestors on the Isle of Lewis were not so diligent in their appreciation and tended to drinki either Tennants (when they had lovely ladies on the side of the tin, which I have to say at the age of 14 I thought was the best beer…or can, I had ever seen!) or McEwans export….which I would put at the end of the scale along with Budweiser (not Budvar) and Fosters…. it seems that all countries are perfectly capable of making crap beer!

  28. @Oli Nah, carry on as you were. If we all stopped and asked “what would Eddy do?” before hitting the submit post button, we’d all have fucked off on 300km training rides in the rain behind a fat block on a moped, leaving @frank no one to play with.

  29. @Deakus

    @the Engine

    And all this because I went for a mountain bike ride with the club in the snow last night and came back in surprisingly good humour for a Scotsman.

    For the record:

    I have two Citroen C4 people carriers nowadays – all a Velominatus could ever want in a car. French, wipe clean, will drive intercontinental mileages and are inexpensive thus allowing more money to be spent on looking pro and fantastic.

    Scotland should be good at beer as we are a northern European grain growing country populated by alcoholic depressives. However many of my fellow countrymen think that Tennents Lager is drinkable. Tennents may still be owned by the Belgians (I can’t be bothered looking it up) and one wonders what we did to offend that small but proud nation to deserve such pish.

    In much the same way that Frank uses South Park appreciation to immediately size up the suitability of contributors on here so a liking of Tennents Lager is a sure indication of whatever the Scottish equivalent is of a Boggan.

    I wear a plaid when not wearing Lycra.

    Personally I have always thought of Bellhaven 80 shilling heavy as an excellent beer! Unfortunately I have to confess that the Deakus ancestors on the Isle of Lewis were not so diligent in their appreciation and tended to drinki either Tennants (when they had lovely ladies on the side of the tin, which I have to say at the age of 14 I thought was the best beer…or can, I had ever seen!) or McEwans export….which I would put at the end of the scale along with Budweiser (not Budvar) and Fosters…. it seems that all countries are perfectly capable of making crap beer!

    Fuck I have just looked back over last nights post…what the fuck happened was everyone on EPO and Stella!?  It looks like it turned in to a my country is better than yours and we make better beer and cars fest…which I have to say is normally a conversation I have at the pub and either ends in a fat lip or grown men hugging!

    I thought this was a site about bikes?  It looks like some kind of extract from Men and Motors meets Top Gear….and what is worse, I missed it all!

  31. @ChrisO

    In cycling news… I see Philippe Gilbert is blaming his saddle and pedals for his downturn in form in 2012.

    As far as i can tell BMC use fi’zi:k Aliantes, and he was using Selle at Silence-Lotto, not sure which model.

    Pedals – anyone know ?

    From Cycling New’s pictures of the PR this year they’re using a stripped down Speedplay thing http://www.cyclingnews.com/features/photos/more-race-bikes-from-paris-roubaix/15413

  32. @the Engine

    @ChrisO

    In cycling news… I see Philippe Gilbert is blaming his saddle and pedals for his downturn in form in 2012.

    As far as i can tell BMC use fi’zi:k Aliantes, and he was using Selle at Silence-Lotto, not sure which model.

    Pedals – anyone know ?

    From Cycling New’s pictures of the PR this year they’re using a stripped down Speedplay thing http://www.cyclingnews.com/features/photos/more-race-bikes-from-paris-roubaix/15413

    I guess that works where other brands would not because on speedplays it is the cleat that determines the surface area of contact not the pedal…..they still look pretty strange I am not sure I would like to ride those bad boys!

  33. @Deakus

    @Deakus

    @the Engine

    And all this because I went for a mountain bike ride with the club in the snow last night and came back in surprisingly good humour for a Scotsman.

    For the record:

    I have two Citroen C4 people carriers nowadays – all a Velominatus could ever want in a car. French, wipe clean, will drive intercontinental mileages and are inexpensive thus allowing more money to be spent on looking pro and fantastic.

    Scotland should be good at beer as we are a northern European grain growing country populated by alcoholic depressives. However many of my fellow countrymen think that Tennents Lager is drinkable. Tennents may still be owned by the Belgians (I can’t be bothered looking it up) and one wonders what we did to offend that small but proud nation to deserve such pish.

    In much the same way that Frank uses South Park appreciation to immediately size up the suitability of contributors on here so a liking of Tennents Lager is a sure indication of whatever the Scottish equivalent is of a Boggan.

    I wear a plaid when not wearing Lycra.

    Personally I have always thought of Bellhaven 80 shilling heavy as an excellent beer! Unfortunately I have to confess that the Deakus ancestors on the Isle of Lewis were not so diligent in their appreciation and tended to drinki either Tennants (when they had lovely ladies on the side of the tin, which I have to say at the age of 14 I thought was the best beer…or can, I had ever seen!) or McEwans export….which I would put at the end of the scale along with Budweiser (not Budvar) and Fosters…. it seems that all countries are perfectly capable of making crap beer!

    Fuck I have just looked back over last nights post…what the fuck happened was everyone on EPO and Stella!? It looks like it turned in to a my country is better than yours and we make better beer and cars fest…which I have to say is normally a conversation I have at the pub and either ends in a fat lip or grown men hugging!

    I thought this was a site about bikes? It looks like some kind of extract from Men and Motors meets Top Gear….and what is worse, I missed it all!

    I blame the pain killers and antibiotics on my rants ……  thats my story and Im sticking too it ….

    Now, back to the bikes …..  ahhhh that feels better

  34. @the Engine, @Deakus Whilst BMC/Gilbert may have used those at PR, in most other photos, his BMC looks like it’s got something more traditional on it like Shimanos which would go with the rest of his groupset.

    I’d love a set of those speedplays, I just would like the idea of banging one off my shin.

  35. @Chris

    @the Engine, @Deakus Whilst BMC/Gilbert may have used those at PR, in most other photos, his BMC looks like it’s got something more traditional on it like Shimanos which would go with the rest of his groupset.

    I’d love a set of those speedplays, I just would like the idea of banging one off my shin.

    Cadel was using Look pedals at the 2012 tour..

  36. @Chris

    @the Engine, @Deakus Whilst BMC/Gilbert may have used those at PR, in most other photos, his BMC looks like it’s got something more traditional on it like Shimanos which would go with the rest of his groupset.

    I’d love a set of those speedplays, I just would like the idea of banging one off my shin.

    Confidis on Looks as well…..Keo Blade Carbons?

  37. @ChrisO

    I kind of thought that pedals were mostly up to the rider, I can see for switching bikes, but that isn’t always the case?

  39. From CN: Radio Shack Holds Team Building Camp in Luxembourg

    See, that’s your problem right there… Fabian might as well forget next year right now and concentrate on preparing for The Hour.

  40. @DerHoggz

    @ChrisO

    I kind of thought that pedals were mostly up to the rider, I can see for switching bikes, but that isn’t always the case?

    I thought the pedals were not riders choice but a team thing….I saw a quote somewhere where Jensie said he picked his team because of the pedals.  Having said that I think it was a speedplay advert but it still indicates I think pedals are a team thing.

    I had heard that only shoes (maybe saddles) were rider specific and non negotiable….they tend to carry both in their hand luggage on flights!

  41. @ChrisO

    In cycling news… I see Philippe Gilbert is blaming his saddle and pedals for his downturn in form in 2012.

    As far as i can tell BMC use fi’zi:k Aliantes, and he was using Selle at Silence-Lotto, not sure which model.

    Pedals – anyone know ?

    http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/valverde-believes-ban-could-extend-career

    In other cycling news, Valverde thinks 18 month ban will extend his career. I wish this guy would just fuck off. Why don’t they all just takes drugs, get busted, take 2 years off, come back and make even more money??!!

  42. @Bianchi Denti I have to resort to internet lingo here for a sec ROFL…I think I submitted an article a while ago about Valverdes whinging…the moment has gone and the humour would not carry but the essence of it was, his brain is nowhere near as fast as his mouth….he is like a comedy ventriloquist dummy!

    I hate to say it but…never forget..being good on the bike should never be mistaken for having a brain..in fact quite often the two are mutually exclusive..ergo… “go there, hurt yourself for 5 hrs…they will love you and we will give you money!”

    I still love them…but they are not me!

  43. Blaming your pedals? Hmm, I love a scapegoat & I’ll add them to the list of potentials. Can’t wait to tell the VMH, “It wasn’t my fault…it was the fuckin’ pedals!” I’ve been wanting to try out Speedplays anyway.

    Hey, has anyone seen a Raleigh Record Ace in the wild?

    I was locking up my bike the other night & noticed a slick looking road bike locked up. Hmm. Upon closer inspection it looked to be lugged steel with a nice cream-colored paint job. Nice. Arione, Ultegra groupset, Ritchey pillar & stem. Is this thing old or new? I couldn’t tell. Is this a real enthusiast with a hot old Raleigh with new bits or just someone bitten by the retro bug? Then I recalled seeing that Specialized had come out with a “retro” steel bike a year or so ago.

    And then I spied the Rasta bar tape & double screw top bidon…

  44. picking up the 29er in less than 2 hours! have not been this excited in a while  pictures and story of the acquisition coming soon.

  46. Finally got home. I was hoping to hit the trail for a bit after I purchased the bike but since AZ doesn’t do DLS so the sun was already to far down at 5:30. I got home and installed the bottle cages and Shimano clipless pedals and started bombing around my apartment complex. Riding around on the grass< gravel and jumping speed bumps. Already switched  saddles and raised the stem by 1 spacer since I took these pictures. actual trail pictures coming soon. [dmalbum: path="/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/RedRanger/2012.12.07.01.40.44/"/]

  49. @RedRanger Pure hotness. I was just looking at the same thing. Love the fork. I can’t wait for a full report. Well done.

  50. Some details: This bike is a 1×10, with X9 rear mech and X7 shifter. Avid Elixir hydro brakes. Tubless wheels(funny enough). The crank is Shimano SLX. Apart from that beautiful carbon for I got the suspension fork in the deal along with some SLX shifters and chain ring, if I want to go 3×10. As is the bike is pretty light, I know the Tora shock is gonna add a fair amount of weight but it will make it more enjoyable on the trail.

    @marko
    in 2010 I volunteered at the local 24 hour mountain bike race. there were guys ripping on SS totally rigid Niners. I was in love with the brand ever since. Thats a Rule #5 race right there. 24 hours to ride a 18 mile circuit as many times as possible, in the Sonoran desert in February(its pretty cold at 2am). winners are averaging 17 laps.

    Anyway. a while back I get a FB friend request from “C”. never met the guy but going through pictures I can see he is a cyclist. Looks like he rode for Jelly Belly a few years ago. He does the shoot out, rides El Tour de Tucson and all that. As some of you may have noticed Ive been talking about getting a 29er for a while, just never happens cause something always comes up. well this Fall I was finally closing in on getting one for real at the local bike swap. I message him for advise since he knows the local trails and bike suggestions(never having talked to him before). he gives me advise on what to look for and some nice trails and says btw if you dont find anything at the swap I have this(the Niner). so thats basically how this bike came to be. C is more than willing to show me the ropes and wants to go riding when I get some rides under my belt.

    Point of all that Marko is to say a MTB would be a good addition to your stable. Everything Ive read makes me thing 29ers is where its at, but your local riding will dictate what you ride

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